Is It Gay To Drink Matcha? | Your Mom's House Ep. 839

Welcome to your mom's house. Welcome to another episode of your mom's house. I'm Tom, she's Christine. How are you today? I'm feeling great Tom because I feel like I've reclaimed myself today. Oh really? What are you doing? Cleaning my glasses. Your glasses. It's funny because you know I've had these glasses for like a decade and it's like my signature look and then you came into the glasses scene later and you chose very similar frames. No, all this is nonsense. This is your making yourself. So then I thought you know what, I'll let Tim have the glasses shine for a while. I will retreat from wearing mine and now I realize I love these so much. I can't let my fear of your disapproval govern the glasses I wear. This is just bananas. You did not start those. But now we look. I'm sorry, I didn't start these? No. Between the, in our world. In our world I had them first. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Wrong. No, you're wrong. No, I had glasses. Wrong. I had glasses before you and I chose these frames before. Now people are going to think we're like twinsies and that's on you. No. I had them first. You can take them off now. You can choose another. You don't have a good memory. I remember that about you. Wow. I remember. Guys, you've been here a long time. Who wore glasses first? These particular frames. I can't remember. No, look it up. Look in the vaults. I want someone to research it. Yeah, he is fucking right, Tim. Yeah, he can't remember. That's right. That's real right. Silly. Yep. Well, you're back. It's just absolutely ridiculous. Yeah. I mean, I see me in glasses everywhere. That's because I stopped wearing them because I felt like we were twinsies and it felt super gay and lame and retarded and I didn't want to be old. Okay, enough. Enough. Thanks for the shirt you got me yesterday. Just so you know, I had a thoughtful gift. I gave you a framed photo that was really nice. Yeah. Cool. And then you go, hey, I got you something. And I go, oh, cool. It's a shirt. And I go, great. And then you walk in with a yellow shirt. And I was like, that's kind of interesting. And then I open it up and you know what it says on it? Retard. In huge black letters. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you should look up the company. Fucking retarded. I should give them a shout out because they're doing really bold designs. Bold. It's a bold design. It's a yellow shirt with the black word retard on it. It's a bold design. I found them on Instagram and they do, they say a lot of other things that are. You use the R word. Yeah. I really liked that. You don't like your gift? No, it was really neat. When am I supposed to wear that? To the gym? Retard? To the H-E-B? Just, hey, I'm a retard. That's your idea? When you're traveling. R word. Why not? Jog in the neighborhood with it and see what happens. I know what'll happen. I'll get an email. Is this a, I didn't create it. It's an actual company. I'll look it up. Swing for the retarded, is that what that says? No. I swear. Have you heard of it? It's a company. It's on Instagram. I found them. All right. This is real funny. Would you please wear it jogging once? What do you think, you know, like that guy who you have the story about in the last bit, like a guy like that would be really stoked? He might be like, oh, interesting. Yeah. It's a bold design you have on. Well, this guy, this guy's bold. Let's open the show with this guy. You're fucking retarded. Fuck you, you retarded fat motherfucking retarded fucks. I don't got any money. I got fire. I got beer. And I got some joints. Hell yeah, dude. You're not getting my friendship if you're going to be a fucking fake ass motherfucker? Yeah. Ah, listen up. All right. I lost a lot of followers, but you're probably fake ass motherfucking robots that everyone keeps talking about. Yeah. I'm a hot bitch that has, I'm a hot ass chick showing her boobies and shit, showing her fucking half her body. L. This is fake. Who is Randy? Don't bring anyone loving to this. He's got a point. He's got a point. So silly. Welcome to your mom's house with Tom Segura. Ah. Christina Pajitzen. Christina Pajitzen. Christina Pajitzen. Christina Pajitzen. Welcome to your mom's house. Meow meow meow. Meow meow. Meow meow. Meow meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Fuck you you retarded fat motherfucking retarded fucks Cool right? But he's not wrong. He's not wrong. Everything he's like they got weed. They got fire. They got fire. They got some beers. They got a fucking hat. I got some like what else do you need? You don't need anything else. You don't want fake ass friends. You don't need them. He thought he made it clear. I don't care. He shares five followers, zero posts and it's new. So yeah and then they follow me. You want me to follow that shit? Yeah. How about get some other fuckers that have 18 million followers and then send me the fucking hot chicks. I'm like the hot chicks are bullshit. They're all fake fucking bullshit man. So you can go fuck a goat's ass hole. Actually go fuck a dead goat's ass. Oh wow. Go down the fucking farmer's road and fuck it. Fuck you. You fucking scammer mother fuckers. Fuck you. Yeah. I think what I feel is that he just learned the internet. He learned about bots. He learned about you know. Yeah. He also I have to say though you know he's like these uh these ho accounts. Fuck those. He's real upset because he but I understand that he's like you tricked me. I thought you were into me. You're not into me. You're fake robots. You're fake lady. Yeah. I get the anger. I'm gonna sit here with my fire and my joints and my beer. God damn dude he's cool. Just be happy. Yeah. I'd kick it with that. You're fucking retarded. Yeah. You like that? I do. Yeah. You can get him a shirt. Oh for sure dude. I'm sure he'd like that. For sure. Listen can I I need to address this before I loses it gets out of my mind. Yeah. I'm gonna get a little bit of a risky effect right before we started rolling today. Oh my goodness. Yeah. Timing is of the essence. You want to. Of course. Yeah. We got to address. Yeah. What's up? I thought I had to get a sound effect. Oh you got a sound effect. Okay. Sorry. Cat's eating kibble. Yeah dude it's just that big. It's a big deal. What is it? Enny are you there? Yeah. Okay. Oh. Enny. Where is he? He's got a he's got a clown nose on. What? Stop it. Enny. You did not show up with a clown nose. Are you wearing a clown nose? It's just an accessory. Fucking lie. I like this style. Jesus man. It matches my hat. What are you talking about? You're a real clown you know that? Not cool man. Clowning around. Not cool. Parful of clowns. Pulled up in your clown car today. Loud music clowns. Unbelievable. Playing their clown tunes. Talking in movie clowns. We're getting so close. So close. Pull your clown pants up. I can see the letters forming in the background. Yeah CLOWN. I think there's some more forming in there. Yeah I think so. Okay. You know if you see a clown car roll up you can always just pull away from the gas station. You can just drive away. With the pump still in your gas tank. Yeah. You can. It'll cost you but you can. Yeah. How much to replace the... I know. It's gonna be so terrible. My chevron says hey. I know you got scared when that clown car pulled up. But you did some massive damage to this gas station. Yeah. It's gotta be far. Okay but sorry. Oh yeah what's your effect man? Bro. So like I'm a little under the weather today so I brought some throat coat and some which is disgusting I know. It's a disgusting name. It's a disgusting name. It feels like it's Giz. Yeah. They know better. They know what they're doing. Yeah I'm gonna coat your throat. Yeah throat come. Yeah. So it was either throat coat or immune zoom. Mm-hmm. Listen to me. Are you listening? I'm listening. So I came here. I did the cup and then I go shit now it's Sophie's choice. Do I want better immunity or do I want my throat coated? Uh-huh. For this performance. But then I had a fucking thought bro. I was like why can't I have both? Why can't I have... It's not Sophie's choice. Right. It's not binary. It is not Pepsi or Coke. I can have both things in my cup at once. And that's what you've done. Yeah. Wow. Have you thought that? Have you mixed flavors? In tea I don't think I have. You can do that. You can do that. You can make chamomile orange mixed berry green tea. You can do whatever the fuck you want. You can do that with juices too. You could take a orange juice and put grapefruit juice in it together. You don't have to select one. You can mix them. Listen up. I've tried every pair of men's run-of-the-mill underwear on the market. Christina swears by skims so I had to give them a shot when their men's line dropped. 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This deal is exclusive to listeners and frames sell out fast, so order yours now to get it in time for the holidays. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout terms and conditions apply. You can mix fragrances. That's a real good one. One spray of cologne here, different one here. That's crazy. Crazy. Make people go, what's going on? What scent is that? Who is this person? I blended them. But I'm being serious. Have you ever put two different flavors of tea? I've never thought. I've always thought pick a tea. And then you got two going. That's wild. That's some communist shit. You singled him out. Well, because any, I feel he and I treat ourselves similarly and that we don't have any sense of self-love or care. Yeah, we don't deserve nice things. Have you ever conceived of this? Have you ever thought of that? No, I think even now I feel like this is a lot. Like, do I need all this? Yeah. It's a lot. Do I deserve two flavors? I feel like, correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel like your position would be that tea is gay. Tea is gay. No, man, tea is gay. Tea's okay. Well, you know why? Because like, shall and monks drink tea and their top is fuck. So like, real men drink tea. I mean, I don't disagree. I just thought any might be like, hell no, I ain't drinking no tea. No, I mean, matcha is gay. That's gay as fuck. Oh, matcha is gay. Fuck matcha. But tea is just regular tea. I like matcha. What is matcha? What is this? I mean, it's made from leaves and everything too, right? It's just a tea that they've marketed to us instead of coffee, which I'm a coffee person. Yeah, matcha is a finely ground powder made from shade grown green tea leaves that are steam dried in stone ground. Poser. What, why? It's pretending to be as good as coffee and nothing is as good as coffee. Yeah, but it's still good. It's not good. You've never had it and liked it? I've