The Horse in the Striped Pajamas | Boy Dad #373 ft. The i5 Commuters

Hey, son of a boy, dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. I can't fucking believe I'm here right now. This is so fucking awesome. I'm happy too. I can't believe you're here either. I don't want to say too much. Why? What are you afraid you're going to say? Well, I just don't want to say something too cool and then not make it into the... Yeah. We cut the coolest shit. I don't want to. If we hear anything cool, it's fucking out of the show. Immediately. Sass, start us off, brother. Oh, we're ready to go? I mean, if you are. Yeah, I'm ready to go. Alrighty, welcome back to the Son of a Boy Dad podcast. Today, it's February 2nd, 2 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. Welcome back. We are live from HG3. Francis, why don't you introduce our guests? Thank you, Harry. We have the gentleman behind i5 commuters. You've probably seen their page on Instagram. That's where you do the bulk of your work now. Yeah. Yep. Or is it TikTok as well and stuff? All that? I think we're shadow banned on TikTok right now, but we're going to see about changing that here soon. What happened? Just a few too many F-bombs, I think. We got a lot of the too dangerous flags or this is dangerous activities. activities i got hit with that for that road video i made they said mine was too dangerous we get it it's like any time we have a video that is big enough for them to pay us any sort of money it gets flagged got it oh so it's conspiratorial oh yeah for sure and there's like no helpline with tiktok there's just no person that you can get a hold of at that company to talk to about this craig tried baiting his way in through he made like a fake tiktok shop because he was like, oh, if we're making them money, we could probably get some online, and we did. Yep. And he was like, I actually don't have a TikTok shop. I want to talk to you about the monetization of my page. You held them off? You tricked them to get in the room? Yes, exactly. That was the only way. That was the only way to get in. Didn't work, but it was worth a shot. Turns out she couldn't help us. Damn. Tried. Did our best. That's a good plan. I mean, it's a great strategy. Yeah. Yeah. Are you guys, do you wear these disguises because you have real jobs and you want to protect them? Oh, yeah. That was the start. That was the start for sure. I think we didn't want our boss to know we were doing this on the side because maybe we'll get into it, but that's kind of how we met. We were both working in the corporate world in Seattle and we were filming our commutes and obviously doing quite a bit on the side too. So that was kind of the start of us wanting to stay anonymous. Craig is still fully entrenched in the corporate world. His coworkers do not know that he's here. They do not know what he does in his free time yeah which like we're so opposite because i can't wait to tell people are you guys related no no no we get brothers the way they show their teeth i know it's hard to tell it's hard to tell i think we're just excited i have some i have some bad news what if i like know one of you guys i don't even find like where does high five run that's the that's the thing there's been little to no communication pre-podcast like i was i was up until like 30 minutes ago i'm like this isn't fucking happening like francis is just pulling us along this is gonna be one huge bit he's gonna be like wait you guys actually flew here and showed up boy i'll tell you i when you guys were like oh we're booking our flights that was when i had to run it back by these guys and be like just just so you guys know they're they're coming we're coming and that probably means we have to have no it did feel like you were like debating it the whole time like it was like you asked us to come on and then immediately regretted it well we said yes no i think i asked them i think i asked you as a pitch almost and then i always want to get their approval before actually extending a formal uh well i thought it was i-95 i thought you're just gonna drive up i heard a flight i was like jesus christ that's so dedicated you guys are the first people that have flown out to do this show no way shut up yeah that's just what are you kidding yeah definitely We can't get people on less than a four block radio. No. Really? Yeah. That's crazy. There's just no swag on our part, but... No, I'm saying the opposite. I'm saying that's so swaggy. Super swaggy. We have no swag. We're stoked you're here, but I was going to say I have some bad news, Craig, which is that if your intention is to remain anonymous... Okay. I mean, we have a pretty good listenership. I think the odds of you now... Well, look at him. I wouldn't know him. I have no idea who he is. It's incredible, actually, how much this can throw people off. We did a partnership with a local fast food place, and it's a fast food joint that I go to all the time. I have gone through this drive-through window over 100 times, and I see the same people all the time. We show up with these on, and the lady freaked out. The same lady who's treated me like shit for the last six months is like, oh, my God, you guys got to come here all the time. I'm like, lady, you just messed up my order last week. But we will be back. Yeah, certainly. But yeah, people have no idea. It lends credence to like when I watch Batman, I'm always like, I would fucking know that's fucking Val Kilmer's chin. Yeah. But I think you gotta know like, would your like good friends know? Totally. Our friends, family, those people know. But we just met up with your friend last night and he didn't know. Exactly. Exactly. It was funny. We went out to dinner with one of our buddies last night and Joe was shocked. He didn't tell. It was like one of his good friends. Like we met up with him for dinner. In New York? In New York. And I'm like, oh yeah, like we're super excited to be here. He's like, what are you guys doing? I'm like, you didn't tell him anything? So has he seen the account? Had he seen the account before? I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. He was like, wow, this is fucking awesome. Wait, so your guy's account, did it blow up rather quickly? Well, what happened was Glowrilla reposted one of our videos and we never really looked back after that. Yeah, that was it. That was it, yeah. Once you jump into that territory. Straight for the stars. It was an interesting, yeah, it was an interesting, our demographic really shifted overnight. But we never looked back after that. Should that have been a pre-show comment? No, no, no. Very accurate. I'm sure her listeners are of a certain ilk, but I think that you should describe who, or you should describe what your account does because there will be some people listening who haven't seen it yet. I've gotten it sent to me by a bunch of my friends for months, but I would love to hear how you describe it for people who just don't know what it is. And Francis, you should describe the common interest here in protecting the roads. But I'm going to let them go first. Of course. Alright, I'll do my best. Yeah, give it a shot. 30 second elevator pitch. No, we have an hour. We got ours? All right. Cool. No, we're just two close, close buddies that met at a corporate job in Seattle. Our first sales job really out of college. Amazon. No. Good guess, though. We're going to keep that anonymous, too, but close by. Microsoft. Could be Nike. Or no, that's Portland. Portland, yeah. Close. No. Is it tech? It's tech. It's tech. It's so funny to hear Harry talk about the Northwest. like it came up on one of your recent episodes where you were talking about you were talking very fondly about the Pacific Northwest and I do remember that I love that about you what did I say some nasty things you were just like isn't everybody just fucking serial killers running around the woods with hatchets in their hands that's how it feels you guys are not dispelling it what do you mean but anyways Craig 30 seconds here you go so anyway once COVID hit my wife and I and his wife. You're married? Both of us. No way. Yeah. Sorry, ladies. I know what you were thinking. Do they have any idea or do they like, they found the wig in the car? Oh, no, we don't tell our wives. Who are you fucking saying? Our wives do not know. They don't even know we're here. I also don't believe that either of you are married. I mean, this is a very real 14-carat wedding ring. This is all part of that, you know, trying to sort of throw people off. Four millimeter, five millimeter? Yeah, it's actually, there's a quote from my grandfather in there. I'm actually going to my grandfather's celebration of life right after this. Oh, really? Hell yeah. He was a beautiful man. He, uh, it was, it was crazy. He was like, I mean. Discounts for part of his 30 seconds, by the way. Yeah, you're fucking. You're killing me. What am I doing bringing up my grandfather? No, no, go. What the fuck? Go ahead. I want to hear about his life. Uh, no, he just said, I mean, he had like bad dementia, like later in life. And he didn't, he wasn't even able to make it to my wedding. I just got married a few months ago. Oh, wow. Oh, congratulations. Thank you very much. I hope it lasts. Congratulations. And he had this moment of clarity when I was on the phone with him. And he was like, this is a beautiful moment. Stay the course. That's all he said. Hell yeah. And so I got stay the course on the inside of my winter ring. And hopefully you believe me now. You're all fucking married. Little did you know he was watching sailing on TV. He was watching cigarette boat races. my uncle holding the phone to his ear he's like oh that's good that'll work that'll work these last words to you yeah anyways greg what the hell do we do yeah anyway but once covet hit we weren't going back into the office then once things started to normalize a bit joe and i were like all right let's carpool together save on gas have a buddy to talk to while we're in the car use the carpool lane which is key i'm sure i don't know similar here but it's going to cut your traffic down by you know 15 to 30 minutes each way by having a buddy uh but anyway are you going from like the downtown to like tacoma area okay you know you're still on top of it you're on top of it francis yeah so we're both in tacoma area so it'll take anywhere between 45 minutes to an hour 45 yeah no i've done that drive because i flew you fly into the airport and then you have to get down to tacoma comedy club we have a great comedy club yeah we get a lot of good good acts down there yep but uh really it's we were just we had no idea that it was going to turn into this actually the first couple of videos like our faces were in it yeah and then like because we just were like oh this our friends will think this is funny and it'll that'll be the end of it yeah because we were sending snapchats to our friends so we were like doing our commutes we were sending snapchats to our friends and they were like this is so fucking funny like you just just post these on tiktok like do us a favor just post on tiktok we're like okay as long as you'll keep watching and we like within a month it was just like insanity like all our videos are getting thousands we've never been in this world i know like you guys are familiar with this but like people that we don't know commenting on our posts was like very new to us yeah describe the nature of your post for people who still like people like you guys they drive around in cars and we'll just like kind of be shouting out the window like fucking maniacs but like really like fun positive things oh i think it's like the ethos of it is that i would have described it as like you guys are the the enforcers of the unwritten rules of the road can we give you guys like a clip to show can we like throw in a clip right here i could send you guys a clip after here's a clip good evening commuters it's 5 22 we're about to start the feet home here we go oh wait a second oh no shit that's ned stevens Oh my god. Oh my god, he's going to turn left right into the median. Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Look at that, look at that, yep. The twist in the strap, that's how you know he's a pro. A little twist in the strap to avoid the flap. That's a nice load. Giant steel beam, no pro! A little twisted strap A little tarp That's a nice loud Let's play some D here Let's play some D here Let's play some D here A little early No No No Yeah but I don't know what that clip was I think you have us mistaken for the tonight show this isn't we're not just for us not for you this is the first time we've been asked to explain it but yeah I mean so it's all things that probably piss everybody off I think that's what makes our page so popular is the relatability of it so like you're driving down the road and you see the guy next to you going 65 miles an hour with his phone in his face texting full blown novel two-hander and you want to scream out of your window yeah say put the fucking phone down you motherfucker and so we just started doing that yeah and um but we we try to approach it in a nice way because because guns exist yeah yeah of course especially in seattle i'll usually start with a roll down the window it's a pleasant excuse me sir i was wondering if you were noticing how you're putting us all in danger right now and then if you get a little look and he like shoots us a smile then i'll really go in But if we see, we usually don't talk to trucks, face tattoos, and then there's a few other car model, make and model that I won't mention. Hellcat. Subaru. Hellcat for sure. Chrysler 300s. Got it. Yeah. So you don't like Glow Rilla fans. Whoa, whoa. No, we love Glow. Shout out Glow. Thank you for putting us in the position we're in today. Yeah. So what about, does it bother you? those those to me are like proper danger you're you're actually doing the right thing yep but i was curious about sort of more of i'm a an enforcer of unwritten rules and to me for example if someone is i don't know driving in the pacific northwest and camped out in the passing lane refusing to get out of the way because quote maybe they're uh they're going fast enough anybody who nobody should need to go faster than this. And would you accost somebody like that? 100%. Absolutely. Let's do an accost play. That's crazy. What would be the speed that they'd be going in the left lane that you would then roll down the window? See, this is the common misconception, Harry. The speed does not matter. The speed does not matter. This is the passing lane. This is not the fast lane. This is the passing lane. So it goes something like this. without you're going with the flow of traffic yeah yeah and if you could be going 80 in a 60 yeah but if you're upheating the flow of traffic yeah we're gonna have something to say yeah all right so picture this picture this okay you're going with the flow of traffic you're going 80 in the fact maybe you're pushing 85 in the fast lane feels good so and then you get some big you know ford f-150 behind you who he wants to go 150 miles per hour would you you're so you're yelling at the guy in front of him but not that guy because me i'm yelling at that guy yeah i mean this is a really nuanced great question harry this is yeah this is this is a tailgater and a left lane camper in the same scenario so that's actually that actually is a great point so i'm really stuck between a rock and a hard place here yeah of evil here it's really it's a really great question for someone that is just getting to know our page yeah exactly so imagine you're driving from seattle to i think i was going two hours away from seattle towards tacoma okay and um you know you're keeping i'm keeping the flow of traffic the whole drive you know no problems and then once i kind of start getting into a little bit more of the woodsy areas there's a lot of trucks that really want to push the limit on their truck yeah and like open it up yeah i mean you're and you're saying not today kind of yeah can i venture a guess or maybe even a position on this please i don't think that two wrongs make a right so just because this guy's screaming up the left lane being an asshole does that mean you have to be an asshole to this guy get out of his way let him be an asshole grumble under your breath maybe flip him a double bird and get back to business as opposed to trying to fight fire with fire yes you tell me that a lot you want to take this one yeah we talked about that all we talked about that all the time in those type of situations it's just move over yeah let them go around you it's not worth the battle and that reminds me that was another reason why we went anonymous was from a safety factor of course is we don't want people coming to our house or chasing us back to their house so in those situations you're right two wrongs don't make a right get over let them pass get back on with your day i can respect that i can respect that will you change your ways though of course I'm talking to like the kings of traffic we don't fuck with trucks at all just so you know are you talking about pickup trucks or like 18 wheelers 18 wheelers we will fuck with those guys for sure a lot of TV watchers in the semi truck community oh yeah they got a whole room back there wait they're in the back they're in the living room or they're watching at the they're watching dashboard television driving a 3-4 ton vehicle at speed and I see and I see like a full blown like episode of White Lotus going on which requires full attention of course nonetheless there's nuances and like little there's gems in there that you've got to pick up yeah yeah no it's uh but aren't those on autopilot though I thought that those were like I thought those trucks kind of go on their own no? I think they're like airplanes so you barely even got to move right you don't have it doesn't matter who's behind the wheel yeah well we uh we had a video or are you going to say the Tesla guy? No, go ahead. We caught a guy sleeping in his Tesla once and that was a great video. While driving? While driving. While driving. He's completely zoned. Do you have to put on sunglasses? Because doesn't it have some kind of eye detection or something like that? No, you have to have your hands on the wheel and give it a little jiggle every once in a while. But you can get around that with those. I have a pair of those gloves that seamless bike riders use to keep their hands warm. and it locks my hands in and everyone's like the road jiggles for me. You know what I mean? Oh, we're good. That shit's so bad. No, it's a Tesla. That shit's crazy. At least he's like being woken up by the bumps. But the bumps, this guy is like fully, fully zonked. I think that you would be shocked what percentage of Tesla drivers are asleep for more than half of the time. Oh, yeah. If you have an early morning commute, you're out. Yeah. It is until the technology is there for us to safely say this is okay. Because one day that would be fantastic. Oh, of course. If you could sleep on your way to work, I encourage it. Yeah. But I don't think the technology is there. No. Especially because the Tesla like turns on you. Yeah. Like you'll be driving and it just decides you're going off the cliff. Like it takes over. Have you ever seen those videos? Yes. It'll get like a fender bender and then it's just all of a sudden it's just taken off 200 miles per hour into the woods. Like a horse. Yeah. the Teslas were posting about it in the AI Reddit oh I saw that the AI group chat what's it called? I forget what it's called you guys see this? there's an AI you guys are in tech you probably fucking started the shit how did you know that? do we say that? do you guys know Sam Altman? there's an AI I am Sam Altman what a freaking Scooby Doo mask reveal that would be. That would be awesome. It's been Sam Altman the whole time. He looks like Sam Backman-Fried with the hair on his head. Yeah, this is new. This is new. That's such a terrible doppelganger to get. Yeah. You look just like the super ugly crypto guy. I took it as a compliment. That's right. Yeah. I'll take it. I'm talking about his disguise. Do you guys have a couple wigs that you throw in rotation or is it the same one every time? No, this is the I was Garth for Halloween like five years ago and this has been the one I've been rocking since day one. Yeah, and I had mine. It was like a 70s Halloween costume from a couple years ago, and then that one fell apart because my dog ripped it up, and then this was a new one. I just started putting this one into play a couple weeks ago. Yeah. What do you guys think? I love it. It's tough. The hat barely fits. I can tell that your mustache is a much bigger challenge than his. Yeah? Yeah, because I think you're speaking with your upper lip stiff to hold it on to. His allows for it, but that's heavy on you. This is a heavy one. He went for the thin one today. Yeah, a little thin guy today. The heavy ones get wet around the... Yeah, they do. The big heavy ones get wet on the side. Yeah. Yeah, you get a little... I've been having to like... Oh, yeah, water. Yeah, water's tough. Yeah, water's tough. Yeah. So you said that you don't care about your identity becoming known, but that you do. Oh, I can't wait to tell people. Right. So is there a day where you guys say we are going to burn the ships? We are going to dive fully headfirst into this. There is now revenue that we can make to recoup whatever we were making at Microsoft. And you guys both quit your jobs and go full into this. I think there's a chance for sure why not just keep the disguises anyway why don't you keep the disguises I'm just wondering I don't know I feel like this would be an awesome job to somehow I quit my job I quit my job definitely too early speaking of revenue we're going to be rich forever we had one partnership We had one company reach out to us, said they were going to pay us money. And I'm like, that's it. Phone it in. And that was one of three partnerships we've gotten. But yeah, people, for some reason, are very afraid to get into business with people they have no idea who their true identities are and scream the F word on social media. But I think you're way more like, I would be totally okay being anonymous forever. It's kind of nice now. like because like i was saying with the fast food i can go somewhere in this costume and get the hooting and hollering the pop the pop but when i want to just like chill which like you guys probably can't even do that anymore oh yeah it's impossible to go anywhere i seriously cannot leave my house just my face well i just like what i'm trying to say is it's nice to still be treated like shit like the rest of everybody no i think that is and it's well it's like hard marketing you know what i mean it's like you have a look that like i think people strive to get like you could be a halloween costume you know that's i think uh something that people want to get to it's good branding yeah yeah i really thought someone was going to be us for halloween last year didn't though so looking forward to this year um you guys so you guys know pretty much everything there is to know about the road right a good amount let's go for sure do you think that it is harder for a gay couple to adopt a highway? They had to do it in China. Certainly not Russia. We tried to adopt a highway. Did you? We tried. We swear to God, yeah. What's the process of that? So fucking hard. Why? The commitment is the hard thing. Yeah, five-year commitment. Five-year commitment. And were the bags crazy? Is it expensive? I can't remember. It was a lot of like, are you a real business send us your w this w that which we don't have any of that yeah and it was and uh you don't yeah he still does he still does but yeah it was just like way too difficult and they like could give a fuck if you buy it or not like you would think they like trying to get the funds what the purpose of buy of adopting Your money will help maintain that area in not just the road but litter as well Oh, I see. I don't know about what it is out here, but highways by us is just the center area of the highway. Yeah, there's a trash pit. It's just covered with trash. So your money would go towards the stick device that they give to convicts. Yeah, it's all community service. To come clean up on the day. The chain gang. Yeah, right. Yeah. Right, right, right. The spikes for the chain. The matching orange poker. Yeah. How much does it run you for five years? I can't remember. Too much. Is it like five grand a year? Yeah. Was it going to be my guess? That's my guess. Or is it like a hundred grand a year? No, I don't think a hundred grand. It can't be that expensive. I think they thought we were gay couples, so I think they upcharged us a little bit. Happens. That's so crazy. We actually get a lot of that. Because they see both wedding rings and they're like, oh, these guys are getting after. which I'll like, look, believe what you want. I mean, you have an hour and a half commute total between each other. One of you has at least thought about it. Statistically. Thought about it. Statistically. Thought about it. I love that you guys are so committed to your disguises and yet you keep your wedding rings on while you drive as if you're like, look, we can't have all these beautiful women, inbound women that are so attracted to what we're doing. I can't imagine what your DMs look like based on what we get. Based on what we're getting and they don't even know what we look like. I can't imagine. Are you saying negative or positive? They're like, hey, this sounds kind of crazy, but I just love your vibe and would love to get to know you guys. You guys? We get a lot of people trying to bait us into revealing ourselves. so like I had I don't know how she she pieced this together but she's like you sound like an old friend I have from Pittsburgh like which is where I'm from yeah and she's like are like I forget exactly what you said but I'm like asking my friends I was like do you anybody knows bitch like and they're like no so yeah we it's just we get a lot of I don't think you have that much of a Pittsburgh accent my mom does say downtown downtown oh yeah that's good it can come at it can come at when it needs to turn it on like pat mcafee my dms are mostly hey man my life has fallen apart too um i'm at rock bottom as well no any chance you could you know share specifically the steps you took how did you peel yourself out of the depths to rise back to the base camp but i think they have like a joy a joy of life that comes through in their content absolutely the opposite you're right I have a brooding, is morosity a word? Yeah, you're morose as hell. Nasty morosity. We get a lot of inspiration from you. I will say that. Your ability to hang in the pocket whilst big ass truck behind you blocking the shoulder. People don't understand the level of discomfort that is actually happening in that moment. To be able to sit there. Yeah, that was a one of one. Everything that happened was perfect in the exact shortest amount of time that it needed to. And it had a button with him honking his horn and me saying, shut the fuck up. But I tried to do it a couple of other times and bailed. You lost your hand. Bailed. Well, there were a few times I held and then a couple times I bailed because, you know, you just decide it's not worth it. I saw a guy furiously honking. I wouldn't move. And then he started reaching into his center console thing. And I was like, go ahead. Bail. Yeah. If you're riding the shoulder, you're already pissed off. Even to get onto the shoulder, regardless of someone blocking you, you're like, there's fucking traffic. I got to let the fuck out of here. They're not whistling Dixie, just having a good time. Right. What I did do was around that time, do you guys know Meek Mill? Oh, yeah. Yeah. He's probably friends with Flo Rilla. Pennsylvania guy. Pennsylvania guys. Oh, yeah. Right. Meek Mill, he was selling his bulletproof, I think it was a G-Wagon? Escalade or something? Maybe, yeah. It was a highly protected car that had been souped up in so many ways. And I DM'd him about it. He was selling it on Instagram. He was like, does anyone want this? Yeah. How much was he charging? $140. Oh, that's not bad. No. Because in standard, it's like $100. Right. It wasn't bad. Yeah, only $40 for the bulletproof? And I messaged him, and I said, hi, Mr. Mill. you know I tend to find myself in compromising situations on the road is there any flexibility in your price and he did not get back to me and I've always wondered where that car went whether it sold or not it has to have sold sure sure sure he probably just got rid of it so fast but who's sold out that's why he didn't reply don't take it personal he sold it The car was sold out. Out of stock. There was no more inventory. See if I can get one made for you. It's just a car broker. He has hundreds of them just trying to sell them. He sold multiple stuff on his Instagram. Yeah. That's kind of a weird move. It's an insane move. That's a wild move. Someone who you would expect to be a very rich rapper. That's what people wanted you to do with your shoe collection. I know. Yeah, start auctioning them off on Instagram. yeah people were not happy about that but uh okay so you guys are now doing a podcast yep and again now you're putting yourselves as this on camera I mean at some point the game will be up I don't know let them last as long as they have I'm happy for them too but and I'm not trying to reveal it I'm just saying it feels like you guys are sort of playing with fire a bit you're right i feel like at first when we were first filming we didn't even show this and then next step was right when we started getting our costumes doing the show and i think i think at some point we'll reveal ourselves it's just i feel like we'll kind of know when it is yeah you know what i mean it's not there yet but i i do love it i love the just the the mystery because like you not knowing who we are is way cooler than who we are oh yeah you know it's so like i kind of fall back on that where they're like oh who are the i5 commuters oh just two guys yeah cool like so i think there's like an air the air of mystery i totally agree i think that i don't it's not a personal attack on you but like who whenever you show yourself actually this sounds mean coming out but there it'll be like a letdown to some people you know probably there will be some kind of letdown. It's just like, oh. Like when that Minecraft dude, Dream. Yeah. Remember when he did the face reveal? Yeah. Then he went back. He went back to incognito after. How does that work? He just started wearing the mask again. But everybody's like, you get plastic surgery. Like Marshmallow. Which is a plastic. It's a surgical marshmallow on his head. Marshmallow went back. He's like, I need to look like this for real. But like you said, there's nothing really you could say to us that we haven't seen in our comment section. but people will be like oh when is the face reveal coming and then there's like four comments underneath like don't do it we love that you we don't know who you are yeah it's nice yeah yeah do you guys read comments on your posts never really we should probably get into that no i do i read comments but i don't read them all i don't really i don't really read them i don't really read them at all anymore to be honest i just read francis's comments yeah i'm saying i have stopped i just i read francis and i text them to him so he can't stop i have fully if you and it's amazing how quick how easily i stopped it just got one to get when it gets so bad and you're like all right i can't and then i'm out now and it's blissful and my assumption by the way is that they absolutely fucking hate me it's really negative and it with that in mind i stay away so you gotta have it's not a there's no there's no like you gotta be like everyone loved it there's no need to check whatever it is i i i'm just i'm just they beat me they won and now i have full blinders on and it's peaceful well the problem is like it's probably like a really hot girl that's commenting the negative thing like probably like the hottest girl you've ever seen who doesn't even really go online that much but she just like popped online and you might be missing out. I told you, I'm taking a break from women. Oh, yeah, you did say that. Into men now? Well, just right now it's sort of the canvas is blank. Did you watch the Charlie Sheen documentary where he was just like, I did it all except for that. Had to try it. I'm not gay. Just wanted, just was curious. I didn't get that far. I almost finished it. That's what Charlie said. It's pretty good. Yeah. That's a pretty good doc. His life was insane. Insanity. Yeah. What was he in as a young boy? The Outsiders? Heroin. Was he in that? Well, I know that obviously. He was in Platoon. He had a great, his like breakout moment was on Ferris Bueller's Day Off where he only had one scene. What scene? I don't even remember. He's in the principal's office or something. Nailed it. Yep. Talking to Ferris Bueller's sister. Yep. and he gives her like one line of advice and he's like you care way too much about what other people are doing instead of worrying about fixing yourself interesting and it was like the only well it was something that people really remembered from the movie and he's only on screen for a minute but it he's got rocket after that yeah it got him and then he well he had like a really similarly memorable line in The Breakfast Club, where he was like, my dad molested me. He's like, my dad touched my asshole. Is that him? Yes. No. Like Martin Sheen? That's Emilio Estevez. Oh, same dad. Same dad. Yeah. Still the same person. Fucking dad molested me. And is it him, or is it Judge Reinhold? A bunch of their dads molested them. It was the time It was very popular Yes Dude I just watched Or I just started watching Django Unchained again And fat at the front of that movie Is Harvey Weinstein I didn't even know that he fucking Banged that one out His body of work is insane Better than Michael Jackson's By a lot I might go on a Weinstein binge I recommend I just finished one. I recommend it. Silver Linings Playbook. Oh, is that Weinstein? That's Weinstein. What was his last one? The pianist. He reached out to us, actually. He wanted to do a pick on you guys' lives. He had some fucking heat. Was he good will hunting? Yeah, good will hunting. Wow. So good. Don't want to forget, I have gifts for you guys. Oh, hell yeah. And producers, too. I got gifts for you guys, too. That's huge. Is now a good time? Every Monday we do gifts. Okay, so I saw this. So all my homies from Pittsburgh fucking love you guys. When I told them, there's a living room in Pittsburgh that's just going dummy right now. I'm listening to this. But they helped me learn about you guys a little bit. They love Harry. And when I called him Harry. Everybody loves Harry. Of course. They were like, oh, it's so funny that you call him Harry. And I was like, everybody calls him Harry. But I guess you've got the history of sass. Bro, now that you know him, you can call him hairball like Francis does. Hairball? Yeah, true. Yeah, anything works. I'm doing anything. But got some stuff for you guys. A lot of it's just our merch, but I got some sentimental stuff because I've been watching the last few episodes. Holy shit. And you guys, like the first two episodes I watched, like you gave gifts, but then you like didn't after that. So I'm like, is this going to be chill? But I think it's- Well, it was never requited. Correct. As soon as Harry quites my gifts, I shall continue. I reopen the stream. I'm just looking for the right thing. Well, so far my gifts have been unrequited. What does that mean? There hasn't been any gifts given back. No reciprocation. He scratched the back and he hasn't gotten his back scratched back. Have you ever heard of unrequited love? I have never heard that word before in my life if I'm being honest. Yeah, new term for me too. Oh, you guys are from Pittsburgh. Yeah, she makes sense. But hey, so we got these beanies. I see you wearing a beanie all the time, so I'm going to give you one of these. Also, if you guys want one of these, I don't know if you guys want beanies or snapbacks. And then here's a beanie. Where do you guys get these made? Seattle. Nike. We actually work with a company in Denver that does our hats, air fresheners, bumper stickers. So we don't even see our merch anymore. Oh, yeah. It's all third party. Yep. Yep. And they do a good job. How about these tosses? Of course. yeah we just got these beanies this week what do the hat say commuter yeah they fit nice huh yeah that's nice holy fuck this is sick yeah not bad we're not just fucking phoning it in with our merch barely making a profit on these things oh I know you're not making any money someone early on told us merch is the way to go we've lost so much nobody buys it nobody buys it it's so important if they were it would just take up so much of your day to like be on top of merch to be like oh yes or marketing it yeah we found out recently the company that does our merch is charging us a monthly fee to house our shit oh how much I was like now that I know that we're definitely not making money it's like well that's normal it's normal but I didn't I didn't know that The value behind this gift is plummeting, as you speak. Yeah. As soon as you drive it off the lot. Well, those aren't even on our website. Yeah, this is fall winter 24. Yeah. That's our other problem. Dead stop. This just goes to show how well-oiled of a machine that we're running. We wanted those for Christmas, and they're not on our website yet. It's February 2nd. These are cool. I like them. It's a cold time of year. The box logo. Yeah, it's a cool logo. Okay, here comes the sentimental gifts. so i know that you've been investing heavily in espresso machines coffee mine is being made in in or the seattle headquarters is it's in seattle the u.s headquarters your beans for a lot more zoco okay oh yeah so uh this is like my local coffee shop that i go to wow from tacoma this is espresso beans it's a blue beer they're not paying me to do this which they should be wow they don't even know that i'm the guy actually i go there like every day small batch roasted Dude, this is awesome. So that's a small batch. They roast them in-house. Harry's gift is in there. Oh, wow. Because I didn't know that recreational weed was legal here. So there's a gift for you inside of the beans. There's weed in the coffee. Which if you are living in a state where it's not recreational yet, this is a very good way to get traffic. Yes. We had to get it here somehow. Let the dog sniff it as much as you want. that's amazing guys thank you so much I really appreciate it and I can't wait to make a nice latte that has nugs in it yeah a little hint of sativa dump this into the grinder and ruin Harry's gift are you going to give it to Harry? do you want me to unwrap it? no I'm saying you can probably keep it well Harry keeps I give yes sometimes we'll have gifts presented to the pod and then he'll just take them yeah that's what I mean I think you've got to hang on to that. Weed the weed would mean more to you now that you're back on your journey, as opposed to Harry, who's flying with ounces of Zah. Francis, you're back. There's an eighth in there. Good stuff, too. If it's Washington weed, I know that shit is sparkling. That's some good weed. It's good stuff. Yeah, it's good stuff. We actually were talking about this on the way over. So he's from California originally, and we had a big Washington versus California weed debate. I don't know if you guys have a stance on this. No, I don't. Probably not. I think Washington is, well, I don't fucking know. But I'd say that there's a higher threshold where there's more variance in California. There's probably some bullshit weed. But Humboldt County as a whole was probably a sick growing city. Probably the best growing city in the United States, right? Probably. One of them, for sure. Or area. I feel like, I don't know if it was Washington or California that legalized it first. But California, I think, has the stronger weed. You go there and you get knocked on your butt. Never. You kidding me? At California. I would never do that. What? I asked if you guys are fried on your drive in. Oh, no, no. No, definitely not. No. No. Save the drive. Let's move on. You can't work at Microsoft, huh? No. They're anonymous. Yeah. That would make it so much more fun. I mean, the thing I like about your videos is how much... I'm sorry, you're giving out gifts. I'm sorry. No, it's okay. I don't want to... I was about to shower you with praise. Please, please. Because it reminds me of the most fun jobs that I've had. I was working just in shitty jobs doing physical labor and just having a blast with my really close friends. And just fucking around. Exactly. And just you could say anything or just get lost in a very specific joke. And I think that's the feel of the videos to me. And that's what makes it really fun. It feels like a familiar feeling. 100%. I think we took our worst part of our day and turned it into what we always say is our best part of our day. Cause we're just joking. Like you said, you're with your close buddy. You're talking about who knows what. And then all of a sudden you're, you're at your destination. And usually it's like the worst sitting in traffic. You know, you want to blow your brains out. And I think that's how we also became such good friends. Like we're just talking the whole time. So quiet in the office. Like, so I was friends with Craig, but like, I've learned so much about him through his road rage. and he really opens up in there where like he because he was also like a manager so like we're getting closer and closer it's unbelievable how many breadcrumbs he drops and how Craig just quietly is tightening up his foot just goes like this pulling his glasses a little tighter like still an engineer I fucked up a little bit before manager from California and something in the tocoa okay my bad I'll just stop no you're good I'll just stop but no Craig I mean he's so fucking funny he's so funny And I'm just so glad that I got to know this side of you. And we're best friends now. We're genuinely best friends. And like you were saying, it's like just after the shittiest work day, just being able to talk shit on everybody at your office with somebody that you trust. Then you start filming a truck that's strapped down perfectly. You got to stop talking shit because you don't want to have it in the background of the... When I'm driving, he has to shut me up, which is probably you guys have gotten the gist of this, where he's like, shut the fuck up. I got to film something because I'm just rattling the whole time. But hold on a second. You quit your job, so now you're just riding to his job with him? I might be the poorest person you've ever had on the podcast, but I'm living the dream life right now. My life really couldn't get better than it was right now. Does your wife know you quit? Yes. You're just telling her you're going into the office. She was so supportive of me. She's fucking incredible. For now. Give it a year. well she was like super supportive of it and she's like no like this is fucking hilarious if you just keep doing this some you know good avenues will open right and if i didn't have that i probably wouldn't have done it which i probably shouldn't have done it but yeah and i just it was kind of funny because too i i quit i put in my two weeks and then like say you okay yeah go ahead okay so we were working at the same company and the company was doing terribly oh that's not microsoft no definitely not i see i just need to stop you're just giving all the breadcrumbs and so i literally went to my boss who was like a cool guy and i just said hey like man to man like is there layoffs coming because i'm gonna quit and if uh if there's laugh i'm not going to another job but if there's layoffs coming i'd rather be fired for like unemployment and stuff exactly and severance yeah and uh he was like no no we're good everything's fine and i don't think he genuinely knew but like a week later craig got fired what yeah scumbag scumbags and you didn't didn't i literally quit like one week early oh so you would have got i would i can yeah for sure oh no yeah for sure why not quiet quit why even quit they want you to quiet quit you know what i mean it's like they're putting it out in the fucking AI forums. I can't do it. I just can't. I can't like, I can't purposely do bad at anything. I have a really hard time like doing bad on purpose, if that makes sense. It does. Damn. I can do bad. You can't tank? Yeah. Tanking is an all time art form. It's like one of my favorite things. Zero problems. Fuck about this place. I've tanked so many different things. It's like, yeah, fire me. Quag Field Club member guest, tennis, mixed doubles. We lost our first match, which meant we knew we were out of the tournament. But we would have had to come back the next day to play this consolation bullshit match for third or fourth place if we'd lost to this couple who, I kid you not, was 82 and 81 years old. And we had to lose to them. And when I tell you, man, I made it look good. What were you doing? You were hitting it into the net or smoking it long or just whiffing or hitting the lady? Pick your poison. I was at the net hitting volleys where you just hold your racket super loose. Oh, and it just dies. It just dies at your feet. Yeah, stuff like that. Yeah. That's hilarious. I'm trying to think if I've ever fully tanked something. Tanking is fun. I'm trying to think. Jobs where you don't care if you get fired. I kind of tanked from my pizza job. Yeah. I showed up so late and they were like, do you even want this job? And I was like, I don't give a fuck. It was the day Mac Miller died. I was torn up. I was devastated. And it was pouring out. And I had to pull over on the way. Because Mac Miller died. Because Mac Miller died. Yeah. It was pouring inside too. It was pouring. It was a bad day. Dumbo guy too. Mac. I know. He lived across the street from where he lived. Did he live in? Yeah, he might have. I think he did, dude. I've always wondered what building he was in. But NBA teams tank. Oh, yeah. It's not like. NFL teams tank. NFL teams tank. The Raiders tanked this year. Yeah. Yeah. And so did the Giants. I think the Raiders were trying, bro. You think? I thought they sat Max Crosby twice. Tanking. Yeah. Guys, can we take a second to talk about Columbia sportswear? I'm a big Columbia guy, and so is Harry, to be honest with you. I am. I love it. Come on. I got him a bunch of stuff. He did. the outdoors boys for real there is this is the beer that everyone will be talking about on game day that right they have come out with a beer that is made with literal bear shit how crazy is that now it made with it bear scat it not in the beer it just made it part of the process don worry there not actual bear shit in it but it is part of how it is made and it is going to be the wildest taste test of the year and loki is the the it's the best conversation starter whenever you're at your little watch party your big watch party it's the break side beer which was made in collaboration with columbia columbia is about bracing the wild side of life okay we know this and that's why it's even it's even associated with that when we're talking about trying the world's shittiest beer okay if you know what i mean so i gotta by the way excuse me around really quick the beer is called nature calls and it is made in collaboration breakside brewing out of oregon is the brewery that made it in collaboration with columbia got it but check out nature calls would you try it i've had it it's fantastic that's so It's absolutely delicious. I need to try it. It's so fucking good. It sounds great. It's so good. It's kind of like a dare taste test type of deal. Yeah. If you dare to bear, you know what I mean? There you go. You bear it all. We're enjoying the big game. And obviously, you're going to bring the outdoors inside at Columbia.com slash nature calls, just like my boy Francis said. As you enjoy the big game indoors this Sunday, Learn more about how you can bring the outdoors in at Columbia.com slash nature calls. All right, let's talk about Rocket Money. Rocket Money. Have you ever had a moment when you realized you needed help getting your finances under control? Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps you find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Rocket Money tracks subscriptions and has the ability to cancel within the app with a few taps, saving time and avoiding charges. 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But the league is designed to do the opposite. It just feels different. Slows you down. Makes you a little bit more considerate. Instead of spending hours scrolling, I get a curated batch of profiles each day. Less noise. Less back and forth. Just people worth my time. The matches I've received so far have been impressive. I'm telling you. Just from a professional standpoint, the women that I've matched with on the league, their jobs are doctors and bankers and scientists. It is a very high caliber of people that I suspect I will have a lot to talk about and learn from on a first date and hopefully 10 more after that. Before she eventually realizes that I'm not worth her time. And they're all stunning. Beautiful women. Truly. These are meaningful, deep people. And I'm super impressed. The league is thoughtfully curated to keep the community high quality and intentional. You're not here to rack up matches. You're here to make the one that matters. That's the point. We're trying to find a person. Not run up the score or something. This isn't about exclusivity. It's about efficiency and quality. The league is designed to move conversations to real dates faster. Date in a way that respects your time and your standards. Join me on the league. Download the app and apply today. Join the league. Download the app and apply today. Well, I can't believe you guys flew out the week before the Seahawks were in the Super Bowl. Yeah, we're pumped. We're fired up. How's that return flight looking? That must have been a pricey return. I mean, no one's going to Seattle. They're going to the city. You don't think there's some people that are trying to, you know, get out of those pricey San Fran prices? Divert to Seattle. Fly to Seattle, drive to San Fran? Not a bad idea. No, the flights are actually very cheap. I don't think anybody wants to come to New York right now. That's insane. Yeah, that's true. And when Harry goes to Vancouver, he flies to Seattle. Yeah, drive up. That makes sense, yeah. And how common is that? Very. I think it's pretty common. Oh, okay. No, you're saying drive to fucking San Fran from Seattle. So that means you're driving through Oregon What the fuck are you talking about? That's a three hour drive Four hours tops No no no That's like driving across countries I think that's more of like a 12 hour drive I just did it over Christmas break It's a long coast That's news to me You think that Oregon's like Delaware You think you could just like jump over Oregon's a monster I'm literally thinking of driving to DC So I've lived on both coasts and it's so interesting to realize like how much each coast has no fucking clue what's going on oh yeah of course i had somebody when i first moved to seattle i had somebody ask me so are you from pittsburgh or pennsylvania damn that person i go that i answer that question yeah somebody from australia booked me a flight from instead of from philadelphia to australia from pittsburgh to australia i was like this how am i gonna go because what that's like a five and a half hour drive it's yeah it's fucking not even close it's far enough that there's two different sports teams in the state yeah yeah or nfl teams exactly i try to explain that to people like we don't even really like there's no rivalry really between philly and pittsburgh yeah it's just so fucking far away yeah only at penn state there is penn state it's like culture wars it's like fucking israel and palestine yeah yeah did you get that where you went which one's which yeah Philly's Palestine for sure. Not a chance. And I think we all know that. Philly's 100% Israel. Oh, no. Oh, shit. That's me. Oh, whatever. Yeah, I was thinking it and I'm glad you said it. The Muslim population in Philadelphia. I guess the main line is just like Tel Aviv. Oh, God. Now you've got the other one. it's a little dangle I think the dangle is kind of nice we'll be right back right after this here we go yeah anyways here's your gift I think we all know that I'm so bigoted do you want me to tell you what it is I didn't know they were going to wrap it like that tell the listeners what it is it looks like you got like a Rolex I mean not for nothing Bane turned Pittsburgh into Gaza yeah literally Yeah. Very true. Literally where they filmed it. Very true. Yeah. How funny would it be if they got you a bag of coffee and it was actually a Rolex in there? We kind of splurged on Rone. Not a Rolex. Just as good, though. Well wrapped. Very well wrapped. They really did a bang up job on that thing. oh it's a nice sativ it looks it's a sea salt seafood blend this is so nice i don't know if you made the connection you're like talking about all the knives that you've got yeah talking about getting into cooking dude and i'm so into seafood i don't know if you know that i didn't know that i went to a seafood place last night burrow brine oh yeah of course fucking incredible i don't know it it's in uh williamsburg okay great spot incredible sasinos it used to be an omakase spot back in september but they switch it over to uh kind of a more modern thing omakase is overwhelming and it's oh it's it is they bring around the 14th round of sushi and you're like i'm gonna throw up no you're you get full from that dude i've had i've done it once by like they it gets more intense as you go on which it should be the opposite you should start with like this one's kind of disgusting but i'll eat it because it's new right you shouldn't be ending on that who made where did you who who made your fucking fear factor with that's what it felt like yeah mine was mine was like there were some weird things i've had it a bunch but yeah weird things in and here and there but it's i didn't think it was building and it's all this was like it was like we start off with like california rolls and then by the end they're like this is a stingray and you're like i i've had 15 california rolls i don't know if i have the appetite for stingray right now yeah exactly well fair enough but it is good i i i will say that omakase is the least filling dinner i've ever had really yeah i got i maybe i got peer pressured or something because by the end i was it was i was like the fullest i've ever been well they didn't have california rolls at the one i went i've never heard of california rolls at omakase you haven't been to good omakase you got a pinch of the sea salt i think the problem is is that's all we've been to this is so that's such a nice gift it's such that's really uh flavorful yeah it's uh so there's uh islands off the coast of washington called the san juan islands and oh i thought this was puerto rican no this is a different san juan different san juan yeah very different san juan it's uh like it's i mean how would you describe the san juans they're just like there's just like four or five water islands kind of actually up near vancouver but just like directly east a little islands up there yeah off seattle that's got some heat they have it they have to taste some of the salt have you had it it's got some kick have you had that salt yeah yeah no they're like this is like a pretty well-known brand it's like third trimester in your belly kick yeah can you take a pinch of that pack a lip of that holy cow be careful it's got some heat You want to pass that over? Let them get some of this salt. I don't want these boys not to have a pinch of this salt. Get a pinch, guys. Make sure it gets all the way around, though. That's unique. Get a pinch, fellas. Make sure it comes back to me. I've never really sampled salt before. Me either. It's more than just salt. It's more than just salt. There's a lot more. Seafood blend. Yeah, it's a full-on seafood blend. I feel like you could blacken something with that absolute heat. I've never blackened fish before, though. Yeah, like salmon fillets or something like that. I know there's some good fish out by you guys. Grouper fish. I blackened grouper. you guys fly fish at all no you guys got some good fly fishing yeah Seattle great some of the best I've ever seen you've been out there and done that yeah I chose there uh I was doing shows in Seattle and Portland last year and I went out a couple days early and went I forget what the river it was like the Yakima yep Yakima yep yeah that play that river is sick yeah get that saw kind of got a big old rainbow that's awesome I always wish I could get into fishing I'm reading old man in the sea by earning Ernest Hemingway you can it costs like $30 to get into it really yeah you can get a fishing rod at like Dick's Sporting Goods for like 15 bucks I just like never had family that fished growing up you gotta get into it I know it seems just awesome yeah especially where you guys live you guys could fish for anything yeah it's insane you brought me halibut recently yeah I went fishing off Oregon maybe six months ago yeah you know with like a guided tour type thing we went like two miles off the water and or out off the the land it's awesome man yeah yeah you guys were you just catching monsters it was like you think we could each catch like two or three halibut and then we caught some ling cod ling cod and then yeah just went back into town they cut it up for you know you put in all the styrofoam and gave him a couple pieces so it's like francis's dream it is yeah i went i we caught i caught some big stripers out in montauk and what you do is you bring them in and then you bring them to the the Chinese food restaurant in town and they take the whole fish and they create these big steaming platters of General Tso's striped bass that sounds incredible and it is is it like breaded unbelievable yeah it's just chunks of like you know fried striped bass in General Tso's so it's so good oh didn't what when we did that video where we caught the cobia didn't wasn't there something where we could have brought like if we were we weren't in the season where we could keep but if we were, we could have pulled up to a place that would have prepared it for us. Probably that place where we pulled up and that bar. Would they have taken them there? They said something about it. Yeah, they did. What are the best cities in the PNW as guys who hit all of I-5? What are some of the hottest ones? Obviously, we know the heavy hitters, but any underrated heat out there? Anything that's flying under the radar? are i think right across the bridge from seattle like a little bit what that's due east there's a town called bellevue i don't know if you guys heard of it but it's like that's where frank the tank's from yeah i i'd say it's like the nicer seattle cleaner less homelessness great shops and bars and it's like 20 30 minutes um gotta have a lot of you gotta be pretty pretty wealthy to break into the Bellevue market but I would say I'd be spending my time there if I could living on the lake beautiful skyline I think that's kind of the under the radar PNW town you gotta come visit if you guys do it there uh there's there's an island I don't know if it's an island but there's a something you take a ferry to that has like really nice houses on it Bainbridge is that what it is Yeah, so, and that's like, could be the San Juans too. You ever see like people taking seaplanes? You ever see any of that action out there? No, I mean, I haven't really been. The only time I ever did it, I was going out on that. We were going out to the island. I can't remember the name of it. Was it a short ferry ride? It was a car ferry. Yeah, yeah. And there was this guy, I'll never forget. He had a horse trailer and the horse started freaking out and kicked the door down and then ran out and jumped off the boat and then got carved up in the propellers. No. You're joking. I'm thinking of The Ring. I'm thinking of the movie The Ring. That's what it was. I feel like this would have made the news. It was The Ring. That was not my life. And there was a lot of blood. That was The Ring. Oh, my God. The American remake of The First Ring. That was the first scary movie I ever watched. Did you re-watch it recently? I just watched it. I just watched The Ring 1 for the first time. I'd seen 2 and 3. Ring 1 is brilliant, by the way. When you're saying The Ring 1, are you talking about the... The American one. I should have watched the Japanese one. Owen, have you seen these? I've seen the American one. I hadn't even known that it was a remake of a Japanese one. And of course, you know. Have you guys seen The Japanese Ring? No. Haven't. Haven't. Put it on the list. I didn't know that it was a remake. No, nor did I. But they did the grudge first too, right? I think the Japanese did the grudge first. Well, that would make sense because she's over there. Yeah, that's a long-haired. Yeah, and they just said, what if we put a white in the same exact movie? Yeah. They do that with a shit ton of movies. I know. Like most movies you can look up and it's like Korea or Japan made that movie. Yeah. 30 years prior. At least with The Ring, they had the decency to put it in Seattle. Yeah, yeah. the ring is so fucking scary yeah it is because the whole thing is like if you watch this you're dead yeah and you're watching it yeah so they're like they get you with that like a little inception death yeah yeah so okay yeah no you're good i was gonna say francis that story reminds us we had a incident like a year ago on a highway reminds us our chemistry is just off the fucking charts yeah you're thinking the same thing right we've been telepathically channeling there's a highway right off of i-5 like a year ago a zebra got loose out of the back of the carriage reminded me when you were talking about that story and the zebra was lost for like three or four days that's true story how could it possibly get lost in the woods so you can imagine everybody in the neighboring towns are looking for this zebra yeah finally found it but i think it was like a traveling circus going from one place to the next if you're talking about that horse story i go i know one with a zebra it was wild man it was in our news it was pretty crazy you think they I would find that rather immediately. You think? It was a forest of birch trees. Well, yeah. Like you mentioned, Harry, it's very easy to... Spot a zebra in the wild. Lose yourself in the woods out there. Yeah, that is true. You know? It's thick woods. If you want to disappear, it's probably the best place in the United States to do it. It 100% is. Yeah. 100% is. What is the evolutionary advantage of the zebra having stripes? It's camouflage. There is... Yeah. It's camouflage. To what? To what area? An old school prisoner. Yeah. That's how they escaped. The horse with the striped pajamas. That was a Japanese movie. You guys seen that? Yeah. They remade it. Classic. The Japanese original. The Japanese original was actually a horse with stripes. Do you think it's like a cardinal where it's like the more beautiful your stripes are, the more like horny you made them? 100%. Gotta be. Right? Beautiful, good-ass stripes. Yeah, I think everything eventually comes back to being horny. To fucking. fuck it yeah exactly which brings us back to your guys dms yeah you got people trying to fuck you all voice it's crazy it's crazy there's a lot of desperate women out there unfortunately maybe maybe not though maybe they're just like hot and just like they've never done this before and they just liked it you know yeah it's true love perhaps but i mean so like the only parts of our bodies that we put in our videos is our hands and people just abuse me like they're like oh those are the softest man hands I've ever seen. I'm like, I put one body part in the video and they find a way. Yeah, they're going to take what they can get. Yeah, dude. Oh, yeah. You have nice fingernails, though. Pretty shiny fingernails. Thank you. Do you feel like you have to take more care of them? Because that's your only representation to the world. It's kind of your best foot that you're putting forward. Yeah, those are million dollar hands. It certainly gets me to cut my fingernails on time. But anything more than that, not really. Do you guys ever think... Who does the – is it always alternating the driver? Yeah. Yeah. And then do you ever think about wearing driving gloves? Oh, some fingerless? Yeah. I've been thinking about it. I'm starting to think about it. Thinking about getting a pair? I'm starting to think about it. For what? Just to take my driving more seriously. Yeah. Kind of like straps you in. It gets you in the – you know, you wear the armor. You're going to drive. I think if you get driving gloves, though, you got to get at least like an insane steering wheel something yeah then for what i'll do on the steering wheel is i'll get those beads no no no no kind of cheetah print well i haven't figured out what print i want yet but i just want people to when they get in my car be like did you did you used to drive a cab in new york because this is the most ethnic setup i've ever seen i haven't thought about the beaded wheel the beaded wheel. Oh, he's right. Every Uber driver's got the beaded wheel. Is it nice on your hands? It must be. Maybe it's like for carpal tunnel. Yeah, maybe. Releases some sort of toxin. If you make a hard right turn, it sounds like rainfall. Yeah. It's like one of those sticks. Yeah, exactly. You guys switch cars? You guys are always the same car? We switch cars. So like I live 10 minutes from him. So I'll come. And he lives how far from you? I was like, geez. But I'll come over to his house in the morning, and then if I'm driving that day, I'll pick him up, or vice versa, I'll leave my car and then jump in with him. So we're going back and forth each time. I still didn't get the answer I was curious about. You are just driving with him to work, and then what do you do? I never got done telling you guys how sick my life is. So I joined, with the little money that we have earned, I joined the Equinox in Seattle. cool and they've got like a nice little co-working space there and so what we literally do is we drive in and if he's filming that he just airdrops me all the videos and then i'll go work out and then i sit down in the co-working space and i edit the video and i post the video and by the time he's done work and i'm usually just wrapping up wow it takes a whole work day yeah i mean we they mean there's probably like people always say like oh we want to do a ride along with you and i'm like the 55 minutes that you don't see is fucking boring like it's like we are just commuting Of course. They're like, oh, I'll pay whatever. And I was like, I don't want to charge you. You're just going to be in a car with two dudes. And then there's going to be five minutes of action. Are you on the hunt the whole time? Are you looking out the window the whole time? It's like if you do it, if you're like looking for it too much, it's like. You'll force it. You'll force it. Exactly. So like what we say, what do we say all the time, Craig? I say let the defense come to you. We don't say that. we say take what the defense gives you but you almost had something close to that I didn't think you were going to put it on the table we say let it come to you and take what the defense gives you but that was kind of a nice little hybrid action I like it let the defense it's probably the same thing with you guys on the podcast it's like if you over plan and over think about what you're going to say or what you're going to do it just doesn't it's not ever as funny as just like getting in the car and letting what happens happens the funny thing is is my job's remote i'm not we're not driving to go into an office so we're just getting out there to get out there so we just so i just work in the lobby next to equinox just getting on wi-fi and then why are you doing equinox i mean if you got we don't have the funds yet if you got if you got half a million followers yeah doing something Yeah, would you let being fired stop? Neither of you guys work in an office. No We did for six and a half years together Yeah yeah yeah and that was and you were filming that whole time How old is your page It only been posting I think we started in March of 24 So of 20 I think we about two three years two and a half, three years. Coming up on like two and a half years, probably. Yeah. Did you guys get like a bulk of your followers in the last year? Yeah, it's been insane. I mean, we go through these waves and like, I have no idea what happens. It's just like one day I'll wake up and we had 20,000 followers, 20,000 more followers than we did the day before. Yeah. Yeah. And it's just like, I have no idea why that happens. And it'll be like a video that we posted like three months ago. Yeah. That's just like taking the fuck off. And yeah. And so over the last 30 days, we've gotten like 92 or 93,000 new followers. That's crazy. I think they heard we were coming on the son of a boy deck. Yeah. I think it's the heat from son of a boy deck. expect another hundred I would I'd expect to lose some followers we've gone through phases of that too oh really yes that might be just bot removal or when they do those like cleanses oh no I check my metrics all the time I'm constantly just out with the old in with the new have you ever been able to like trace it to like a very aggressive tweet my friends actually sent me one of your tweets that you took down he has the screenshot of it what was it I delete a lot of tweets Dude, it was so funny. I was dying. It was a picture of Livvy Dunn and Justin Jefferson. And you quote tweeted it. And you were like, I know Bro Hatter's screaming. He's like, I know Bro Hatter's screaming. That was a banger. I was crying when I tweeted that. It was so funny. Dude, it was so funny. And then he was like, I'm telling you, my friends are like huge fans. Well, he said that you were like. You have to get the first reference that is from. Yeah, exactly. It was like a quote tweet under... It was a comment. It was like a hot couple posting each other. Yeah, yeah. And then the dude replied, and then some other dude replied to that dude and was like, I know you had her screaming. No, no. He said it to the girl. He was like, oh, I bet that tastes good. And he's like, oh, I know he had you screaming. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so fucking funny. He was like, yeah, this is one of his better tweets, but he took some heat, so he had to take it down. Yeah, I deleted it. I deleted tweets. I deleted two tweets last night. why trying to get some good epstein jokes off and they weren't hidden yeah felt bad honestly you want to run into back here what were they just tell us well i was with jerry and all them and i had a good we were watching the grammys and i was like it's crazy that they're all going to a kid fucking party after this got a big lot got a big laugh in the house and it just didn't translate over to yeah it's a shame jerry was like you got to tweet that and then i was like no no and then i walked upstairs and i was like maybe i should tweet that and then I tweeted it and I deleted it a minute later had no motion no motion zero motion really it was while the Grammys were going on which is like peak motion yeah you can tweet some trash yeah yeah you can put some fucking garbage online then still get a little bit damn it's a shame but you tried you know got it up there it's all good I swung any other heaters that your bros like of Harry's that's all I think that's all they sent me they were they sent me like they sent me some of your podcasts to watch. I don't think they miss an episode. These are like my three best friends, all guys that were in my wedding. And they sent me the episode that you guys did after the Trump shooting where you guys were like on Zoom. And he goes, this is the best post-assassination coverage that you're going to get. That was one that we had to re-record. Oh, yeah. Right? Yeah, you guys started. You were like, we just canned an episode. Yeah, we did an episode where we made a joke about Trump being shot. Right? Right before. And then the day before it was coming out, he got shot. Then we were like, oh, fuck. Wow. I think that's what happened. Your guys' coverage was incredible, though. It was. Really good stuff. Solid. Really good stuff, gentlemen. You should see it. He actually got shot. I don't think he did. I don't think he got shot. Trump? Yeah. Fake. Yeah, I mean, a lot of people are saying a lot of shootings are fake these days. A lot of. Yeah. There's a lot of fake shit going on in this country. A lot of fake shootings. He was keeping a small razor in his spandex. Something like that. To cut that ear. He did the Shawn Michaels. Yeah. Which was like, oh. Yeah. He was freaking out. And we can make that joke because he didn't die. Exactly. He died, you know what I mean? Yeah, true. Because he fucks kids. So you guys. Yeah. It's all fair game. Yeah, you can say anything. Spinning him on his finger like a basketball. is fucking disgusting. Can you guys, you guys have to keep it pretty PG in your shit. You're dropping F-bombs, but it's like PG-13, I guess. I wouldn't say that. Pretty R? I mean, R? I think PG-13, a little R. I mean, we're not making like racist jokes. You're right. No nudity. We do no politics. We stay away from politics. But no fucking chance it was real that he got shot. no politics but back to the trump thing oh my god no yeah i mean like in the in the case that we do get exposed i think we're trying to save face a little bit but well i don't know how you could even put politics in what you're doing right yeah it's like it's true not necessarily our lane i guess people always find a way oh yeah i was watching the grammys last night yeah Pusha T came out Fresh off fucking the kid Well he was the guy That got the drugs To sedate the kids Yeah exactly So That was crazy Pusha T was all over the files He was performing at the Grammys An hour later Yeah Damn Pusha T No no you're exactly right Him and Jay Z Jay Z too But Jay Z was at the Grammys Jay Z's out of the country He left the country Yeah he's like They can't extradite me Yeah Wow Hong Kong will not extradite wanted to own. He was fucking he was out of there fucking fast. Oh my god. He fucking bailed hard. Yeah, I couldn't believe it. There's so many names. The craziest part was Bill Gates. Yeah. Bill Gates was he got a a STD and was and he was mashing antibiotics in his wife's applesauce. Like he was trying to feed a kid pills. Yeah. Where's this? Dude, your listening face is preposterous. I was like, what did I just hear? I think we missed the latest batch of the FC files I don't know what you guys are talking about I haven't spoken because I'm a few pages behind as well You guys gotta get up to date It's bad It's everyone you know It's like everyone you've ever heard of Dude, like they're saying Zoran Mondani's mom is in it Yep Like everyone's in it Figures Everyone It's crazy Russell Wilson Yep, Russell Wilson Gino Smith Jamie Foxx was at the Grammys last night They got Russ and Gino Yep. Wow, dude. I guess trying to buy... Sam Darnold's next? Russell Wilson was trying to buy Epstein's plane. Yeah. What the fuck is that? Whoa. Fucking freak. Well, he probably heard that it had bulletproof windows and was jacked up and safe for landing in Newark. Yeah, that's fucking nasty. Yeah, crazy times. You guys got to read that on the flight back. What'd you guys watch on the flight out? Anything good? I just watched the Farmer's Insurance Open. I watched the golf all the way here, five hours straight. Yep. I got YouTube TV. Craig, absolute stick. Like, very, very good golfer. Cool. Very, very good golfer. Nice. I won't say what country club, back-to-back Masters champion at his country club. Really? Run it back. What do you mean? Are you all right? His country club does like a Masters. It's like their biggest tournament every year, and he's won it back-to-back years. That's pretty crazy. I can play. I'm really good when I'm with him. Set up the two-on-two, but with them in the full outfits. There you go. Let's do it. We would do that. He would really impress you. I'm such a better player when I'm with him. Because he'll be like, use this club. Swing it this way. He doesn't even have to tell you. He just thinks it. You just absorb it. I have to ask Francis every time. I'm like, what club? I literally have no idea. I would say 98% of the time, it's Six Iron. Yeah. Doesn't matter where we are. Yeah. It's his favorite club. Six Iron. Let's hit a light Six Iron here. Is it a heavy Six Iron? i've gotten so six i've gotten so reliant on him that when i golf without him i'm just fucking terrible yeah and i think i've golfed with you enough where you're like oh we're just like 125 yards out and i'm like yeah gonna need more than that yeah yeah what's your what's your index i'm a plus one oh my god i played in college so i did i played my whole life bro we know exactly who you I chose golf from an early age, so it's always been my sport. Cool. Fuck yeah. You went in high school? Played in high school. Hell yeah. Played in college. No, he picked it up in college. I guess that was a retarded question. Just started at D1. We've been Sam Altman and Scotty Sheffler the whole time. I played in high school, too, so I tipped the cap. There you go. There you go. You look good on the- Just a couple computers. I watched your guys' round with the foreplay guys. Oh, yeah. You look good out there. You did. Nice. Thank you. That's why you guys got to run it back. What do you mean? Like I'm saying, they play again against you guys. We'd love it. We'd love it. Go out to Seattle with them. Maybe we'll come out that way. Fish week? Fish week Adels probably got some insane courses. Seattle fish week? Dude, if you guys come out, we'll fucking show you. We'll set it. We'll find a spot for sure. I like it. Fish week. Tacoma fish. That would be insane. I wonder if your club would let you play in that attire. We've done it. We've done it. We've done a video out there. And they loved it. We didn't tell them we were doing it. Cool. we didn't we weren't sure that they knew what they didn't they didn't they didn't know that he was the guy yeah they had no idea right and so we did like a round and we were just like fucking around filming and then like the club pro reached out to you right yeah totally and this isn't like a nice nice country club so i don't want to get you too excited when you guys come out but we're not gonna come all the way there for that no no no we find a better course we'd find a better course for sure we would come back out here to golf with you guys yeah for sure for sure yeah we would love that if you guys ever have shows out there we should do like a we could pick you from the airport. Oh, that's fun. That's a good idea. Get you back on the shoulder. Yeah, sort of like a carpool karaoke meets cash cab. Okay, I have this idea for a show. Can I pitch it to you guys? Because I feel like you do a lot of shows. You're around a lot of ideas. Can you tell me if this is a good idea or not? Sure. So it's like carpool karaoke meets MTV Cribs. We find celebrities. how do celebrities get from point A to point B? How does Travis Kelsey get from the airport to where he's going? How does Meek Mill in his bulletproof G-Wagon get from one area of Philadelphia to another area of Philadelphia? That's so nice. A little ride with me. Yeah. Yeah, maybe play some tunes, yell at some pedestrians that are walking too slow. Do you think they do that? Do you think Meek Mill's doing that? it's one of the greatest joys of my life being able to fuck with pedestrians in a car but I do think that other people what percentage of the population is hollering out the window? I could see me not being a huge fan of our content now that you mention it what percent do you really think that people like actually fuck with other people on the road? I think it's less than 5% we've had a lot of like celebrities follow us really? so like I think we could convince some of our people that follow us to do it knowing that they already like enjoy oh I think they could I'm asking what percent of the population I want to know your thoughts on this too How many people in the car are fucking with people on the road I guess you don't really do that You yell out your window at people No I don't really do that You're not like hey dog nice human or anything like that Oh that's funny I haven't heard that Who's walking whom That's funny Or you do the beep and you wave But you look the other way So the person looks at you You're going slow past somebody you beep and they like look at you but you're waving the other direction the home car is this is the show you know really good quiver he's got a deep quiver it's so yeah we should we should do the we could do the first one with you it'd be my dream swerve somebody as they're in the crosswalk and they like fall over and then you get like a light felony a couple years later they find out it was you so you have seen our content before today yeah of course that's just that's crazy people actually watch it and like it it's so hard for me to my buddy mike would send it to me all the time shout out mike yeah shout out mike shout out mike legend an absolute legend in the game he just loved to fuck around and your respect for good loads on trucks people love that shit they love it because you think about how much time that really does take to really secure a nice load on a flatbed oh yeah it just it doesn't happen overnight precision too though like you just have it's like making your bed right like how the japanese will make a perfect bed in like four seconds there's probably just a way you couldn't stack it and rack it and just get it right Japanese always do it first. The amount of ones we see that people just half-ass it with just flaps going all over the place. It's pissing rain and their wood's getting... Who let you leave the lot with a load like that? What are you doing? My sister was driving this weekend and a sheet of ice came flying off somebody else's roof and smoked her windshield, shattered her windshield. Damn. Bad road etiquette. No, I would love to get a ruling on this one from the fellas. oh yeah absolutely bad i think it's illegal to leave your driveway or parking spot without dusting your car off i'm pretty sure and that's probably the windshield for sure but the roof too i mean it wasn't dusting it was like this much it fucking cracked i'm pretty sure like you have to get the snow off your car like it's really i i think no i think that is true what i think that is right yeah yeah i'm not 100 sure but like another very surprising fan base of our page state patrol. Oh yeah. Loves us. They're probably writing down license plate numbers. Yeah. Yeah. And we interviewed a state trooper and he was saying like a big percentage of highway deaths are due to unsecured loads. So he's like what you guys are doing I know you're like being funny but like it's actually probably saving lives. Hell yeah. You hear that? That's huge. Final destination. Yeah. Yep. The log and final destination. Dude the log trucks freak us out. we have so many of them because there's so much timber moving around that part of the country yes timber industry so much timber going around yeah and is that coming from i mean oregon is obviously the real timber capital of america yeah yeah and they're where are they going they're coming up through seattle area we got we got plenty of timber up a lot of timber coming both ways so is it going south it's going everywhere so i actually learned about this recently they used to like cut trees down and they would just throw the logs in the river yeah and let them like go downstream and then whoever needed it like picked it up on the way down but yeah so it's like i think it just goes everywhere it goes all over the country the the trees out by us wow yeah that's spooky as hell the unsecured load very spooky that's nasty very spooky you see some real bang-up jobs out there yeah but yeah good load management is fucking ideal for sure a lot of oversized a lot of oversized see the oversized thing though like i think we're giving out the oversized a little too much these days. It's like him with meetings. A lot of meetings. I got a meeting after this. Of course he does. Our second episode. That's true with us. Have you guys thought about doing the pod? I haven't seen the pod yet. You do it in the car? No. Do it in my garage. What about doing it in the car? It's just too hard. They have to do it in their garage because every business and fucking that Silicon Valley and the West Coast it's a good start up we did do one last night in my hotel room that is true you should see how small my hotel room it is hilarious what are you staying at Naloft or something no no no I don't think is that a nice one no we couldn't afford that this is like the Citizen Citizen M yeah you know that one of course you know what the rooms look like it's the smallest fucking place I've ever been the bed goes from one side of the wall to the other side of the wall so we both sat on my bed doing the podcast last night. Like Drake and Bobby in the bed together. As like the fucking colors change of the room. Yeah. What the fuck is going on with that? I fuck with that to be honest. The iPad's not bad. Not bad. You're right. The iPad. Changing the lights. The TV. A long bus ride in Vietnam or something like that. You're just like kind of wedged in there. I hated it when they first booked me there because we were traveling for work and they were both staying at the Four Seasons. I was at the Citizen M. It happens. I'm not going to sweat it. It happens. Oh, wait. Hold on. No, no. I'm over-exaggerating. We were not at the same hotel, but we were both at good hotels. It was the three bears. Yeah. I had the porch that was just right. Yeah. Yours was too hot. Yours was too cold. And I was in the Citizen M. And I was pissed at first, but once I got the iPad in my hands, I was satisfied. How about the toilet meeting the shower? I did not like that at all. That's crazy. Wild. It's insane. Yeah. I kind of like it. You could kill two birds with one stone. You could just shit in the shower if you want. You could be fully lathered up. And there's no divider between the shower and the floor either, right? No, it's all in there. Just spilling out. Very Japanese. Yes. Very Japanese. They're big on all of this. Dude, I saw a Japanese... Japan sells jerk-off rooms on a one-hour thing. Oh, yeah? It's places where only dudes can go, and you just go and be off. Just crank. And crank, yeah. It's just like if you want to get out of your house to crank. It's not a bad idea. Yeah. not bad they're bigger than the apartments but it's like yeah it's like i guess it's nice i don't know but just like cranking in the i don't know in like the communal space yeah yeah where other men have quite literally go ahead come before you yeah standing in the footsteps of men who have literally come before me yeah that's insane yeah it's kind of nasty yeah i uh i gotta get to japan i think i'm ready to go i think i'm just gonna go just to shop so i'm gonna go for like four days go stop over in i will in washington please your parents are just yes are you a guitar player yeah so i guess my parents were just there so if you're into fender they've got the only fender storefront in the world so if you really yeah it's really cool like three stories like beautiful art you know super super like high-end guitars so if you're into that i definitely stopped through i'm embarrassed is fender made in japan i guess they use like a japanese wood over there but it's the only like storefront in the world yeah obviously you can get him yeah but you want you want something that sounds japanese bro yeah you want something that has a little fendo is she nakazaki yeah taika tagahaki yeah sometimes yeah you need some syllables yeah yeah they really do yeah go shop bring a guitar back yeah sure will sure will that'd be so ridiculous pack wrap it in denim yep i'm gonna have it all fucking wrapped up i got so much stuff to buy man the yen so weak is it the dollar's getting weak though isn't it i don't know isn't it boys that's like 50 cents right now dollars at 50 cents to what a dollar to yesterday's dollar it's not good chopped in half bad just like that it just got cut in half yep yeah i am dude right for once he's exactly right all right well you guys are awesome um check out i5 commuters yes that's the page right yes i5.commuters on just about everything yeah hell yeah very cool and is the podcast same name yeah we don't really have a name for it yet it's just like on our youtube page yeah we're just kind of going by the seat of our pants right now nothing wrong with that yeah what about just commuters just call the show commuters i guess i don't fucking know unless it's taken our handle for our pod is at show on the road pod okay that's nice yep so that's a name that's a name right there that's the name of the show right we didn't fucking talk about this i prefer i it helps the seo fucking ron had a really good idea cool thank you guys thank you for having me thanks for the presence yes but on his behalf he's very grateful for the weed you're welcome it's good stuff my ears are ringing from the salt too does that usually happen to you no alright cool thank you guys Thanks guys. Great. Awesome. We're good. Sweet. We'll be right back. Came around I was only falling one way I was only falling one way Days were drifting Who was I? I'm sorry. So then you listen. Now I come alive. I was only falling one way. I was only falling one way. I was only falling one way. I was only falling one way Vanished to your right Did you realize No one can take me alive I was only falling one way See just a distant light Be fast forever bright Call it just a memory Take my hand and you can see I'm gone Thank you. Managed to your eye Did you realize No one could take me alive