Sarah Colonna & Jamie Kennedy: Giant Hole & Memorial Concert

At TUI, we give you more. More outfit choices, with 20kg of luggage allowance as standard. More hotels, built around what you love, like that swim-up suite. More, race you to the bottom, water parks on site. More, ooh, that looks good. Food options, from poolside snacks to ala cart dining. Book on app, in-store or online. You book it, TUI sort it. At all and after protected, keys and Cs apply selected hotels only. When you're Jeff Lewis, the drama never stops. They said that I am by far the most difficult talent that they're working with. You know, we could say we don't judge, I judge, and I was judging. Money doesn't make you an asshole, but if you're an asshole and with a ton of money, you're gonna be a bigger asshole. Why are you looking at me? No, I didn't mean to look in that direction. Why are you looking right at me? Well, Jeff Lewis has issues. Hey, welcome to Jeff Lewis has issues. In today's episode, Sarah Cologne and Jamie Kennedy joined the show. We talk about Jamie's canceled insurance and the giant hole in his backyard. Plus, Sarah attends a memorial concert. Welcome back. I was so happy to hear that and maybe this came from Felice Navi Paz, but Kat Benatar has been adopted. Yes, I was hoping that she'd get those noises. Yes, she got adopted by a chump. Oh, nice. Yes. Shut up. How amazing is that, Jamie? Yeah, it's amazing. Who adopted her? A chump named Jen. She lives in Riverside. I drove. Does she have a job? She does. She has a job. She a big drinker? Probably. She lives in Riverside. I dropped Dolly off to her. Kat Benatar slash Dolly off to her yesterday. I cried all the way home. Did you? I did because I really liked her, but it's, you know, it's, we can't keep all the cats. So you're down to 30. 32. You have three cats now. What? Yeah. I've always had three and then plus a foster. I'm really happy to hear that. I know. She's so sweet. And I went to the home. I got to see the apartment she's living in. She has another cat and they're going to love each other and Jen is so sweet. And she has a son that loves cats. So I think it's going to be great. She texted me this morning. And Kat Benatar is doing okay. Kat Benatar used the litter box and ate, you know, all the things that you expect. Isn't this great, Jamie? And where are we with Felice Navi-Paz? Oh, blowing up. Blowing up. How many followers do we have now? I don't know. Like 3,500. That's my cat's Instagram. Your cat has a gram? Yeah. 3,500. Yeah. Wow. That's insane. Every time you come on, it's like another 1,000 followers. Yeah. Cause you talk about it. Are these, cause I love kitties. And they're so cute. Are these rescues? Yeah, they're all rescues. You know who needs a cat? Who? Jamie Kennedy. That would be cute. You could name it MJ. And it would be like, yes. And it would be like, you love MJ. You could scream at it. No. Use the litter box, Kat. You can feed it spaghetti at 1 AM. Oh my gosh. Yes, Sarah. How, what are you doing here? I'm in a nice way. His house is so huge though. You have to get two kitties. Yes. Okay. You've got the room. One AM and one J. You've got the room, Jamie. Look, you've got room for cats. I have so many. Jamie, you've got to do it. There's so many in my neighborhood. I would like to. You know, I was telling Kean yesterday that I had a cat years ago and I got my first house called and his name was Dirt. Oh. And it was my, he looked like dirt and he was my, he's my busiest years as an actor. And I went away for like six months. We call you Dirt too. See, come on man, I showered today. So, and I had all of these, I had this house that was crazy and the decorator got me a couch and I want to say this, you'll tell me this, Jeff, did Calvin Klein or Ralph Loren ever make a couch? Yeah. I had one of those if you can believe it. So it was real cheap. Really? I'm kidding. It was expensive. And so it was expensive. I went away, I came back and the couch was completely ruined. Well, did you leave her? Did you leave her alone for six months? I said, the person, I said, what happened to my couch? They go, yeah, dirt was mad that you left. Oh. And so what they do is they scratch it, they crap everywhere. No, they don't. You get all they do crap. And so what I did, I gave dirt away. Oh. I gave dirt away. Oh, well fuck you, you can't have any of our cats. Why? I gave it to a great home, a very successful person. Oh, okay. And then I had two other cats from my other ex-girlfriend, Malibu and B-Red. And then I went away again and they did the same thing. Well, you got the scratching pads. Did you give them away again? I gave them away. Do you leave? Do you? Okay, never mind. Why? I love cats. They go to their homes. Do you? You get really attached. No, but do you leave them by themselves? Talk about that. You drop chumps like lumps. But I love cats. The cats have been around. I love cats more than chumps. We go out of town all the time. We have a cat sitter. I love cats. I would like to get a cat. We'll talk about this. No, don't give him a cat. I want a cat. I want a cat. No. He does not deserve Feliz Navi Paz. If Annie had fur, she'd still be here today. Oh my God, that's funny. Oh my God. No, I can do cats. I'm just saying, it's sweet that I do that because I give them to homes. Yeah, you leave them alone until they go crazy and then you give them off to someone else. That's not. Yeah, no, no, no. You're not a long-term owner. No. No, no, no. We're not giving him a cat. No. I'll get a cat then. No. No. I'm going to get a cat. Just to prove you wrong. I'm going to put you on a list. You're going to end up with the cat at Feliz Navi Paz. No, do you know I could? I'm going to put you on a cat. I'm going to put you on a cat. I'm going to put you on a cat offender registry. The whiskers. The whiskers. That place. I go there. Please don't get a cat, Jamie. I won't get a cat. Okay. And you travel too much. Dirt's going to get pissed. You'll go to a con and you'll find your house torn up. But don't you always have a house sitter now? Trying to. So at least dirt will never be alone. Dirt would never be alone. You always have a house sitter. Well, you've