had it and I've been like, this tastes like poser ass coffee. Wow. I've always liked it. And he backed me up. I mean, I already told you, man. Why is it that matcha is that? It's just going out of the way. Hey, I said no, matcha is not gay. It's a tea that anyone can enjoy. That's a real answer. The idea that it has a particular association with the LGBTQ plus community likely stems from anecdotal observations and its popularity within certain social circles. I've never heard that it is gay. He's calling it gay. Yeah, AI is not there yet. It's getting smarter. It's getting there. Yeah. Is matcha truly a gender neutral? What is going on? Okay. But it feels gay, but why does it feel gay? I don't know because it's a straw. And it's all green and gay. Yeah. Yeah, you're sucking on your mom's tits, your matcha tits. I mean, I don't know. And then, but what about boba? I feel like, is that? Boba? Yeah. I don't know what that is. No, boba is just Asian. See? But then where's the line between Asian and gay? Well, I think that's on the same spectrum. Because this is green tea, this is Asian too. It's not Asian. Green tea? This is made of green tea leaves. No, but I mean like matcha, isn't that like Argentine or something? Is it Indian? Is matcha gay? Is matcha Indian? Oh, you're right. Oh, China, China, China. Okay, so it's also Asian. So like what's gay Asian stuff and what's not gay Asian stuff, you know? Yeah, but I think that, what was the other one that you said? What was the Asian one? Boba. Where is matcha most popular? That's the answer for you. I feel like boba is for like Japanese girls, like little Asian girls. Like it? Yeah, like Hollywood hasn't taken over boba yet, is basically what's going on. It's still Asian. But Hollywood took over matcha. That's it. That's the distinction. So the Japanese are really into matcha. But then when Heidi Klum drinks it, it becomes lame. Or when Guanatelechro starts, it's lame. Yeah, if you have Asian in you, you can have matcha. That's fine. I agree. I agree, any. I think your assessment is correct. If you're Asian, it doesn't make you gay to drink matcha. But if you're white, particularly a white woman, and you're drinking matcha, you're gay. Super gay. If you're a white man drinking matcha, you know. I've experimented for sure. You're gay, Tom. You're officially gay. I mean, I haven't had it in a while, but I feel like I want to try it and see if I feel gay when I drink it. Do you think about your pool dad? When you drink your matcha. We haven't heard anything, have we? Silence. He's playing hard to get. Is he? Yeah. Well, I'll tell you what it'll make. This will put me in a better mood. Hold on, here we go. Hey everybody, how you doing? Larry here from Prepare Not Paranoid. I want to give you three garage safety tips. Okay. Number one, make sure the release cord is short. So they can't come in there with a coat hanger and pull it and release the door and then open up the door manually. That's number one. Okay. All right. Excuse me. Number two, many garage door openers have a lockout feature on the opener. You lock that out, it prevents the key fobs that you leave in your car from opening the garage. Oh. Yeah, because somebody could break into your car, hit the key fob in the car, all of a sudden garage is open and you've got a home door. I've got a home door invasion. Done. Easy. Correct. Regular thing that happens. Okay. Number three. Yep. Make sure you have a good lock and use it. Use your lock. If you want to put a bolt lock down here, that will help prevent people coming in. What happens is once a bad guy gets into your garage, closes the garage door, they have all day to work on this lock and your neighbors won't see. Oh yeah. So you will be safe lock people out. Okay. Also, the insight of lock the door, some stuff people don't even think about. My mother was so mentally ill about this particular thing. This in particular? Literally the garage door to the home, she put a sign on there, lock the door so that you had to lock it every time because she was just this paranoid. She was also schizophrenic. This is prepared not paranoid. But I have a few questions. Your mom was paranoid not prepared. And schizo. Yeah. Yeah. What are your questions? Okay. So if you're not disabling the fobs, then what's the point of having them? No, you're not disabling the fobs. You're already in the garage. You're hitting that lock feature so that the fob doesn't work while you're already in your house. But what if you forget to unlock it and you leave and then you're already in the garage? That's a real issue. That's a problem. Because I would. I'd be like, oh, I forgot that I locked the fucking fobs. And then you're sitting in your driveway like, I can't get out of my car. There's bad guys everywhere. Then you just drive away. You don't go home. Drive home. You just never go home again. Yeah. Don't go. And then he mentions that you need to have a cord that's not too long. For the, yeah. But what does he mean? Because they can use a hanger. I think a hanger could pull a longer cord. How? Like how are they getting the hanger? You can stick the hanger through the top of the door and then hook it around that cable and pull it. Clowns know all the tricks. Oh my God. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Is that too mean? That one gave me, that one was me. That one gave me a lot of, wow, wow, wow. Yeah. I can't fucking believe where I work. This is my job. Is that too mean? Sorry. No. Oh no. Should we cut that out? No. I feel terrible. I'm sorry. Let me tell you. My hands are sweating now. I feel like I did something bad. You're fine. Did you, it was bad? Oh, here we go. Oh, okay. All right. Overmatched first line of defense. Just watch a few YouTube videos and would be crooks can learn to pop the emergency release with a coat hanger in just a few seconds. Phoenix police told us this is an age old burglar's trick. They've been seeing it going back 20 plus years, but there's an equally low cost way to fight back. All you do is you take a standard zip tie and just wrap it around where it connects. A quick how to. You just string it through the holes in the emergency release. Stitch it up nice and tight. Now this cord can't be pulled by the way. You might also want to shorten this or remove it all together. Yeah. When I just remove the cord, you mean just get a pair of scissors? Just remember. I'm not going to figure out. Take your trauma shears and just put on your night vision goggles. Get in there in the dark. Yeah. Rip out the string. Well, so now we know your garage is a vulnerable entry point. All right. It's volatile. Yes. Such a wonderful awareness here, buddy. Thank you for this tip. Let's move on to the next one. Lock the doors. Take a look at some of these videos. Not every bad situation is going to be somebody trying to hurt you. Sometimes it's just you not paying attention. Oh, shit. And here are some classic videos to be a reminder. Stay off your phone and be aware of your surroundings. That's true. That's a good one. You will be safe. That's a hot tip. That is. Yeah. I mean, we all have been distracted by our phones. Oh, yeah. People walking into, you know, open door like, yeah. Walking in the street. In Judoic titties, sometimes those sidewalks are just wide open. I'll tell you the craziest thing about where you don't want to be on your phone is walking near that bike path. Where? In New York? Yeah. The cyclists come by fucking 30 miles an hour and they don't give a fuck. They will knock your ass out. It's crazy. You're opening a door to get out of a car in New York and the cyclists come by flying by. You don't want to be on your phone and I think you should do a new video about that. Well, and also, I think there's so many scraps of safety he's leaving on the table. For instance, I... Oh, he's not done. Oh, I'm sorry. I should... Yeah, I mean, he's not done. Like, please go ahead. I hate seeing people wearing inappropriate footwear in public. For instance, if you're in an airport and you're traveling, you should be wearing clothes, toe shoes. How slippers? Should be wearing slippers or flip-flops. Yeah. Yeah. And your pajamas. Your pajamas. But what if you have to run? I mean... You've got to hit the deck. He would definitely agree with you. Yeah. You don't want to be wearing your clown shoes when you're at the airport. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace, the all-in-one platform designed to build your brand, grow your business, and succeed online. Whether you're selling services, booking clients, or just getting your ideas out there, Squarespace gives you everything you need all in one place. It's super easy to offer services. 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Season C's apply. 18 month contract. Prices may rise during contract. Check availability at gigaclear.com. Right? Clowns do. Yeah, lace them up. Oh yeah, loose, Timberlands. What? That's the style. There's different types. Yeah, loosen them up. Loosen up the boots. I know you get out of TSA and they're all loose. You got it tied up. Time back up. You don't want to leave. You could have to run at any moment. Yeah. Well, that's the truth. If you're at an airport, yeah, that's a hot spot. You're not going to be able to run. You're not going to be able to run. You're not going to be able to run. You're not going to be able to run. You're not going to be able to run. You're not going to be able to run. Yeah, that's a high risk area. I'm sure Sean can have some instructions. Oh yeah. He would wear combat boots. Well, that's got a triple tie. A steel toe. You can't get through security. He's ready. He's ready for anything at any time. Here we go. Hey, everybody. Larry here from Preparing Not Power. I want to give you a few tips when you're exiting a store this holiday season. When you come out, if you're not familiar with the environment, take two to three seconds to scan, see if you see anything that stands out. Oh shit. Chicken with your instincts to see if anything is going on. Yeah. If it's an environment you're unfamiliar with, take about eight to 10 seconds and give a little bit slower scan. Two. When you scan your environment, scan from right to left. Give it a good scan. Take your time. And then scan from three to five yards and 20 to 25 yards. I'm going to puke. How will I gauge these distances? I know. Like a bald eagle? And also, not left to right. Right to left. Hold on. Let's do it. All right, I did my five yard scan. How do you know you're doing five? I know what five yards is. And now I reset and I go to 25 yards. Okay. But are you spending eight to 10 seconds? No, that was too fast. That was way too fast. Count it out. Let's do it. One, two, three, four, five, six. How