Rudy Shoots Her Shot with Marcello Hernandez

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Oh, no, we didn't. But... I mean, the main room. You're in the main room and what happened? And then I'm doing okay. I looked at my right. There's... Richie in the front row. Why are you sitting in the front row? Well, I didn't mean to. I was like, what tickets? Because my friend was in town and he's a huge comedy fan. So I was like, oh, cool. Let's go to the store. He wasn't laughing. He just had a permanent smile. Does it what he was doing? Yeah, freaky. Freaky, dude. Freaky, really? Freaky me out, dude. Well, I was nervous. You're freaky! No! You are. You're freaky, dude. Did I tell you? Yeah, I saw my money supreme. I heard it's good. It's great. Yeah. It's like five movies in one. Are you being positive or negative? Positive. It's a lot of... It's a lot of stories in one. We discussed this the other day. It's a lot. It's awesome, but it's like a lot of film. You could have made people get annoyed by this. You could have made a great limited run series TV show out of it. Oh, I see. Because there are so many sub stories going on, like so many different stories that like, you know, you could have... This could have been stretched out. Did you see it? No. Yeah, yeah. I can't believe you didn't see it. I'm really full of anxiety right now. Why? Because next week's the weekend. What is it? I'm special. I know you're taping. You know, you're so... You could have said something funny that happened a couple years ago. I call Abby, my manager. And she... I go... Did she have a phone? No. I do a smoke thing. Bobby needs me. Yeah. I go, well, what about intro music, right? How much does that cost? And this and that. And she goes... She goes... Why don't you just use a public domain song? Like a just like a from a from a free library. Really? Imagine this. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, Bobby Lee, take me out to the whole game. Look up the amazing graces one. Happy birthday to... Happy birthday to you. That'd be such a funny song to come out to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, public domain. I mean, it would give you like a couple of minutes up top to joke about it. If you did happy birthday. Yeah, maybe. I feel like, hey, man, we can't afford any of we can't afford a lot of it. Yeah. Are you excited to shoot? I don't know if excited is the word. It's just like an anxiety, not anxiety, really. You've worked so hard on this. I know, but... The hour is going to be fucking amazing. It's going to break records. It's going to get nominated. It's going to break records. It's going to be the highest viewed special on Hulu in history. I have really bad jokes in it. Well, that doesn't mean it's not going to be watched. You know what I mean? Plenty of things that were bad were watched by a lot of people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know? Yeah, that's true. Okay. So bad is good. Right? Bad is good. Michael Jackson. Bad. Good. Yeah. So bad. It was... He meant bad. To name an album bad. Yeah. It's good. Yeah, it's good. So it should be probably bad. Yeah, bad, yeah. Everyone's going to family. The family's going to. I'm sorry. I can't be there. It's okay. I saw her in Hawaii. Swimming in the ocean. Yeah, yeah. I saw, bro. Shaka. Ocean girl. Yeah. Yeah. You're swimming for like three days straight, huh? Mm-hmm. That's got to be so freeing. How nice. She gets to do that. Yeah. No responsibility. No responsibility. This is swimming in the ocean three days. Free. Yeah, man. Hey, everybody. I use app. Hey, man. Look how silky my hair is. Oh, my. Shout out to a collage company, ebb. You're doing commercial. The commercials are great. Yeah. Yeah, you're acting. I see her acting in it now. Oh. Are there any times of work she's making you do it and you don't want to do it? Sometimes. And she convinces you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. How long, when you go out to the ocean and you guys go for a dive day or whatever, how long are you in the water and the water for? I think Max is like four or five. Five hours a long time. Too long time being in the water. But they can just live out there. Well, they're from down there. Yeah. I know. But they love the water. You were born on your water. weren't you? Your mom had you underwater. Yeah. Can I get the greatest moment of my life? I better be included. You're not there. You're not there. Interesting. It's like one of the most peaceful moments of my life. Oh, I wasn't there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. When you're around, I get through like you know me. Yeah. Lumpen your throat. Yeah. I get sore. Yeah. Yeah. You get through. You're right. I know. My whole body hurts. When you're around me. Oh, yeah. You get me too. Yeah. Yeah. We all went to the Philippines and, uh, what? Lumpen. And you know how they have like millions of the, not millions, but thousands of little islands Yeah. around. You can take a little boat, you know, mean to like a super, super small island. Right. Like a beautiful day. And uh, what's on those little tiny islands? One tree sometimes. That's it. Yeah. Yeah. Like one or two trees. Wow. Yeah. So we went on this island and I was, it's so blue the water. Yeah. And I was floating on my back in the water. Right. Where it's like, you know, me, you kind of, you can hear the ocean bobbing in and out of your ear. But they could also hear the people. So they were like playing games on the, on the beach. That's where you were. So you can hear, you know, I mean, them, just you just hear laughter and joy. But you're also hearing the sea, right? And I closed my eyes and it was the ultimate peace, peace I've ever felt. And enjoy. You're resented. Yeah. But, you know, um, when it, it's a funny spot when I was at, um, that treatment center for trauma, right? We, you know, we did this thing where it's like, if you do this, right? And you think about your, um, that one, that was my experience, thinking, think of an experience where you're truly peaceful. And I, I, I got hypnotized. And if I do this, apparently it takes me back, but it never works. It never works. It never does. It worked. Yeah. It's like, um, yeah, exactly. What's your most peaceful moment? I think I talked about it on the show. It was, um, had we done bad friends yet? He was just in the beginning. Okay. And then I, um, no, right before, it was actually right before that, I had been six years ago. And I hung out with these people and had a great day. And then I met up with Dermur and got some phenomenal seafood. And then we went to Al-Qai Beach and rented, um, uh, long boards, you know, paddleboards and I went out on the board and I was just laying out there in the ocean. And there's a similar oddly similar story. Yeah. And I was just laying on it, just kind of letting the slow, slow wake take me. And I was like, I could die right now. Mmm. Al-Qai Beach. It was one of those moments that I just, I don't know why it was perfect. It was just beautiful and perfect out on the water. Something about it. It was weird. It was like everything aligned. And then the show that night was a fucking awesome. Yeah. It was like that club in Seattle. Carler life. Yeah, parlor. Yeah, I love that club. Where you had to go through the bar. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was the club where that, um, native guy didn't let me in, remember? Oh, yeah, that's the same club. It's right. Well, they closed down. I know they did. That's because of you. It was. It was. No, no. Yes, you got that native, it was a big deal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, that's your most peaceful. That was just a moment that, like, you reminded me of when I, I've talked about that before, it just made me feel like, um, amen. Everything is okay. Yeah. And it was for a little bit. What's your most peaceful moment? Um, they can't include the water because we're doing that. What does that mean? They usually does. I know you're right. You can do it in the fluid water. I think the first time I, um, freedived with Atikali and I was able to go really deep and I just stayed there for like a long time. How long can you hold your breath for? Not that long, maybe just like a minute. I'm like a half or something. You stayed down there for about a minute. You were peaceful for 45 seconds. Yeah. It was so nice. Uh-oh. And did you come back up and you felt like I want to keep going down as far as I can? Mm-hmm. And the freedived thing scares me. Yeah. Toot toot, no, no, no. I belong up top. So the swim, the sharks, oh, we used to do that bullshit. It was so fun. No, it's bullshit. It was so nice. You don't need to swim with those guys. I'm not doing that anymore. It doesn't make sense. Yeah. I want to swim with that really big, great white shark. Oh, okay. Aren't they all big? No, this one is like the- Like one that one lady does? Yeah. What's her name? I first. I saw that documentary, that lady that swims with the great white sharks. Yeah, that one. Yeah. What is that for? What do you get out of that besides almost kill? Oh, relationship. You can develop a relationship. This isn't the octopus teacher. I know. Look at that. Would you do that? What I do. I mean, in what fucking world would I want it? He look at how fat that guy is. Get him on a GLP one. Yeah. But he hasn't died, so it means the shark's fine. Yeah, he's eating everything in sight. Yeah. He'll live forever. She's got a bag of in-and-out burgers. Is that what that is? You can't see it, but yeah. Double-dry-ball. Yeah. By the way, that is so fat fucking shark, dude. Dude, that- Oh, he's a little choked. He's so scary. So cool. He's so fat he can't turn around, though. He can't get you if you're behind him. Yeah. I mean, no, absolutely not. What's cool about that? I think- They kill humans. I don't mind. Come on. You don't mind being killed? No. I mean, they'll tear off an arm. What a bummer. That's a bummer. That's a bummer. That's a bummer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a bummer. If you're gonna lose a limb, which one are you gonna lose? My left leg, but I don't know. Left leg is good. Yeah, yeah. It's pretty useless, I guess. I understand that. Ocean Ramsey and- You can hide prosthetics legs with the new high-tech, you know what I mean? Great tech. Right? Yeah. So you can wear jeans, put a prosthetic on. Yeah. You can still kind of, you know what I mean? Walk around, right? But with an arm, I think it's harder to hide. It's impossible. Yeah, although the hands now are looking pretty wheelistic. They're getting better. Yeah, but you can't go like this or, you know what I mean? Or shock out or anything like