Loni Love & Sarah Colonna: Noodle City & 6’8”

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And so the last night of the cruise, you know, we've been like, eyeing each other. He's been telling me everything. And he's like, yeah, I'm gonna do this to you. I'm like, yes, like mama is hot. Hey, yeah. Yeah. And so he comes to my cabin. What? And everything, yes. You slut. And when I tell you, he took me to Noodle City. He was like, oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Wasn't nothing up. OK? Nothing. Because he had been drinking. No. It was like, and so we laughed. I call him Noodles now. Oh, no. And I was like, honey, I just don't have time for this. But I tried though, Jeff. I could not wait to tell you guys. Wait, are we going to see him again? You know what? I like him. I like his vibe. He's a really nice guy. Good. And you know. You couldn't get it up. Could not. What instrument is he in the band? Oh, see, I don't want to give that. Yeah. I don't know that. Selfie cool or something lame? It's really cool. OK, good. Just think about beats. Done. Maybe he was just nervous. You know what? You know, I think I'm going to have to go younger for the sex and then go older for just like the relationship. Because it was nice to be intimate and cuddle and everything. But he just could. He was Noodles. He probably did. You know, he's on the ship. He probably doesn't have his Viagra. Do you want me to give him some? Please. Like, you have to instruct me now. Like, when you're doing someone that's in their 60s, like, I got to have stuff ready. Because we just didn't, you know. But it was a nice moment. And I'm proud of myself. I got so excited when you said Noodle City because I thought that was a good thing at first. Same. Yeah. I didn't know what Noodle City. No, I was like, I ordered from there on Postmates sometime. No, it was Limp Biscuit. Yeah. All right. But that was my update. So I wanted you guys to know. Oh, I'm sorry about the Noodles. It's all right. But you guys did other things. Yeah. Yeah, we had a good time. All right. It was a good time. OK, so you were fulfilled-ish? No. But it'd be fine. It's going to be fine. Is this ship bay? Yeah. I saw that picture. No, I have three. I have three. So you can't, you can't. Well, I was like, did she sleep with all these dudes? Did she? What? I want to. She's looking at me like maybe. Oh. It was a long crew. That's why she didn't care about Noodle City. Come on. It's Friday. Sitting at home with my dick on hard. Got the noodles. You were posting all these ship bays. Did you hook up with all those ship bays? No, no, I didn't. No. OK. No. But it's it's it actually wasn't any of them. You know, because those are my my brothers. But I call them ship babes. But the one that I did hook up with, he's not pictured. But you're going to see him again. Yeah, he wants to try to get it up. Yeah, he wants to try to. Yeah, he just has to be more prepared. Yeah, I guess I'd give him another shot. I'll let you know. I don't know. Is he in LA ever? Or do we have to wait for the ship? He's going to be here in August. So I might but I might be out on tour. That's the problem when you're touring is like I'm out. But we might we have another tour date together in November. So that might happen if they wait for Fleet Week. I see when he comes comes. All right, so can we review? Can we go back to six, eight maybe? See, I got a call here. I haven't called them. So but now you're in town. So weird. So there's something that there's something about him you're not in do. I told you, too. But if you want some but if you want someone for sex, maybe that's that would be good. I think I need to go younger. I think I need to go younger where it's like six, eight. He's like in his fifties. So I'll give him a call. I'm going to call him. Do it right now. Text him right now. Why talk to Sarah, please. There's no problems getting it up. And then. So text him right now. Let's see free response. Sarah, I can't believe this Felicia Navi pause is now gone. I mean, it is a joke now. Your followers are you have 2881 followers. For it's for my cat Instagram. Is that because of Kat Benatar? It's because of you because because you make fun of it. So everyone follows me despite you. You know who needs a little kitty? Lonnie. I know. I know she did say last time she likes kitty. And I got one. Look at the gray and white one. She's for sale. Wait, we're now we're selling. No, just for a small adoption fee of $20, I believe. I forget what the fee is. But you cover the fee. Of course I will. She's going to come with her toys. Look how cute she is. Really is cute. She's going to come with the problem is Lonnie travels so much. So then she need a house. Yeah. You travel more than any. I mean, you're gone all the time. You've got to make that money. So. Did you have trouble getting back? Did you text him yet? I just text him. What'd you say? I just say, hey, oh, he read it already. Oh, good. What did you say, Lonnie? I just say, hey, how are you? OK. Casual. Are you around this weekend? Yes, I am. OK. So I got to do a scene study. I got to focus. Jean, you have to be doing that 24 seven? Can you see six eight at night? He just read it. So maybe he'll answer. Maybe he won't. Let's see. Let's see. Maybe he will. Well, maybe