much distance are we doing? Seven, eight. How far are you looking? Well, I'm looking as far as I can in this room. But I did five yards first. So I'm doing my second scan now, which would be further out. Be like, Tom, can you get in the car? You're like, I'm doing my safety scans. I'm doing my scans. Shut the fuck up. I'm saving you. This is not a familiar environment. Yeah, that's good advice. That is good advice. How crazy would you be if you really started doing this show? I mean, you should. Losing your mind. Hey, everybody. It's fall. It's going to be getting darker earlier. And I think everybody should have access to a good flashlight at all times. Please don't rely on your phone. If you have to get your phone flashlight on, you're going to look down, hit the code, and then turn the flashlight on. It's not a great flashlight. You're distracted while turning it on. Yeah. Get a good flashlight. Keep it readily available all the time. I like a short fire. Yeah. I just like it. I like this one. You know, I have a tail cap activation. So if I need to open up a car door, open up a door, move my child, carry groceries, I still have one hand free. Free. Okay. To access all the positions that I need. So do yourself a favor. Do yourself a favor. I have a whole section on flashlights in the prepared university. Be well. Prepare university. Fuck yeah. It's an accredited university. Also, I'm thinking, I see a little flaw here. He's telling me that to get my phone out and use that light is taking too long. But what about rummaging through my purse? What about rummaging through my pockets to find my flashlight? Well, that's the thing. I mean, I should have it around my neck. I should have a lanyard. Yeah, you wear a lanyard with a flashlight. Or you have it on a belt strap. You clip it onto your belt so you always know where it is. It's in the same place every time. It was a great point that you made, and that's the answer. This is still not fully safe. You don't put it in your purse like a fucking child. An idiot. Like excessive at all times. Boom. Boom. Boom. Now. Right here. What's the tactical vest is for? That's what the tactical vest is for. That's why we're wearing the tactical vest. That's right. What are you thinking? So I have to put on, hold on, just to re... If I want to go to the grocery store with the children, I have to put on a tactical vest with what's in there. Well, you'll have pepper spray. Pepper spray. You'll have a stun gun. You'll have a flashlight. You'll have night vision goggles. Obviously. It's getting darker early. You'll have maybe a pellet gun with those shock bags, and then probably a couple of knives. Yeah. And then you're like, all right, I'm ready to go out. And I think in Texas, you can carry all that shit on your purse. I'm sure it's not a problem. I wouldn't even ask her check. I would just do it. And as for forgiveness, not permission. Oh yeah. They'd be like, oh, who cares? Well, she was protecting herself. It was fucking dangerous, man. You're at HB. It's dangerous. HB. Yeah. All right. Very cool, man. Do you know who would love this as our children, though? If we got them those vests with all that shit on it, our boys would love traumashiers, flashlight. We should get them tactical vests for Christmas. They would fucking wear it every day. Every day. Yeah. That's what you should get, your boys. Well, and your girls. Why be sexist? Yeah. You know, you can get your girls this holiday season. My new liquid lipstick. This is the new shade I'm wearing. It's called Cuts You Up. And then I also have my brand new Whimsy Kiss, my shimmer gloss. This I'm wearing right now, it's Radiance Balm in the Color Stardust. Because why not shine and shimmer and gleam and sparkle for this holiday season? All available at christinape.com. Try it out. These are high quality products. I make this in Italy. It is so luxurious and so amazed, and it's so much better than the dog shit makeup that I've been wearing for the last, you know, my whole life. So I made my own, and it's way better. There you go. Try it out. My new special teacher comes out Christmas Eve on Netflix. So set your reminders. Please watch. Please enjoy. Wear your tactical vest while you're watching, in case somebody chokes. Well, you could be in your house watching teacher, and then all of a sudden, you know, somebody crashes through the window. So you need to have everything readily available. There's a booth quake. Also a reminder, check out the pop-up location of the new Italian bakery, Ciccio Bamba, here in Austin, Texas at 111 Congress. That's the Fairground Food Hall below the Wells Fargo building in downtown Austin. Thank you guys very much for your support of it. It's been fantastic. So moving on to a nice transition here. Let's go to see what this guy's up to. Face is not withdrawn. It's not like sunken in, but your jawline is stronger. Like your jawline is stronger. And you know, a bitch is like that. They like a nigga with a strong jawline. Hey bro, I'm looking at this at like 10. Yeah, casual. Yeah. Wow, any. You can't see yourself, man. Like, hey bro, I'm picture you. Boy, you on that motherfucker there. Yeah, that's me. So I'm like 1.44 this morning. In that picture you sent to me this morning, I'm 1.40 in that picture. Yeah. So he's an accountant in Miami. Of course. But he's got, I guess, anybody you think, is that cool to say? Uh, I mean, it's not, but I'm not fucking with this nigga. He looks dangerous and scary. I feel like he does meth for breakfast and he'll like kill you if you have a problem with it. So I'm just gonna be like, you know what you can say though. Yeah, I hear you. I hear you. This is him. Oh yeah. Mike Fadeli from Fadeli & Associates. You see what I'm saying? We're here in South Beach to provide income tax and IRS services to high net worth athletes and entertainers who have many serious IRS problems. If you do, DM me and we'll get you out of all your problems. There you go. That's that guy. Girls, she's traumatized. Yeah, that's him right there. He pinned this. He pinned it. To the top of his page. Oh wow. What were the comments like? Were they approbling or I see salt but I heard pepper. I don't approve this message. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Why'd it come off so smooth though? You see what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah, why does it come off? You don't fuck with a white man that says that confidently. Confidently. Yeah, that's a mistake. Yeah, he did. There's no hesitation. Well see, and I wonder, this is a very important philosophical problem though. Is it ever acceptable in your friendship with a black person as a white person to drop the end box? I mean, I think that's a case by case. Clearly, I think his friend is black and had no problem with him saying that. I don't know. I'd be afraid of hurting some feelings. Well I know but I'm saying that that friend seemed to have seemed to be seamless or is he terrified of him like any say? Maybe his combination of the two. I wouldn't lead with it if you had a new friend. Yeah. No. Yeah. Pretty cool. This guy is so cool. He is doing some wild shit. I can see his peeky right there. Yeah. Yeah, he's showing you. Okay. Boca. She, Dr. Laying it down. Yeah, he is something else. He is. That's human agile. That's my accountant. Like you're just scrolling. That's the guy that got me out of my tax trouble. Yep. That is the guy you want to get you out of your tax trouble. This is the guy you hired to get you out of tax trouble. Yeah, I agree. It really is. He knows all the tricks, all the angles. He definitely knows. He's a confident accountant. He knows. Look at that look in his profile pic. He's giving you blue steel right there. Yeah, he's fine. He's a half a man. Got a great head of hair. Incredible head of hair. Oh yeah. I saw one if you scroll where he was, scroll a little more. He was brushing his hair and it was unbelievable the hair this guy had. I mean, seriously. No. Oh, maybe he, oh, he archives a lot. But yeah, he's always with chicks. It looks easy. Just like a black guy. Huh? Just like a black guy. Oh, there's the hair right there though. Wow, look at that hair. That's older shot, I think. He looks great. He's a good looking guy. He's got great hair. He's done it all. Wow. Yeah. He knows what he's talking about, good jawline. Yeah, look at that hair, man. Look at that hair. You know, he's handsome. He's got it. Yeah. He's awesome. Oh wow, I wonder why he cut it because I feel like that's a really good look for him. It really sets him apart from the herd. Yeah. Especially in Miami, like you meet this guy and you're like, whoa. Yeah. You don't look like every other guy in Miami. No, it's a real unique look. Yeah. Yeah, like I wonder why you switched that up. It's fucking incredible. It looks awesome. Keep going, Mike. Keep doing your thing. Look like Jesus right there. I know, he looks rad. Look at those eyes. He looks like a beautiful wolf. Wow. Oh wow. Yeah. Intense eyes, hungry eyes, dirty dancing. That's pretty cool. Me personally, I'm into receiving and it's generally, or I would say always in my case, tied with like domination. They're inseparable for me. I mean, it takes many forms. I guess, I mean, I enjoy the face sitting aspect. So like the closeness of that, which can be clothed, nude. I don't really have a specific preference as dumb as it might sound. I mean, I kind of prefer, at least in fantasy, the more potent smells. So I guess, you know, things that created gas that was smelly or really tied into the more torturous aspects of enjoying this. Well he likes the torture of the bad smell. But that makes sense the way he explained that. For me is not enjoying it. Like obviously I enjoy it because it is turning me on. But the fantasy is to be tormentous or being tortured. I mean, the strong scent is definitely like what I most reach for. I think it's also the hardest to obtain. The sound is also a factor for me just because the sound is illustrative of how dominating it is. He likes smelly farts. I feel like if I could just adopt his attitude, our marriage would be so much hornier because your farts are diabolical. No. And especially lately. Lately. Yeah. They're stinky. They're loud. They're disrespectful. I don't feel like you see me as a woman. I don't think you respect me. That's pretty, that's hurtful. Well, that's true. No. I just, I'm living life and I have been ingesting more protein and I think there's an effect on the way out. That's what you're referring to. But it's like all hours of the night. You'll rip. Yeah, at night it really is interesting, isn't it? Isn't it something? How at night it really comes alive. Because yesterday those were notable. Those are hurt. Let's