356. Midlife Fitness with Autumn Calabrese

Welcome to the You Are Not Broken podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Kelly Kasperson, a board-certified urologist, thought leader, and conversation starter on midlife living, hormones, and sexuality. Enjoy the show. Hey, everybody. Welcome back to the You Are Not Broken podcast. I'm so excited today to have on somebody who I think I know, so now I understand it when people tell me they think they know me, Autumn Calabrese. Did I say your last name right though? I've known you for like seven years and I don't know how to say your last name. It happens all the time. It's Calabrese or Calabrese depending on where you are, but yes, Calabrese. I love it. Oh, welcome to the show. Thank you. Thank you for having me. I'm excited to be here. I was thinking about you today because I went to the gym and it is December and it is freezing and my body was cold and stiff and I'm like, how do we get women to understand you got to warm your body up so you stop feeling cold? Fitness is the way to not be cold. Exactly. Build that muscle, create that heat, especially this time of year when it is. I was in Ohio for Thanksgiving visiting my family and I don't do Ohio. I'm from Minnesota originally. And I'm like, I don't know how people reproduce. I don't know how they go on and get naked. I literally, I was like the thought of getting in the shower. I was like bone chilling cold. It was snowing. I didn't want to do anything. I was like, man, I forgot, but I understand why it's a little harder to get motivated when it's freezing outside. But I also just couldn't wait to move to reduce that heat in my body. Yeah. To me, I'm like, that's like, I think a lot of people don't know that as a physician, like people come to the office and they're like, I'm cold. And you want to be like, let's check your thyroid. Let's make sure everything's functioning. But like lift weights, spin bike, do a bunch of pushups. It really warms your body up. And I hadn't thought about it in a while until the weather's changed. And this morning I was like, had I not had a fitness routine that I do, you just stay cold all day. I'm like that. Even in LA, I'm like that. I wake up in the morning and I'm chilly. But the second I get my workout in, it's like, okay, all systems ago. Now the body feels like it's functioning properly. I'm not shaking and I'm ready to do the day. Yeah, and then you stay warm for a long time afterwards. It keeps going. Right now, I'm still warm and my workout ended an hour ago. It feels so good. It feels so much better than being cold. So to all the Midwest people, because I know that it's winter right now, that's the pro tip is get moving even though your body doesn't want to and your mind doesn't want to because it will work. One of the things I really like about you and all your programs is all the mindset stuff that you throw into it. And you're very consistent in that. So was that always how you were? Or have you been a student for a while and now you're like, I've got to put this in here? I think both. I've always been a mindset person, but I think the more comfortable I got, the more I learned and the more comfortable I got with it, the more I just wanted to give it back to people because when it comes to fitness, when it comes to a healthy lifestyle, the body doesn't change unless the mind changes, right? So we have to change the way we're thinking about approaching a healthy lifestyle, how we feel about ourselves, how we feel about what it's going to take to make those changes in order to actually make them. Because people always say, well, how do you stay consistent? Well, I lost the motivation. It's all in your mind. It's all the way you're looking at it, how you're approaching it. So just the more I was learning about it, the more I wanted to reinforce it. And I feel like, and I have read a lot of studies that's basically, when your body's in motion, you're going to retain things more. I know I am like that. I grew up as a competitive dancer. And the more I danced, the easier it was for me to remember and memorize things in school. My memorization just went off the charts. I could photographic memory my notes and take my tests so easily. So when I give that mindset, when you're moving, it's like, okay, I'm doing the workout. Now I'm integrating what she's saying about how to think about it and why it's important. And then as you go throughout your day, it pops back in there. Yeah, I love it. it's not like a listen to one video to get mindset, right? Like it is a, just like, it's like, you can't go to the gym ones and have beautiful muscles. Like it's, it is the lifestyle of you've got to put in the reps and continue to learn about it and understand how the brain works and, and keep doing the reps for the muscles. And it's all like, it doesn't just stick with one tidbit. No, definitely not. It is a reinforce on the regular forever. To me, I'm like, I've got like five pounds. I'd like to body recomp. Like I'd like five more pounds of muscle, five less pounds of adipose. My thought was, oh, these last five are hard. Then I was like, what if the last five are easy? What if all I have is five? What if this is the easy part? And it's like, dude, you don't realize what your mindset is until you can step out and catch those thoughts. I was just watching a video that was saying a Harvard study just came out, And it was saying the power of our words and how every cell in our body hears those words. And it's basically coming at a frequency, like a Hertz frequency. And that they were seeing that how you speak to yourself can actually impact how you heal and how your cells change faster than any supplement that you can take. And they did the actual blood work and tests and things to prove it. And so, like you said, just saying, oh, these five pounds, this last five pounds is so hard. it's so hard. You're just telling your body that it's hard. You're telling your body not to let go. But if you start reprogramming yourself, and I'm not saying like a fake it till you make it, but I'm really saying find the good. Like this is enjoyable. Wow, this is so much easier than it was when I had 20 pounds or 30 pounds to lose, or I've got the routine. So this is great. I just have to stick with it. There's so many positive ways you could start to look at it that will have a much more profound impact for the positive than just, it's hard. It's hard. I don't want to. I mean, that's when you give up. You're just beating yourself into submission. Totally. Who's the famous philosopher? Whether you think it's true or not, you're right. God, who is that? I can't remember now. I don't remember who said it. Somebody very famous. Somebody who's listening is like, Kelly, come on, you're brain farting right now. Both of us. They're like, get it. We're both brain farting. But yeah, that guy. They look at professional athletes and the people who make it to the Olympics and stuff. It's like they might have unique body genetics. They might be a certain height. They might have certain shoulder wingspans. But by and large, it's the mindset that gets them there. Yeah. That's why they have their performance coaches because at a certain point when you're that good, you can only do so much more training to the point where you're going to have diminishing returns. Then it switches to what is your mindset? What do you believe you're capable of achieving? When the moment is hard, when you're down, when you're out, what can you dig into to level up again? Because the skill is obviously there. Yeah, totally. I've seen this a lot. In midlife, when I prescribe hormones, I love hormones. Hormones help cells be healthy, love them. But some people think hormones are all there is. And they're like secret magic. And I just need the hormones and I'll feel better. And I'm like, no, your mindset. And when you're low, knowing how to get yourself back out of that, right? Because so many people think they're in like a stuck state and they're looking for like the hormone to help. But it's like, what are your tricks when you're low to swap out of that quicker than you tend to, like quicker than you did last week, quicker than you did last month? That's the work. Yes. And I can say that from experience. I'm 45. I just turned 45 in September. So I'm in perimenopause. I've been in it for a couple of years now. and I was already on HRT when I hit my lowest point. And what I mean by like, I just mean like a mess hormonally. I had been on HRT for a year already. So I was on thyroid, I was on estrogen, I was on progesterone. And I just remember like, it was just all in one week. It felt like it exploded on me. I went from feeling really great and looking really cute. I had a photo shoot. I had done this photo shoot, felt great at it. And a week later, I was at a work event wearing the same outfits on stage, teaching in front of 5,000 people and felt like they barely fit. So I know I didn't gain five pounds of fat, but all of a sudden I had all this inflammation. I was crying every day for no reason. I just couldn't get it together. And I had literally done blood work a few weeks earlier with my doctor. And I got back from the work trip and I called my doctor and I was like, I don't know what's going on, but I can't live like this. And he goes, well, we just got your blood work back. And he looked at it and he's like, whoa, you're a mess. And you got to remember, like, it's not like I wasn't already eating healthy, exercising. But for me, stress has always been the major one. I live in a state of chronic stress, probably have since I was a kid. And that is something that I have worked very hard. I'm not saying that it perfected by any means. But that was the thing that I really had to take the most control over in the last two years. I'm still on the HRT, still eat. I tweaked my nutrition a little bit because I dug into the research and I started figuring out, okay, what do we actually need to tweak here a little bit? But for me, managing the stress on my body was so huge. And the hot flashes and the night sweats, I mean, goodness, they were unbearable. And then I started to tweak these little things and it was like a whole new world. Poof. I know. I think doctors and people, like people are talking about stress, like manage stress, get your sleep, blah, blah, blah. But I think we kind of like lip service it a little bit, like meaning like, does the average person actually know what it means when they say, hey, you've got to manage your stress for your health? So like, what tips would you give people for that? First of all, I think we live in this state of chronic stress that we don't even acknowledge that we're under stress, right? It's so the norm. Totally. Like everything's fine. This is how it's always been. Yeah. And it's not, It's not fine at all. The world that we live in is stressful. So I think just even acknowledging that, you know, work can be stressful. You have to really kind of take a big picture look and go, where's all my stress coming from? Because every day, again, if you're used to living in it, it might just feel so normal that you, no, I'm fine. And that was sort of me. I was, okay, this is all normal. Like I've always had this stress. Well, it's compounding every single day in every single year. So breathing and breath work was the number one thing for me that made a big difference because I could literally do it anywhere. You know, people will say like, meditate. And I don't know why, but that's a harder one for me. Like, I'm not a sit still kind of girl. 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Ready to feel your best and write your second act script? visit join midi.com today to book your personalized insurance covered virtual visit that's join midi.com midi the care women deserve now back to the show but i can breathe we all have to breathe so i can actively go oh shoot i breathing into my chest let me slow it down in for five counts through the nose out through five counts through the mouth I can do it while I on work calls I can do it when I stuck in traffic Four seven eight breathing before I would go to bed That was a very big one for me. For almost a year, I dialed back in the way that I was training. I was doing a lot of hit training, high intensity interval. It still was strength training, but my body just needed a in it. I switched. I started doing more Pilates. I got certified in Pilates. It's been almost three years now that I've been studying it very regularly. And I switched to strength training, Pilates, and just one day of cardio a week because I still wanted to keep up cardiovascular health. But my body needed even that. Exercise is great for us. But if you're under an insane amount of stress, exercise is still a stressor on the body. So we have to be aware of the amount that we're putting on it. Really making sure I set a bedtime routine and, okay, I'm going to sleep at this time. The lights are off. The room is cold. The room is dark. The TV is off. Those little things made very big differences in the amount of stress on my body. And I also started to get really good at just saying, no, I can't do that. I'm not great at asking for help. That's been a hard one for me my whole life. And so I've really had to start to be okay with it. Yeah. I'm in the learning to say no phase. Because it's like what you said yes to to get you here in your career and where you are in life. You got here in part by your hard work, ability to tolerate stress, and saying yes. So it's like it got you here. It's not going to get you there. And furthermore, it's going to wear on you and it's going to aid you. And so I think so many women in our age group were like, No, yeah. Fully acknowledge you are successful because of your tolerance for stress, your ability to say yes, all of those things, your ability to not sleep. But now we're going to change the playground. And that's hard to be like, yeah, I know it got you successful, but it's not actually going to sustain you physically, mentally for the next phase. right and that's exactly right especially for me the tolerance to stress ability 18 hour work days never said no every opportunity yep i got it i got it i got it but yeah it's just no longer sustainable to function at that level without paying the price yeah i was just at a conference and they were talking about like the cellular resistance of an 18 year old you can beat up those cells and they're fine. Their resilience capacity is so much beyond our ability to beat it up. And then people are like, oh, you think people aren't going to age? We're still aging. We're just helping our body out by exercising and choosing hormones and choosing sleep and all this stuff. But as the cells age, it's like the tolerance for that window of beating up on it, you lose it. That's just an age function. And so then you're like, oh, that's why you... Because I think there's so many people are like, oh, I could handle it when I was 22. Why can't I now? And it's like, because you can't. And we're not not aging. Yes, we're trying to age gracefully. We're trying to do it with the least dis-ease possible. But it doesn't mean that it's not happening. Yeah, totally. For people who don't know, you started with Beachbody and now it's called Body. How are things different culturally with women working out now compared to when you started in the fitness industry? Oh, that's an interesting one. Okay. So when I started, well, when I started in the industry, I mean, it's been 22 years since I started. I was in my 20s when I started. But when I started with then Beachbody, now Body, I was a fitness competitor. I was still in my fitness competitor era. And it was, let's go hard. Let's lift some weights. Let's do it. It's okay to have the desire for a specific looking physique. It was okay to talk about weight loss and losing body fat. And then about when the pandemic happened and the world had a massive shift, that threw a really big loop. I think that threw the industry for a loop. All of a sudden, it was almost like you were a bad person if you talked about losing weight, if you talked about exercising for health. It was like, just let people live. And you must be telling people not to love themselves the way they are if you're telling them to exercise. And it was this very jarring place of trying coming from a place of wanting to help and encourage and support. But healthy is healthy and unhealthy is unhealthy. And now I feel like we are swinging out of it. And I think we're starting to see a little bit more of balance. We are seeing people go, okay, wait a minute. I do want to be healthy. We're hearing the buzzword longevity quite a bit, but wanting to have this longevity to us and again, living disease-free for as long as possible and having our ability to take care of ourselves on our own. I do think we're getting back to a point of acknowledging it's okay. It's okay to want to look a certain way. We want to achieve it in a healthy manner, but it's okay to want that. Because I feel like for a few years there, it was almost like you were shamed if you wanted to look a certain way. So I think we're seeing the pendulum swing. We're seeing women really starting to enjoy weight training again, a really big movement towards lifting weights again. But we're also seeing that right along with weight training, I mean, Pilates is at its all-time high right now. Its peak of people wanting to do it. I didn't know that. Well done. Yeah, which is fantastic. And again, but that goes to the mobility, the flexibility, the core strength, the proper posture, moving without pain. There's a lot of people out there teaching Pilates. And then there's true Joseph Pilates method. And I do think it's not that the other one is wrong. It's just Joseph's method was very specific. And I think that that is a beautiful little hybrid strength training, but then Pilates training for that mobility, that flexibility, that proper posture alignment. We sit so much. Every placement of your hand, the precision, every placement of your foot, the alignment of your head, you're rewiring your nervous system to move and function and activate in the right order. And then that carries over to strength training. Yeah. You know what a lot of people don't understand about strength training because you think it's just like lift heavy, lift heavier, lift heavier. And yes, but like the amount of flexibility, mobility work that goes into that. And the people who lift heavy will say that. They'll be like, I need a full day of yoga or a full day of mobility or Pilates to like, for lack of a better word, I know it's a crappy word, lengthen things out, but like get the stretching in there to get the blood flow into the joints. And the other big thing that I think people don't see with lifting weights is rest and sleep. You know, the big lifters are like, you've got to rest the body. And here we are thinking like more, more, more, more, more. But they're like, no, no, if you're not resting, that's when you build muscle, actually. Yeah. And the workout is when we break it down. If you're never allowing the repair time, you're never really going to make the progress that you're looking for. You're going to cause all the inflammation, but you're never going to have the recovery of it all. I mean, again, when I was a fitness competitor, my coach was a bodybuilder, a bodybuilding competitor. And I remember he would just, after competition, that man would be like down and out for days. He was like, I got to go sleep for days. Don't text, don't call. He's like, go do your recovery because he would compete at the same time. I just remember thinking to myself, because it was 15 years ago at this point, like, why do you need so much sleep? I was in my 30s. Well, now you're like, wise. He was prioritizing. Very wise. we need sleep these legs need to recover yeah well and i think you know to for people who aren't sleeping well it tends to happen slowly right it's not like you slept great and then tuesday you slept bad it's like it poor sleep happens slowly or not prioritizing sleep happen i'll just finish this one project i'll just watch this other thing on youtube blah blah blah blah right so it's like you kind of slowly get into the bad sleep and you don't realize how important it is and then you're like, dude, sleeps everything. I wish I didn't say that, but like sleeps everything. If you're not sleeping, like you'll die. Like literally you'll die if you don't sleep. I mean, we know people use it as a form of torture, like sleep deprivation. That's that alone should tell you something. And we don't, I don't think we often relate what happens when you don't get that good night of sleep. Like how many things that that triggers it, your mood is going to be off. Your cortisol is going to be high. It's going to start to trigger those sugar cravings because your body is looking for that readily available energy source. You're probably going for more caffeine, which is overtaxing the adrenals, could be dehydrating you. And it's just this vicious cycle that you get stuck in. But I also think that a lot of times people have a hard time with sleep, even going to bed, even going to their room or getting in bed, because that means their brain has to slow down. And if you're trying to avoid something, if you're stressed out about something, the second you get in bed turn the lights off turn the tv off put the phone down the brain goes and it's like well that's it almost feels more stressful to get in bed and lay there ruminating quince is all about elevated essentials that feel effortless designed for layering and mixing each piece helps build a timeless wardrobe made to last with versatile silhouettes and thoughtful details they're the kind of styles you wear again and again and they have towels i didn't realize how old my bathroom towels were until I replaced them. There's something wildly underrated about stepping out of the shower and wrapping yourself in a towel that's actually soft, absorbent, and feels good on your skin. It sounds small, but it completely changed my shower experience. It's that moment when you realize this isn't about towels. It's about upgrading the everyday things we've learned to tolerate. Fresh towels shouldn't feel like a luxury. They should feel like the standard. Refresh your wardrobe with Quince. Go to Quince.com slash not broken for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash not broken to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash not broken. Because you're like, you're like letting reality back in because you were distracting yourself? Yeah. So it's about taking that time like an hour before bed. Like what is that routine? Is it put the phone down, stop the doom scrolling. Do you need to sit and journal and write down all the things that are stressing you out to get it out? Do it. That's where, like I said, I like to get in bed. And if I do the four, seven, eight breathing technique, so it's in for four counts through the nose, hold for seven, exhale slowly for eight. I have to count. So I can't really think about anything else because I'm counting and I do a good 10 cycles of that. And then at that point, my body has gone into a much more relaxed state and I can fall asleep. Totally. And a lot of people will use alcohol and THC gummies to sleep because they just want to be like, they don't want to learn the skills of how to sleep or cut out the things like, but I like drinking coffee till 4 p.m. and I like my screens and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then so they'll use something to knock them out quick, but they don't understand that that's not great quality sleep, actually. And it's a stress on the body. I pride myself in my clinic. I'm like, you know the amount of people I've gotten off of the stupid THC sleep gummies because they are using them to sleep. But then they're like, oh, I don't need those anymore. I'm like, yes, another one. Check the box. Yes. I think that's what people don't realize. It's these little life changes to lifestyle that again all of a sudden you start to go oh wait I didn need that whatever you were taking to help you sleep Oh, I didn't even need my caffeine this morning. I had so much energy to get through the day. Hey, I wasn't super moody and yelling at my family all day long. But there is that period. I would say it's usually a good 7 to 14 days where you're trying to make those new lifestyle changes that are probably going to be uncomfortable. Like my hormone health program for women that I have, and it's women of all ages and phases. It's not just perimenopause menopause because so many women are experiencing hormonal imbalances. It's Belvitol, but we address nutrition, fitness, and stress management, and then some supplementation. But it's these little changes where I'm like, okay, we're going to cut back on the amount of caffeine we're taking in in a day. And I mean, the amount that some women would tell me they were taking in in a day, I'm just like, How much? Asking for a friend. Four to five hundred milligrams a day. One cup of black coffee is 80 milligrams. So that's roughly like six cups of coffee. Yeah. Or it's like, oh, I have two cups in the morning and then I have my energy drink and then I have another cup of midday. And I'm like, no wonder you're not sleeping. That caffeine has that half-life. It's a six-hour half-life, I believe it is. So every six hours, you're cutting the amount of milligrams in half. So if half of it's still in you, you're still raging. So no wonder you're not sleeping. And the first week they tell me, okay, I've got the headache, very low energy, and we're making sure they're hydrating and things like that. But the good news is, is usually when they start the program, they're at the end of the rope. So they're pretty dedicated. And that first seven days, if they get through that first seven days, they're usually feeling so good by the end of the seventh day. Not only are they more energy, sleeping better, headaches are gone, usually a significant amount of weight has fallen off in that for seven days. And they're like, wait, what? No, it's crazy. The body hangs on to stuff because it's stressed. And it's like the body, I don't know, like, is the body like, hey, we might die soon. So I need to hang on to some of this, right? Because it's stressed. And you like get the stress away. And the body's like, oh, okay, let me just clean up a little bit here. Exactly. It does. It starts to do all the cleaning up, you know, autophagy of the cells, the sweeping of the gut, all those things start to happen. But if you're in a constant state of stress, they don't happen. Don't happen. And I think, you know, our culture, people don't understand that our culture is like a thing. And like we respond to the culture, the thing that has been created. And the thing that has been created is this badge of honor for getting a lot of shit done, especially women. And you have to kind of prioritize your health and your body over what this culture is rewarding. Because at the end of the day, like nobody's going to take care of your body for you. And the facts are the facts. Stress is hard on cells. We know that. Yeah, that badge of honor of not only getting it done, but getting it done in the worst conditions possible. Oh my God, I got A, B, and C done and I only had four hours of sleep and I'm on my seventh cup of coffee. That's not something to be proud of. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got it done in the worst situation ever. Good for you. We're glad you can get it done. Now let's not get it done in those conditions. Let's get it done with a good amount of sleep and some water in our body and fuel. Yeah. I have another kind of big career goal that I'm making. And part of the conditions of it is it's going to be fun and I'm not going to hustle. And if I start hustling, because I'm like, the hustle got me here. And I'm like, but I'm not going to hustle for the first stage too. And if I do hustle, I'm cutting it. I'm done. I'm so being intentional upfront on it because I know I can't do what I did again, nor do I want to. So you have to be very clear of like, okay, I'm going to go for another big dream, but I'm going to do it different. And that's the joy in it of like, you get to be intentional at this point. Well, one, I'm very interested to know what that is. And also I'm doing the exact same thing. I have told people what mine is. I'm getting ready to launch a beverage line, matchas and functionals, and exactly that. I will hustle, but I will only hustle at certain times. Like, okay, this has to get done, but these are my work hours and I have to eventually turn it off or I'm not going to be... Because like you said, I cannot get there the same way I got here. I am not 29 years old anymore, 30 years old. It's got to happen a different way. so it's about working more efficiently instead of just working more it's like no let me be very intentional with my hours and my time that I'm putting in yeah I love it because otherwise the whole day is gone and you didn't get your workout in I want to just share my story because it'll be fun for you probably and fun for the listeners so I what was it I was sitting this was a mindset came first like the mindset to change your life with fitness it came first for me you know I've always kind of worked out and I was athletic and I liked to run and blah, blah, blah. But I had had two kids and I was sitting on the couch and I was like a woman with good arms, chef's kiss. I just, I just love looking at it. I'm like, I got to look so good. And so I was like looking at some woman with nice arms and I thought I'll get those arms when I retire. The special thing about that thought was I caught it, right? I was like, oh, my plan is to work out when I retire. When am I going to retire? Probably not for a while. And so I caught the bullshit and I caught it. And I was like, that's a bullshit thought. Why wouldn't I work out until I retire? That's a bullshit thought. And so I actually met online in a physician group, an anesthesiologist who was a mom who was doing, it was Beachbody at that point. And I was like, okay, I see it. That's a female physician with kids. So when you see it represented, then you're like, okay, I can do that then because she's doing it. So I started Beachbody. This was in 2017. I have stuck with it ever since. I've done over 2,000 workouts. I still have an accountability group. I've done almost every program. I've got nice arms. The other part about it was like, I'm not a morning person. I don't work out in the morning. And then I was like, oh, maybe that's bullshit too. Because I was always waiting to have enough energy after dinner, after the kids went to bed. And there was never enough energy left at that time. It was just never, can you stay energetic enough to then work out? And I think that's where the like, that's just more stress on the body at that point because you're already exhausted. And so like I started working out in the morning and it sucked in the beginning. And then, and then a weird thing happened. I started looking forward to going to bed so I could wake up to work out. And I was like, what? Who am I? Who am I? The other thing that was shocking. By month four to six, I started noticing body changes. And again, our culture is like six weeks to best abs, four weeks to toned arms. It's like, dude, you guys, this takes a while. It takes a while and we have to be patient with it. So there, that's my Beachbody story. That's incredible. Over 2000 workouts and you still have the accountability group. That's huge though. I really like what you said about the fact that when you saw somebody else like you doing it, then it was like, okay, if she can do it, I can do it too. And it's one of the reasons I absolutely love Beachbody and what we've done over the years. And even though we don't have our coach network like we used to, we still run groups and things like that in our platform, because that's the point is to show people like, everybody can do this. There's something for everybody, whether it's 10, 15 minutes a day or an hour a day, depending on what you have. there's more than one way to get there. I think that's a question I always get. Well, like what's the best program? And I'm like, well, the best one is the one you're going to do. If you're not going to do an hour, if that's going to stress you out, then do the 30 minutes. And watch out because if it's a 25 minute body program, it's hard as hell. Don't be fooled. We're getting it done. Don't be fooled. Yeah. We're not over here just, you know, taking it easy. Taking it lightly for 25 minutes. Because like me and my group, like we know, we're like, oh, if it's 20 minutes, that's a hard, that's going to be a very hard program. They're going to pack it in. Yeah. It's one or the other. You got to get it done one way or the other, but there is something for everybody. And the fact that you've been so consistent for so long and that you got to that point where you started to look forward to the workouts, that's that mindset that hits. The pride that comes from doing it. The first few days, you hate it. But after even like three or four days, you start to get really like, yeah, look at me. I did it again. I got up and did it again. Because we like to have those braggy moments of, oh my gosh, I was up and I got it done. I say it all the time in my workout. I'm like, I know I'm kicking your butt, but you would not be happy with me if you left here feeling like you had more to give. You'd be annoyed. You'd be annoyed that you wasted your time. You definitely wouldn't go brag on social media. I just had the easiest workout. I'm so glad I did it. No, that's not what you're looking for. I was working with my trainer this week and she's like, one of her other clients was like, I can't wait for the time when this gets easy. And she's like, the secret is that it's always hard to lift weights. Otherwise, you're not challenging yourself, right? But it's like the mindset is like the hard is the point. The hard is what stimulates the body to get stronger. But there's no like, oh, this will just be easy all the time now. The part that gets easy is the mindset shift, is that when you really continuously drill the mindset, it's easier to be in the discomfort. You embrace the discomfort. You expect the discomfort. That's the easier part of it. It's not easy, but you know that's what's coming. You know that's what's necessary and you're ready for it. You accept it. Whereas in the beginning, you're like trying to do everything to not be uncomfortable. Totally. And I think part of it is just like, you just get more confident that you're not actually going to hurt yourself. right and for people who are actually going to like a physical gym with free weights like get a trainer have somebody watch you be spotted you know especially if you want to push it like you don't have to do this alone but the other thing i think that is you know beach body is so and body is so amazing is the accountability groups because i'm like turns out i was better at showing up because i knew other people were going to show up that accountability that i was like i wasn't willing to be accountable to myself which to me i'm like oh that's that's effed up Kelly, work on that. But I will show up because I know other people are going to show up. And that's where we still have a Facebook group. I've already posted mine today, never miss a Monday, posted it. I've been doing that for nine years now. That's incredible. It's pretty crazy. It adds up, right? For sure. Nine years. That's nine years of consistency. That's where the true magic happens. It doesn't happen overnight, no matter what everybody wants to think or people want to say. But no matter what, It's like it's the consistency over time. So you might have some times in there where the workouts are a little bit easier or maybe they're not as frequent. Maybe it's four days a week instead of six or they're shorter instead of longer or maybe the nutrition isn't as dialed in. But it's the consistency over time. It's not the how hard can I go for three weeks, right? Can I beat my body into the ground for three weeks? Oh, my gosh. Yeah, I got there. I can't wait to go indulge in all of the things and not work out for a week. You set yourself right. back. It's the show up, do the work, stay consistent, keep going, allow for a little bit of the little treat here, a little treat there, allow for the rest days. But it's the mindset of I am a person who exercises. I am a person who eats healthy. It's that identity that is going to get you there and keep you there. Let talk about that because I think people you know the fitness people they say it a lifestyle It a lifestyle And then people who aren they like what this lifestyle And I think you just nailed it It a mindset Lifestyle is a mindset Because you like, what's this lifestyle? Oh, it's a mindset. It's a mindset. And I'll go one step further. So Tony Robbins says this, it's an identity. And he explained it so well. So I'll just explain it the way he did, which was he was like, if you're not a smoker, that's an identity. I am not a smoker. So if somebody walks up to you and offers you a cigarette, you're not going to ask them what brand. You're not going to be like, well, what is it? Maybe I'll smoke it. No, I'm not a smoker. So you can have that same mindset or identity around, I am not a procrastinator. I am somebody who exercises. That is your identity. I don't skip my workout because I'm somebody who exercises. Now, if I wake up one day and I'm super tired, I didn't get a good night's sleep, I'm very sore, maybe my workout changes. Maybe it's a walk. Maybe it is yoga, stretching, Pilates, something that's lower impact. But I'm a person who exercises, so I'm going to move my body. There are certain things that I don't eat or drink. That's just me. So that's just a part of my identity. I mean, I think I've had one soda probably in like 10 years. So if somebody's like, oh, do you want soda? I don't say what kind. I just, I don't drink soda. That's just me. I don't drink soda. So I don't care what kind you're offering. I appreciate the offer. I don't drink soda. Thank you. It's that. That's the lifestyle that I think fitness people are talking about. Those are the things that I eat healthy. I eat vegetables. I eat fruit. I don't eat an excessive amount of sugar. That's the lifestyle. Yep. I see it a lot with, I'll joke, I'll be like, sugar's all I have left. Because I don't drink alcohol. So I'm like, sugar's all I have left. And to me, when I want to reach for the sugar treat, what is my thought? right? And my thought, because I'll catch it, my thought is I deserve this. And that's a very strong thought when you're trying to give up sugar because you're breaking you thinking you deserve something and a reward, right? So that's the coaching on a lot of this of like, can you see the thought that's keeping you in this habit? And can you replace it with I am choosing a fitness lifestyle, I'm choosing low glycemic index carbs, whatever it is to replace the like, I deserve this. That's a pretty powerful thought. That'll keep me in the mint chip Haagen-Dazs if I don't work on that thought. And it could be flipped just to I deserve to feel good. The Haagen-Dazs might make you feel good in the moment, right? Because you're going to get that little hit from enjoying the taste and the sugar, but it's going to leave you feeling good long term. So I love sweets too. I'm a sweets girl. That's the thing I got to put the circle around and okay, where are the boundaries with it? Kind of like alcohol. I'll have a glass of wine every once in while, but I don't ever have alcohol because of something bad going on in life. It is never a coping thing for me. If a glass of wine sounds good, oh, that sounds good. Like last night I went out to sushi with some friends and I had a glass of wine. It sounded good. I didn't, that's the first glass I've had in, I don't know, two weeks. So great. Fine. I had a glass. Same thing if I want a dessert. Oh, it sounds good, but it's never, oh my God, this day was so awful. I'm just going to sit down and I'm going to indulge in this. Those are the moments where I turn to what other healthier coping mechanism can I use? Am I taking a walk? Am I calling somebody? Am I putting on a funny movie? Am I indulging in the little bubble bath skincare routine? Something that is just going to help me relax, but that's not going to be detrimental. Yeah. I love it. I think it's helpful for people to be like, there's tips and tricks around this, right? Because I think some people are just like, oh, well, Autumn just has something that I don't have. You just got this genetic gift or whatever. And it's like, no, no, no. This is all human stuff and it applies to everybody. I saw a statistic recently and I think it was 27% of Americans lift enough weights, whatever the guidelines for lifting weights are by the government, which is I'm guessing low. So it's probably a low bar. Less than one third of adults meet that bar of lifting weights. And the data that's coming out now on leg strength being correlated with risk of dementia and how muscle strength is brain health, basically. So I'm plugging. Maybe you should do a muscle brain program at some point. Listen, I love the spin on it. I mean, obviously, if you've ever done any of my workouts, everybody knows leg day is my favorite day. Right. And the data is the biggest muscles are the ones most correlated with it. I don't know if you know about this twin study. They did an identical twin study. It was female twins. And they looked at leg strength. And it was the twin with the biggest leg strength had the least risk of dementia in the future. So that study is going around right now. and these are identical twins so you couldn't say it was like a genetic thing that like you know one was strong whatever so it's like dude muscle strength is directly correlated and i'd say besides breast cancer second thing women are most afraid of dementia yeah i know for me that's huge because i've had my genetics done and i have the double whammy from both my parents i have the gene mutation for alzheimer's and dementia oh you're apo apo 4e and for anybody listening you can just That's just a lab test at Quest now you can get. Yes. And it's a scary thing when the doctor tells you, he's like, oh, you got from both parents. So you really need to be on top of this. I'm like, oh my gosh, all the brain health. But the good news is, is that I've already been building the habits that I just need to keep going with. it is a really important one that we're starting to, you know, grip strength has been related or correlated to health and longevity and lifespan. But you can't just sit in a chair and work on grip strength. That's the people, the people are like, so the hack is you sit in your lazy boy chair and just squeeze a tennis ball, right? It's like, no, grip strength is correlated with overall body strength. You can't just work on your grip strength. You can't just work the grip strength, right? Exactly. And ultimately, it's the lifestyle stuff that is really going to have such a massive impact? Oh, total gains. I mean, even for women, it's like women live longer, but we live more years in ill health. And it's like, let's tighten that up. Peter Atiyah talks about like your last decade of like, get your last, everybody gets a last decade. We do not know when that is, but everybody gets a last decade. And can that last decade be as functional as possible? So you're not dependent and all the things. to me, I'm like, dude, I can't open jars as it is right now. I got to keep my strength. Those jars aren't going to get any easier to open as we go forward. Exactly. We got to keep it all strong. I love it. Well, to leave us today, to me, I'm like, this mindset is everything and right up my alley. What else do you want women to know in midlife? I think it's so important in this midlife. I was really just thinking about the other day. I was like, wow, I can't believe I'm 45. I'm closer to 50 now. I really am at the age where midlife is midlife. But it's not this sentence of doom and gloom. It really can be coming into the best years of our life because we've learned so much and we've experienced so much. And you probably are at a more established point in life, career, kids, that it's like, this is your time to shine. But it's all going to start with your mindset. If your mindset is, oh my gosh, it's perimenopause and my hormones, and it's going to be awful and miserable, and it's all downhill from here, that's probably what you're going to get. But if you really are like, no, no, my body is not broken. It is made to work. I might need to work a little harder to help it, but it's made to work. What can I do? What are the small changes? That's where you're going to go from surviving to thriving. And we all want that. I think we want to thrive. I know I'm not looking to just survive every day. I want to feel my best. The thing I see is a lot of women don't understand, if you're not feeling good, it's really hard to understand that feeling good is possible for you. So it's like, find the people who can lead the way of like, because when women go from not feeling good to feeling good, they're like, oh my God. So it's like, trust that feeling good is possible. and that you're going to figure out how to get there. And everything we talked about today is the path to feeling good, which feeling good is freaking amazing. It's amazing. I'll leave you with this. When I was in Ohio for Thanksgiving, I ended up with a little stomach bug and it was freezing on top of it. So I didn't work out for six days. I was in so much physical pain, meaning not my stomach, my back hurt so bad from the lack of movement. Everything was tight. Everything was just unaligned and achy. And after that first workout, even though the workout was a little harder getting back into it, I was like, oh, I feel so much better. Like the back pain is gone. But I had to push through the fact that my back really hurt. And oh, am I going to hurt myself because my back already hurts? So we think the workout is going to be the hardest part, but I actually think the lack of movement is so much harder and feels so much worse than the 30 minute workout. I mean, that's a crazy thing too, of like how quickly it happens. You know, you're like, no, no, you got to keep, got to keep the better, make it a lifestyle because the bedbound, like how fast you lose your muscle is like, no, you got to keep doing this. You know, I tell people, it's like, um, you don't put a seatbelt on once and then you're good. You don't floss once and then you're good. Like there's all these other things in our life that were like, I wore a seatbelt once. I'm good, right? It's like, no, no, you got to keep wearing the seatbelt. Got to keep living the lifestyle to make it work for you. Thank you so much for coming on. I know you're on Instagram. For anybody who's been under a rock, B-O-D-I.com. That's where your Bell Vitale program is and all of your other ones because I've been doing it since 2017. You're fabulous. I welcome you into my home all the time. And thank you for your decades of dedication to helping women feel better. Thank you so much. My pleasure. Thank you for having I mean, happy holidays. Happy holidays. Thank you for listening to this week's episode of You Are Not Broken. If you want to dig deeper with me, sign up for my adult sex education masterclass, where you learn adult things like communication skills, anatomy lessons, and desire types, and how to talk to your doctor about sexual health concerns. If you want the adult sex education masterclass for free, join my monthly membership for more in-depth exclusive content, more time with yours truly, a private podcast, coaching, and educational empowerment. And you can watch my interviews live and get them immediately without advertising. Head over to www.kellycaspersonmd.com for the membership and adult sex ed master class. Members get the master class for free. This podcast is presented solely for educational, entertainment, and informational purposes only. I am a doctor, but not your doctor in this format. and all of my platforms and guests, including on this podcast, are not giving individual medical advice or practicing medicine. See and consult with your own care team for your individual needs and concerns. This podcast is not intended as a substitute for the care and advice of a physician, therapist, or other qualified professional. This podcast does not constitute the practice of medicine, in case you were curious about that, and no doctor-patient relationship is formed. But I still love you. Using the information on this podcast or any of my platforms is at your own risk. Until next time, remember, you are not broken.