that. You can't do, you can't do- Oh, shock out, yeah. No shock out there. Or unless you can go- You can do shock out here if you bend it. Push it down. Push it down. Like it's kingpin with that fake hand. Like, let me see. Yeah, they're getting really good. Whoa, dude. That's me. Look at how- Wow, I didn't really- It's getting good, it's getting good. Yeah. The amount of these that are going to get stuck up someone's ass though. Yeah. The rubber one. So that's what you need metal so you- That's so- You kind of want to- You lose in a hand just to get that. No, you do. Yeah, you look at how cool that looks. Okay, dude. Yeah, I mean- You can- It's mind controlled, bionic arm, so your brain is- Your brain does it. And now Nike has that one shoe where it has- It's attached to your ankle and it helps you. What? Right? Yeah. Nike has a shoe that like is- They can now get where it's like- I think it helps you walk. What? It gives you more proportion. I don't know what the word is. Yeah, proportion's gotta be right. Yeah, yeah. That. Wow. So it straps onto your ankles. Yeah, your ankle onto the shoe. And it makes you go faster? Uh-huh. I don't know if it makes you go fast- It can. I think, yeah. Oh, let's get those. How much are those? You're gonna get it right. Mine. I don't. How much are those fucking- It looks awesome. I don't. I mean, that's incredible. I'm not out or even planning on coming out yet. Okay, hey Nike. Yeah, yeah. Send these to us. Yeah, those are cool. Let us be the first- Let us be the test rabbits for the- Imagine they have like World Clant Champion runners doing them- And then they send them to us. Yeah. These are supposed to calm your mind down. They come out this week. When you step on it, it hits those balls and it sends something to your brain that relaxes you. They're called the Nike Mine Toos. I want those to- I want those to, too, too. They're doing it. How do they keep doing it? I don't know. They do. They got to be stealing from Japanese people. Yeah, no, no, that's definitely fucking- It's stolen from Japanese people. I repr- No, what's it called? Um, would it put the needles? Hockey puncture. Like all the nerves and the- Yeah, all- Stealing from the Japanese? There's it stealing it from it. Yeah. Yeah, that- Wow. I really want- But you think it's psychological? Of course. Yeah, yeah. It's placebo, but it also- But also, they've shown that like, as the shoe has advanced, it does do really good things for your- Like when you're running long distances, like a really good running shoe does things well for your brain. Mm-hmm. Because there's so much in your feet. Yeah. There's so much in your feet. It's got- Have you ever seen like the reflexology stuff about like when they find these trigger points in your feet? No. It like one thing is release of stress at certain places and something- It's all connected. Like this works when you do this. Yeah. For headaches and stuff. Crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why does that work? I don't know why that works. I don't want to know. That freaks me out. It freaks me out. Like we found it where the motherboard is. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But maybe those shoes- We gotta get those for us. Please get those for us here. What else is other high-tech shoes that are coming out? We gotta get more shoes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Slut. Slut. We're Bluetooth, Nike's. They- They're speakers? No, they- They just tied like from an app. And they would get tight when I would press tie my shoes. That's cool. That's kind of cool. That's like auto-laces from back to the future. Yeah, I had that. You had those shoes? No, I had like the modern version before you was ago. Or one of the tennis shoes that turns and skates. Sick. No, but there's like- Ice skates are roller skates. Roller skates, but they're getting better now, I think. Yeah, those- The mags, the Nike mags. Those are the ones from back to the future. What do those do? Self-lacing. Remember from back to the future? Wow. You know what I really wanted? What? Those were sick. They also wanted the drying jacket. Oh. Drying mode. Oh, right. That was so cool. And he came out of the rain like, it dried. And how far away it was from hoverboard? What the fuck are they waiting for? Oh yeah, what are we- Let's get that going. Yeah, well how are we- Yeah, well how are we not doing hoverboard? They invented that 30 years ago in film. We can't get it done. Yeah, that's not the thing. That's not the hoverboard dude. That's clicked on shopping. They got to be close to getting that. If you make the ground like magnet, you know- Then you can do it. But think about it. How do you slow down or stop? All right. You're fucked. You're fucked, A.A.A.A. You know like they're creating the train that goes from L.A. to Vegas. It doesn't it use magnets? Isn't it magnet propulsion? Let me ask you something. Okay. Would you rather, you know, mean us focus our energy on either high-tech stuff just for like everyday household goods or only high-tech stuff for your health? Oh, that's such a good question. You're in? Because I think that health is probably more beneficial, but my God would it be better around the house? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I'm talking about hoverboards, you know, mean all that kind of stuff, you know, mean, but it's like- Yeah, fuck health. Let's do that. No. We're all gonna die. I know, but health, you could extend your life for 20 more years. Why? Exactly. Because if you're a hundred, you're gonna feel like shit. Yeah. There's no way, because they can't make your bones get younger. Yeah. But what if they can? No. They can't- You like improve your body and just get you abs and like- I think one day they're gonna give us an ability to take your fucking brain and get a new body. Well, they're doing already, doing head transplants. Richie's interested. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sky loves heads. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you- I think they're experimenting with it, but it's like, would you- Okay, if you- No successful lasting head transplant with animal experience, showing limited survival days to weeks and partial function, but I'm telling you, dude, they're coming. They're coming. If they're gonna get there. Whose body do you want? Okay, so- No, no, no, no, no. Very- Now, listen, I'm thinking I'm more- If they preserved it, I'm more- Gary Coleman. I know- I always wanted to be a little black eye. What do you think? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is such a good lineup. Yeah, yeah. Your Asian head on a little black body. A little black body. A little black body. We- On a sitcom right away. Right away. Yeah, I mean- The work you- And money. Mr. Cooper, stop. That'd be cool. What-what body would you want? Wait a minute. World's first volunteer of head transplant fails to accept a surgery for a lack of funds from Russia, so this guy was down to do it. So he- He get a- Able body as well. What? Because he's- Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's- He wants a new body because he's- He's- Fully paraplegic. A paraplegic, yeah, yeah. Right, so he wants a mobile body. Yeah. But even if he did give it to him, he wouldn't know what to do with it. What do you mean? He's never had one. You know, what does he- He- I mean- Well, you can go dancing with Richie. He- He- Him and Rich are both doing the same. Blood vessels are being linked with tubes so they- So they're trying to do it. Yeah. But this is old. They've- They've been tried. This was over a decade ago they tried with this rush. But no, but now I think they're- It's about to happen, I think. We're gonna do it? Yeah, yeah. Try. Are we really gonna do it? I mean, by the way, Russia shout out. They would try it first. Yeah, we will try. Fuck it. They don't give a shit, dude. They don't give a shit, yeah, yeah. How it's supposed to work theoretically, cooling. Both donor and recipient heads and bodies are cool to slow cell death. Connection, key blood vessels, uh, the jugulars and the carotus- Are connected to first maintain blood flow to the brain, potentially using a special plasma. Spinal cord fusion. Because we do those- Don't we do fusion, spinal cord fusion now? For people that are getting like, like, credit, tragic car accidents and stuff? Other connections and nerves and trachea, asophagus are reconnected. But- But you're kept in a coma for weeks to allow the healing for the body, and then they hope you can come out of it. But when do you get the body, though, to somebody volunteer like, You can have my body, I'm gonna die? I'm sure it's someone that just died. But- From died from what, though? Is that what- You know what I mean? Like I want his body. Okay, if you- If you get into a car accident, right? That's how they use all your organ parts if you're still young and good. You have the body's damage if you're in a car accident. If you- You died from impact from a car accident. The body's no good. That's my point. Where do you get the body? Gun shot to the head. I'll get that's the only scenario. Gun shot to the head. Keep the body on ice. Would you donate your head to science, Jules? Yeah. Would you donate all your organs? All of them? Yeah. Everything. I don't mind. You don't care. No. Yeah, good. Good for you. Less thing about the head transplant. So, touching your brain old? Like if you get a 22 year old guy's body, right? But your brain's still old. But imagine using that body with the knowledge that you have. But could- Would that extend your life, you think? Sure, of course. A little bit. Because isn't part of your- Isn't part of your physical existence, your mental health and happiness? So you would be happier because you're like, wow, I'm got this young body. I feel less pain. Wow. First human head transplant two years away says a surgeon. See? That was a decade ago. Oh, fuck. No update. Well, on this note, you know what day it is today? Happy birthday. Is it? It's Martin Luther King Day. Is it today? It's today. Oh my god. Did you have a dream? Have you ever had a dream? I have a dreaming. You guys used to have a bit like that? Martin Luther King? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is it? I have a dreaming. The white people would do the own laundry. Like that. Is that kind of bit? That's a great bit. Yeah. Yeah. Look at him playing pool. MLK. Running the fucking table. Dude. No, I have a dream. Eight ball side pocket. That album was really good. You draw air pond in his ear? Yeah. Oh. You're laughing at you. I love it. I want to bottle that up. Put it in a genie bottle. 300 years. 300 years. Somebody finds it open. I imagine he collects laughs. Yeah. You do. You have a candle laughs at home. In little jars, right? Nice to the heads and gross. I just get scared for these women that go over there and see all these heads. Yeah. Yeah. When does that send me to girl over? Like, not that long ago. Two weeks ago. Okay. But actually not two weeks ago because that was growing. How many times do you wash your sheets? He's honest. He's like sheets. We have to have sheets. Yeah. I try my best. Anytime somebody comes over, it's an instant wash. But like me personally, just me, like, week or two. That's good. A week or two. Week or two. And then what it was usually two if it's just me. What about you? When do you change your sheets? Change my sheets? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it was a lot of bone and going on. Like if we're getting them sloppy. Yeah. Every like five days. Okay. But if there's not bone and a week and a day or so, it's almost like eight or nine days. Yeah. But if we're hooking up a lot of it's a fun month. Yeah. Then you got to flip them like every, because then they just get nasty. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. But like, yeah, I'd say five days, five to eight depending on the level of bone juice. What about you? Every day. You change them every day. Well, I did until their mom left. Well, you didn't do it. You had someone else change them every day. Her mom. Your mom would change your sheets every day. Every night. Yeah. She would wash them every day. I have like so many sheets. Yeah. But she would just cycle through and wash them all the time. Wow. I'm a king. Feet me grapes. You're allergic to grapes. Yeah. Yeah. Not every day, but she would do it once every four days, I think. That's pretty standard. Yeah. I think for a guy like you who lives in the lifestyle that you live. Yeah, I cannot sleep. I've tried without taking a shower. Oh, at night. Yeah. Interesting. Tim Dylan was like, yeah, man, just sleep without taking a shower. I do it all the time. No, it's nice to get into bed clean. Yeah. So I tried it and at four in the morning, I got to take a shower. Right? I mean, how do people sleep without taking a shower? I'll tell you what I've been doing though. Yeah. So I've had to shower again at night, even if I just shower. I've been going on the hot tub because the hot tub in the rain. Oh, my God. Hot tub in the rain. It's the best. It's the best thing in the world. Wow. Hot tub in the rain to me is just something about it. You're like, I feel like Andy do frame when he swam to the pipes of poop. Oh, yeah. You come out clean on the other side. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what it is. I don't know what it is. Hot tub in the rain. Yeah, yeah. It's life changing. They would have found me in that fucking tube. Like 20 years later, I would have never made it out of there. You made it like 15 feet. They would just see my Korean skeleton in there. How long would you last in that poo? I there's no way. I could never do it. I could never do it. Well, no, if your life is on the line, if you need, if you knew that was freedom, and it was how many football, football fields? Four. Four football fields. Yeah, yeah. Four football fields are crawling through poo. God, would you be able to do it? I think you at some point would just check out mentally and just be like, it would just be, it would be muscle reflex just like go, go, go, go, go. You would just get used to it. And you'd run out of throw up at some point. Oh my god. You did nothing left. You would get some in your mouth. Buh. Buh. Just get used to it. This last, you know what I mean? I know. Yeah. You would do it for freedom. Yeah. For freedom. And then what happens if you got out and there was no rain? He was lucky. He found a rainy day. There's no rain. You're just like shit. There's no, uh. Yeah. Yeah. Look at that guy covered in shit right at the streets. Yeah. Poo man. Yeah. That's Andy DeFran. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, you covered him poop. Yeah. He's lucky there was rain. He was, that was a lucky day for him. Stephen King. Yeah. And you know what's so funny? That's a great pairing because he wrote it because the, the thunder strikes are when he decided to hit the rock on the pipe. He waited till it rained. That was a part of it. Oh, that's right. The thunder. Had to rain at night because you had to remember. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, wait. So he did plan it. You're right. Yeah, but still you're, you're right though. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it could have just happened. Like he thought it was pouring down rain. He goes out there. It's just spitting a little bit. Yeah. How long would it take to get the poop off? Yeah, there's no way. By the way, he washed himself in the water that was poop water. Yeah. So he didn't really get clean. Yeah. It was still poop water. Oh, so it's the 1950s, right? Yeah. He would never be able to do it in today. No. Yeah, yeah. No, they don't have a way. And he's got up. There's a camera. Everywhere. Yeah, TikTokers. Ticking videos of him. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Draft King Sportsbook. The number one sportsbook for live betting is making every snap, every drive, every moment of the NFL playoffs worth watching. With over 2.5 million in prizes, up for grabs every Sunday during the playoffs, they're turning up the stakes for every draft king's customer. Here's how simple it is. Head to the Draft King Sportsbook app, opt in and receive a promo token. Very, very simple jump in, bet live, and let the entries roll for a shot at a share of over 2.5 million in prizes. 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Offer only valid for new factor customers with code and qualifying auto renewing subscription purchase. Make health during eating easy with factor. I saw your buddy Colin Joseph this morning. You played golf with him. Yeah, we played golf. We talked about you. Really? Yeah. What'd you say? We both really love you. Oh. And then I asked him who won the meat? Who you want? Headphones? I don't know. I'm wondering. Give him a hand. No, no, no. I don't need it. Yeah. Yeah. That is what he said. It says you do not listen. I don't think you listen. I was so hungry. I was so hungry. But you see yourself in me. I do. So what's fine? Because I don't listen. No, yeah, I never listen. No, yeah. There's nothing in this. Yeah, yeah. He's got nothing in the head. Yeah, yeah. No socks, huh? No socks today. Yeah. You like them? So cute. Thank you, girl. Yeah. Those are very Middle Eastern of you. Oh, wow. Yeah. I like that. A little bit Hispanic of you. Are those Hispanic shoes? Yeah. Maybe any more. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I like that. A little bit Hispanic of you. Are those Hispanic shoes? Yeah. Maybe any more. Did your puppy have those? Everything I wear is Hispanic. You probably don't sleep well. Do you sleep well? I either sleep a lot or no. Yeah. It just depends. What was it last night? Last night. I did a good last night. But the night before that, I woke up scared, man. You were wake up scared. Why are you scared? I woke up scared because I drank. I drank and then I woke up scared. You know what I mean? I left leg. My left leg starts to go numb. But it's in my head. It's on your head. Yeah. Yeah. Where do you stay when you come to LA? I stay at the... No, no, no, no. I stay by the store. Close to the store. Yeah. You want to go by there. I want to get a stand there. Dancing. Rudey! Rudey! Rudey! Rudey! Rudey! Rudey say hi to our cat. Yeah, I did. Hi. Yeah. You know she's got a massive crush on you. It's unbelievable. Oh my god! She can't stop talking about it. Oh my god! It's been a continuous thing on the show. Oh, come on. When will you have Marcelo on because I want to say hi to him? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Do you know what? You're fucking Yoko. Yes! You're Yoko. Oh my Yoko. Yeah. Yeah. If you were in a band, you would break it up. You can't sing. Maybe she's Yoko. She would break it right up. If you started dating her, she kicked off SNL so fast. Really? Yeah. You're toxic, Rudey. No. Are you tone deaf? Me? Yeah. Why? Can you sing? That's good. Very good. Holy fools rush. It sounds like a foreign guy trying to do that song in English. Yeah. Why is man real sick? Only will the fool. Will he be the Russian? Because I... Because... I'm going. You can dance too, huh? Yeah. That I can. Oh, we've seen that you've showcased your ability to dance. I'm going to. Yeah. The thing that we haven't seen you do on TV that you're like waiting, that's something you're back pocket. I got to do a soccer thing. I'm good. I'm really good. Do you have anything that's a circle here? I can't do anything. I can jump. That baseball. I can do some stuff with it. Can you really? Probably. Stand up and do it. Yeah. Okay. Oh. I thought that was going to work. Yeah, yeah. You're not wearing socks. Whoa, dude. Ah! Oh, bro, you are good. Yeah. Wow. That isn't... That's incredible, dude. Oh, shoeless. Oh, okay, sit down, sit down. Oh, here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. How about that? How about Ushanan? Can your fancy be do that? We want you to replace our fancy b-class. Oh, yeah. Yeah! Oh, God! What are you with that, Ushanel? How about that, huh? How about Ushanel? Can your fancy bee do that? We want you to replace our fancy bee so bad, dude. Oh, my God, man. You would be the one. A guy, fancy bee. You guys really? What is the bee stand for? You tell us. Come on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you guys love to eat? Yes. You love it? What is your favorite? What, look at me, dude. You like it? What? Beans. Yes, yeah. I like it, too. So, I can be a fancy bee. What's your favorite meal that your mom made you? My mom never cooked a lot. My mom was always traveling for work. What about your grandma? Does that make you feel? My grandma, she didn't cook either. My grandmother was a cashier at a CVS. Seriously? Yeah. Wow. We didn't have a lot of like... So no, no home cooked meals for you as a kid? Not really. My mom can make a great arroco de olla. Arroca, alright? Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing. That's good, dude. You really live in this dangerous line, huh? I don't have a choice. You'll do anything. Well, I'm not on SNL, dude. I can do whatever I want. You can have them, right? I'm free living. The thing that got Shane canceled, I do every week on this show. Every single week, yeah. It's incredible. That's the freedom of this platform. Yeah. We're allowed to do it. But you got to stay a little good little boy. Yeah, I know. You got to be a good little boy, because you're going to be a movie star, aren't you? You got a job to do. Are you going to be a movie star? I hope so. You're going to be a movie star. We've got a movie. Netflix. Yeah. Kevin Hart? Yes, that one. He's done movies with Kevin Hart. It's a review. I have. Yes, I have. I just saw you in a movie. No, you didn't. Yes, it is. Last night. What movie was it? Now you see me now you don't. Oh, my God. Yeah. Yeah. And how was I? It was funny, dude. You were fun. It was a fun little part. You got a lot of facial hair in that one. Yeah, I grew it out. No, I did it. Are you yours? No, yeah. I did the bush. I did the front bush. We shot that in Budapest. What's this movie you got coming out? Kevin Hart, it's called 72 hours. It's like a bachelor party thing. Oh, yeah. 72 hours. I thought it was going to be like an extension of the NIC-48 hours. I thought that was going to be another. What is this? Kevin Hart, 72 hours. A new comedy. Who wrote it? Not you. No. No. Who's that handsome guy? Look at that. Who is that guy? That's Mason Gooding. I'm talking about you, sweetheart. Oh, that's care about that other guy on the left. What are you talking about? Look at how good looking he looks right there, Bob. Zoom in on Marcelo. I'm on Marcelo. Wow. Kids built, he's built for the picture. Come on. It's like Pepsi Cola now. What's up? He's like Pepsi Cola. You think his name is Pepsi? No, no, what I'm saying is that you're like out there. Yeah. You know, man. How's it feel? It's crazy. It feels weird. This is like, I've only done like four podcasts in my whole life. Yeah. And today I did the third one of my life and I did the fourth one. I did like one or two, like before when I first started doing videos online, which was like 2020. Yeah. So this is like the first podcast. This is the only one that matters. This is the first one. This is the real one. This is the one. Look at you on variety with your shirt off. I know they made me do that. You didn't want to take your shirt off. I didn't want to do the chains. I didn't want to the shirt, but you know what I want to say. Yeah. Just don't know what to say. Yeah. So someone came by and was like Marcelo, we like it if you had your shirt off. And we want to put these costume chains on you. Yeah. And then we have this idea. And then I go, they go smile. And then something felt weird to me about smiling with my shirt off. Yeah. So I was like, I can't do that. Can you do that face? I want to try and do that face. Look it. Look it. I like that's interesting that they go take your shirt off, put on these chains. And that was the idea. Somebody did not do their work before. Thank you. They showed up that day and they were like, we have nothing to do. And you don't get to approve pictures. So you just find out. Wait, no. Your team never said yes or no to this? No, you just find out. You got to get a new agent. They should send you this before they approve it. This was years ago. I don't think people can get it. That's not a good approval. No, it's dude. When they have a Julia Roberts probably can. You get to a point where you start. He's the male Julia Roberts. I know I understand that. No, no, no. That's America. He's got to get there. I don't know if he's there now. Yes, yes. Yeah, oh, get approval then. But this was years ago. This is America's new sweetheart. I. Yeah. You are the representation of America's best. Ideos, me. Ideos, me. Dude, you guys, you guys, that was the worst one. That one right there in the white. Let me see. That one. That's the worst picture I think I've ever taken. Oh, God. What am I talking about? What am I talking about? Yeah, what are you doing? I don't know. You don't get a warlord. I could have been stretching. I could have been stretching there. Yeah. Selling weapons overseas. What are you doing? It's like what? God. Yeah, but you know what? You still look good. Thank you, man. The kid still looks good. Are you happy on a little break right now, right? Yeah, a little break. But this is, I've been busy. Dude, I've been doing a bunch of podcasts. I've been doing a screening for my spa. I'm doing a screening for your special. Tomorrow. Special comes out January 7th. Yeah, I will be out. One day after our favorite holiday. Yeah. What's your favorite? Yeah. Come on, buddy. It's a good one. Come on, dude. We were there, dude. We were there twice. We got to go back. I had a brick. Just you with a photo. You with your shirt off a change of the neck. Yeah, yeah. If AI was around like that, how many comedians would have promoted their week of shows? Oh, my God. With so many flyers. Of so many flyers. Oh, that would have been great. Let me ask you something. And you don't have to answer this. Okay. Does Lauren know about this show? Like, will Lauren see you on this show? Maybe. Uh-oh. If something bad happens. Rudy. Rudy. Stop hitting on me. Rudy! You get intimidated by him. Um, sure. But he's, he, I've gone to baseball games with him. He's a cool guy. He's also just like such like, uh, he's like, we all have like a, a grandparent or somebody that's like, you know, the elder of the. You call him a grandparent? The elder of the family. Yeah. Um, and, uh, it's different when the elder of the family is like working at like a crazy high level. Yeah. Like, it's different when they're retired. It's a different energy. He's, he's on. He's on. Oh, right, right. Yeah, he's doing the thing. Yes. He's still very much doing this. He's still your, yeah. Wow. Yeah. He's still your papa. But if he's like, come here and let's go over here. You have to go with him, right? Yeah, yeah. I go to baseball game. Well, you go to baseball. You like you guys. You guys love baseball. I'm my people. Yeah. We love baseball. And it's been very, very good to you. How you see your face? How you see? How you see your face? What do you do with it? I've seen you face. How good does Bobby look these days? Honestly, the, the, well, let's take a good look at the skateboard behind him. Look at how fat he was in that photo. I mean, that's a, that is a dead, like, that's a great comparison. That is a before and after right in front of your face. In a hundred percent. And yeah, that's, but when you're like that, you don't, no one tells you. I told you all the time. I know, but I thought you're joking. I wasn't. Yeah. But other people, I, I'm the wilder. Like, you look good. No, I didn't. I didn't look good. You know what I mean? But this was good. This has always been good. Fuck this. I mean, I want to look good. Yeah, you want to look good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is nothing. I prefer you fatter to the ball. Why? You just feel it's like you look huggable. Oh, right. No, you've got to look sexy. It's sexy. Yeah, sexy now. I don't know if I look sexy. Yeah, you do. Yeah, it's a stretch. But let me say something. I am excited for his transition. He's going to get. I want to get. He's going to get where you are. You know it. It's neck. It's the stage. It's the next thing. Right. They're going to go look more shallow. You create an SNO. I'm not seeing you on the show. But we want the movies. We want the girls. We want the money. And they got to get them jacked. Yeah. Because he's in good shape. Lift up your shirt. Huh? Lift up your shirt. No, come on. Come on. Come on. Give him some money, guys. No, no, no. He's nothing crazy. Let's see. Yeah, see. He's in great shape. Skin and bones. What size? What size? What size? 28. 30. 30. Yeah, right. 30. 30. You want to stage up waiting for? What's up? Stage five. What's up? You want to stage five? Answer. Hey, Marcelo, it's Bobby. Gone. Oh, never. I'll never. I'll never. You guys have. When that stage happened. Dude, you guys have such a special place in my heart. You don't even realize it. I was in the pandemic. I had a panic attack in my house. I was spraying my family. I was spraying my family. I was. My mom. I sprayed my whole family. My mom would get a whole super market. I could naked now. Take the clothes off. I take the clothes off. I throw it in the washing machine. Yeah. They hated me. My sister would. You were paranoid. Dude, it was really bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was really bad. Don't be a fool with me, Negash. It was really bad. Yeah. And I was spraying, spraying, spraying. I was mad at them. They were like, we want to go to lunch at a restaurant. And I go, you got to kill us all. I was doing, I was insane. I was spraying my sister's hands. I was being like a real psychopath. Yeah. Was he a little bit like that? No, but Kaleila was like that. Kaleila, yeah, yeah, yeah. We get food orders, right? Outside, we'd have to spray it down for 30 minutes. Yeah, let us sit out there, let the air do its thing. You know she'd be the reason that she really got to show us. I know. Because Kaleila didn't trust him to not go do something when we were done filming. Yeah. So she was kind of like a liaison, a child, by the way. Right. She was in high school. She was in high school when she started the show. She was babysitting Bobby. Yeah, 100%. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember, dude, I'm telling you, I used to watch it every night. I used to listen to it to go to bed. I needed people to be pretending like things were fine. Yeah, we did. And you guys did that. But we were so dumb. We don't know any about it. We didn't know it wasn't fine. Sitting relatively close to each other and talking and being funny, I truly believe it saved my life. Wow. That's very sweet. For me, like really losing it. And I had to move out of my mom's house. I had to move to my dad's because it was like so contentious. And what about your dad? Then your dad didn't care at all. My dad is just like two guys living in a house. When it's like your mother and your sister. The people that you're supposed to protect, you're like, don't move a muscle. You know what I mean? But with my dad, I was like, it's okay, where guys, it's fine. We'll be fine. You didn't care if you guys got COVID together. I thought it was like, it's just two guys. We'll figure it out. But like take your sister and your mom. It's different. Yeah. Protect. Protect. That's what you do with her. Did you get to COVID? I eventually did get it. Yeah. Do you like it? I was. No, I got it badly. I couldn't breathe in stuff. Yeah, it was bad. Yeah, yeah. You did get it bad. I was laying on my side trying to. You don't have any health issues from when you were a kid? No, but I don't, like I think I have to like, I stopped smoking. I used to smoke. I stopped smoking because I think my lungs out of nothing are good. Give them a cigarette. Come on. You want them. You want them. You want them. You want them. You want them. You want them. You want them. You want them. You want them. You want them. You want them. You want them. You want them. You want them. You want them. I am one of my family. You tried everything. I'm like, you tried everything. You started every drug and quit it. Yeah, quit it, quit it, quit it. The same thing, yeah, yeah, yeah. Start it and then you quit it. What do you mean? Yeah, yeah. You know what? I did quit. I did quit two years. You started again? I know, I started again, but I'm just saying. No, you've been a guy like this. What do you mean? I like this. Over a year now, right? How long has it been? Over a year? Yeah, yeah. You've been smoking again. I know, here's the thing. I'm gonna quit after my special. That's not true. Yeah. Yes it is. You're putting amount of money on it. He goes, we have a pact. No, we don't. Yeah, yeah, yeah. See, he doesn't listen. No, he listens. I listen. No, because you have one thought. You said, make a pact. He didn't do it. I know what I'm saying, no, though. What's that guy's name in the, in the maroon? 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Go to quince.com slash bad friends for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in Canada too. Oh, we love that. That's quince q-u-i-n-c-e dot com slash bad friends free shipping and 365 day returns quince.com slash bad friends. It is based on looks in an apocalyptic moment, right? Like zombie apocalypse, whatever, right? You had to choose four people out of this room to be in your team to survive. Who would you pick? Easy. Yeah, go ahead. It's you three. Rudy, I know when we get out there, Rudy's going to be the secret leader of the pack. A hundred. Yeah. And then I'm going to go with Carlos. I mean, the other two, I like you guys. You seem easily killable. Like I killed very easily. Yeah. Now, what's the first errand you make Carlos do in the apocalypse? Because he's the errand guy. He's the runner. Yeah, I mean, get bullets. What do you mean bullets? It's the apocalypse? Oh, you mean the apocalypse here? Like a zombie apocalypse. Oh, zombie apocalypse. You have a compound. You know what? I don't even tell him. He knows. Oh, he knows. Got it. Got it. What's the bullet look? Give me the look. What look? Oh, like what I need him to go do something. Yeah, yeah. Don't say anything. No. Like I'm Carlos, right? And I look at you. Like give me the bullet look. I go like, no, it's not bullet. Carlos knows what we need. Okay. Okay, okay. But I go like this. I go, hey. Yeah, I bought it. You're in the car. I'm already getting bread in the car. I'm getting bread. Yeah, you want bread? You got it. Now, let's ask this question. Yes. That's why you're not the errand guy. You'd come back with bread and we're like, we don't need fucking bread. Those bats so quickly too. God, we do. Carlos, zombie apocalypse. I look at you. I go, what are you going to get? Couple girls who haven't been. Okay, Carlos. Carlos. Girls who haven't been bitten. Okay. All right. Yeah. Smart. I understand. I understand. Yeah. Carlos going to go get these girls, right? Then he's going to try to be cool, show off in his new car. You know, he's like, don't nuts in the parking lot. They end up getting them bit anyway. He still shows up with them. And he's like, they weren't bit when I got them, but they're bit now. Yeah. But we can hang with them for a little bit. And I've been thinking about it and I think we should all just get bit. What do you guys think? We just get bit. Let's just get bit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You would. Yeah. You would be fine. Because it'd be like a version of getting high probably. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. But in a zombie apocalypse, if you saw a hot zombie, fully hot, would you try to hook up? If I had a really bad injury already, you know what I'm saying? But you're not, you don't have the fucking virus though, right? You see a real, like the titties out, the body's still fine, maybe some scabs. Yeah, I mean, a couple of scabs. A couple of scabs, you know what I mean? The eyes are completely white, but the face is still good. I did this in real life though, like I would go to party. Yeah, methad, you know, methad. Oh, COVID. Oh, COVID, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he would go hook up with the girls in the middle of COVID. Yeah. He would have given you a panic attack. There were parties in the hills during COVID. Then you would go and try to... No, not try. He would do. He hooked up with a bunch of people during COVID. Yeah. It's actually where he hit the most home runs during COVID because he was the only guy willing to just go for it. And to you, it's easy to hook up with chicks. Not anymore. It's like it older. This is not true. He is a... He is a... He's got a problem. He's got a problem. Yeah, it's projecting from Bobby, obviously. Really? How dare you? Really? You just explained yourself. Explain yourself. Explain yourself, Dan. You're one of the most problematic people with women. Wow. Whoa. Whoa, that's heavy shots, huh? Yeah, that word. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Word is crazy. It's crazy, right? It's issues with women. Whoa, right? Wow. A lot. A lot, he says. Lots. Yeah. What else? And you have no issues with women. Countless. Countless. Yeah, no, no. We're the same, no? Yeah, but I'm just saying you were... It's like the pot calling cattle back. And the pot will call you back if you leave your phone now. We'll call you back at some point. You're a jack. Honestly. Yeah. Why are you doing something today? Something going on. You shot it before you came. He was shooting at me. I was so nice to you today too. And you were shooting Carlot, I said. He did. He was bragging that he stated a nice hotel. And I needed to just tell him, oh, I've also been there. Like, let's not brag. These guys have been buttoned heads today for some reason. That's the deal with him. I know, dude. Oh, look. Because he's a spanic. You're a spanic. You guys kind of, you know, right? Connect. Why is looking Hispanic of all time? Yeah. What's your, why is it? Why my why? Yeah. What's your, yeah. Mexico City. My parents are Spanish. That's why. Oh, they're Mexican. No. They're Mexican, but they're Spaniards. All right. So tell Marcello you wore those socks for him. Go ahead and tell him about your socks. Oh, she wore socks just for, oh, play dumb now. Play dumb. Now that he's here, tell him about the socks you wore and why you wore them. Well, you bought them for him. Like, I'm going to buy these because Marcello think these are cool. Yeah. Tell him why those particular socks you buy. It's annoying at the universal city walk. Well, because it's newbie, but I don't know if it's in your culture to eat dogs, but in my culture, it's okay to eat dogs. I thought that it would be nice to share culture. Say sweet. Okay. No, listen, Rudy, I love, I really do love Rudy. I'm a fan of yours. I have to tell you, we don't eat dogs in my culture. Yeah, that I don't love. No, but I'm sure it's, it's, it's, people think it's a cultural thing. I do think it's a socio economic thing. I think it's like who can we grab? Yeah. And the dog you up and then. Yeah, yeah. I think you're right. I think you're right. My mom said that in Cuba, they were eating horse. Hmm. So that's that would be so tough. There's no fat. Yeah. Did you see that video on TikTok or the, I don't know what race they were, but they were boiling a, boiling a horse had it was very horrifying. What. I'm. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. He's getting sick. Take it off, please. Bobby, no. Oh, so you don't like any of that? I mean, what do you mean any of that? Yeah. What does that even mean? Any of it. There's more. Like that kind of stuff, you know what I mean? Yeah, you don't like it. I'm not sure what it is. Yeah. What is your late night post show meal? You gotta have like a late, whether it stand up or taping an SNL, what are you doing late night? I need to change it, but I love to get home after doing shows and have like a burger with my eyes. In New York, I do seventh street burger. Have you tried it? Mm-hmm. It's really good. Smash burgers. Smash burger. And it's open late. It's open super late. It's gotta be. These guys aren't done until one in the morning. That's the best. And then here I love in and out, dude. I really enjoy it. It just gets great. I like the energy there. The people inside of in and out, they're taking it serious. Yeah. They're taking it serious. They all feel like they're on camera and they probably are. But yesterday we were a couple days ago, we went and we're in the window. We're waiting to get to the lady that gives us the food. And there's a guy in the window and he's looking at us. And we're looking at him and we're kind of just waiting for the food. And then he goes like this. He goes like he wanted to play rock paper scissors. Wow. Did you do it? Yeah. Of course. Did you win? No, he won. I think he does this a lot. He knows. Yeah. What's your first boot? Just right now, instinct. You want to do it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like one, two, three. It's always on three. You do it. Rock paper scissors shoot. Correct. It's one of three. Rock paper scissors shoot. Okay, ready? You want to do it? Rock paper scissors shoot. You won. I've never won that game. I've never won that game. You want to do one? Go ahead. Rock paper scissors shoot. Rock paper scissors shoot. Rock paper scissors shoot. Rock paper scissors shoot. You got me. I did. He also went three times. So I knew what he was going to do it again. Yeah. So that's why I did rock to the point. I'm the same thing. I think you did do that. I do 100 percent. What? Because I want you to feel good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, you know, you know. I mean, you know, you know. I mean, you know, you know. I mean, you know. I mean, you know. I mean, you know. I mean, you know. I mean, you know. I mean, you know. I mean, you know. I mean, you know. I mean, you know. I mean, you know. I mean, you know. I mean, you know. I mean, you know. I mean, you know. I mean, you know. I mean, you know. I mean, you know. I mean, you know. I mean, you know. I mean, you know. I mean, you know. No, protein stuff. Protein stuff. Protein stuff, my friend. No, he doesn't do that. Fuck that. But I will tell you, he doesn't like the onions. He gets those off of there. No onions? Yes, onions. Yes, onions. Yeah, onions, dude. But there is something I take off of there. Tomatoes? Chis? They're sauce. Yeah. You do? Yeah, they're sauce. Last for me. Yeah. You take the sauce off? Double, double. Let us tomato onion. No sauce. No sauce. No sauce. No sauce. I love it. Yeah. You love it. Yeah. Do you eat the pepperoncini's? What's that? Man, dude. It's okay. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. You don't want. Nothing. Nothing. Oh, let us tomato onion, no sauce. No sauce? No sauce. You love it. Yeah, do you eat the pepper and Chinese? What's that? Oh, man, dude. It's a cousin, not a cousin. No, not a cousin. No, no, no, not a cousin. It's not a cousin, not a cousin. Pepe rocino, right there, pepper, cino. What do they call them? They're the chilis? The chili? They're not that spicy. They're not spicy. They're not always eat it. They're pickled, right? They're not spicy. I think also, you like that stuff? Yeah. Yeah. Like, I'm seeing you go like this. No, look at me, like, I asked for your bus. She goes like this and I go you like that stuff and she goes what? You're body language yes. She likes wild shit. Yeah, yeah. Do you know what balloon is? No? Oh my god You look at a photo to their house and you eat whatever. Okay look at look at me right now before you look at the photo Okay, all right balloon is this right blue Ballot right you said so it's my look so they take a duck at right and then two weeks before the duck is born Then they boil it. Yeah, right? Yeah, they ferment it. Yep, right? And so you eat kind of a baby duckie kind of situation look at the balloon. That's what it is It's so good. They love it. They love it. They love it You put vinegar and salt and you just slurp the Sauce inside it's not sauce Marcello. Yeah, that's good Marcello, you can taste the feathers. Yes, I've had it before. Oh, we've been on this show You guys talk about yeah, you crunch on the skull you can see the brain sport in your baby. Oh my alright All right, all right, you know, that's what this show has become now. Yeah, no, we know you just stir fry the horse head Yeah, wow people the world they have different diets so no sauce on the double double I don't like I'm not a big sauce guy and I also think um you like fries as is you need a more more crispy fries as fry I can do it more crispy. I like the more crispy. I mean, but um you gravy guy. No, I think that's gross Okay, any gravy on biscuits or anything and what's the soda order in this combo? Seven up. I must bright guy when I was little my dad told me that Coca-Cola had co-crocious in it because he was scared of me having caffeine and then being a problem Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, seven up sprite. Seven up for sprite. Yeah, yeah, but I think once you as you get older You get a better palette. Yeah, you're so to palette changes. Just looking for excitement. You look at this as like old men, huh? You look at this like old men. Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely older men. Yeah, older men I think that you look at Lauren and me different. Yes, different. Okay, but close close No, Lauren I would say is closer to me because he has gotten to an age where you can kind of you can make mistakes and stuff and they're like oh He's old same way of I make a mistake. They go. Oh, he's just a young guy. You guys what you're doing. It's important I'll say that decisions you're making. Yeah Carlos has to be careful. Yeah, yeah, yeah One with the glasses and the beanie and the hoodie inside. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you can make mistakes. He's 24 you can do this 24 and then the other one, you know Mysterious mysterious. He's 25. He thinks he's more superior 20. He's 26. That's right. I forget I always forget that you got you grew up He's 24 now, right? That's insane. Bobby does it feel a little bit good to have like these white guys running around doing everything. I do like it There is a part of it. I would like yeah, it is a part of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's my time I'm no longer running You know because the beginning I ran I got all kinds of stuff like So today I candy bar. I'll get it. You know, maybe but not anymore. They get the candy bar I am you know skankfest. Yeah, I used to do I was an intern at skankfest in 2019 2018 Wow, and I so they basically had I was doing everything all setting stuff up I was making the goodie bags for the comedians. I was doing all that stuff and then one day the lady that runs the thing She goes the impractical joke as you're coming and they would need a shark could reward Sounds like an impractical joke Yeah, and then I'm coming in and they need a shark could reward can be sold. They've a tell they're doing this thing Yeah, you need to get the much our couldn't report and they give me a card and they go get me a shark or report Yeah, and now I'm in Brooklyn. I'm an intern by myself and I need to get a shark or report So I'm running around from Delhi to Delhi do you do shark or report? They go this is a deli. What are you talking about? Hey over and over nobody knows nobody knows nobody knows how for how many people such a career where I go like 10 people They go that doesn't exist. Yeah, yeah, you're talking about so there's finally I show up to a place I think it was a Korean deli. I think there was a Korean guy behind the thing and I don't know Yeah, you don't know there's no way to know okay And I don't remember I didn't ask him that it is an Asian guy and it was a just deli and I go I need a shark could reward And he goes I'm sorry man. We don't do that. I go I go do you have? Let me Google what's in our short career board? I go go do you have this do you have carrots do you have this do you have this do you have this do you have this You have this he goes yes, I have all those things and I go can we make it together? And he goes I don't know how much that would cost I go it's not my card And the guy goes okay, so now I'm behind the deli behind the glass and I'm chopping stuff up with him You're making our If I was not be just if I got that as a chakuri board Without that like you know little jam and you know I mean all the little thing you didn't let him finish maybe he got the I don't think he did you didn't get jam But you took sandwich meat and you chopped it up. That's not a chakuri board sandwich meat We got cheeses different cheeses. Okay. Okay. Okay. I'm cute cumbers Okay, what's the what the peppers the long peppers and we put them all together and I think I made two of them Yeah, two of them and then the guy goes I don't know what to charge you and then honestly he was like He was he looked at me. He was like I had a good time Like we built a kind of a relationship and then and then I walked in like a legend Because they were really panicking about the chakuri board and I walked in with the chakuri and they were like how'd you do this? I got no more And I'll tell you something the Joker's didn't even touch one piece of me. Yeah, yeah, yeah That's the worst part is whenever we get something in a writer It's like we don't we didn't even ask for it someone else said they's gonna want this and we never fucking need any Stuff they put in there. Yeah, and then ever the most beautiful thing is I did that David telling all these guys were in this green room and I didn't get like a big You know, I mean congratulations. You did it. We were in a tough place. You saved us I didn't feel like I got the credit I deserved yeah, but they were thankful It just was like I didn't know how what I went through yeah, and then the next day at Skankfest David tell came up to me and I guess he had seen me deliver it and he gave me a bag of oranges. Yeah Did he know you did stand up? Yes, I think so. Yeah, he's one of the sweetest guys He always brings gifts for people you know like when he goes to the cellar he brings gifts for the night party That was so nice. Have you ever done Skankfest now? No, so you only interned I only never even got to do it No, they gave me five minutes though at the end of it I got one of those little shows they let me do crush. Oh wow crush. I don't think so And Skankfest is like there's something they want to hear yeah, I'm not exactly like that. It's not your thing How'd you end up interning? How did that even start? A friend of a friend I interned for impact with jokers. I was I used to hide the cameras I should stand in front of the guy that has the camera. Yeah, and I used to wear all black and stand in front of That's funny. Yeah, yeah really yeah, wow in a park and you stand there and then I did that for a couple times I did the impractical jokers thing and then One of the ladies that was a producer in impractical jokers She knew the producers from Skankfest and then she put us together and then I did interning there. Wow Wow, and look at you now young man look at you now look at really really really really Rudy you have any questions that you want us Marcelo because this is the time man. He came all the way here for you true Don't stall out. This is so crazy. You're stalling out all day She's like so excited to meet you and then she's stalling now. Just say what you need to say I think you're upset that we don't eat dog. I think we can still be friends. It's okay Posole, I've heard of it. I might can't tell you what it is Okay That's not your question. That's all that's the one. Yeah, she does research. She does She works hard on this. I mean there's so many other questions. Yeah, almost anything. Yeah, yeah, are you are you nervous in front of them? No, oh Carlos. You're not you're not I think you are because you're Hamming it up more than usual. Yeah, we can see there's a time better. Yeah, wait a minute Are you really nervous about it? Be honest. It's okay. He's can't hear us Because you knew who he was right? Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, maybe a little bit. Yeah, there we go. That's fine. No the doors open. Yeah, it's totally fine Yeah, do you like dogs? No, no Did you see my mom has a little tiny dog? I like did you see Godzilla minus one? No, what's that it's a movie? I can imagine that okay good. You can ask anything You know, I mean you like the wind You like the wind yeah, yeah, yeah, hate you hate the wind. It's one of my least favorite elements. Yeah, yeah, yeah, what's your hair like? What is it orange? No, no, like what's it like shape? Short Okay, yeah, it's a nightmare Yeah, I was expecting like yeah, yeah, oh no. Oh, did I just took a shower after the gym came here? It's like a Bob that the Bobby is good man Bob 54 still got it. It's really or still got it. It's really nice Still got it thick really freaking good man. Really good man I'm really good. Yeah, sexy dude You have always been sexy. Even before you lost the way you were sexy. I have an idea you guys do this stuff I'll tell you the be a favor your this new Bobby skinny Bobby kind of like taking care of your body going out there single Bobby Body body. What do you do now now? You would you say you have a little bit more confidence now out there With women yeah with women no, no, no, no, can I keep can you keep the hair? Perfect. So you have a little more confidence with the women you would say no no, I mean what do you mean? I would be a better because you know you look better. What you know you look better You know what here. I'll tell you something okay Marcelo all right, right? I always shoot my shot Yeah, okay, and you know what? I'm not Robin Hood something that the arrows miss can I see an example? Right shoot your shot right now with Andrew just seconds. Give it to me. Yeah. Yeah. Well, what's the scenario? I got you you're at a bar Right what kind of bar I need specific I have a better scenario. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you just did a show at the store Okay, there was a girl in the crowd that was watching you you liked it she was laughing. She liked your show Yeah, you like her you see her at the bar outside of the okay in the patio in the patio Yeah, yeah, and you walk out and you see her there and you make eye contact yeah, and you walk over yeah I walk over and I go hey I'll go hey I'll see something random. I'll have it. I'll have it for you. Yeah, yeah You like the wind? What's up? What's up? The notice you from across the room. Yeah, she's drunker than you thought. Yeah, what kind of jacket is that all Saints. Oh, I love all saints man. I have two one of them the cat. I would love to jacket. I think you make it be nervous Yeah, I'll make it yeah, you're making me nervous. I mean hold on. Let me do it again. I'm gonna wear the hat Yeah, yeah, you can come in Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, you're being weird He's being weird. I'm drunk at the bar. I'm drunk at the bar I'm drunk at the bar excited that he's coming over you like to show. Oh, I like to show. Oh god. Yeah, see that I don't want that I want to hit on that girl. I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, do it with me doing me right now I'll do it with you. I wouldn't fuck you anyway He's a dead end Yeah, it's a dead end. I like black guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm Korean Yeah, okay, you could go ahead. I saw your show. Oh, you're doing it now. I saw your show Oh, yeah, so funny. I didn't go up tonight. No, I've seen your show your bad friend show I don't have a podcast. How'd you know it was a podcast? I do She's good now. You got me. She's good now. I do have one. Thank you. Yeah, it's you're so funny on there. Thank you so much. What do you do? um tech. Oh, I love tech. Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, you Nike has a new shoe what you can wrap it your calf and it makes you run faster Really? Yeah, do you have them? No, I'm gonna get one. You know, I love tech. I like all kinds of tech Yeah, in fact, I have two robots in my bedroom. Really? Yeah, yeah, what do they do? Emo I can ask for the weather And you my gosh, I go good morning emo hello, mommy I go what's the weather like it's gonna be cloudy today You know, I mean and then sometimes you can shake him and he goes whoa Right because he gets like you know, I mean and then like and also nice. I always have to say good night Yeah, it's just a little robot. I go good night. Emo You know Marcelo No, no, no, could you introduce me to him? Marcelo who? Hernandez, Bobby at no point did you shoot your shot with this one? I look look. I'll fuck you If you introduce me to Marcelo, no, no, Marcelo. It's just comes okay. Let me say something right shots are slow No, it took a long time. No, no, it's a lot of arc. Yeah, I'm waiting for you to it's not a straight A compliment why don't you hit on him and see what happens. Yeah, go ahead. No, no, let me just say something Oh, he's offended. I'm not a fan. No, I'm not a fan. I was a little of them but then by the notes I'll be out It took a long time. I understand that right. Okay, when I'm saying right sometimes you open right it's a slow open Yeah, slow. He's a slow open and it's a fast close. Oh, right you slow you slow open Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, right so what I'm saying is is that I just showed you a technique called slow open Okay, it was a lot of kids like you don't understand that yeah, you go straight up you want to fuck On you yeah, yeah, go ahead. Okay, ready. What is it gotta be me? Yeah, all right Hey, oh my god, hey, hey wait, um are you on SNL? Yeah, you just you were you saw the show inside I did in the comedy store Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're really funny. Thank you I went to the bathroom halfway during it, but I came back in the club the last couple of jokes you did with funny about your mom In the Puerto Rico. Thank you so much. It's really good. Yeah, the way you do your accents Dominican Republic Cuba. Is it the same? No? Yeah, sure Is it your funny too? What? Yeah, I think you know, yeah, what's up? I nothing. I just wanted a couple of you live in New York Yeah, I live in New York. Yeah, I just want to say hi to you. I saw you hi Yeah, thank you Candace let's get the fuck out of here. Okay, let's go. Hold on hold on. What Candace? That's your name? Yeah, I'm Candace. Why well? No, nothing oh, I was just making sure you're seeing a podcast Good date good date Good date. Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh see he closes but he closes with a smile, you know, he just flashes those yeah, look at those things the thing It's brazen floor time. You have to race Marcelo fuck off It's so different from your young you're on a show. Yeah, you're on the rise. Yeah I'm a sinking ship. I'm the Titanic. Let me say something to you right now. Can I say something. No. No. No. Baby. Can I say something kind of I'm gonna say something And what I want to say is. Yeah. I want to say one thing Baby. Yeah. Well you think about it. Right. What are women looking for someone that's successful someone. That's working a lot someone. That's busy. And someone. That's taking care of themselves. I mean the criteria. I mean I think the criteria is different. And what I want to say is, and I want to say one thing, Bobby, yeah, well you think about it, right? What are women looking for someone that's successful? Someone that's working a lot, someone that's busy, and someone that's taking care of themselves. I think the criteria is different. What do you think? I think the criteria is different. You look, right? Two different worlds. Yeah, now women are like, they need to be six two. No, yeah, I've seen them. I took off. True. I get that and I get the boiling horse head. And my kick-tack feet. All right, so I get two things, right? And then I, you know what I mean? And they're like, I want six two. They have to make three million a year. And they're the criteria is different. No, they're not. I'm five four, you know what I mean? I'm weird. I forgot you were five four. Yeah, yeah. How tall are you, little one? Five eight. Are you really five eight? Yeah. But you're 54, five four 54, it's a good luck. Maybe that's good luck. That's good. Yeah, that's a good thing. I'll tell you, Andrew. Six one. Yeah. Yeah. And he developed a personality. My personality is a fucking. No, yours is fantastic. He's not saying it's bad. That makes sense. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't think I have a personality. It makes sense that you have a personality. You're five four. Oh, I thought you said. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. So he's six two. And he had to develop a personality. Yes. Wait, the red head. The red head. That would happen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What did you grow up? Did you get that? A little bit. A little bit. The Chicago projects. No. Yeah. In the projects. No, it was in the projects. I always tell people that you were from the project. Why do you do that? I mean, it's like one of those standing deliver kind of, you know, me. Yeah. You mean like, Cabrini Green. He was in the project. He rose. You know, I mean, the story is better. It is. Yeah, yeah. I like the story. If you say for the suburbs, we'll give a fuck. It's not like that. It's not like that. It's not like that. It's not like that. Yeah, from the projects. Yeah, from the projects. Yeah, from the projects. Yeah. Yeah. So tough as tough as part of the streets of Korea, dude. Yeah. From San Diego. I know, but I tell people. Korea San Diego. Yeah. Yeah. You should open mics on the boat on the way over. Yeah, yeah. Kill everybody. Get on. Everybody, everybody. Get on. Just me doing standup on a boat. I know. You got scared. I did an accent. Yeah, a little bit. Yeah. I do accents. I know you do. You do accent. I do. I do. Spanish too, huh? Yeah, sometimes. Sometimes. You speak Spanish. What are you saying Spanish? I can't. Well, I can't say it because you'll know it. But say it. No, man. Have some fun, man. No, because our Latin audience has been writing letters lately. Is that true? They're really upset. Yeah, they're upset. Carlos Knows and Fancy B. They've been writing a lot of letters. Say what? Say what? Just about the way that we treat our Latin employees. And we should say that the Latinos that you're going to be fine and everything's going to be okay. And we love you here. They didn't write us letters. I was joking around. Well, we lost it about Latino people. Let's say something positive. Let's actually let's go around the room. Why have anything so much to say? Let's go around the room. Yeah, I mean, and Rudy should go first. Okay, go. What do you think? Yeah. I love their food. I love their language. You can't do more than one. You can't do more. We all need. We all need some of that. I love their noses. Very. They're noses. Very good. Very good. We'll take it. Yeah, that's also for us. Go that way. Go ahead. All right. You'll know what I said. Me when I say it, you'll know what I mean. Okay. I have a dream too, Richie. La bomba. Richie valance, dude. Okay. You love Richie valance. I love him. That's nice. Oh, Tana. Oh, Tana. You're still Asian while you're doing it. I do not Japanese. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a Japanese Richie valance. Go ahead. Really good. Really good. Yeah. La bomba. Nessesita. That's a good ball. Yeah. Go ahead. Go ahead, man. Some of those beautiful women are in the middle. Go ahead, man. Some of those beautiful women I think I've ever seen in my entire life. Oh, my God. I'll allelia. My biggest, my biggest, my first crush, my first crush was at an arcade and a Puerto Rican chick who was much older than me. It was with her little brother who was near my age. And for the first time in my life, I thought, I don't know what this feeling is, but I like that thing. Wow. I don't know what it was. You know what I need to do? It's too young to understand, but you were like, whatever this is, I like that. Whatever that is. I love what you said, except when you called her a thing. Did you feel that? No, no. Not her. The idea. Right. I didn't know what you didn't understand what feelings are. You go, I like this. Whatever this feeling is, I like that thing, that feeling of like you. I like you. I don't even know why that what that means. That's before, when you didn't understand girls and you were young and you were like, I like it. It was just a feeling. Well, you can't even describe it. It's like I do, I don't want to. Oh, God. Well, no, you don't know how to feel. You're like, what is it? Yeah. That's why little kids hit each other because they like each other. They don't know how to feel. Like they don't know how to tell each other. I like you. Say pull a girl's hair because you're like, you know, I fucking like you so much. Oh, God, yeah. That's your guys' crux. That's the crux. Bobby's addiction and your anger. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do he does have race? And he's strong. Your strong has race. Yeah, he's an athlete. He's an athlete. Cast me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you guys like about Latinos? Huh? I just watched El Marillacci. Okay. Robert Rodriguez did. But you didn't say you liked something. You just said you watched a film. I love videos. El Marillacci was a great movie. That was better than Desperado. Nah. Compared it to another Latin movie. Yeah. Well, it was his other movie. All right, Richie. Yeah, go ahead Richie. Oh, well, I have a recurrent. Whoa, that's your voice. Yeah. That's me. Wow, man. Oh, man. I have this recurring dream where I have a Latino wife. So I feel like I'm searching for what's her name. What's her name? I don't know. What's your name? Marissa. Marissa. And what happens in the dream? How do you know she's Latin? Well, all right. So I wake up and I'm like in, I'm definitely in a Mexico. She's yelling at me first thing in the morning. How do you know it's Mexico? No, it's just like the architecture. Like it just feels like. Yeah. You could be in Spain, though, too. You could be in Spain, but like somewhere. She always answering this. She's skating around. Yeah. Careful. Careful. Careful. Okay, so you're a Mexico head. Somewhere I'm in Mexico. I'm like waking up. Like my wife's like making bacon and eggs. And I'm like, hmm, like, great. And the morning. And then I like walk up. And like we have a little kiss. I'm like, oh, like this is awesome. And then she's like, I'm pregnant. And I'm like, oh my god, that's so awesome. And that's how you know she's Latino. She's pregnant. And he just matter racist, Richard. No, no, it's disgusting. This is like my wife. It's like years in the future. It's a dream. And she's making it. And then you speak some Spanish. So what do you say? Hola. Maama Ricky. So you introduce yourself every time. Well, she's got, she's got brain damage. Yes, he brain damage. He has to do that to make sure she remembers who he is. Okay. The idea is very funny that you were married to this one for a very She's making you bacon and eggs in the morning. You probably have a pet chupacabra. You son of a, right? No. A little baby chupacabra. He's, every morning. Yeah. I've never, I don't know what a chupacabra sounds like. I assume that's what the baby is. You have a pet, you have a pet baby chupacabra. Rudy comes in and eats it. Yes. What about you, Carlos? Say something nice about the Latinos if you don't mind. The Mexican hairless dog. He loves Mexican hairless dog. One of his favorite, he talks about the animals. He's like, you know, he's like, you know, he's like, you know, he's like, you know, What about you, Carlos? Say something nice about the Latinos if you don't mind. The Mexican hairless dog. He loves Mexican hairless dog. One of his favorite, he talks about it all the time. Yeah. He loves this dog. I want one. Wow. He wants one very, very happy. They all have a mohawk. Yeah. Wow. That is very cool. I've never seen that before. Have you ever seen a Mexican hairless dog? Yeah. Great. And that's him. Yeah. See that? It's a match. Wow. Wow. Yeah. My God, Carlos. It's crazy. It is very crazy, right? It's crazy, right? I thought you saw the show, dude. No, I didn't see that. Wow, Carlos. Wow. Yeah. Wow, no wonder you have that anger, Carlos. I'm not mad, dude. Yes. I'm not mad. You know what's funny? They look down on you. They have hair, don't they? You know what? You're a beautiful man. You are. Listen, he's not wrong. You're a beautiful man from the forehead down. Yeah, yeah. Keep the hat on. That's a lot. Yeah, that's a lot of the power. Yeah. Carlos, you're holding on. Yeah. You could be a good looking bald guy. Why not just do it? I've been that. It just wasn't me. When we, years ago, he used to shave it all off. And then he started to do this look again, but by the way. Women love it. Women, the success rate with this is through the roof. Really? Yeah, we love it. It's immediate sympathy. Is that what I said? I mean your authentic self. Yeah, yeah. You know what I think it is that they like about that? That it is very unique. Like there's only so many men that we're willing to do that. No, and next to him, they're going to look great. Can we give you a two pay? I want to want to have you ever had two pay? Well, you would do it. I think you look good. What if we bought him a hair, like bought him one of those hair pieces that they glue on? Like the real one? And then got one? Oh, yeah. Yeah, any letterman got me that. She got your real one, right? What about the spray? I don't think the spray works. Let's get a spray. That's a lot of spray. I know it would be good content though. Yeah. Because if you guys bought him a trip to Turkey and made him film all of it. Yeah, it's a lot of Turkey. Would you take that? I would go to Turkey. And we bought you hair. And you have to film the whole thing. Yeah, but that's a lot. That's a lot of hair man. That's not like a little bit. You think it's going to be too expensive? Yeah, that's the money problem. $450,000. It's like the hairline would be up here. Mine's like back here. Right. Turn around will go. But they still can do that. Yeah, but he has a he has a great smile. You have a great face. Yeah, I never see the back though. That back is wild. Turn around in the back again. I have to get you to run in the back. Geez. My God. That guy does creepy crime. I know. You know what? You know what really is the land, the land for him with women. Truly is, and I've heard this from every woman ever that we have like mutual kind either friends or peers or coworkers. They're all like call us is such a sweet guy. Right. He's so fucking nice and McCone's not enough because he knows the truth. The guy has a way with people and women the way he's like disarming and sweet and genuine that gets them, dude. Sometimes that's all they need. And also a guy that is willing to let his hair look like that. Yeah. It's very confident. He's exactly on the inside. He is a confident guy. Yeah, probably. See, and a guy like Richie on the other hand, too confident for no reason. For no reason. Richie, what's under the hood there? No, he's got a nice head of lettuce. Fine. Yeah. Wow. Wow. Well, now you look more like a lesbian now for some reason. Yeah. Where did you get it? That's what he does whenever he's like, I know. Where are you going to Lil' Affair? What's going on? I guess I'm not going to take it. He works at the other studio helping out. And then he was designated to come over here when fancy was gone. And we kind of liked him. We left him. We say, you know what? Let the kid keep coming by. Were you an intern first over there? I wasn't an intern. I was a PA first. Every time he talked like, I know. I know. It's not. Wow. But you're not a Quinnipiac kid. I am. Oh, you are. That was the first time I was here. Oh, really? You were? We had these guys come from college. They come over and they did an intern thing. And can you sing? No. Can you just try? Yeah, yeah. Just give them something. Give me a miss on. Amazing grace. It's a public domain song going on. Sing great. No, commit to it. Sing it on yourself. Yeah. Sing your favorite song. Your favorite song. Yeah. It's Guar right? What is it? I'm blanking on like every song ever. Anything you got. Yeah. Anything you got. We're singing a song. No. This is my song. No, what? No. Just to ping pony club. That's what you love. You love that fucking song. Big pony club. I'm just gonna keep on dancing at the pink. Bony club. I'm gonna do it. Is he doing a Mexican accent? Yeah. Everybody else. Yeah. Yeah. I'm trying to do Shapa Roan. Yeah. Shapa Roan. Shapa Roan. Shapa Roan. Yeah. He can't dance. He can't sing. I can dance. Come on. Come on. You can see it. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Look. Look. Look. Look. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Rudy's right. I think he might have a big penis. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know why he's keeping these girls around. I can't. What was the thing? It was so good, Rich. What's I sure you, Rich? Yeah. Go back on the thing. Get away from me with that thing. Yeah. Get out of here. I might sue you. Yeah. It's real bad. Marcelo. No. We want to say thank you for coming on the show. Yeah. It's the ending. It comes out of nowhere. No, it doesn't. It's just, you know why? You have a special, right? We'll call that out. Because we want to talk about the real shit. Oh, okay. Your special is coming out January 7th. Yeah. It's called American boy. American boy. And the irony of that is staggering. That's what it's for. Yeah. I know. I know. I know. I know. I've seen some of it. Not not the special, but I've seen some for it. Just stand up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Looks great. Thank you, man. Right. Look up to you guys you got me through the band. I know we've done God bless You're on the rise. Congratulations. He's at the top. You're at the top. It's only down from here But if God forbid you ever go back down right we'll be here Well, you can't come back here if you do go down, but we'll be we'll be around we'll be around Like we will say hi. We'll say hello. Yeah, yeah, at the club. Whatever everybody. Please watch American boy So it's out right yeah, I check it out now. Please go whatever you're doing right now watch it now. Thank you for being a bad friend Yeah