walk through them. Okay. They have like, there's like a whole story told when they happen now. Because they go. Yeah. Yeah. But the first one was in the bathroom. You were standing by your room. I mean I was in the bathroom. I was at my sink. But my closet's right there. So I was trying to get dressed I think for a bad time. Something like that. Yeah. And it was like long rips, rips. But you wanted to pull me closer to you. No. And you were unfortunate the logistics of the whole thing. You pulled me towards you to enjoy it. And that's so fucking rude. I think you did. I don't believe that's true. I remember you walked by. Because I want to walk away and then you grabbed me. And then you went into your closet and you shut the door. You left this much open. All right. And you were like, no. And you shook your head. You were like, no. Yeah. It's just, I think there's a level of disrespect. Like there's an acceptable level of fart. And then that was unacceptable. It was pretty intense. I'll give you that. Tipped until like, come on. It was unexpected also. I don't think it is with you. I think you're lying. I didn't know what was going to happen. Well, this, by the way, this guy's name is Raj. He hosts a podcast called the Fart Fetish Podcast to normalize that within the kink community. He claims from a young age, can't pinpoint the exact moment, but he likes to believe it derives from a combination of his parents being open door poopers. His family growing up not shy to fart in public or around the house. He also believes it came from his parents being too neglectful. He has to pay for fart sessions. He favors a more potent smell when it comes to this. But it's all out there. It's wild, right? There he is. Oh, Raj, good for you. You know, but I'm sure there's a... Celebrating three years. There's a lot of guys out there that want this. And 36 episodes. He does an episode a month. I wonder what his parents think of the Fart Fetish Podcast. Well, also, as somebody that's a fart enthusiast, you'd think he'd want to talk more about it. I know, more than once a month. Yeah, like if it makes your D hard, why not? Talk about it every day. Every day. Yeah, at least once a week, you know? Because there's topics I can talk about, you know, all day. Are they farting? Talk about UFOs? Yeah, I love farts. Yeah, you really like UFOs. I love the UFO topic. You've really been taken by UAPs. I know. Yeah. Yeah. That's the age of disclosure too. I know. I know. Are you going to watch that doc? Yeah, but I already know it's bullshit. It's propaganda. Yeah. Man's trying to spread disinformation. I know what's really happening here. Uh-huh. Okay. Yeah. Interdimensional beings connected to our consciousness, trying to raise us, elevate us. It's not nefarious. Okay. All right, there she is. Oh, geez. No. Hey. Yeah. I'm going to break it. Yeah, I see what you're doing. Fart is there. Ooh. Pesa. Pesa? Eddie, what'd you think of that? Pesa. I just love it. It's great content that people put out these days. Pesa. It's always something that's always amazing. That's a whole lane. But there's no whole piece of bacon on a pizza. It's usually cut up into pieces. This is not accurate. What would you do if you saw your pizza delivery person pulling out a slice and farting out it? What would you say to them? I know. It's an interesting topic. She's like, here you go. She's gave it back. I might be like, dude, did you just fart on my pizza? I may have to confront. Yeah, I think. I'm not going to eat it. No. Would you eat it? No. I mean. Hold on. Ooh. Jesus. A lot of beef. Pesa. Yeah. Okay, but what if you're really, really hungry? Like you're starving and you're like, fuck, she's finally here. She's farting on my pizza right now? I might eat it. You might eat it? I might take the bacon off, but then eat the rest. Or just at least find that piece. Is this the one you farted on? Throw that. Yeah. But like, which one did you fart on? And I'm calling your manager, by the way. That's not okay. It's not okay. You'd rat them out. I wouldn't call their manager. She farted on your food. But then think of the benefit of that. You could make this person deliver food to people you dislike. Oh, and fart on their food? But they do it to everyone. They'd be like, yeah, I always do that. I fart on everyone's food. Well, it'd be like, well, can you put a little extra stank on this pizza for this neighbor? You know what I mean? Yeah. Like can you wipe your butt with the pizza on this delivery? Yeah. Like you can make them go fart on your pizza. Delivery. You can make them go farther than what they're capable of right now. True. Yeah. Like I'm looking to stretch this person's talents and abilities. Why limit yourself to just farting on a piece of bacon? You can go big with this. Yeah. Dude, this could be a legitimate service for fart fetish people. Like a fart donner's delivery. Yeah, higher. It's like Uber Eats, right? Yes. Now you're thinking like an entrepreneur. Will you pick up my food and fart on it and then bring it? Cheechabomba. No. Let's not pollute that. Thank you. But how much, okay, but do you hear me out? Hold on. Can I talk to you for a second? Yeah, no, you're talking. Go ahead. Like let's say you're a fart enthusiast, like this gentleman. And you're like, God, I would fucking love it if this chick showed up and farted on my pizza. How much do you think a dude would pay for that? Well, someone like the guy, I think he would definitely double and triple the amount. Okay, that's a great business. Double triple. I'd say $500 for that one delivery. Wow. And think how much more money you would make as an Uber Eats driver or whatever. Well, maybe you could do a thing where you just sign up for a legit business like Uber Eats or DoorDash. And then in your profile, you go like, you want me to add any seasoning? And then you just let them know that you'll do it if you tip right. Yeah. And then gay guys could have throat coat. Like they could deliver with throat coat on there. Oh my God. What? You don't think some dudes would love that? Yeah, sure. Yeah, I'm sure. Gay dudes love cheese. Yeah, they do. I know. It's their favorite thing. Yeah, they love it so much. It's weird. I don't want them to, if they're listening, I want them to hear it. Oh, they didn't hear that. No one heard it. No, right? No. Gay guys love cheese. I don't let them know. Yeah. I think they do. Yeah, that's true. That's crazy. It's a really good idea for a new business. If you're an entrepreneur and you're thinking, what's the market not providing? Exactly. We're seeing gaps in the space here. We found them. Hold space for me, Tom. I'm holding space. Here we go. All right, I'm filming. That's a good throw. Oh. Second. Oh my God. Oh my God. I was into the throwing. Yeah. He threw a rock at a hornet. I was like, what? I was like, what? I was like, what? I was like, what? I was like, what? He threw a rock at a hornet's nest. Oh, stupid. Yeah. And then they got him back. Of course, dude. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Hornets, bro? That guy's stupid. Yeah. I think he should have been ready to run quicker. Yeah. That was the issue. Yo, I would have thrown that first rock and then taken it. I'm filming. Yeah, don't wait, dude. Run. That's a good throw. You dipshit. Right there, you should be just booking it. Booking it, yeah, dude. Second. Idiot. That's a great screen. Yeah. Well, you deserve that. Why would you want to fuck up some hornets, dude? I know. It's just out there in nature. It's not like in the front of your house, right? Because I don't like it when they build stuff on our house. But that's different. But then you're like, get out of here, dude. You buy a stream. Yeah. That's where they're supposed to build, dummy. Yeah. That's rude as shit. Very rude. Hope he died. Hope he went into anaphylactic shock. Oh my God. Hope he's allergic to all. No. He's OK. Jesus. He's so careful. Well, I'm just hornet rights. Hornet rights. Yeah. Nobody's defending them and their needs. What do you think of this one? Yeah. No, I don't know. Whoa! Whoa! He survived? Whoa. Wow. Look, he's right now. You see that moment? Yeah. I've had that moment. Yeah, of course. Where you just stop and you're like, I'm fucking stupid, man. I could have just saw something. I could have just saw something in my life. I should be doing this. That was, can I see it again? Yeah. Dude, he just escaped death narrowly. Wow. I don't know about death, but it could have been real ugly. Look at that. Oh, it gets caught in his shirt. You know what he needs? Trauma shares. Oh. That's so relatable. I'm like, whew. God. Dude, that thing could have done the death row. It could have really done, it could have been real gnarly. Yeah. Cut his circulation. Yeah. Could have been gross. Yeah. He got lucky. He got lucky, man. That was a... That was terrible, baby. That was one of the more sobering ones that I just really empathized with him. It's like a near-death experience. That was terrible. Yeah. I didn't like that. No! No! The rolling around is what gets me. Did he chop his nuts? I mean, he landed on a steel beam. Yeah, but that's his fault. I mean, it's totally his fault, but you still are like, oh. I mean, all that force from like coming from up high. Let me see it again. Oh boy. I looked away at the pivotal moment. I mean, it's right on the nuts too. Stupid. Yeah, that's testicular trauma. Yeah. He might be going to the hospital, dude. That is fucking so gnarly. Well, dude, I mean... Because when they get grazed, it affects you. The full body weight. But he should have come on. I know, it was fucking stupid. This one was. He knows. He fucking knows. Maybe he liked it. Maybe he liked the fart fetish guy. I don't think he did. I think he's actually very, very disappointed in himself right now. Or he's in heaven. He's in ecstasy right now. Right now he's just rolling around. I'm about to come. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think so. I think he's not having a good day. His shoes flew off, dude. That's how fucking traumatic that was. Oh! No! I think he tore some ligaments. Yeah. I think that was real bad. Is that board broken? Yeah. The board's broken too. Fuck. God bless the skateboarders. I know. Because they just... What, babe? What's the injury? He did the splits? Yeah. So what is that? Terrible. He's torn his groin easily, yeah. It's really fucking... Your hips? Like did he like fuck up his hips? I mean there's only telling what he did. He did some damage to it. He fucked himself up. That sucked. Everyone's laughing too. Look at him smile on that guy. He's like, haha. Oh yeah, skaters are brutal. Recording him. Yeah. He's like, that was great, man. That's why skaters are the best. Yeah. They're like fucking pussy, get up. Yeah. Hey ladies, if you like a guy who likes to have fun in the shower, I'm your man. Okay, next. What do you mean next? You don't like to have fun in the shower? I do. I love fun in the shower. That's what he just said. Do you like to have fun in the shower? I'm your man. But I don't like... I don't want to do it with him. Why? I want to have fun in the shower with you. Oh, with me? Yeah. Do you like fun in the shower? Yeah, but I feel like I'm not your man. I feel like that's your man. I like that he had the volume full blast. Full blast. That's the way to do it. What is he watching? Is that interesting? Hey ladies, if you like a guy who likes to have fun in the shower, I'm your man. That's a comedy. Yeah. He's watching some sitcom. Yeah, there's a lap track going real loud. Yeah. My only advice would just be turn the volume down on the TV. Oh, for sure, because everything else was fine. Yeah. The air is horrible, the white walls are depressing. Mm-hmm. Why is his nose so red? I'm surprised he didn't go, forgive me, I have a cold right now. Like, you know, when people do that, we know, we can tell. Well, apparently he puts out videos like this a lot. Mm-hmm. To ladies. Show me the hand gesture to me. To ladies. To ladies. To ladies. And I'm just supposed to scoop it. I'm your man. I like it. I really like it. This is the kind of shit you love right here. Yes. Go. Skyler Renee has returned. Skyler Renee returns. I could do this in a second. You like this. I would love to train just to get this fit to beat the shit out of dudes. Yeah. I think this would be awesome. I love this. I love it. I'm all in. Yeah. Would you let me do this? You like ball kicks though. I'm Astrodomia and I'm about to kick his ass. I don't like this guy. I don't like this fucking guy. No? Morrissey. Big fat Morrissey here. Jesus. I don't like him. Now, he's too pathetic. Here's the thing with me. The guy can't be super pathetic. He has to be able to fight back. That guy could fight back. I know, but in the visual domain, it's not appealing. So you want it to be a more fit guy? Like the other one before? I could be like, okay, this is somebody that there's a little danger here. Oh, that's what you want. Oh, I thought it was just to be like, just to be abusive and brutal. But it can't be to a frail guy. Hold on. You don't want to punch down. Sometimes. But I mean, I feel like it's too easy if it's like a frail pussy guy. It's got to be somebody that's a challenge. That's interesting. Because you always tell me that you like the ball. You're like, I could always do a ball kicking thing. I could kick balls. But you don't want it to be a pathetic guy. Correct. Because then what's the fun? They're all the same guy. You're kidding. Morrissey is the same guy. Just different haircuts and stuff. That's boring. Well, there's not a lot of guys that are like, yeah, I'll do this video. They found one. I just don't like them when they're so frail and pathetic. Really? Because what's the fun? Yeah. Like a five-year-old could kick the nuts. I get it. I didn't realize this. It's an interesting. Well, I'm just now thinking about it, you know? Yeah. I haven't thought about it. We got it. Can I pinch real quick? I'm sorry. I really got a whiz hard. Because I drink the two bags of tea. And we're back. And we're back. How was your pee? It was powerful. How was yours? It was pretty good. Yeah, I went ahead and did it too. Let me ask you something. Sure, go ahead. What do you think about Hitler? Well, I got some news for you. Adolf Hitler won a local election in Namibia. Oh, wow. Adolf Hitler Yunona, a 59-year-old local politician in northern Namibia, just won re-election for his seat as counselor of Ompunja constituency for a fifth consecutive term. Although his name echoes that of the Nazi dictator, he has long stressed that he has no ideological or personal ties to that legacy. His father reportedly gave him the name without understanding its historical weight. Ahead of this election, he formally removed Hitler from his official documents and now just goes by Adolf Yunona. Well. Fifth re-election. People are like, I love this guy. Yeah, he's the one for me. I like it. Ted, I like his name to be honest. Hitler. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. I'm going to take out the Hitler. Why not change the Adolf? You know, I've changed my name legally. I love that the dad was like, wait, what's this all about? I've never heard of this. There's a problem with this guy's name? What? I always liked it. It has a nice ring to it. I mean, look, full disclosure. Yeah. We're out here in western Europe doing our thing. Maybe they didn't hear about it over there. Yeah, in Africa. You don't think it reached that far? Maybe not, dude. I don't know. He's like, big fan. That's just a smooth name. Because it's illegal to name your child that here. Here isn't illegal? America, I think so, isn't it? I would say it's illegal. I don't know if it's illegal. In Germany, it for sure is. They outlawed that after, you know, who came and ruined stuff. Yeah. Yeah, let's see. You're not allowed to in Germany. You cannot name a child Adolf Hitler in Germany. It's German law. It's protected, right? What about in the US? I mean, I think you can. I think you can. Yeah, what about my rights? Let's see. It is not universally illegal to name your child Hitler in the United States. Some states may reject it based on prohibitions against offensive or derogatory names. Germany and New Zealand have explicitly banned the name. I mean. So, interesting. State by state, I guess it goes by here. Texas is probably a no-Hitler zone. Yeah, that's what it says actually. Example, a Texas official might reject the name due to prohibitions against offensive names. What if you're like, what's offensive about it? I know. What? My favorite Namibian counselor is named Adolf Hitler. That's true. What if it's not about the original? Yeah, what about this guy? I'm a big fan. I'm a huge fan. I bet California will let you. Just one of his fifth re-election. You think New York, California, you can name your kid Hitler? I wonder. Let's look. Which states allow you to name your child Adolf Hitler? Bama. Louisiana. They're like, we'll pay you to do it. What states can you name? In your kid. Hitler. That's two bags of different flavors to use. It is likely legal to name your child Adolf Hitler, but there are no federal laws banning it. Let's see. All right. Some states have banned it. Texas is one such state. Yeah, there's not a list. Here's the thing. Why don't you try it? If you have to have a kid, you don't give it a shot. See what they tell you. See if you can get away with it. It's a really cool experiment to run. Somebody's doing it right now. You think so? In Alabama, a baby was born. And they were like, Hitler. Yep. I liked that guy in the podcast. He was like, you know who I'd want to hang out with? All right. He's a kick of beer. He was fucking told and burned all the trans books and shit. He wasn't a bad guy. I'd like to fish with him. Yeah. There's people that feel that way. Yeah, that wasn't New York. I'll tell you that. You're too surrey, Bob. Yeah. The New Jersey couple loses custody of their son named Adolf Hitler. That's interesting. The New Jersey parents who gave their children Nazi-inspired names, including Adolf Hitler, lost custody after a state appeals court ruled that a history of domestic violence puts the children at risk of abuse and neglect. Court documents show the oldest child frequently threatens to kill people. And the mother once slipped a note to a neighbor saying she was terrified of her husband because he said he would kill her. Adolf Hitler Campbell four and his two younger sisters, Jocelyn Arian Nation Campbell and Hanselin Himmler Jeanne Campbell will remain in the care of the division of family Jesus. Their parents, Heath and Deborah, both unemployed and disabled, were abused as children. Neither has received adequate treatment for their serious psychological conditions. I mean, what I hate about this is it's really tarnishing the Hitler name. Right. You know? Ann Himmler. Ann Himmler and the Arian Nation. They gave her the name Arian Nation. Which if you didn't know what it meant. Also they didn't do, they did a name that sounds like Hans Himmler. It's Hanselin Himmler. Oh, let's see. Hanselin, so maybe it's a girl. Right, but like his name was Hans Himmler. Again, but they feminized it. They feminized it to be like, it's not the same thing. Hanselin Himmler Jeanne Campbell. Yeah, I think I'd go by Jeanne. I think as Jocelyn I might drop my middle name, but poor Adolf has no hope. Jesus. Adolf Hitler Campbell. Yeah. God damn man. Your parents are just fucking wild. Joyce Lynn Arian Nation Campbell. Well there you go. Jersey lets it fly. Yeah. They did it in New Jersey. If you're a Jersey native, name your kid whatever you want. Congratulations, you're free. Yeah. Three year old Hitler can't get a name on a cake. This guy's the same guy. They make the news a lot. They make the news a lot. It's actually him there. There's Heath on the left, Deborah on the right, and there's Adolf. There's baby Adolf in the middle. Fucking sweet. He's like, well I can't get a cake. Babe, do you ever think about just like how the completely mentally insane parade around all of us? If I saw this photo I'd be like, oh what a nice little. I just was watching that the other day. Scrolling. It was a woman on the street interviewing a guy. Like, she's like, what are you up to today? Like one of those street interviews? And he was completely mentally ill but well presenting. And you go, oh that's everywhere. Like he went on a insane rant where you could tell that like she was scared, anyone listening would have been scared. And he was button down, collared shirt, like just well presenting and was unhinged. Just somebody put a microphone in his face. God damn dude. It was real crazy. It was really crazy. They just walk among us, these people. Yeah. Hitler, he walks among us too. He walks. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty cool. Here's a fun one. I don't know if you'd know about this story. An Italian man dressed up as his dead mother in order to claim her pension. Very cool. This is an Italian man for Borgo, 56 year old former nurse, is under fraud and an investigation for concealing a corpse after allegedly dressing up as his, look at him right here. That's him on the right, dressing up like mom. He looks just like her. He looks like mom. I think he did a great job. He did. He was lucky that his mom had that hair. Yeah, and that face. Yeah. She didn't have much work done. He wore a wig, makeup, clothes, jewelry, even used a cane when visiting the local registry to renew her ID. The charade collapsed when a clerk at the registry office noticed physical inconsistencies and became suspicious. Authorities say that the scam netted roughly 53,000 euro per year, combining the pension and the income from his family's properties. Now he's facing charges that include fraud, false identity, document, fortress, and consent. But don't you think if you're a man and you go through the trouble to dress up like your mother, go down to the office, pull the heist, give him the money? Yeah. Who cares? Yeah. I'll send him to jail. That is kind of silly. You found it. This is the one I was talking about. I'm confused because, you know, like we're supposed to believe in the ministry, right? So is the church and state supposed to be separate? I'm confused because I never went to school, right? Is a confused person get a resolution? I don't understand. You see, when you go like that, right, you have a cross, two sticks, right? And that's how I felt when I was in Waterloo. Because when I walked in Waterloo and smiled at people, they treated me like a vampire. They used the cross and they went like this by not smiling at me. In Toronto. Hey, you know me, Steve Spiros? Easy going? Those who know me, I'm a nobody. You understand? And you can't kill a person with no body. So why am I afraid? I'm not afraid. I'm afraid of the boogie man. Who's the boogie man? You figure it out. Wow, this is really going. I'm getting out of here. I'm going back to Waterloo where the vampire is hanging out. And I'm going to wear my sunglasses that night. You know why? Because women show their tits, have short skirts, and then they feel violated when I look at them. Why? Because I have sunglasses on and I'm weird. I'm from Humberside. I'm sorry if I made a fool of Humberside, but all those people who called me a sleepwalker, I woke up. Now I'm going back to sleep because I'm going to be committed in an isolation room because I'm going to go back to the ministry and allow them to perceive me as I am. I'll fuck up. Goodbye. Good day, sir. Hey, Toronto the good. Look at this square. It was a shit hole when I worked here. Now it looks like New York, Manhattan. Yeah. Where are the bums? There's no bums here. Toronto doesn't have bums. Waterloo, they're creating bums. They created me. Why? He's a vampire. I don't know. They treat him like a vampire. Maybe it's the church. Talk to the pope. He knows everything. I had it. I'm going to die. How can you die when you're dead? I had it. Tom. But you get it. But look what I mean though. If you saw him. Wait, just be honest with me. Yeah. Is this what I sound like when I talk about aliens? I mean, you know, parallel. Yeah. Wait, but how did he get dressed? Like who got him out the door? That's my point. How does he look normal? And how many out there are similar? Oh my, he just didn't take his meds. I have a feeling he just was off his meds. You think so? Yeah, he went psychotic. But if you take your meds, you can walk among us. But if you stop. Yeah. Can't skip your meds. No dude. That's probably what happened. He's like, I feel good. You need to take him. Yeah. Oh shit. I'm not going to raise my voice. No, don't. Because I'm committed. I'm going to be crucified, right? I'm not going to raise my voice. She's like what? Yeah, she went through a lot of emotions, you could tell. And she surrendered at the end. And she was like, get this guy safe. Yeah. People start looking at the ladies over there noticing him. Yeah. They're like, what is going on? Also it's like all those buttons are gone now. I thought about that too. He doesn't know how to sew them back. No way. He's got to walk around like that now. Yeah. It was such a strong choice. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, don't ruin the shirt, bro. Don't ruin your shirt, man. That was a nice shirt. Yeah, because yeah, right. Now he's got to go home on the subway. Ah, open shirt. Be treated like a vampire. Also he said there's no bums in Toronto. I would very much disagree. Really? There's no bums in Toronto? Have you been recently? I mean, I was there, yeah, earlier in the year. What was the bum stitch? No, it's just it's a major city. It has bums like anywhere else. Dude, Toronto is where I saw that topless woman with her fucking flapjacks out. No. Yeah, dog. Wait, you're talking about the big titty swingers? Yeah. That was in New York, but she didn't. She had a shirt on. I'm talking about, I was in Toronto in a car. Oh, with tits out? And she was just walking with a handbag on and her chachis hanging out. Right out. And I was like, I'm going to the driver. I go, is this, am I seeing this? Right? He goes, yeah, you're allowed to do that in Toronto. There's no laws against it. It's protected. If you're a native person or something, you can be topless. It sounds very progressive, which is very Canadian. Oh, yeah. It's like, you know, why can't I? That guy's got his tits out. Yeah. Yeah. Which like, I don't think is a big deal. I've never thought it was a big deal. I don't want to show my chachis. But you should have the right to. I think so. I think anyone's going to be like, oh my God. Your torso, I mean, it should be fine. Yeah, men or women. And it would make walking much easier. Do you see how all this stem though? Like you're like, oh, and then he was like, women wearing their clothes and they're mad because I'm looking. It always goes back to like a guy being like some chick rejected me. And God. Yeah. God is forsaking me. Yeah. And women are the devil. Women are wearing short shorts and I look and they get mad. Yeah. Everything stems to that. That's the religion. I'm always afraid of women. Yeah. Well, speaking of. Making us horny and stuff. Yeah. One of your favorites was in the news not long ago, Megan Markle. Oh, yeah. She faced online criticism after posting a Thanksgiving cooking video in which she prepared a raw turkey while wearing rings and bracelets. In the clip, she's seen seasoning the turkey, rubbing it with spices and lemon zest to the tune of Bob Dylan's Turkey Chase, captioning it with, let the game begin. Social media users wasted no time mocking her. The hygiene. Many dubbed her the Salmonella Sussex criticizing her for not removing jewelry while handling raw poultry. I mean, who has I'd leave my rings on when I do poultry. I don't think that's a big sin. You know what I think is a bigger crime are like these banal basic captions. Let the game begin. Like that to me is more of a spiritual crime. Is that the clip there? Oh, God. Just a screenshot. That's a story. Oh, I just don't understand why. Is there more there? Tom, explain to me the joys of conformity. Like, why does everyone have to show? How basic bitch they are. It's like a basic bitch contest, right? Like, look how I'm doing the thing everyone else is doing. I don't know. There's nothing fun. I mean, that one's reaching. I wouldn't call her. I feel like for this, her whole thing is she's trying to build a brand like her brand normal chick brand. She's trying. It seems like she's trying to be the like the house. Yes. The domestic queen, right? Like the old Martha Stewart kind of lane of like, here's how I do my garden. Here's how I prep the kitchen. Here's how I do. Oh, this is it. There you go. Yeah, but she's not the expert. That this is the big problem. Right. Is that there's there's nothing special she's giving. Yeah. There's no knowledge, new knowledge. I don't know enough about prepping poultry. I guess what are you supposed to just have no jewelry on? That's what they're saying. That's what I guess you should wear gloves. I think in a perfect world, but like I cook with my rings on. Big deal. I wash them with soap and water. Yeah. All right. What are you going to do? They think, look, as much as I dislike this woman's personality, I think this one's a little. There you go. You know, she's a little phony baloney. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She's doing those like one of my favorite things to do in the holidays is celebrate with family and the voice. What better way to celebrate the family than with the family turkey. I go out to my garden and then I have to go to meetings and it's like, what are we doing? What's the order going to be? Are we stocking enough items? It's really exhausting. Yeah. So tiring being an entrepreneur and a full time mother. You know, like that kind of like you're not. We know you're not, babe. You have a staff. Yeah, you're fine. But let's not pretend. I'll tell you who doesn't have a staff. This guy. But I don't do crack. I was just do crack. You do PCP. God damn. Oh, PCP. God damn right. And don't fuck with me when I'm on. Yeah. Get fucked up. Yeah. Why? Because you can't feel she. That's right. That's why I like it because it gets you fucked up for real. Crack this bullshit. It's a hit or miss. It might be good. It might not be good. PCP gets you fucked up every single motherfucking time. And I only hit the shit about five times. I don't sit there smoking a whole cigarette. I don't get stuck at all that bullshit. Animal, please. I don't want to hear anything. Animal. You never do. That's why you hung up. Animal. But I've always. Your nickname is animal. It's amazing. Within family. It's amazing. Animal, shut up. Here's the deal. Animal, I don't want to hear that shit. I've always wondered the difference between PCP and crack. Yeah. Well, he just kind of laid it out for you. I never knew that. Have you ever done PCP? No. No. Can we get PCP anymore? I feel like they don't. You can get it. What is it? PCP, that's angel dust. That's like. Oh, yeah. That's when you see like a guy fighting 13 guys. I love PCP. Can you imagine running into this clown after he fucking smoked five fucking hits of PCP? Like what? Where is it from? What is it a plant? It's a hallucinogen. And yeah, dude. Disassociative anesthetic, right? I don't know. That sounds awesome. Yeah. See, I'm on his team with this. I think PCP sounds fucking way good. Dude, PCP, that's literally when you see like one guy in 20 cops. That's PCP. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was bigger in the 80s. I remember there were always been new stories in LA about a guy high on PCP, like lifting cars, fighting cops. That's what it is, dude. So here is users often experience the feeling of being detached from their body and surroundings, false sense of strength and disability, anxiety, paranoia, delusions, hallucinations, disordered thinking can lead to bizarre, aggressive, violent behavior. Physical symptoms include body numbness, slurred speech, loss of coordination, dizziness, increased heart rate and blood pressure, sweating and rapid involuntary eye movements. Animal is on it. He knows. I mean, I like the first two things. You get, you get super strong. Yeah. You get a little chaotic. You think you're super strong. That's cool. That's what happens. People are like, I am the Hulk. Yeah. Yeah. Do bodybuilders work out on PCP? Fuck no. No way, dude. I think they should. No. Well, what's it for them? I mean, people lose their goddamn minds on this. It's like a super hallucinogen. Yeah. So in order, in addition to the Uber Eats. Guys named animals. Smoking. Yeah. We need to open a gym where we give them PCP. Yeah. You just have weights thrown through the walls. And probably just dead bodies everywhere. It's real crazy. Yeah. Dude, the PCP gym would be so fucking rad. Yeah. It would be cool. Just open your heart and your arms to me. Smoke some, smoke some dust. Well, hold on. But what does crack do? You want to get wet? That's what it's called. Because they dip it. They dip the cigarettes. You want to get wet? Yeah. But what does crack make you feel? Because that's cocaine and rock for it. I mean, it's a super high. It's supposed to be like a very intense short high, which is like the real problem is that it goes away and people's mind gets altered forever. And then they just want to get back on that high. And it makes you paranoid as shit too. It's not like. It's not good. There's no super strength. There's no super strength. You're just high as fuck. Can you please look up what crack does to you? Sure. I'd like to know the difference specifically. Crack. It's cocaine. What does it make you feel like? Last for 15 minutes. Yeah. The effects. OK, blood pressure, your blood pressure goes up. Your heart races. You might lose your inhibitions about doing things like spending lots of money or stuff they don't really need on stuff they don't really need. They may start to feel angry or paranoid. So it sounds like your inhibitions completely go. Yeah, which could be awesome. Fucking great, dude. Yeah. You get a huge dose of dopamine. Yeah, you feel good when. Yeah. Yeah. So the only thing that sucks is you're going to lose your money and you get paranoid. Yeah. But for a intense pleasure. Yeah, sudden confidence. Burst of energy and alertness sounds like a good way to start the day. Oh, yeah. Hyper focused talkativeness, agitation, restlessness. Yeah, the main the main high usually last five to ten minutes followed by a sharp drop. That's the problem with crack. And that's why you got to get a lot of it. Yeah, you're going to start smoking crack. Don't just buy one rock. Dude, buy a whole bag. Buy a lot of crack. Well, let's think about how many rocks you'd want. If it's five to ten, ten being on the longer end. Dude, for one hour, that's six rocks. Yeah, so I would get like 40, 50 rocks to start. At least. So you can like hold up for a couple of days. You know. Are you eating when you're high on this shit? Probably not. You're not sleeping. You're not eating. Look at that. A.I. didn't like to give you. Oh, they won't tell you. Crack information. Yeah, stupid. What's the price of a crack rock? Yeah, I can't help you with that. I think it's cheap. I'm going to venture to guess that a crack rock is cheap. Yeah, I think so too. Right. Yeah. Cocaine is not. No, but it's cooked down for crack. So maybe what, ten, twenty bucks or something for like a rock. For a fun night. Let's do the math on the how much you have a fun night on. Like twenty five a gram. A gram? Mm hmm. It's on that. How many rocks are we buying? Sixty? Yeah, you got to have your money ready. If you don't get into crack, if you're broke. No. Get a good job, save up your money, buy a bunch of crack and then have fun. Yeah, I agree. That's the problem is that poor people like drugs. You should be rich person. There you go. And then you'll keep your money. You won't be broke. Duh. You want to hear a nice story before we wrap up? Always. I have a cool story to share with you. All right, here we go. My wife's sister, Hudson, passed my wife's sister about eight months ago. Leonard's wife's sister. And she. You know, talked to me the other day. And she says she haven't had sex since Leonard died. I know where this is headed. And asked me, no, can I come over and help out? You know, because she says she still have needs and she don't want to, you know, mention about it. She don't know. Yeah. Right. I know she never had anything to do with me before, but she says she feel comfortable. Yeah. Because she knows you know me. Yeah. So I told her I have to talk to my wife and see what she said about that. Because I want to get caught up in that, you know, that's my wife's wife's sister. Yeah. I talked to my wife and she's so crazy about her sister. You know, she's doing things for a damn sister. So yeah, I kind of figured she's going to say yeah, anyway, because yeah, it's not an assistant, you know, they're really tight. Yeah, they're just yeah. And so but she told me once I go without, you know, just, you know, take it easy with her. Take it easy with her. Don't be hanging around the house and just go over there. Do what you got to do and bring your black ass back home. Oh, wow. So and don't be, you know, turning out, making a fall in love with you. Just give her a little something that's all over. So she took she out, called you again. What a lucky lady. Now I want you to go every time I look around. You got my issues go over there. I said, no, you don't like that. That's just so sorry. I respect you, you know. Yeah. I'm just, you know, coming to you. She came to me. Ask me to help out. Yeah. She haven't had sex in eight months. Cause if I miss eight days, I might be dead. I'm out to talk to her something, though, you know, charger. That's a service, you know, I'm going to give her a service. Yeah. So I may have to charge a little something. So I think I'm a good price. I can charge him. I wonder maybe $300. I guess that's a little too cheap, though. But $300. So I don't break me. I read Robinville. Yeah. I think $300 fair price. All right, I'm done with this. Call my service. For my service. What do you think? I want to see a picture of the whole crew. You do? I don't think it's attractive. You don't think that this is enough of a peek into the group we're talking about? I mean, look, we've always. Stress the importance of teeth on this show. Then if there's not one thing we learn from your mom's house is fix your god damn teeth. No, maybe take those payments you're going to be getting. Yeah. Service and get your two fees kind of realigned. Bro, they're all over the place. At the least. Clean your glasses. Ate a grenade. It's crazy. Yeah, I did. Just like a cartoon. They're a fucking insane. Yeah. No. My wife says to her husband, Landon passed away bad. I say to my wife, you know, she created that. She has nothing. He's just such a mess. He is a mess. But I don't believe it. I wonder if the wife loves that he shared this with the world. Oh, I mean, like if she did grant him this, that he's she's like, you fucking had to put that on social media. He's so stoked. And there's no way the wife was like, sure, go fuck my sister. She loves his thing. You know what I'm saying? Anything. Don't be. I'm making her. Don't turn around. Make her fall in love with you. Oh, please. Yeah. A woman said that. Yeah. Don't. Don't don't be doing what you normally do and have her fall in love with you. Oh, yeah, you big sweet. Sweet treat. It's sweet looking ladies, man. He's got acting like he's fucking Idris Alba, whatever. It's going over there. So hot. Tim. Yeah. If your brother needed it, may I? Yeah, fuck yeah. I mean, he said, just get like 300 bucks. 300 bucks. I like that he was like, that's cheap for what I'm doing. For what he's doing. Like my going rate, 700, but I'm gonna do it for my sister-in-law. I mean, you can only see his wife, sister-husband passed away. His chins. What does his body look like? There's no way he can even get up out of the chair. Yeah, he's in the lazy boy. He's leaning back. He has no teeth. He can't fuck. He can't fuck. No, there's no way this guy's fucking. I bet you he can fuck. I bet you he would he would show. He'd be like, why don't you man come on out? Can I in all sincerity, though, can a man this out of shape fuck? Well, to some degree, yeah, I don't think it's going to be top tier. Exemplary. Right. No, I think it's going to be something else. Like a winded. Yeah, laying down on his back. Yeah. It's like Bill Cosby. It's gnarly. Yeah. All right. Here's some of your tiktoks. Oh, fuck yeah, dog. Fuck that shit. Damn, I'm tired now. Fuck this shit. Way so wrong, man. Damn, you a-gonna got the motherfucking. Motherfucking break it. Tame it. Tase this soda. Why the fuck you keep doing shit like that to me? I was testing my brakes, man. I've seen this account. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's great. I know you like it. I do love it. Guys get mad. Oh, this guy, this guy tortures him all day. That's all he does. It's great. Fucking bad news, everybody. Fucking, I guess Cassie's sick of my shit. Dude, I came home. She fucking put all my stuff on the fucking yard. Yeah. Fucking says I gotta fucking leave. So, I don't know if someone can come pick me up, give me a fucking ride, take my shit to their fucking pad and fucking just store it for a fucking couple weeks till I get my fucking shit back in fucking in order. Like fucking, you know, pay you and rent and fucking records. There's fucking punk or shit in there and fucking stereo shit, fucking guitars. He's got it. Fucking just, you know, fucking hit me up, dude, fucking trade my drum set or fucking. OK. Well, you see, he's got a lot of drums. Got a lot of vocabulary, too. It's really interesting. Drums and a cacti. Yeah. So Cassie's sick of his shit. Well, of course, his stuff takes up too much space. Yeah. Cactuses and drum kit. It's like, bad fucking news. Fucking. I like that he's putting it out to his followers. Somebody come pick up my shit, store it. I'll pay you in. He's I'll pay you a rent or like in vinyl. That's cool. I do it for some good records. I would. I'd store his shit. I think he probably likes the same shit you like. I think he does. That's why I'm kind of now I'm curious. So can I hit him up for those records? Hey, man, you still need that storage? Yo, is Cassie still getting you down, bro? Wow. Fucking what you do, man? Cassie's all mad. I'll store that bin of gray shit. Give me that record, bro. Yeah, dog. I wish Sam's club sold bed sheets in bulk because I keep squirting through mine and starting to feel like I'm sleeping on a goddamn slip and slide. A slip and slide? What? Oh, that doesn't turn you on. Tom, you don't want to fuck her. That doesn't make you excited. She's talking about shitting. She's shitting. Nam, she's talking about her puss. No, she's squirting that arrasal. She's