send him a little titty. Oh, I don't know about that, Sarah. Nothing little about me. Nothing little about this one. OK. Thank you. So you had trouble getting back from Canada. Is that true? Yeah. So my gig with Martin was Toronto. And then we went to Detroit. So I drove to. I flew to Detroit, was driving to Toronto, got through Canada, no problem. But coming back to America, they actually they do this whole process now where they stop you to ask you a bunch of questions and they're like, you have any alcohol in the car. And I'm like, no, but of course I had alcohol in the car. Who does it? And, you know, they were like, do you have any fruit? And I'm like, no, of course I have fruit. Because I have, you know, to make your cocktails to the fruit. Yeah, she was drinking sangria. So I'm trying to like play it off of my assistant is next to me. He's young and he's like, look at crazy. And I'm like, just play it cool. Yeah, play it cool. And so we get past the first checkpoint after all these questions. And then there's a second checkpoint and they literally I'm not. I'm serious. They were letting all the white people pass. Like let them drive through and me with these braids. Stop. Oh, geez. It's like, what? And so you have to do all this maneuvers. They made my assistant get out the car and I don't know. But it took like 40 minutes to come back to the United States. So did they find your alcohol in your fruit? No, because I played it off. It's very smart. And I've said this over and over to Chumps because I used to have a retired police officer work for me. And she said that if you admit to even a sip of alcohol, they have to automatically test you. Yes. But she said you just kind of you just say no. You were just saying you had it in the car. No, no, no, no. I was like, I have nothing officer. Right. I see that's when the acting comes in. Yes. Yes. You know, and it's just, you know, and you you act sober and you act calm and you know, I had nothing. Right. So and he was like, OK, it's like, OK. So, Sarah, you know, you get pulled over. Someone asked you if you've had something to drink. That's my Uber driver, because that's all I do. Good. That's smart. Three dots is coming. Let's see. Now, you're going to have to commit if he's if he's like, what are you up to this weekend? What if he says he's listening right now? Oh, shout out to say good morning. I'm excited for you. This I don't think he can spell. It's a long. It's a long time. You know, I like that he's not checking. He's not checking. It looks like a long time. I do that, too. She's OK. We're waiting for him. It's like four lines. There's she's she's. Oh, wait. Her mouth. Her mouth is wide open. You read it. Oh, shit. I didn't know my readers. Morning, I am good. Do not want to text you wanted to talk to you. Having having heard your voice once in a while. Are you around in town? OK, so he's illiterate. But he's hot. But he's hot. We can overlook that. I think he's trying to say, haven't heard your voice in a while. He's got a little bit of a. It was taking a long time. He's six eighties very far from his phone. It's hard for him to see it. Yeah, yeah, those long arms. So he hasn't heard your voice in a while. He wants to talk to you on the phone. He wants to hear. That's sweet. Yeah, she's like, OK, what should I say? Counselor, what do we do now? We also should point out the bubbles are green. I don't know. That's a thing. What does that mean? I mean, she has an Android. It doesn't have an apple. Oh, is that a deal break? I don't care about that. It's a better. She was guys with no money. Yeah, for sure. OK, so the question is, are you around in town? Yes, I am. Yeah, I'm around. He said that. Oh, he's asked if you were around. Yeah, I'm around this week. When you travel again. In a week. OK, just say I'm around this. I'm around this weekend. OK. Do you have any plans? Let's get a drink. Oh, my God. Let's get a drink. All right, around this weekend. Let's get a drink. You better get pictures of it. Six, eight. I'm not a lot. Six, eight is going to have its own account after this. You guys are going to get me in trouble. OK, OK, I did. I texted. OK, so we're going to follow up here. It's going to take him a while to respond. Yeah. I believe. I was going to suggest before you met your ship, Bay. I was reading this article on people.com that then I thought of you, Lonnie. It says that this woman, she buys a soulmate drawing on Etsy. Have you seen these? No. No. OK, so it's this woman. She's only like 29 years old, but she's got three friends. They go to Big Bear for the weekend. They see this thing on TikTok, where you go on Etsy and you can you can have a psychic draw your soulmate for you. You don't want to do AI because they do it on AI. You want to find a psychic. OK. And so this woman got this this drawing of what is to be her soulmate. Eight days later, she had a first date with a guy. It was a setup. It looks exactly like him. She said it was a great date. She said that they have incredible chemistry and they're still together. Really? So I'm suggesting that we all do it, including you, Sarah, just in case John's not your soulmate. OK, just to make sure. I hope it looks like John. It's been 10 years. Who cares? But I want to do it. I want to do it. Yeah. I don't think it's that much. But you talk to the psychic. She supposedly reads your energy and she taps into your soulmate. And then I don't know if she tells us like how long. I don't think there's a time frame. This one on Etsy is 40 percent off. Twenty twenty two dollars. Oh, I want to do it. But that's the one for AI or is it real psychic doing? It says soulmate drawing and psychic reading. Oh, that one could be good. Did this girl show the photo and the photo of the guy and the drawing? And they really did look like. Really? OK, because sometimes, you know, you feel like you see a mugshot or something and you go, that's him and it doesn't. It's just a little bit resembling. It's close. It is close. I say for twenty dollars, let's do it. That's not that's not him. No, but that's a different one. This is a different account. This is a different example. Well, I mean, that looks like him. Just it looks like, you know, 30 years younger. So really, you just met your soulmate a little bit later. That's all. Yes. Right. She picked up your soulmate when he was. I will draw your future partner naked. Oh, how much is that? Six eight. Six eight. No, I don't know. This one's 1598. Oh, that's I'll cover that. This is psychic doing or an AI. You have to be really careful about. Yeah, I'll cover that and throw in a cat. AI. Oh, here's the other one. If you guys want to get up. Oh, people. Well, you can't even see the guy's face. That's the drawings for a handsome. The drawing is handsome, but there's no photo of the guy. It's very specific. Look, there is. There he is. Um, that looks like it's a handsome guy. It does. That does look like him. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Now scroll back up. Oh, shoot, it does look like. Right. Facial hair and everything. I said we all do it. OK. Can't wait to see a picture of broken. What if it isn't broken? Then I'll have to shred it. Throw it away. Jeff, what if they draw one of your exes? Oh, God. That's my gig. I'd ask for my money back. Well, then you can hire a witch on Etsy, too. So then you could hire a witch and put a spell on the person that drew the wrong soulmate. And you buy, you buy spells. Oh, yeah. You can buy witches. Yeah, so witches, they cast spells on Etsy. Some of them have been banned, but they keep getting through. I'm not too real. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. I think it should go. That's pretty. Can we research this, Kean, and see what we can do? Because I think Lonnie needs to sign up. I want to sign up. I mean, you're married to a good guy. I don't see how you could do better than that. No, he's. Oh, thank you. But no, I believe I agree with you. Yeah. He's the most perfect man. No, I don't. And they would draw him. You can do. I mean, well, yes, I mean that, too. I know what you mean. You can't do any better. I wouldn't. Yes, of course not. I know what you mean. Stop pushing luck. And I know I could not do better than John because he's perfection. However, I'm getting a little worried because, you know, he's very successful with buying these sports teams. Now, for a minute there, it was fine because he was buying these like baseball teams, right? But now he suddenly has shifted focus to women's soccer. Oh. The cherry bombs. Yeah. Lesbian. Where's the cute? No, I don't think so. I don't think they're all lesbians. No, of course not. And I'm a little worried he's going to start traveling with the team. He's secure. I don't know, Sarah. He's secure. No. Where is the cherry bombs? But Portland Cherry Bomb started in May and the gear is adorable. That's not a red flag to you. That sounds delicious. No. How old are these girls? I don't know, but it's pre-professional, so probably college age. Oh, Sarah. Stop it. You better go with him to those games. He's OK. He really is. I believe in John, so. He wouldn't mix business and pleasure. I think you can get too trusting. He doesn't want to lose Sarah. Well, because it would cost him a lot of money. A lot, a lot, a lot of money. Isn't it cute? The logo's adorable. Portland Cherry Bomb. Oh, that is so cute. Can I see the girls? Can we see what the girls look like? Oh, sure. Here we go. I bet they look like strippers. I don't know what they are. They don't. I don't even know if I know what they look like. They're in shape. Yeah. Sarah's in shape. Thanks, girl. I think it's a mistake to blindly trust people and give them that kind of lead, right? She's let them for ten years. He has no leash. One time when we were dating, he went to Vegas with a group of guys and he, you know what he did? He went to see the Frankie Valin musical four times. OK. They all went Jersey Boys. Yes, there you go. I couldn't think of the name of it for some reason. One night he was tech. He sent me a photo of himself outside, inside the theater at Jersey Boys. And I go, where are the guys? He goes, you know, they're at a dance club or something. I'm strutting. I was like, yeah. Yeah. I don't get that vibe from him. Yeah. If he was at a strip bar and he got a lap dance, would you have a problem with it? I wouldn't want him to get a lap dance, but I know that he also wouldn't get a lap dance. What if he did? If he did, I would think it was. I don't like that. I think it's not. Yeah, this is being honest. Sometimes we really don't know our partners. Right. I mean, I don't know. I'm not trying to make you paranoid. I'm not. You're not. Sounds like you are. What did he say? Are you available tonight? So you see what you got me into? Fuck yeah, you are. Yes, you are. He told us you are. You can't take it back. You are going. If I have to drive you there myself. You're going to Hard Noodle City. OK. It's got to go. Yeah, there's no noodles. Yeah, you need. No noodles tonight. No. Tube city. I don't know. I can't. I'm so sorry. He should have. You are available. Lonnie, text him back. You're available. You are available. Daddy. Suck it to me. Lonnie, get back to him. Is it too soon? No. OK. Yeah. No. Look how long it took him to write. Just are you available tonight? Yeah, I'm free. Four words. Just say I'm free. OK. Yes. OK, let's go. Yes. This is exciting. We're living vicariously through Lonnie. And then just send him the eggplant emoji. Oh, my god. Oh, no. That's my favorite. I've been disappointed through noodles, so I don't know. But OK. I don't know. I feel good about this one. Meet him up before. Yeah, have one drink and then go home. Don't let him have too many. OK. Yeah. Oh, I see. Oh, OK. Yeah, he's buying dinner. No, he's a big guy. He can handle two or three drinks. Yeah, he can. He can. I'll tell you. I'll make it even better. OK, let's meet at the restaurant. That we met at. Romantic. Oh, let's meet at our first place. No, she's in. And then she's in. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm going to get you a story, baby. Thank you. Can we book Lonnie for Monday? Yeah. For two hours. And then, OK. But no, I believe in John. Oh, yeah. I believe that, you know, I wouldn't worry. Oh, no, I don't worry about him. Not at all. You know. And it's a good investment. Women's sports is a good investment. It's a great investment. That's what he's telling her. They're super. They're super proud of it. They're just diversifying. It's really. Just some women's teams now. They already had a men's team, and now they have the Portland bangers or the men's team, and now they have the women's team. Does he own the bangers too, or just the pickles? Yeah. Wow. Pickles, bangers. What kind of names are you talking about? I will draw your future partner Naked 9-Hour Delivery. Oh, my God. Sign me up. Sign me up. Wow. Yeah. So it takes the mystery out of it, though. I bet I can. I bet I can draw your tonight's partner. I'm happy to give it. I need more paper. Need a whole scroll. Poor Lonnie. She's going to end up in the hospital. I know. What's the closest hospital to you in El Segundo? What's the opposite of Neuropathy for real? Like, this is Cedars or St. Joseph's. What's the? Cedars is kind of far. No. They might have to airlift you. Just look up who specializes in tears. Why do you always take it there? I don't know. I'm sorry. I feel like Ryan Bailey on the side. You are the female Ryan Bailey. Just a perv. That's not serious. I'm taking a pretty hand. Are you guys signing me up to be my credit card? Just put it on the production's card. This is research. How do we explain that to the accountant? It's research. R&D. So if you remember, well, you don't probably know this. We are down an employee. We lost our social media person. We had to let her go. Annie, she used to sit in the corner there. Yeah, I was wondering where is Annie. I also have to joke, because the corner has just one spotlight. The chair has a spotlight on it the way the lighting is set up in the studio. It looks like the Annie Sharp Memorial Zone. It does. It's like, would you see a play and they just put one little spotlight waiting for someone to come out? So I've got this little sarcastic nine-year-old, and I'm sitting at the dining room table with her last night. And I'm scrolling through my Instagram. And I follow. I still follow Annie. And her video popped up. And her one of her reels. And so Monroe loves Annie. So she goes, oh, can I see it? And then Monroe goes, wow, she looks pretty happy for not having a job. I'm like, it's true. She looks like pretty happy. She's resilient. Yeah. I was going to recommend her to Carrie, because Carrie needs an assistant. That's true. She really does. She'll have fun. Annie's fun. Oh, that's a good idea. Great content. She won't get much work done, but she is fun. That's a good idea, though. I know. I think Carrie wants a gay guy. For sure. And also maybe, I don't know if it would be awkward for her to work for someone in your family or not. I mean, you guys are a good term. So should be fine, right? Yeah. She's coming to get furniture on Thursday. Yeah. Well, I'm sure Monroe can't wait. Monroe told me last night she wanted to be a model. Oh. Because she doesn't want to study. That's what this is about. She doesn't want to study. She doesn't want to do her homework. She doesn't want to go to school. She came home yesterday. She's like, daddy, I'm really warm. I think I have a fever. And I go, mm-hmm. I go, OK, go get in the bath. We'll get your pajamas on. We'll get in bed. And then I already knew what she's up to. Because then she goes, you know, it's a school policy that if you have a fever, you have to stay out of school for 24 hours. Smart girl. Oh, my god. I go, Monroe. I go, Monroe. A Thursday night fever, of course. I go, Monroe. Long weekends. You're going to school tomorrow. So just so we're clear. Now, Saturday we see Grandpa. Oh, OK. Grandpa, she is prepared to pitch him because he pays her for her grades. And she did get a decent report card. But she got three As. But she's very much justifying the Bs to Grandpa. And how the Bs are as important as As. The As are just extra credit, blah, blah, blah. But then now she has switched her strategy. And she said, I'm just going to cry and try to get sympathy from Grandpa. I said, let me tell you, I know Grandpa. He does not respond to weakness. He wants confidence and strength. I go, you just have to stay. Like, you've got to pitch him. You've got to be confident. And you have to convince him that way. Crying will not work. Daddy's tried. I was going to say. I was going to say, sounds like someone wasn't allowed to cry. I know. I know. No. But because she's a girl, do you think your dad will be different with her? It's a little softer. I just, he's very entertained by the pitch. The, you know, trying to sell him. He loves to be entertained. And I brought this up on the radio before. When I was in high school. Now this was like 1986. And it's important to say that because this jacket I wanted was $300 in 1986. It was a lot of money. So my dad said, absolutely not. Because there was no, there was no reason. There was no holiday. There was no birthday. There was no nothing. So I spent, I think collectively about two weeks. I had 50 of my closest friends write one paragraph of why I deserve this leather jacket. And these are like, these kids are nuts, right? So they were on all kinds of crazy shit. So it was pages and pages and pages. And so I gave it to my dad. I go, this is why I deserve the jacket. And he was going through and reading the bullshit after the bullshit after bull. And he was laughing his ass off. And by the time he was done, he's like, I, I'm speechless. I can't believe you went to this extent. I can't believe you spent this much time. He gave me the 300 bucks. Yes. See? So I know how he works. So she just relentlessly keeps pitching him and justifying why she deserves the money. He'll give it to her. Okay. Because she's just one A short of the money. Is that what it is? Well, she gets a lot more money for the A's. But fortunately, she only got three A's. It's mostly B's, like two C's. Okay. But, but it's come up a lot. And that's why I keep, I tell her, I'm like, you keep telling grandpa how your grades have improved. Forget, don't focus on the A's grandpa. Focus on the improvement. That's where he needs, she needs to really manipulate him. Yeah, I brought the C to the B or the D to the C or what. Yeah. Like don't focus on the grades, grandpa. Look at the improvement. Look how hard I've worked. She's gone up a whole, a whole grade. I mean, that's, that's great. She really has. A C to a B. I mean, that's a big deal. Yeah. Lonnie and I are writers. We'll help her write something. Oh, will you? Yeah, we'll help pitch. Well, Lonnie's going to be real busy tonight. That's true. That's true. And probably unconscious. God! Hopefully again tomorrow morning. Should we get some smelling science? You're right. Can write from your hospital bed on Sunday. Thanks a lot, JetBlueers. You're welcome. How does it feel to face the storm head on, go beyond the map, drive into the extreme, or win a Ford Explorer? Test drive one before the end of May, and you could win one. Now how would that feel? Search win a Ford Explorer. Ready, set, Ford. T's and C's apply 25 plus only. See Ford.co.uk for details. I'm a little perplexed because Lonnie said that she's meeting 6'8 at 10 p.m. Just a drink. That's a booty call. No, it's a drink. 10 p.m. At the bar. What about 8 p.m. at the bar? No. Why is it so late? And we cut it off. Oh yeah. Lonnie, why so late? Because I'm only planning an hour with him. I'm gonna talk to him, we have a drink, and then boom, that's it. I am dedicated to noodles right now. Aw. Okay. She loves her noodles. What about from 7 to 8? I'm just worried about being up so late. I know. I'm going to dinner at 6.30. I love a 6.30 dinner. Yeah, with Doug, I'm going to dinner with Doug tonight. At 10 o'clock. Debar bra. Oh. Yeah. No, but I'm a Tommy. It sounds good until he said Doug. I love Debar bra. I mean, what are you guys gonna, I mean, just get ready, guess what you're gonna talk about? I have a lot of questions about airlines and tomatoes. And then I hope you're prepared to discuss mattresses because you talked about that for 25 minutes at brunch. I'm bringing three bottles of wine. However, because you were saying that. That difference doesn't make it. Where are you buying underwear? What time is this dinner? 6.30. Okay, do we eat quick? When it's with Doug, yeah. Yeah. I'm just kidding. You'll be home by 7.20. Is it just the two of you or is John here? No, John, the three of us. It's a triple date. I have been researching the mattress toppers. Okay. Now chomps are telling me the ones that are most effective are the ones with water. So now I'm kind of considering the water because you could heat it and you can cool it. But do you have to have that big box by the bed? Yeah. Does it feel like a water bed? You have to have a box. I probably have, what, like four gallons of water in it or something? I don't know. Does it feel like a water bed? No, I don't think so. I don't think, I think it has like small tubes running through so you don't really feel it. Okay. It just is either hot or warm based on. It sounds nice, but who wants to deal with it? Can you do one with like two sides? I wouldn't recommend water tubes for Lonnie because when she goes to Poundtown later, I'm afraid. Yeah, someone's pipes are gonna burst. Not just six eighths either. Yeah. This is noodles, nothing's happening. Cause I don't know if those work, but I guess I'll ask Doug tonight. But I have a cooling pillow and it doesn't work. How old is John? He's 45. Okay. So this is about the time like 46 is when my hormones dropped. He's 44, sorry. So it's gonna be, I think it's one of two things. Either he's having some like hormonal issues now. He's headed to a manopause or he's thinking about those cherry bombs. You and his cherry bombs. One of the two, but does he, maybe he's not, is he hot? No, I'm a hot sleeper. You need the cooling mattress. I know. But see, I love my temper, my temperopedic mattress topper. It is so comfortable, but now I just need something to cool me down. Like a fan? Air conditioning? That's all, that's all on. Yeah. Yeah. I know, I get, no, I get hot at night too. Well, be prepared. Cause Doug's going to tell you all about it tonight. Yeah. And it's tomatoes, by the way. It's tomato season. I know, I know, I know. And probably he's going to tell me what tomatoes to barber use. Three bottles of wine is not enough. No, well those are just for me. I would definitely have a traveler in the Uber. I would start with something stronger. Yeah. You're going to want to walk in with a bus. Yeah. And then the wine will just, it'll keep the bus. We'll probably go to the local bar before we get our Uber. I would suggest shots, but the food is so good there. So good. Well, so John had only been this place to barber. You have to go, you'll love it. Lonnie, it's amazing food. Where is it? It's in Hollywood. I would take you, but I don't want to go at midnight. Yeah. I think they're, yeah, they're closed. We're comics. We're comics. I know, but I'm so I'm up late when I'm on the road. And then when I'm home, I'm like, I like a nice early dinner. Okay. I do. I just like it. I think I'm just old at this point. I don't know what it is. No, you're just practical. You can go home. You can watch a couple episodes of TV. Yes. Oh, I got a show. What? For you that I think you'll love. What? With the fucks I call, oh, big mistakes. Who is? I've never heard of it. Tell me about it. It's with Dan Levy. Oh. Oh. Someone else told me about that. We just started it last night and we started, we just started blowing through it. We're already on like episode four. How long are the episodes? They're only like 30, 40 minutes. I love that. Yeah, I love that. Ad love it. Why Aladdin crushes in this show? No. Tell Lonnie what happened. So years ago, we saw Aladdin on Broadway and I thought the actor who played Aladdin was really good. So I stood in his DMs and I said, great show. Let me know if I want to get a drink and he never responded that bitch. So then we went back and saw the show again like three months later and I was like, great show again. I'm around and didn't respond. But now he's in the show. About the show, the eight episode Netflix series follows two directionless bickering siblings who are blackmailed into the world of organized crime after a shoplifting incident goes wrong. It's so good. And Laurie Metcalfe is in it, plays the mom and I'm obsessed with her. I love her. She's so good. She's, yeah. All right, I'm gonna check it out. It's good, it's perfect for you. Shane, maybe, well now you're with Brogan, but I was gonna say now that you're famous, maybe that fame whore that Aladdin actor would be more interested. Who does he play? It all worked out. Aladdin. Who does he play in the show? Or do you not wanna say? I don't know. Oh, okay. All right, we can drag him. He never got back to you. Shout him out. I don't know who he plays, I'm looking. His name is Jacob IRL, but I don't know who he is in the show. Okay. Hey, did I see a poster? You're on this comedy cruise, right? What, when? I was. South America. Yes, that's all. But then you post about some panel on cancer and early detection? No, AI panel. What was that? I don't remember. Oh. That, hmm? That was in my notes, Kean. He's gonna find it. Okay, thank you. Maybe somebody posted it for you. Maybe you can remind me. Maybe it was AI. Because that just doesn't sound funny. It's an AI. That didn't sound funny to me. It's an AI panel. Let me look. Oh, I do have an update on my weight. What's happening? It's been three months. I'm down 20 pounds. Yes! Wow! That's amazing. That's a lot. So my doctor took me down for next month, back down to a point five. Okay. And then he wants me to go back up to a 7.5. So. You're all bouncing. I don't know. Ask my doctor. You're down 20, that's great. So I'm trying to get down another 10 by my birthday, which is in July. So I just wanna say the chumps were correct when they said it takes time. They were correct. And then. How many months have you been doing it? Three. I mean, I think that's great results. 20 pounds in three months? If I were to exercise, it would be more. Well, you're definitely gonna do it. Well, you well tonight. Yep. You're gonna be down on it. A lot of cardio tonight. I am not doing anything. You're gonna be up 20 pounds during it, though. All right. So I'm just curious, like what, when you set up time for 10 p.m., what kind of message does that send? It feels like a booty call. Of course. We're comics. It's not a booty call. Is he a comic? Is 6-8 a comic? No, he's not. This is mixed messages. If somebody said meet at 10, that's a drink. I said for a drink. I said for a drink. I didn't say dinner. I said for a drink, Jeff. Daddy Jeff, don't worry. I got this. I think we should do it a little earlier. She knows what she's doing. What do you think about nine? She'll get the drink and then they'll go home. Look at Sarah. Sarah's already conserved. No, I'm actually just, I'm impressed that you make a 10 p.m. plan. Oh yeah. Yeah. I would stop by, you should pick up some ice. Exactly. Yes. I do want to, and one of those little donuts you sit on after like a... Ad Bill and some ice. Ad Bill and some ice. I am not. I am not. I am not. Line one, Pam in New Jersey. Hi Pam. Hi. Hi. Can you hear me? Yeah. Hi. I just wanted to say that, now that I heard that Monroe loves Annie, I am so glad you fired her, because she, Monroe has to see that. Yeah, yeah, it's cool and all, but you got to do the work. And I think that's the most important. You just can't be a spoiled brat. You have to be, you know, he has to be like Sarah Kelona. She's the coolest person ever. She is. Oh, shout out. Shout out to Sarah. Shout out to Sarah. Yeah, shout out. That's all I have to say. Is this Pam Kelona? Pam Kelona. I know. Pam, Sarah's sister. No, I just wanted to say that, because she's got to see, you just can't go like, slay, that's stupid. I mean, it's okay. But you know, Sarah's cleaning. And you got to do the work. I think you're absolutely right. Annie has a great personality, is so fun to be around. But yes, you have to implement the work ethic. And that is something I've been making very clear to Monroe, because she really liked Annie and she keeps asking me, like, why did you let her go? Why is she not here? And so I keep like trying to instill this in her. Like, this was the problem. Best thing that happened here, doing a great job. Thank God you did that. Okay, bye-bye. But I don't know if Sarah is someone to look up to. She is. Sarah was a responsible person on Chelsea Lately. She was the first one to actually marry Will. And she keeps doing her work. I think she's a very responsible, a great role model for someone like Monroe. Yeah. When do you want me to start mentoring her weekly? Does she want to be on the cherry bombs? Does she have soccer aspirations? I can get her in. She'd look adorable in a jersey. We've done some recon on the possible panel. Does this look familiar? What? That was on the ship. Okay. Oh my. She didn't get on the ship. The entire kids, any part of that's going to be able to do. Okay, so you are on a cancer panel. How'd you work cancer into your bit? No, that wasn't pretty easy. That was a, it was called a, it was for all the women, women only on the ship. It was a sisterhood like panel. And that lady that's talking is like a cancer expert. And she was telling people to do options, like trials and things like that. Don't just listen to your doctor, but they're, you know, I want to go on that cruise. You know what? That sounds like a great time. No wonder that guy couldn't get it up. Oh, I like it. Well, well, Bay, let me tell you about early detection. Let me give you a quick, Abstain check, I really, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, with his hot guy tonight. I kind of want you to mentor me. Yeah, I'm not worried about you at all. I know what you're saying. Well, I am. I'm actually, I'm worried about her. It'd be 10 o'clock talking about the cancer man. I'm just going to tell you. I bet you saw all the women down, and it was really powerful. You have options. You can get you. Can you get a cooling mattress quickly to your house so you have something to sit on afterwards? I'll give one. We're also excited for you. I know. And jealous. Oh, yeah. Well, I'll give you an update. I'm good at giving updates, so no worries. But will you stay up late if it's on? You're going to stay up later, right? Like you're not going to be like call it a night. But I'm not. I can already tell you. You're just going to have a drink. Can we have an open mind here? Please? Here we go. What? He just wants you to have a little action. Trying to reel it in a little over here. Thank you. Thank you. No problem. Also, if you are interested in learning about the different stages of cancer, cancer prevention, cancer treatment, early detection, you've got your stand updates. You want to promote? May 1st, I will be in Columbus, Ohio. May 2nd, I'll be in Cincinnati, Ohio. May 15th, I'll be in Atlantic City. May 16th, I'll be in Brooklyn. And May 29th and 30th, I will be in Charlotte, North Carolina. Thank you. And where do people go for tickets and venues? Spell it, please. L-O-N-I-L-O-V-E. OK. And is Sarah? SusanTucoman.com. Ha ha ha ha. Yes, I listened to Are You My Podcast on Wednesdays, the book list on Mondays. And then I'm adding dates. But right now, August 3rd through 9th in Vegas, September 25th, no, 24th through 26th, Batavia, more to come. But I'm off the road for a couple of weeks after. Yeah, because you're getting some, huh? Yeah. I had like, basically 10 weeks in a row. And I just need a break. Yeah. Yeah. John's 6-8 too. Do you think maybe you should do some Pilates, some yoga, some stretching today? I'm not doing anything tonight. I am not fucking 6-8 tonight. No. It's too much. It's too big. The law detects a determined that way. That was a lie. That's why you're doing the 10. Because if you did the 7, you're worried. You'd have four drinks and then. Exactly. Thank you. I need you to know. I caught in a hospital. What was the biggest before you got married that you could handle? I don't know. I never, I don't know what I have got. She knows. You don't want to be disrespectful to John. No, I just don't. I can't. I don't know if I've ever known how big anyone is. He's giant though. I have to do the splits tonight before we get home from the Barbara. Because I remember this is years ago. It was a guy. He had to at least be 11. And it was too much. That's too much. And so I'm afraid that, yeah. That 6-8 is 11 or more. He put the D in PTSD. I got to know, was it long and girthy? Yes. Oh my gosh. Almost a bit. Almost a bit of a direct to me. So I'm like, no, that's why I'm like, no. Do you realize that with anybody, if you don't know that person, you're really playing Russian roulette. Because you got to figure out what the size is. And you're trying to figure it out. And you don't want to get into that moment. And you're like, whoa, you are just too much for me. So no, I'm not doing it tonight, Jeff. All right. Fine. But we are drawing your soulmate. Yeah. You know, I'm just thinking about that guy without 11-inch penis. And I'm relating to him. No, but I'm wondering, I would imagine a lot of women are like, no, it's just not going to happen. I mean, I feel sorry for him. He should go gay. I think a lot of men too. Yeah. That's a lot to take in to your body. That's a lot. And a lot of pounding. A lot of, you know, just going in. It's just a lot out. And then it's, yeah. You know, it's a astro guy. It's a lot of gasoline. A lot of baby. It's a lot. So yeah, I'm not dealing with that tonight. No, I have noodles and we'll work on noodles till he gets it together. Do you have a flame broiler in El Segundo? I just, I love flame broiler. I love flame broiler. They have them down there. Like, in the South, I feel like. Do you have one close to the ground? Where do you eat down there? Well, I go to Manhattan Beach. Oh, that's bougie. Yeah. Well, of course. Wow. We have a bow on Manhattan. The rice, chicken, vegetables. OK. Yeah. Teriyaki sauce. It's real good. You got a fondue down there with those fondue places. Let's just talk about rest of the restaurant. Row on Rosecrans. All right. Where are you going tonight? What restaurant? In case any of the chumps want to stop by. It's called Eddie. Eddie. What is it, Eddie? Eddie V's? Yeah, Eddie V's. That's weird. Eddie V's. And where is it located? It's on, it's in Manhattan Beach on Rosecrans. It's Italian place, right? Yeah. OK. Eddie V's are in the neighborhood. Lonnie will be there at 10. Get some photos please of 6-8. You won't be able to miss 6-8. Please. You can't miss that guy. No. He says he's dick on the bar. So you're going to meet or in there? You're meeting there. He's not picking you up. No. Will you Uber there? No, I'm going to drive. See, that's why I drive. I'm a very smart girl. I've been doing this for a long time. I know, but if you have a drink or two, I would prefer you to Uber. No, I'm good. Stick side roads. I'm a calm. Stay on Rosecrans. Back to chumps. Yeah, Rosecrans is a major major major. Not at that night though, at that time. OK. All right, you know what roads to take. Yeah. We're not promoting drinking and driving. Which is going to say that. I just want to just say. No, we're not promoting that. I'm Uber-anchored to Barbara, just in case anyone is concerned. Well, you're going to have three bottles. Yeah, well. Can you hand me that? I want to promote Lonnie Love's cancer tour. Oh my god. Go to LonnieLove.com. Sorry, I can't get it to my arms out long enough. Sarah, are you doing a summer party or not? Stop fucking around with us. I don't know. I don't know yet. Stop saying that. I don't know yet. John hasn't told me. It's he has to plan it. He's got to spend some time in Portland. He's got it. Yeah. With the cherry bombs. Do you think the cherry bombs will be invited to summer? Oh yeah. That way we could meet them. Yeah. Now they'll be playing. Maybe we'll do a July, maybe a June party, because we'll have to probably go away for our anniversary, which is in July, early July. 10 years. Congratulations. 10 years. Remember, we're going to. Oh, I'm getting a necklace or something. Yeah, we're going to 24K. We are. I love this. John said he would. Thank you, Jeff. Lonnie Love, we all, I mean, our prayers are with you tonight. We're very worried. Can you text me after, please? Yes, I will. You have my personal number, right? Yes, I do. Let us know you're OK. OK. Yeah, I'll make sure you need to pick me up. Thanks for listening. If you want more of this, listen to Jeff Lewis Live every weekday on SiriusXM, as well as the Jeff Lewis channel, exclusively on the SiriusXM app.