got 16 squatters there to take care of the cat. That's true. They love cats. Squatters love cats. Now, what's the latest with the house? Because Jamie told me a few things this weekend and it is just, first of all, we got to preface it by, you'll love the house. First of all, I just want to say, Sarah, what are you doing here? Don't you know that I'm the resident meanie to females? Sarah is the only one and I had to pay her a lot of money to be here. I'm getting my quadruple to be here today. I go to Shane. I go to Shane. He goes, hey, you want to do blah, blah, blah. And I said, who am I doing it with? He goes, I was going to ask Sarah. And I said, okay. And then he goes, she said, yes. Like it was, like it was yes to the dress. She said, yes, we found someone. She said, I want $2,000. And she made me wire it before to the appearance. Yes. Yes. Before the appearance, and he had to pay for my gas to go to Riverside yesterday. I'll be honest. Usually Shane doesn't say who I'm on with, but he wrote, will you do radio with Jamie Kennedy? Wow. He's first and last. Normally he doesn't say the name. I just say yes. But he knew I had to, he had to throw that by me. Are you okay? And she said, yes. So far. So far so good. This is his comeback tour. Yeah. You did a pretty good job with your comeback tour. Thank you. I mean, I'm not impressed with your cat situation. No, no, that didn't help. That didn't help. I love cats. Yeah. Yeah. But I was telling you how cats ruin shit if you're not there for them. But Michael was, we were besties right there. So I guess everything's fine. He was hugging me and I, you know, I want my redemption mark. Anyway, there's a lot going on with the house. I love the house, but I'm having new issues. What are the new issues? Well, the issues are this is that after I got rid of my friends, I now get it. Well, explain what happened because I don't know if everyone understands when you buy a home. Are you going to talk about the insurance? Yeah. Okay. Well, yeah, someone's talking about this. Basically what happened is I have, you have to get insurance when you have a house. And what happened in escrow, basically through COVID, my accountant retired. I, you know, a lot of people that did stuff for me or not in the business anymore. Yeah. Cause he gave them away. Yeah. So I'm handling a lot of my own stuff and I'm going to get more help. And so long story is that I got everything squared away and they, the guy who does the escrow says, you know, let me get you some insurance. It gets me insurance. And I guess I never saw the bill and they said, you're going to lose your insurance. And he said, Hey, man, you got to pay this insurance. You got a whole thing. So I end up sending them like the year's worth of insurance, like $10,000 or something. And he's like, okay, you're not canceling your shirts. It's fine. So then everything's going and I guess I've been like, I was saying out there, I was on the road and doing stuff. And I guess they're trying to get a hold of me and they're like, we need to send an inspector. And then I guess a couple more emails. We need to send an inspector. And then I guess a couple more emails when you're on the road and the inspector. Well, did they try to call you also? I didn't recognize the number. And then I saw something that was like all this mail stuck with all these other squatters males. And it said final notice. And then I call and I'm like, what is this? And it says, uh, notice that your insurance has been canceled. No. Yeah. Spire insurance. So I have insurance and I'm like, they have the $10,000. They have the money from my compound account and impound, impound account. And they said, you're, you have no insurance. So I get ahold of this woman. I find her cell and I call and she's in West Lake and she literally like, hello. I'm so sorry. I'm at a John Bejew. Hi, it's Kathleen. And I'm like, Kathleen, my Jamie Cannon. She goes, Oh my God, I've been looking for you. You have no insurance, honey. And I said what it's, and she's like, it's Friday. I left early. It's, you know, Margarita Friday. Like I'm literally dealing with this woman from the eighties and like an office in West Lake and an office park. And I'm like, well, can you help me? She's like, well, it's, it's out. Now you have no insurance. This is like, I gotta go find a new quote and all this, whatever happens. So I'm texting with her and she goes, just want to let you know, um, you're not my only high profile client. And I said, thank you for calling me high profile. And, um, she basically was just, I, I literally texted her yesterday and she literally wrote still looking. So apparently what happens there is your insurance lapse because you don't get emails because of spam and you get in a fight and, uh, I might have to pay two or three times. So hopefully I will not. She's really cool. Well, they better give you your 10 grand back. First of all, that's, that's just being sitting there. That refund has to happen. Well, that's not going to happen because there's going to be fines, I guess. But why was it canceled if you were paying? Because it's, here's what happens, Jamison. This is the, this is the hustle of the game. You pay a year's worth and that's there. They don't touch that. Then you pay every month and that's like this insured security deposit and they have that. They're saying they didn't have an inspector, although MJ got me a crazy good inspector, inspector. And I think they did a double inspection. No, no, what happens is the last piece of the puzzle that didn't get completed. A lot of times when people are closing escrow, right, they get, they quickly will get insurance, fire insurance, but it's subject to a property inspection. It is separate from when you buy the property. From a seven year old property that's made out of cement. They really need that fire inspection. I'll tell you why. That's in the flag. This is what's normally happened. So the insurance company and you'll, you've closed and moved in and then they'll, they'll reach out and they said, Hey, we got to send out our inspector. And a lot of times they'll tell me like cut, you know, the tree branches that are hanging over the roof, cut that back. They'll just give you a few notes to do. It's on a big deal. Final approval is pending on the inspector. Correct. So, but the problem is, is that, take your money before that. Well, the problem is, is that, so Jamie pays for the year upfront, right? So that's 10 grand, but then they're also impounding for next year. So they're taking like, I don't know. 800 a month. 800 a month towards the next policy. But that goes to the lender. The lender has that money. The insurance company does not have that money. Okay. So, but you still got to get the 10 grand back that you paid. Yeah. And now more than likely you're going to have to put out another 10 grand to get insurance and then you're going to have to chase the old company to get your money back. Good luck. Have you considered moving back into an apartment? I mean, it was simpler, but that's nothing, Sarah. Okay. That's nothing. What else? There's new stuff. I don't know. Do I share this? It could affect my policy. What policy? Do I do it? You don't have, yeah, fucking do it now. Why is it? Shout out. No policy. It's up to you, Jeff. Worst comes to worst, you do California fair plan, which... What's that? Is that like many Cal for your teeth? Yeah, it's like... They have to provide that. They have to provide that insurance through the state of California and all that. By the way... That's the one for fire protection. Yeah. That's what the people in Malibu get. They get the California fair plan. It doesn't necessarily cover everything, so then they have to get private policies on top of it, but you can get California fair plan. It just takes a couple of weeks. I'm sorry, we don't mean to stress you out. Should I share the other thing? I think you have to. Okay. Then you're going to help me with these policies. Okay, Sarah, so that's nothing. So you know I had roommates that I didn't ask for. Yeah. And then I had a fight with MJ. Right. And then I heard about that. Things were going on. Then my cat ran away. So I have a guy helping me out. He's doing a lot of stuff. And basically, you know, he's a guy that... He's always got his hands in things. He sees stuff. So he's walking out to take the garbage and he went down to coffee shop and he came back. He brings me coffee. And he goes... He's like an assistant? But first, so he's got these concrete squares with lawn in between. Yeah. Okay. And then he goes a little loose. Well, let me... I was going to get to that. Okay, fine. Sorry. So he's walking in and he goes, hey, I got to talk to you about something. I don't want to start your day out before you have a sip, but I got to talk to you about something. And they said what? And he goes, follow me. So you know, like in your house, how beautiful it is and like... Me too. How you have these big concrete squares and then they put astroturf in between it to make it look like a cute lawn. Yes. Okay. And he's walking and he says, hey, you see that turf? And then he said, yeah. And he says, lift it up. The concrete square. Okay. So the turf in between the square. Am I painting the picture for you? Yeah. Big squares, the turf is all around them to make it look like this design. I'm there. I lift it up. He goes, he goes, stick your hand in there. Oh. There's a hole. And he says, there's a hole. And I said, okay. So I put my hand in there and he goes, what do you feel? What the... This is getting weird. And I said, air. And he goes, okay, stick your arm in there. What the f... Okay. And I... Yeah, just wait. And he goes, what do you feel? And I go, air. And he goes, grab that broom. So I grabbed the broom and I jam it down there. And he goes, what do you feel? I go, not bottom. And he goes, what do you feel? And he goes, grab this rock. And we fucking throw a rock down there. I'm getting goosebumps. And finally later it goes... And I go, bro. What the fuck? And I go, is that a sinkhole? He goes, I don't know. So we pull back this shit. So they take the big concrete piece. And you can just pick it up. And how big is this hole? It's, we look in, Jeff, you're so premature. Let me get to it. I'm building up to it. Okay, sorry. And we only have an hour. This hole. This, we start looking and it's just a hole like four by four feet. Four by four. Four by four. And I look in and I jump back. We're using... Don't jump forward. We're using the cell phone. Light. It's not powerful enough. Then we get to super light and we go in. I'm freaking out. This hole is like 30 feet deep. A four by four. And my Sprinter van is parked on top of it. And I go, bro, is this a fucking sinkhole? Right now. Is this a sinkhole? My whole street is going to go in. I started freaking out because I'm thinking about that Philippines video where the whole building went... Oh yeah. So he runs upstairs, he grabs Claude, he takes pictures of it, puts it in Claude. Claude's the new... Claude's the AI. Claude's an AI. Another cat. And Claude breaks it down what it is. Thank God we found the good light. And we discovered it's a well. And it's a fucking well. That is four by four. And it's got beautiful brick and it's completely circular. Brought up old pictures from Claude of 1920s area. That's a tunnel. It's kind of is. I'm starting to think it's a tunnel. It could be an underground city. Is there a baby in there? I know. It's like traffic. It's like twink trafficking. Oh my God. It goes right to dog's house. What if... It stops at high tops on the way. It ends at the shed. Wow. Twinks are down there. Oh my. Locked the door. That's so cute. My friends. This is what's so crazy, Sarah. Please. I'm freaking out. I get so relieved that it's not a sinkhole. I don't know. I tell Jeff this on Sunday and what does he do? Instead of like going insurance, call the city and all the stuff, he's just going... You have to talk about this on Wednesday. And he's laughing. I was laughing so hard. All the shitties don't say, I go, have you ever used... I've never had a well. Never had a well. No. And so they purposely covered it with this big piece of concrete. Yes, they did. So somebody was... That's where the squatters came from. The twink tunnel. And the twink tunnel. There's squatter twinkers. There's a ball. It could be an underground city. I thought it was a portal to hell. It's so deep. And by the way... How do you know for sure it's a well from Claude? I want to bring channel five over. I want to do a whole thing. And I want Jameson and Doug to be there. Oh my God. Well, if you want to get channel five, you got to get Patrick and Paul involved. Yeah, no. I want to. I'm going to be able to help people. I want to. But it's because Sarah, what happens is, and I don't see any debris from wood rotting, I think someone covered it. They put four feet of dirt on it and then it rotted away. I don't know. Ground wells in Los Angeles must be secured, reported to Los Angeles County Department of Public Health and properly sealed by a licensed contractor to avoid fines. So how much is that? Well, then this is the pre-existing... Now we just outed you. Now you have to call. I know. Oh, that lady. You're going to help. They're online too. I thought we just put the concrete back. And you're going to help. That lady's at Jamba Juice right now. Just sweating her ass off. So much to do today. I got a call. I thought it was her, but it wasn't an 818. This would have been at some point a collection of water for people to use. Jameson, what you don't realize is this. Thirsty twinks. LA, farmers market, Fairfax, all of that was nothing but fields. I looked up all these pictures. So there's wells everywhere. You may have a well. Okay. And you're in the 818, you may have a well. So you may have a well. You may have a well. You get a well. You get a well. So then I get like this and I go to Jeff. I go, so is this MJ's fault? Jeff goes, no, MJ did not know there was a well. She did not put a well in your driveway. So MJ, Jeff had your back. I'm like, MJ did this. That's blaming her. Kidding. I love you. The owner that owned it before the property. I don't even think they knew his fault. I mean, you got to build the house. Someone should have disclosed that well. Yeah. Because it's not been properly sealed. I think, I think I got a million dollar lawsuit coming because who didn't know about the well. My friend discovered it with the turf. How did he discover it? Because he saw it was. Did he build the house? No. The seller. Did he build the house? Yes. He was the first owner. Yes. But he could say a contractor didn't tell him, but I'm a guess is he knew. But now I'm going to have to go and what you said on Sunday. You don't remember what you said. You said, oh my God, you're going to have to get a concrete truck. And so I'm going to get one of those big trucks. I just want to put a bunch of dirt in it. We don't know how far it goes. Does it go left? Does it go right? Like once you get down to the bottom. We just go down. You just keep pouring and pouring and pouring for weeks. But whose responsibility is this well? Jamie Kennedy. Yeah. You got to put on a little GoPro. Take a tag. See what's going on. 100%. Yeah. You go live. Go live. That'd be so fun. What if it is? You could turn it into your next podcast studio. Can we wait till season two of flipping stuff? This is what I want to tell Michael. So everything that I freaked out about, I can get a redemption story because I'm the victim. I wonder if we need to lower. I mean, you're not really a twink status anymore. Zach, you, somebody light. I want to lower down. Yeah. On harness. No, Key is a little twerk. He's heavy. Oh, Shane though. How much do you weigh, Shane? I'm like 152. Yeah, just like. You know, we could put down there. We could put pole. We could lower pole. On a pole. On a pole. Stand on your feet, everybody. Pull it to. Oh, you could lower them on a rope. Yeah. That would be so cute. Or you know, we could put a little basket with little. Snow white. Yes. Snow white. We just lower her down there. With a camera. And a pole boo boo. You could do a little pole boo boo. Snow boo boo. A lot of pole boo boo. Anyway, so I got a basement now. Yeah, you sure do. Yeah, lower level. I mean, look, extra square footage. Mm-hmm. What are those things they used to like for hydra jetting or whatever? Just the cameras that go underground. Can't they get something like that down there? For sure. I like your idea. The GoPro, I've actually thought of that. But can we have callers calling who are well experts? Oh, that's a good idea. Who? Am I the victim here? The Vint diagram of chumps who are well experts. I think we just want to fix the problem, right? We just need to close it. You go like this, Jeff. You go, uh, well. You go, if it's $10,000, you go, just don't worry about it and just do it. And then he goes, if it's $300,000, then we'll talk. Well, I mean, you don't need to go through insurance if it's $10,000. You don't want to deal with that. Right. It's $300,000. Is it $300,000? I don't know what it is. I've never dealt with filling wells. Yeah, because it has to be done properly so that if you ever sell it again, then you're not held responsible. Well, no one else did. What if it's a mine? What if there's- Dude, that's what I was saying. Yeah. That's what I was saying. That's what I was saying. That's what I was saying. Yeah. And who owns it? Just from Twink's losing their loose chain. The way to high tops. Yeah. I want to see what's down there. We can't just seal it up. I agree with you. By the way, this is why I wanted to bring- There could be bodies down there. That's being the crew. Ooh. It could be like a horror movie. There could be bodies down there. Oh, you know, I know that. Oh, you're right. Yeah. At my house. Skeletons. Ooh, get Michael back and we could produce the show about it. Well, we- According to Gemini, it could be somewhere between $1500 and $5000 for a water, but for oil or gas, it could be $70,000 to $100,000. It's water. For sure. Come on, dude. There's no oil. Come on, dude. There is oil in West Hollywood. Yeah. That'd be great. The Beverly Center. Wait, so I would get oil? Yeah. Well, I don't know if you have the oil rights. My God, the gas prices will go down. Thank God. All because of you. Wait, hold on. If you fix the economy- If it's my oil, then I'm keeping that oil. I know. I think you have to have the oil rights, which I think is separate than owning the property. I can't believe we just told- she just texted you? No, but I'm thinking she should have got you the oil rights. Yes, obviously. So anyway, Sarah- She didn't negotiate the oil rights. That's a lot. She got you the furniture, though. Yeah, that's not anything that I was expecting to hear today. I do want to know what's down there. Yeah, you got to find out. It could be. I mean, you never know. Because if they're just- all you have to do is lift up that piece of concrete and drop shit down there, God knows what is down there. Well, from the light, I have a pretty powerful light, and it looked like it was just dirt, I mean, you're right. It could be a whole thing. The cat? It's the cruising. You can't cruise. Do you know I'm in that neighborhood where you can't make a left after 1030 because of BJs? So who knows what's down there? Maybe it's a secret hookup. They didn't put those signs up until Patrick and Paul moved in. By the way, Patrick and Paul, that's so funny. They live around- I love where they live. They really represent. Okay. So let me tell you, we're talking about- I love those guys. Okay. They're around the corner. They got this big, frilly gay. I mean, gay. Gay guys are going, you're gay. It's so gay. This super sparkly- The sign and all that. And it's like Paul's stress shop and all this stuff. And two- one fucking house away is an alley, and then a crazy spray-painted building, and then the most gangster hamburger shop that plays hip hop all day. Those guys are right next to it, and I love it so much because they're so different in fucking people. Oh, I'm going to take line two, but you're not going to like it. Chloe, New Jersey. Go for it. Oh. Hi, Chloe. Hi! Oh my gosh! Hi! Shout out, Shane! Shout out, Chloe. What's up, Chloe? How you doing? Jamie, I think you might have a murder well. A murder well? There was a documentary that I just watched last night. Granted, I had like two glasses of wine while I was watching it. But it's this place, this guy was like a murderer, and he was dumping all bodies down the well and then covering it with lye. They couldn't find the well even though they dug up everywhere. Maybe yours is the well. I got to call the cops. I- you will never sell- if they find bodies down there, you will never sell that house. You were there forever. He doesn't want to. We're going to make it a museum. Oh. Yeah. There's probably a famous serial killer. Not a bad idea. You wanted to get back on that star tour. Oh my gosh. This is it. This is- can we just say this is the most chumpiest thing of the chump land? He's back in scream. Yeah. What a way to get back on. Thank you, Chloe, and I don't believe it was just two glasses of wine. Wait. Hey, definitely wasn't, but I think we can look at this. If you could see dirt, then it could mean there's bodies under the dirt. Yeah, but we don't know. Once you hit the dirt, does it go left? Does it go right? Like there's got to be- I don't think there's an opening. There's tunnels. I just want to think it's water. There's tunnels. We got to get- we got to get- who do we got? Who do we call? I got to get Channel 5. How do you not know there's not more? Dude, I just discovered it and I called you and you're like, we won't talk about it. And then of course you talk about it. I bet where there's- if that cockroaches where there's one, there's seven. Yeah. I bet you have seven wells underneath that house. Probably an underground bottom rave. Right, Jameson? Pass around a party bottom? Right, Jamie. Meet me in the web. You can easily make money off of that. People want it to be like an influencer house because serial killer is out there. Listen, you know me, right? I've never been to social experience. You know me, like I know the rules of screams. You know that? Right. You don't really know that, do you, Sarah? I don't know what you mean. Well, I'm in the horror world. No, I know that. So this actually could be a blessing in disguise. Yes. Shane is on to something. Do you feel safe just walking around your yard now? I feel like you might just fall in. No, I love- it's covered. Yeah, June in Canada has a question line three. I said the same thing, June. That's exactly. Hi, guys. Hi. Jamie, why would you even mention this without any insurance on the property? You're going to have a bunch of chumps walking over there while you're on air right now, falling in that dang hole. Someone check on poll and you're lucky. Because Jeff made me do it. I'm telling you, I'm stupid to do it. You're right. Did you cover it? But Jeff, you're right. Like you said, well, that's not talking about it. And Jeff made me do it. Everyone listening, Jeff made me do it. Who wants a lawsuit? We're going to have a lawsuit. June is correct. We want to make sure some little kid doesn't fall down. No, it's all covered. Someone's dog, someone's cat. Some scammers. It's covered. My Mercedes is on top of it. Yeah, but you also have no idea if like there's more of them on your property. I know. That's what I got to do. And you know what, Sarah? What's Jeff- Your whole house can be covering a well. Jeff, I mean, Sarah, I said to Jeff, I need a LiDAR. And I can't believe you didn't know what that is. I need LiDAR. One morning is going to wake up and that pool is going to be empty. Oh, do you guys know? There's a well underneath. Yeah. Do you know what LiDAR is, everyone? No. It's a beam, a green beam that scans your whole property. It can tell you how far. They did it under the Egyptian tombs. It can tell you what? So that's how they found their tombs have empty caverns underneath it. So that's what I need a LiDAR scan. Should we call Geico? We need more than that. We need Geico, Eastwood Insurance. We need them all. Hi, Geico. Who insures wells? Not the California Fair Act or what? Fair plan? You don't think? No, that's not doing it. I got a tech Spencer. Forget Farmers State Farm. That's out. No, you, I think. I don't know what you're going to do. Dude, this isn't funny. We were talking to Jamie about his silence of the lambs basement. Yeah. Precious. She's a great big fan person. She's a great big fan person. Can I help you with that? I'd fuck me. Yeah, it's, uh, we got to figure this out. We sure do. Now we have Angel. Is it Angel? Angel? What is, what do we, how do we pronounce that Oscar? You don't even know. Highline for Georgia. Yes. Hi, I'm a child. So hello everyone. How do we pronounce your name? And Jail. And Jail. Okay. And Jail. Like, yeah. Like Angel? It's not so like Angel. Anyway, my family had a water well company. They sold it. But anyway for a long, long time. Jamie. Yeah. A couple of things. Is your home real old? No. I mean, Seven years old. The building code would not have allowed a well to be needed there. Right? Uh, it's 2000. It's impossible to do farmland. I think it was farmland a hundred years ago. In fact, I saw pictures of it and I just think no one discovered it or somebody in hell is being duplicitous. Well, somebody discovered it and put a big piece of concrete over it. Yes. I don't think it's Angel. Is it Angel? Angel. Angel. Oh my God. Yeah. Angel. How do we fill this thing? How do we fill the hall? Well, you want to, first of all, I would check the health department and just make sure that they don't have record of it. Just a double check. This is a whole lot to do. But you need to call a water well contractor. You don't want to just have some person come in and fill it. Or how to do this. You can't even get his emails from the insurance company. How's he going to call a water well company? You do have a part. You do have a point. Absolutely. And what can I, should I call the news? Sure, if you want to. I don't think the news is going to help you. I think the news will say, honestly, I think I can blow this whole story up and I think it'll be that I discovered a well and I think there's a lot of houses that have wells and I think the whole city is going to be on alert because of me. Because of you. We said we weren't going to talk about it. We did. So now I have a well. Guess what? Everybody's got a well. We all owe wells. I bet that water well contractor is going to be so expensive. That's what I'm saying. Angel, what do you think it costs to fill? What would your family charge? I mean, 30 feet. It would be like, but you're like four feet wide though. Four feet by four. That's not a well. What is it? I guess it could have spread, you know, over time, more and more water. No, it's, it's. Water is going to go to the boys. Angel, give me the price. Yeah, well's not that big. Give me the price. Four by four. It's all brick. I mean, like exactly what was stated earlier, like around about 5,000, that's here. So. Okay, listen, I think it's more than that. You better hit the road. Can I just put dirt in it? You imagine the permitting process. The dirt. Oh my God. Can I just fill it with dirt? Can I just fill it with dirt? No, it's going to back up. Oh, I want to just put dirt in it. I think we're going to start looking for another house. How? No one's going to buy this. No. And you don't have a realtor anymore. So. More insurance. No, that's right. Because of insurance. You know what? No real estate agent, nobody. I kind of liked just a well-filled twink. Can I just go back to being in time out? Now, I thank you so much for your call. And gel. And hell. You're all have a great day. You too. Bye girl. Now there's something else that's bothering you, which I was wondering how long it was going to take for you. So when we put our cans out on Thursdays, if you happen to leave them out there, even an hour after the trash pickup happens, people come by and they walk their dogs and they put shit bags in our cans. So I literally have people waiting at the window. And soon as that trash truck grabs the cans, we pull them on in because it just takes a half an hour to fill it with dog shit. And you have a term for it. What did I call it? Shit swatted. Yeah. Yeah. Shit swatted. You know what that is? The shit swat your house. People show up. I do. The shitters show up. I go out there. The trash is there at 11 at 12. It's each trash can. The recyclable. The recyclable. Shit's ever said. The black can. The green can. At least only put it in the black can. And it's just little bags. Someone like Jameson, no offense, is like tied it up in a bow. And he's like, I'm just going to deposit this shit in this can. No, if you've got a dog, let them shit in your property, take it. I have enough problems. I'm going to fight with my insurance agent. It's going to get worse. My real estate agent hates my guts and I got a 30 foot well. So I have. And I got shit. Beautiful. Brand new trash cans. They're so clean. Dude. Now I'm going to warn you what's going to happen. If you leave that can out for an hour, you're going to have four shit bags in there. And then when it gets hot in the summer, it's going to bake from Friday all the way to next Friday. This is what I'm saying. Oh, it's the worst. This is what I'm saying to you. I'm like, what's the big deal? Because you put them in the side of your house and it stinks and you're like, did I just shit my pants? And you're like, no. And also they should. If they're at least doing that, at least only put it in the black ones. Don't put it in the recycle. They put it everywhere. They put it in the green. They don't know. They put it in the green. They put it in the blue. They put it in the black. You're right. So I'm not alone in this. No. Okay. We get shit swatted. Everyone gets shit swatted. It's terrible. And sometimes it happens like in five minutes. So I want a dog collar to call me right now and go, what makes you think you have the right to put your dog do and put it in a baggie and put it in my can or Jeff's can. I hate to tell you this. I think it's Snow White 90210. Oh, yeah. They live right around the block. Oh my gosh. Are you kidding me? There's Snow White shit. But there's dumpsters. And those probably smell real bad because she's old. And she's really old. And it's runny and it's disgusting. But what if it's Jameson and he had an accident? Can you put it in the red? Sorry, Jamie. I had paybacks a bitch. Wait, Jameson, do you defend these shits, waters? I think it is crummy to put it in other people's cans. But I guess it's better than throwing it on the street. But also, yes, theoretically, you should bring it to your own brand. You got to get those cans in right away. I know. It's crazy. You're thinking about camping out in the RV just to catch people. Yeah, I want to put an extra camera up. I want to put a shit can up. Why don't you just put, why don't you move the concrete thing and put a little mat over it. Oh, yeah. Four by four run. And then say, they just fall down the well. You can deposit your poo poo here. Yes. Watch them all fall down. And the dog and the Jamie Kennedy experiment. I could use the well as the shit can. Just put the shit down. Yes. And I could be helping the neighborhood. I get fertilizer and everybody's happy. Yeah. And the well gets full. No problems. Now you went to a concert. I did. Was it this last weekend? It was on Friday night. Okay. Randy Travis. Randy Travis, a very famous country artist. Coach. No. And he said, talk about old men. Wonder how long I'll be faithful. Now that's kind of what happened. Randy Travis. Do you know who he is? Yeah. Yeah. So he was playing at the theater. The Saban. Is that how you say it? Oh, yeah. Saban. My friend said it. She saw tickets. She said, Randy Travis with the guy named James Dupree who's covered some of his songs on the voice. She said, we should go see Randy Travis. And I was like, Oh, I thought he had a stroke a long time ago. He did. And she lost his voice. And we're like, he must be doing great. Must be on the mend. Must be on the mend. So we go to the concert and James Dupree started singing Randy Travis songs and Randy Travis videos started playing in the background and Randy Travis sat on stage and watched the entire concert with his wife. And that was it. That was the whole concert. So he didn't even sing. He didn't sing. He didn't talk. Very long stories. And James Dupree sang his songs. And then when his wife would talk, James Dupree would stand back and then they'd play another Randy Travis video from like the eighties and she would talk about it. And then James Dupree would come back out and Randy Travis didn't sing. Obviously he can't. And I think you didn't know that. We got tickets. I didn't know that. That's not how it was billed. And I was advertising. I didn't do my research. I didn't. I just thought maybe he was on the mend. But it turns out he doesn't sing. He just sits there and watches his own songs be sang by someone else. And one of my friends. It's like a memorial. It was like that. It was like a funeral, but with the person there. That's so weird. It was so weird. My friend leaned over and made me laugh so hard. He whispered at one point. He goes, I've always wanted to see James Dupree. And then we couldn't stop laughing. I was like, sure. None of us knew who that was. So it's a James Dupree concert. It's a James Dupree concert. It's not a Randy Travis. It was a lovely voice, by the way. But it must have been torture for him. Imagine you sitting on stage watching someone else tell your joke. That's so fucking great. Torture collecting everybody's money? Yeah. Well, I know, but as an artist, you want to do your art. That's what you want to do. It was weird because he was singing all the words. He was mouthing all the words along and singing along, but he couldn't. He can't actually sing them. And it was very strange. This is James Dupree. That's Randy Travis. Uh, going on stage and being there is very therapeutic for him. I'm sure. What about for us? Who bought tickets? We thought we were going to hear Randy. Hey, you're getting to see him. He's there. He's lip syncing. Not really. He can't. So you're getting to see him. It was a little depressing, but I mean, maybe he, you know, I don't know. It was a little depressing, but obviously he, the people were excited. Was he in a wheelchair or was he just on a chair chair? Well, he was on a chair chair, but I think he got to the chair from a wheelchair. So I think that's even more depressing. And then I remembered that I, he couldn't talk at an award show a few years ago, but I guess I just thought they didn't say that it was just a living memorial for him. They said it was a concert. I was so confused. It seems like I'm on. But this James Dupree had a nice voice. It seems like I'm on a redemption arc. Let's take calls. What's worse, me giving away my cats or Sarah's reaction to Randy Travis. I mean, I had a nice reaction. I didn't do anything. I feel the same way. Wait, I think it's beautiful. I watched the whole thing. I think it's beautiful. You got to know. He didn't. She catfished the poor guy. I had a catfished by James Dupree. He sold tickets to a Randy Travis concert and James Dupree came in and sang. It's okay. It's like fine. Next live show. I don't even to go. No, just prop. Don't post it. By the way, I'm just going to have time. I'm going to have myself silly. Todd do it. I mean, that is what you guys still managed to do it. Yeah. People there didn't, I couldn't tell if other people were surprised. At one point I did hear some guy yell behind me. God, this is so fucking boring. That's not right. Yeah, you got to. You're like, John, shut up. Save your comments. I was like, save your comments for later. I mean, it was the songs were nice. People were two stepping in the aisle by the end of it. She heard about John, her husband's new business venture. No. He bought another sports team, but not just any sports team. All girls, soccer team. Cherry bombs. Portland cherry bombs. Really? And he's been spending a lot of time with cherry bombs. Pro or semi-pro? Pre-professional. So like the minor league, basically not. A lot of girls. Yeah. How? Okay. In Portland. Cherry bombs. The cherry bomb. They sound like, that sounds like a cute name. It's really cool. They have a lot of really cool merch if you want some. So wait, he bought it? Yeah. Wow. They started it. And so wait. So it sounds like a bunch of strippers. Are these women the cherry bombs? Are these women? Savannah, Banana. These are prostitutes. By the way, it's a good idea. Are these women out of college? And then they start. They're young. They're young. Wow. Wow. Yeah. Pre-professional. They start in May. And. Shout out Bobby Brown. Oh, wow. You've got to play this. Sweet Cherry Bomb. The cherry bomb song. There's the cherry bomb. The cherry bomb. Hold on. So are you insinuating that John is picking some cherries? Is that what you're saying? I'm just. Are you saying he's trying to get to the pit? I'm saying he probably spends a lot of time in that locker room. No, you can't. You can't do it. You sure? You can't do it. What's he coming there? All right, ladies. I want to talk to you. Hey. Get to showers. When you're hanging out, is he starting to turn his phone upside down? Do not disturb. Do that all the time. A little airplane mode. Have you been checking the credit cards? No, I'm not allowed to have credit cards. I bet he's been buying some lingerie. Some, okay. Maybe. Oh, are those cherry bombs? I think, I don't know if they actually play for them. I'm not sure that that's the team. Oh, that one's pretty. Do you see that cherry bomb right there? There's some cherry bombs. There's some pretty cherry bombs. Yeah. Wait, what? Listen, as long as the team is on it. I wouldn't worry about the one on the right. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Yeah. But also. What? There's the bangers, the men's soccer team. So if he gets a cherry bomb, then I have the Portland bangers. That's our men's soccer team. Nice. That's, okay. Now that's something I'd like to go see. Yeah. I would see the bangers. The bangers. The bang out. Yeah. And their mascot's a big sausage and he has sausage hair. No. Yeah. You have to look up their mascot. Oh, look at the team. Hey, Jeff. Hey, Jeff. Fellas. I think it's safe to say, I think you're okay with the hubby. I think it's safe to say a few of those players don't look like they're really. Indemn. Indemn. Yeah, but some of them look like absolute, sorry, hoes. Well, listen, maybe some of them get it on and I sit there on stage and watch like Randy Travis. They just do my job for me. Now go back to that picture. Whoa, this is weird. That's the Portland banger. This is a little bizarre now. Now we're getting weird again. Cherry bombs. I mean, you got to admit that one on the lower right. She's been around the block. Oh, she's a lady. She's, uh, there's, uh, yeah. Now the one on the, on the bottom left looks pure, but you got to worry about those. Those, those are the ones that are nasty behind closed doors. She has golden blonde hair. Those are the ones that get there. She's very, very cute. She's very cute. The nice ones that'll give you a little reach around when you're not expecting it. She looks like that fanning girl that not Dakota, but the other one. She's very pretty. She looks like Elle Fanning. I wonder what's John's type. Um, well, I used to think it was me, but now I'm not so sure. And is that the coach? If a sports illustrated model. She's pretty. Yeah. He's probably more into the coach. That's probably more his style. How much time is he spending up there? A lot. Well, he hasn't gone yet. He's going in May and I wasn't supposed to go. Maybe I will. A lot of zoom. A lot of zoom meetings with his pants off. Is that weird? Wow. I'd be concerned. Well, how was your dinner with, uh, with Doug on Friday? Oh my God. Okay. It was great. We had a great time at the Barbara, but I have one quick thing to tell you is I told him I was getting a stress test, not a big deal. Nothing's wrong with my heart. It's just the thing that my doctor told me to do. It's like a checkup. It's like they just put you on a treadmill. Why would you get a stress test? I don't know. She just said like it's a good idea. They check if you have any, I don't know. Most people like that. They have jobs and financial responsibilities. Oh, I don't know. You don't need a stress test. Well, the cherry bombs are making me need one, I guess. Oh, that's true. Okay. Um, so I was telling Doug, I go, oh, they hook you up to a treadmill and they just put things on your heart and they, and then he goes, yeah. And then they come up from behind you and they throw you on the ground. And I said, no, I don't, they don't do that. And he goes, yes. And a John and I were talking about it on the way home. He's like, he doubled down. He's like, they, Sarah, they throw you on the ground. That's why it's called a stress test. And I was like, I think you fucking went somewhere else for that and paid extra because my doctor is not, never heard of that. Getting tackled by a doctor. He's confusing his visits to the men's steam room. Exactly. That is something. I've never heard of that. I've had stress tests. Because it's not real. That's not something that happens in a normal. Your doctor, along with the dinner and how much did you drink? Uh, we had three bottles of wine. And, oh my God. Well, there was three of us. Who was the third? Well, uh, yeah, John. Oh, John, you. I hope he started with cocktails. We, no, well, we had a roadie. Yeah, traveling. Yeah, we had a traveler in the Uber. A roadie, sody. And then we had three bottles of wine, but there were three of us. Holy crap. John's a big guy. What about Sherry Barn? How long did it, how long did it, um, did the dinner take? Cause usually about an hour I'm done. We were there a couple hours. What did he talk about for two hours? Getting tackled from behind by a doctor. What about his chili pads and all that? A little bit. Thanks for listening. If you want more of this, listen to Jeff Lewis Live every weekday on Sirius XM, as well as the Jeff Lewis channel, exclusively on the Sirius XM app. Thank you all so much for being here at our wedding. I can't believe I get to spend the rest of my life with the woman of my dreams. Speaking of dreams, have you ever dreamed of tasting all the colors of the rainbow? Because that is exactly what you get with Skittles. Five bold fruit flavors in every pack. Lemon, orange, lime, strawberry and blackcurrant. They're chewy, they're colorful, they're perfect. Just like my wife. So thank you for coming and remember to buy Skittles. Shamelessly promote the rainbow, taste the rainbow. Grab the unrivaled Samsung Galaxy S26 Ultra with an incredible privacy display on EE, the UK's best network. 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