squirting. You know, like a flip and slide. Yeah. No, she's kind of hot. I'll give it to you. She is pretty hot. Don't you think it's hot that she has no teeth? Yeah, I like it. Yeah. It was hot. She can really give you, you know what? I know. You can say it. Yeah. Nouth kisses on your peepee. Be nice. Yeah. Good morning, sweetheart. Oh. I hate hearing a smile, don't you? Yeah, that was... Hearing it? Interesting camera work. Of course. He's always doing that. He's taking you down to the angle he wants to see you at. That's kind of nice. Good morning, sweetheart. If you have to poop, do not hold it in. I said what I said. You say it again. Yeah, sage advice. But, you know, you do have to tell children that because our sons will go... You think this is for children? It's just for anybody who needs it, Tom. Yeah. If you got a poop, go sit down and poop. Don't hold it in. Yeah. But a lot of people do. I know you. I got to take a dump and then I'll go, OK, we'll go. No, I'm going to wait. Let's drive around Santa Barbara. Remember that? You drove around for 45 minutes. I know. Well, I just wanted to show you something. You should. Yeah. Do she sounding cringe words? I don't even know what episode this is. First one for today. Remember before we start, it's the sound of the word, not what it's actually describing that usually pisses me off. OK. Number one for today, jot. Like when you jot something down, fucking hate that. Yeah, I hate jot. Impromptu. I think our youngest son is going to be doing videos like this pretty soon. I get everything he's saying. I feel everything he's saying. He doesn't like these sounds. There's so many words I don't like. I don't like. Moist. Everyone has that. It's disgusting. I've never had a problem with moist. Even you saying it's terrible. I think that's so bizarre. I don't like the word yurt. Yurt. A yurt is disgusting. Who uses yurt? It's it's in folklore. It's in stories. OK. Native Americans. You don't read Native American literature. I do. I have nearly as much as you should. There's your fucking yurt. OK. For today. Impromptu. I hate that word. You do too. Number three for today is. French hot cocoa. Yeah. I don't know if I'm going to get through this. Just call it fucking hot chocolate man. It's stop with the. Oh I know. This dude is like on the verge of a heart attack. No. This is how I feel too. When I hear can I tell you what I really hate? Yeah. What I really hate. Tell me. When people call it their tummy. I have tummy troubles. Yeah. You like tummy. Well there's a few organs. There's a stomach. There's your intestines. There's your uterus. There's all kinds. What are you coming. You get tummy. It's very juvenile. Yeah. I might have. We're having tummy troubles. Like just. OK. You just call it what it is. Your stomach. The phrase. Well because I don't understand what your ailment is. Are you shitting. But it's also like a for a child. It is for a child. Yeah. Are you shitting. Are you bleeding. Yeah. Or does your stomach hurt. Those are three different ailments. I have a tummy. My tummy. I have a tummy ache. Fuck you. Yeah. Fuck your tummy. Our fourth one is non-negotiable. Oh. I hate that one. I like that one. And last for today. Yeah. The worst. Fashionista. Oh. Whatever the fuck that is. Is that fashion police. I hate that too. Or somebody who. Fashionists. Dresses. Fashionably. I like that he's aggravated. Yeah. I. It's very endearing. And yeah I've said this before. I hate impactful. I think that's a dumb fucking word. I always thought that was weird of you. I hate impactful. I thought that's very weird of you. Stupid. No. Stupid. That's so bizarre. Such a crazy. It's a new made up word. I don't like new words. Excuse me. Oh yes. Do I need an excuse. Is that the frame I want to set. Excuse me. I need an excuse. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You're apologizing for talking. You need to apologize. I'm sorry to bother you. You're framing yourself as a bother. Excuse me. I'm sorry to bother you. But I was wondering if I could ask a question. Don't ask to ask. State. He's right. So all that is wrong. That is the wrong way to frame yourself as a high valued male when you meet another person. Where's that hat coming from? Play. Like is that part of this too? I'm sorry to bother you, but I bought this hat. Would you tell me if you like it. His Russian Svetlana hat. That is an insane fucking hat. No, the hat is. But that's his. But he's all about that. He's like where the thing that someone goes the fuck is up with that. Yeah. Peacocking. I think he calls. It's like his flair. He's like chicks dig flair. And he's not wrong. He's not wrong because it is a conversation starter. Right. It's a conversation starter and it shows. Oh, this guy's got confidence. Yeah. It's a weird confidence signal. Because like, oh, he doesn't carry. Paints his nails black. He must be really self confident. Yeah. He didn't get the fuck about shit. He didn't get the fuck about my shit, bro. Yeah, that's a good point. Good point. Good to see you, mystery. I really did love you, you know. I still do. I dare to say I loved you more than anyone else has. Oh my god. Or ever will. Oh. I think what makes me most uncomfortable is that he looks like me. I showed you that. I'm sure. Oh my god. Yeah. A little. You're way more masculine. He's more feminine looking. Well, he's rubbing himself. Well, that's kind of strange. Is he talking to a girl or a boy? We don't know. We don't want to know. God damn. Put that stare into the camera. I think that's the thing that makes me the most uncomfortable. When I see the cringe videos, it's the one where they're like. Oh, I stop. And I know it's so hard. It's so hard. But you know what's even more off-putting is the filter that he used to make his eyelashes sparkle on these. That's an eye filter. That's what chicks do. That's a glamour filter. I hate it. Do you think he's going through it right now? That's why he posted this, like he's going through it. Well, this is a good question because I always wonder, when I'm really going through something, the last place I want to be is online. I'll go dark. What happens is, some people, I need some input. I need some type of validation. So then those people can put the camera on themselves when they're crying. Are they emotional? We're all, yeah. It's pretty split. Half the population goes, I would rather die. Do something like this. Other die. And then other ones are like, oh, this is what I love to do when I'm feeling it, when I'm going through it. Yeah. Yeah, because some people aren't embarrassed about publicly going through it. Yeah. But this is like horny. So like, yeah, this is a, yeah. Like, I think horny going through it is more cringy than like depra- Yeah. Because he's also putting it out there for the other women who are like, You're assuming it's women. Or other people who are like, she dumped you or he dumped you. I would gladly take their place. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what this is really about. I can't believe someone left you. You're so hot. He's fishing for the good feelings. Yeah, of course. Putting it out there. Yeah. Shut the f*** up. You're sitting in the police transport van after a protest? Shut the f*** up in a holding cell with your comrades? Shut the f*** up. Cop knocks on your door? Shut the f*** up. Texting on an unsecured device? Shut the f*** up. Pull over by the cops after a protest? Shut the f*** up. Cop just asking about your day? Shut the f*** up. Feds call your mom? Tell your mother to shut the f*** up. Now, repeat after me. When the cops come calling, what do you do? Shut the f*** up. I mean, he is so right. This is the best. This should be played on the news. This should be on television all the time. I know. This is exactly right. This is good advice. If you're listening right now, it's funny, but it is true. It's true because we, I mean, you have a bit about it on the first 48. It's like, nobody goes, I want to speak to my lawyer. Yeah. Which is the first f***ing thing you should say and don't talk to them. Don't talk to the cops. They'll use it against you. Never. Even if you're like, I didn't do anything. Shut up. Shut up. Yeah. Because they'll f***ing twist it or I don't know. Well, yeah, you just got to keep your f***ing mouth shut. You got to keep your f***ing mouth shut. They in my life, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Every clown knows that, right? They always know to shut the f*** up. Right? Why are you shaking your head? I'm so close. I'm not no one's getting close. What are you close to what? What are you talking about? I see the letters in your head. Oh, stop. I see it. Oh, stop. And I know which one's coming first. Oh, okay. It's a big one. No. Right in the front of your mind. I see it. You're out of your mind. I saw them when we were starting ads yesterday. Oh, stop. You're getting all smiley because you're thinking of it. I know what you're thinking of. You're spelling it out. Oh, my God. You're crazy. I love the nose though. That is a very, very nice touch thing. You know what? I bet you do. I love clowns. I love clowns too. I love clowns. I love all people. I've never had a problem with clowns. Never had a problem with clowns. Different colored clowns, clowns of all sizes, of all religions, clowns of all creeds. Yeah. All the clowns in the world. Pull up your pants. Tie your Tim's. Stop being a clown. Wow. Wow. That's a specific look to these clowns. That's just crazy. Crazy thing is he just typed clowns. Did you just type in clowns? No. It was listening to us. Why are these clowns so one type of clown? I don't like that. Shout out to Google. Shout out to Google. Yeah. How does Google know that we are talking about clowns? Huh. That's really interesting. Well, yeah, this was great. It was great, Tom. It was really fun. We learned about safety. Safety is real important. The garage, lock in your garage, disabling the fobs, getting a bolt. Or just taking that piece of rope off. Just take the string off. Take the string off. Keep a flashlight on you at all times. You don't want to fumble through your phone. Look at that. Where's the flashlight button? We're a vest. Boom. We're a vest. Boom. Yeah. Scan a room and a parking lot for right to left between eight to 10 seconds from five yards and then go to 25 yards. Get a feel for the area. Yeah. Yeah. Get a feel. Get? Be safe out there. Let it go. Let it go. Are you farting? No. I was just adjusting, moving in my chair. But this was a lot of fun. We will see you clowns next week. Take care and turn your music down for Christ's sake. We'll see you next week. You say that I'm a false blood. Kenny, take it away. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom.