Ep. 565 We’re Wired to Lose Focus – The Best Tools to Reclaim Clarity & Conquer Overwhelm with Dr. Zelana Montminy | Menopause & Mental Health

Welcome to Everyday Wellness Podcast. I'm your host, nurse practitioner, Cynthia Thurlow. This podcast is designed to educate, empower, and inspire you to achieve your health and wellness goals. My goal and intent is to provide you with the best content and conversations from leaders in the health and wellness industry each week and impact over a million lives. today I had the honor of connecting with Dr. Zelena Montmemi she has a doctorate in clinical psychology and has built a career advising and speaking for fortune 500 companies academic institutions and appears regularly on good morning America the today show and access Hollywood. We spoke about novelty bias and how it impacts our neuroanatomy and loss of conscientiousness, the myth of multitasking and task switching, generational changes, disconnection from ourselves as well as our environment, the importance of the gut brain connection, social tools, including the Pomodoro technique, as well as the value of curiosity and the role of awe. This will be an exciting and innovative discussion on how our bodies and our brains are being programmed to lack focus in our personal lives. But she provides a really wonderful narrative in her book to help get us back on track. So good to have you on the podcast. I've really been looking forward to this conversation. Welcome to Everyday Wellness. Thank you. I'm so happy to be here. When I was reading your book, there were definitely things that stood out to me. And, you know, obviously, I'm the parent of teenagers. And novelty bias for my teenagers is probably a little bit different than what my generation experienced, because there's so much technology now. Help us understand what is novelty bias? And how is the influence of current technology, smartphones, the ability to order anything up we want any time of the day or night? How is that influenced in the way our brains work and process information? Great question. So novelty bias is really essentially the tendency for something to appear better when it's new. So it's more exciting for our brain. There's newness. And so our brain lights up and everything fires and it's like, oh, this is cool. This is great. I want to do this. I want to engage in this. I want to be part of this relationship. It's the same thing when we just meet someone new for the first time and get excited about it in a different way than when And we've been with a partner for 10, 12, 20 years, right? So the same thing kind of happens with any new situation or environment. And so what's happening now is that nothing is really that new. We are constantly flooded with information, with pictures, with we don't ever have to wait for anything. And especially if you're talking specifically about children, their brain has essentially evolved and developed in a space and a culture in which they really don't have to practice much to get the reward. So they don't have to wait in lines. They don't have to wait on radio stations to get to their favorite songs. They just touch a button and they get to it. They don't have to practice the important skill of sitting with discomfort in order to benefit from a reward. They skip over all of that. And the danger with that is that the brain gets used to that, right? And the brain is a muscle. So whatever we use strengthens and whatever we don't sort of drops off. But especially in a developing brain, if they're not constantly exercising those connections and firing those neurotransmitters, it doesn't strengthen and it doesn't build. So what our children and the younger generations are experiencing is this like really fast dopamine. And you've probably heard of dopamine, sort of the pleasure chemical that we get whenever there's a reward and we feel good. So we get these quick dopamine hits, but they've sort of learned that they can get it just by anything, by gaming, by the likes on their socials, by messages coming in, by notifications. And they get that quick pleasure without working toward it. But the human brain evolves much healthier when it's slow dopamine. So when I say slow dopamine, like the drip, it's kind of how we were raised. And when we talk about the slower childhood and the play and the importance of boredom and all of that, that's when kids learn that they have to practice something. Then once they get it, like a certain skill, like they get that soccer ball in the net because they've practiced for X number of hours, they get the dopamine that equals to them the relationship between work and pleasure. Now, it's the same when we talk about relationships, and that's also the missing piece of the younger generations. They don't really have to work to create connections anymore. So they're skipping over the discomfort of getting to know each other, the vulnerability that's necessary to go deeper into relationships because their brain is now used to that quick dopamine, and they just want the pleasure piece of relationships. and that's also I'm sort of going off on tangents but why we're all so deeply lonely yet we're the most connected generation ever it's interesting no no I think this is an important point because I was talking to I have one in college and he's an engineering student so he does quite a bit of studying right and I was trying to explain to him what college was like in the 1990s. Right. And I said, there was no internet that you searched for resources on, I said, so you had to go the lot physically go to the library. And I'm really dating myself when I said there was like a card catalog, you'd pull out, you know, you'd have to climb into that, we call them the stacks at Hopkins and the medical school, you had to climb in the stacks to find primary sources of research. And I said, there was a physicality to having to obtain things that now is done so passively. And I was having the conversation to really help him understand that there are pros and cons to having all this technology at our disposal, like both good and bad. And my concern is as a parent, like first, I'll say from that perspective, my concern is as a parent, is this generation, are we going to see more issues related to mental health? If we have this incredibly lonely generation, or, you know, for everyone that's dealing with all this technology, they're connected, but not connected. What is the long term sequelae that comes out of that? Like, what will be the long term impact? Do you have any ideas as a clinician yourself, like when you start to think about what's the long term net impact of all this technology, all these dopamine hits that we're getting so easily and effortlessly, we're essentially rewiring our neuroanatomy. Totally. Yeah. And it's not, you know, people often say, well, it's the same, like when TVs came on the scene or when, you know, computers were invented. No, it's not. It's actually not at all. Tech TV is long form content. It's different. Yes, it was new and exciting, but you know, we didn't have it in our pocket. We didn't have 24 seven access to it. Our parents would have never done that. Right. And so it's a very different way of training the brain. And again, because like you said, and like I've mentioned, the brain functions and strengthens as you use it, we're essentially seeing the brain, certain parts of the brain go into atrophy. Like if you're, if you just stop going to the gym and you stop lifting anything, you will cease to have muscle tone, right? So the brain works very much in the same way. And actually so does our mood and emotions. And that's why I like to call this sort of more emotional, mental fitness, because we have to keep it up. We have to keep thinking about it, working on it, processing it in order to strengthen our ability to move through our emotions versus kind of get bogged down by them. And so what we're seeing in the younger generations now as they evolve and develop is actually a big study just came out. I just read about it this morning. I'm trying to remember at what university, but the loss of conscientiousness. I don't know if you saw that cross your desk, but we're seeing now a huge, huge, steep loss of conscientiousness in the younger generations because it's so easy now to just not go to an event that you RSVP'd yes to, because it's all digital. You're hiding behind screens. It's so easy to not show up to something or to just flake or to not really send a thank you note, like who even writes anymore? Right. And I'm not saying that because I'm particularly old school. I'm saying that because the process, even just let's say writing a thank you note, actually activates parts of the brain that are part of the writing process and part of the thinking process. What should I say? I'm not going to have AI write this. I'm actually going to handwrite a note. Why is that important? Not just because it's like polite, but because it actually creates an empathic feedback loop. So you're not just saying thank you impulsively or quickly. You're actually thinking through it and it deepens our empathy reserves. And that's part of the problem also. And to answer your question is what are we seeing long term? We're also seeing empathy sort of decrease in a very profound way, mostly because in order to process all of the information that's constantly coming at us and all of the clickbait content and the news and everything that our brain is not meant to process, we've numbed ourselves. We're numb to the next, you know, catastrophe or the shooting that happened or this or that. Like we're sort of like, OK, like it's horrible. I feel for the families, but I can't, our brain isn't meant to take all of this in at one time. And so that's also what these, the younger generations and us are privy to is just this constant influx of information that our brain can't process. So we're seeing younger generations also become pretty numb to things that would have really affected us otherwise. And so, you know, there's ramifications with others, with relationships and with ourselves. If you're in perimenopause or menopause and are feeling more fatigued, dizzy, lightheaded, struggling with headaches or noticing your workouts feel harder than they used to, electrolytes may be part of the missing piece. As estrogen declines, we lose some of the fluid regulating and vascular protective effects that hormones once provided. That means blood pressure regulation can shift, cortisol can run higher, and many women become more sensitive to dehydration, especially if you're strength training, walking more, intermittent fasting, or reducing processed foods. That's why I love Element. It is my favorite electrolyte formulation, and I've exclusively used their products for the past six years. Element contains a science-backed ratio of sodium, potassium, and magnesium without sugar, artificial ingredients, or unnecessary fillers. It supports hydration at a cellular level, helps reduce muscle cramps, improves energy, as well as recovery, and can even support better stress resilience. This is particularly helpful in midlife when we're prioritizing metabolic health and muscle preservation. I personally use Element throughout the day, and it's become a staple in my routine as well as my household. If you'd like to try it, go to drinkelement.com slash Cynthia to receive a free sample pack with any purchase. Stay hydrated, stay strong, especially in midlife. If you're a woman in midlife or beyond, you'll probably notice those changes in energy, strength and recovery just don't feel like they used to. And what's frustrating is that for many women, this happens even when you're eating well, lifting weights, prioritizing protein and doing all the right things. You're not lazy, you're not unmotivated, and you're not doing anything wrong. A big part of what's changing actually starts inside your cells. As we age, our mitochondria, the energy-producing structures inside our cells become less efficient, and when mitochondrial function declines, it can show up as lower energy, slower recovery, reduced muscle strength, and feeling less resilient overall. This is a normal part of aging physiology, and it's one of the reasons midlife can feel so different. And that why I added Mitopure gummies from Timeline Nutrition into my daily routine Mitopure is the only clinically proven form of urolithin A a compound shown in human clinical trials to support mitochondrial renewal. In simple terms, it helps your cells do a better job of making energy. And when your cells have more energy, your body is able to support strength, endurance, and recovery as you age. What I appreciate most about Mitopure is that it's foundational, not flashy. This isn't a stimulant or a quick fix. It's a daily habit that supports how your body actually works at the cellular level. And the gummies make it easy. They're just two sugar-free gummies per day. They're vegan and cleanly formulated. They're independently tested and certified for quality. And if supporting your energy, muscle health, and overall resilience as you move through perimenopause and menopause is important to you, MitoPure is worth considering. You want to go to TimelineNutrition.com slash Cynthia and use code Cynthia Thurlow for 20% off your order. Again, that's Timeline.com slash Cynthia and use code Cynthia Thurlow for 20% off your Mito Pure gummies. I think you bring up so many good points. First and foremost, thank you notes. I actually, I've actually said to my kids, I'm probably one of the last parents on earth that still has their children pen to paper, whether it's Christmas or their birthday is like you will take 15 minutes to thank family members or loved ones that have sent you a gift, because I think that's important. What's interesting is my mother is a compulsive thank you note writer, like compulsive. And when my mother who writes in cursive sends a thank you note, my kids will say, I can't read that. Right. This generation can't read cursive. They weren't taught cursive. They think it's a lost art. So when I write a card to them, I print. Yeah, me too. And that always cracks me up. I agree with you about the empathy piece. In fact, I've had conversations, especially with my older son who just turned 20, so technically no longer a teenager. He's now really a young adult about things that have happened and the differences in communication patterns between our older relatives versus my children and their peers. And I was saying how my mother or loved ones of that generation, when they get worried about something, it's like their brain is on repeat. I'll give you an example. My older son and I were in San Francisco. I was there on business. I took him with me. And literally the night before we were supposed to fly back to the East Coast, there was an earthquake in Russia. And that generation watches the news compulsively. And there was concern there were tsunami warnings in San Francisco. Now, me with my brain, I was like, I'm not an alarmist. I'm like, we're a mile inland. I'm not worrying about this. Yep. My mother was full monkey tilt. You got to get on a plane, you need to fly back sooner. And so my son kept saying, I don't understand what the big deal is. I think this is a generational thing. Like, you know, you hear news or concern and you're like, okay, I process that, but not the same degree of the older generation. And I mean, I could lump myself in there and say, well, I'm middle age, so I'm an older generation than my child. But it's interesting to be kind of in this sandwich generation and see the way that my kids process information versus my parents' generation's age. That's what I find interesting. I'm in a unique perspective right now at this stage in my life. Yeah. And here's the thing too. The reason the older generation takes everything so much more intensely and deeper is because they actually weren't exposed to so much consistently as they are now. So their brain developed in a time in which if they were to receive a tsunami warning, it actually was a very serious concern and it was close to them. It wasn't across the world necessarily because news didn't travel. So you know what I mean? And it was a newspaper or whatever. So now their brain is having a really hard time understanding that so much of this isn't even so, so, so dangerous. And a lot of it is clickbait. A lot of it is sued. It's not even, you know, truth is muddy these days. And so they don't get it. And it's the same, like my older relatives are constantly watching the news, completely obsessed and addicted. I don't ever. Yeah. I learned that during the pandemic. As someone who was a poli sci major the first time around, I tell everyone since 2020, I was like, I just had to deobligate myself because, you know, it's the news is designed, as you know, So it's designed to, it's like the doom scroll. It's designed to be clickbait. It's designed to be focused on negativity. But it never used to be. And so my relatives say to me, well, how do you get your news? How do you know what's happening? And my answer is always, if I need to know, I will. You know, like it'll come up. It'll come across my desk. And so that's, those are some of the ways that you can protect yourself, right? But, you know, it's definitely fascinating. And because of this phenomenon, our children are now growing up to actually like nothing actually dangerous even affects them either. So that's what I talk about when I say that we're numbing ourselves. There's a very quick decline into like what actually their brain can't really understand like what does matter? How do we really know there's a danger? Everything is so, you know, just discounted these days. So what is really happening? And so because of that, we're actually living in a heightened level of stress and cortisol because it's not that we're always walking around nervous or scared, but it's because our brain, our nervous system is elevated always because we're always figuring out these, like trying to figure out what's our level of danger. What do we have to decipher? We don't trust our sources. We don't know what to believe. And that's destabilizing and also what's draining so much of our attention. Yeah, it's so interesting the way that things have kind of evolved. And before we started recording, I was talking about multitasking. I think women are conditioned to believe that our brains are hardwired to be able to multitask, whereas men tend to be solely focused on one thing at a time. And I used to believe that multitasking was important. I used to believe that multitasking was a healthy way for my brain to try to process a lot of information at once. Like, oh, I've got five things I need to be working or thinking about, or I've got five patients I need to be focused on. And what, you know, which one do I need to prioritize? But you talk about how multitasking actually undercuts our ability to focus. Let's talk about this because I would imagine there are a lot of women listening that have been conditioned to believe that multitasking is normal and multitasking is helpful and multitasking is the way that we should be, you know, kind of organizing our lives. And yet you bring up some really good arguments that it's actually profoundly detrimental to our ability to focus. Yeah. And we, we hold multitasking as a badge of honor and that's sort of what we do. Well, the reality is though in doing it, we aren't really doing anything as well as we could be. And not only that, it's really eroding our energy because the human brain isn't meant to task switch constantly. And when we switch from task to task and go back and forth and back and forth, we're actually decreasing our productivity exponentially with any one specific task. that there also scientifically is this phenomenon where when you task switch, your brain actually is still stuck in what you were doing for about 15 to 20 minutes. So you're not even actually really switching over. You're just kind of trying to wade through all the mud. And I know there's so many of you, by the way, again, I have three little kids. Like I of a career, I get it. There's so many tasks. It's just impossible to even know what to do first. But in doing everything at one time or even two or three things at one time, we exhaust ourselves and our brain just cannot keep up. And that's why so many of us are experiencing such a deep level of burnout and anxiety too, because it's not healthy. And the more we do it, the worse we are at doing anything. Yeah, it's interesting. I think that, you know, books come about, I always say, you know, when you're ready for the message, the book kind of avails itself or the teacher avails itself. And I've been really working the past probably year, year and a half to not be in multitasking mode because it is, I don't do anything well when I'm distracted. That's number one. And if you're multitasking, you're effectively distracted from focusing on one thing at a time. But the other thing that I've started doing is, and maybe this is just quirky, I have sticky notes. And I'm like, if something's stuck in my brain on repeat, I just write it down and put it aside. And I'm like, I need to focus on this right now. And this other thing that was pestering me, I'm like, I just put it on a sticky note, and I'll come back to it later. So my husband laughs, sometimes there are sticky notes all over my office. Like, it just gives you a sense of how distracted we are as individuals. It's so easy. And yet understanding that this constant state of interruption overall is making us wildly less productive. I think that as a clinician, one of the things I was always taught was men have an inability to focus on more than one thing at a time. And that's in their benefit. Yes. Cause they're the hunters. They're the hunters. And And here's the thing too, is you speak about sticky notes. Our working memory is essentially like a mental notepad that holds all of our sort of temporary information. It actually is very small. So it really does function similarly to a sticky note that you mentioned. And juggling multiple tasks like we women often do overloads that note. You can only hold so much in there. So you forget steps. You start to miss details, nuances. You make more mistakes. You drop the ball on things. And if you don't, you pride yourself in being super type A. But what does that mean? It means you're actually completely depleted, right? Because your emotional, mental, and physical labor of caretaking, plus whatever else you're doing, has limited reserves. And that's really important to understand. Now, additionally, when you're multitasking, every single time you task switch, which inevitably we do in multitasking, it kind of creates like a really small but spike like it's there in cortisol and our adrenaline, which is our stress hormones that sort of cloud our judgment and make it harder to think and remember things and to stay calm. So over time, this is why our nervous system is so dysregulated because we're essentially in this like low level of fight or flight all the time. And that's just not how human beings are meant to function. It's completely rewiring our attention and our nervous system in the wrong direction. And so the more the other piece to this and you mentioned kind of the novelty bias and all of that. So the more you task switch, the more your brain actually wants to seek, because it's always going to want to seek novelty, right? And it's going to get harder and harder to hold focus. You're essentially training yourself to crave distraction, which I talk about a lot in the book. And so single tasking and actually being present in any one moment gets that much harder and more uncomfortable. and the more discomfort, the more you're going to want to distract yourself and you're going to grab your phone or whatever it is because you cannot sit with those uncomfortable feelings. And that's the core issue and why I think we are in a deep attention crisis. Being uncomfortable, that is at the basis for a lot in our lives. And I would agree with you. I think the knee jerk reaction for nearly everyone, you go to a doctor's appointment, you're sitting waiting for a service. And I look at people and like everyone is on their phones. Or when I'm, you know, having a conversation with one of my kids, and they'll talk about the fact that they feel so compelled to be connected all the time. And, you know, your point about emotional discomfort or uncomfortable feelings. Do you feel like that is actually magnified now that we're so disconnected from one another? We're connected with a piece of technology, but we ourselves are disconnected from ourselves and others Yes Yes We completely disconnected And you know the problem also with and it not just technology We I talk about this in the book like I don want to demonize technology but the technology companies have figured out how to hijack our attention and use it to their advantage And it's a real issue because we've completely given up our power, right? And we don't even really kind of understand it. And the problem with being so overly connected on tech and all these other devices and also the things we say yes to because we want to avoid the discomfort of sitting with any uncomfortable feelings or our partnerships or our kids issues. So we say yes to the board meeting and the this meeting and this committee because it's easier to do that and say we're super busy than to actually deal with the tough stuff. So there's also something to think about. But going back to like the connectivity on devices, they're very surface connections. So we have a lot of people who are, you know, texting, DMing, WhatsAppping, like all the things, but we're the loneliest generation ever. Why? Because we don't go deeper. We don't know how. We've lost that skillset and the muscle to do that. And that's why sometimes, and we've all done it, where you've had those brief moments of connection with someone else or yourself where you actually do go deep and you're maybe vulnerable for a minute and it feels uncomfortable, but strangely after you feel so satisfied and you're like, wait, what was that feeling? Was that just crazy chemistry or like, what even was that? It's just human. It's what we really need, but we've lost touch with. What is the influence of our lifestyle choices in terms of looking at healthy neurotransmitters, looking at the role of the gut brain connection, how does foods, can they contribute to ability or ability to focus or be in able, unable to be able to focus? What's the influence of lifestyle? What does the research suggest? Oh, I talk about nutrition actually in the book, and I'm not a clinical nutritionist, but I do have a bit of a background in nutrition, but I think when people talk about mental health and emotional health, they forget that the fundamentals. And I remember speaking to a psychiatrist friend of mine and he was saying, you know, it's unbelievable how many people walk in with significant disturbances. And that's not to discount like legitimate neurochemical issues and all of the things, but they've done every hack in the world. They're living very surface healthy lives, but yet they've completely neglected the nutrition, the sleep and the hydration piece. And so you can do all the things. You can go to every silent retreat and meditate and do the red light and the saunas and the whatever. But if you don't have those basic foundational human needs intact, you'll try the rest of your life to be well and you just won't. so i think nutrition is huge um how also the missing piece is what we feed our body tells our brain we're worth it and when we tell ourselves when we make choices that either require us spending a lot on feeding our body healthy food even if that means we have to budget differently with trips but we feed ourselves well or whatever it is we literally are telling our brain that we matter enough. And that sends this glorious neurochemical loop that reinforces how awesome we think we are. And all of a sudden it's like, whoa, this feels really good. Right? So making those choices is really critical and sleep is very important. We've really walked away from sort of that element, especially with devices in our bedrooms and all the things that we have access to that's easy to do. And it's actually overloading us and not and taking us farther away from what we need to focus and actually have great relationships and be well and thrive. Well, it's interesting on the podcast, we talk a lot about the value of lifestyle. And I think about Chris Palmer's book, brain energy, you know, this is a Harvard psychiatrist who, you know, really focuses in on the importance of nutrition being a critical piece to mental health. And I think in many ways, something as simple as hydration, I think that, you know, my background until nine years ago was in clinical cardiology. And my patients walked around being completely and utterly dehydrated 24-7, not realizing that contributed to poor sleep and fatigue issues and probably some, you know, less than stellar choices when they're either shopping or at home. And I think that these foundational elements, whether it's hydration, whether it's sleep, whether it's stress management, how frequently you eat. So even looping in intermittent fasting or time restricted eating has a lot to do with that bidirectional relationship between the gut microbiome and our brains and whether or not we're making healthy neurotransmitters, whether or not we feel like we can focus adequately. And so, you know, it's one of these conversations that I think is so important because there are still people out there that believe that food is irrelevant. The food has no impact on how we perceive the world or how we perceive ourselves. And yet I think I look at it very much as this foundational element. Absolutely. And certain foods, whatever we consume does make imprints an impact. And our brain, being the muscle that it is, needs a plethora of nutrients to feel good and function optimally. So what we eat matters. Now, does that mean, and I'll talk about the flip side, there's a whole culture, a nutrition culture and wellness culture that's extremely restrictive and rigid and regimented. That's not what I'm advocating either, right? So there's a medium, but there's a huge importance that needs to be spotlit on nutrition and what we consume. And the hydration piece is huge, huge. What are your thoughts on alcohol? What does the research suggest? I mean, listen, alcohol, I write about it a little bit in the book. I mean, it's definitely not ideal. It's not great. It can be a social tool occasionally in a lot of moderation, but I've seen so many people be much happier and very successful with their attention, focus, and productivity and relationships when they abstain. And again, you know, having a glass with dinner or, you know, at a party is one thing. But when people consume alcohol regularly, it definitely does have a detrimental effect scientifically. It's interesting how that is. Yeah. It's interesting how that has shifted, you know, over the last probably two to three years, because when I was, you know, years ago, when I was a new nurse practitioner, I used to encourage my patients, especially my cardiovascular patients, have a glass of red wine every night. We know that it's beneficial. and you sometimes realize, you know, life will come full circle. What's interesting is, you know, most of the women that listen to this podcast are in perimenopause or menopause and our relationships with alcohol will probably change at this time in our lives because we know it can be so sleep disruptive. But I think for many people, they may not realize that alcohol is impacting their ability to focus and their ability to process information effectively. And so sometimes that may be a side effect that they later learn like, oh, I didn't realize that that was contributing to why I was having trouble focusing. Yeah, exactly. And it's interesting because now with all of these tracking tools, which I'm not actually a huge fan of because I think most people can rely on them much too much, but I do find things like, you know, the aura ring to be interesting for that particular reason is simply just to look at sleep. And even when I just have a drink with dinner or at an event or whatever, and I have a very low key relationship, like I'm talking like once in a blue moon, whatever my ring knows it's wild. And I've made no other shifts. Everything else remains the same. And it just knows my, you know, resting heart rate's different at night. My sleep is different. And my scores are totally different when I've consumed alcohol. And so, you know, you look at the risk benefit analysis, there's other ways to get cardiovascular benefit from other things. And, you know, you just have to really think about, you know, what are the pros and cons of this? And it's just not necessarily worth it. Yeah, I think Oura Ring metrics can be highly insightful. And I agree with you that tools are tools, but a lot of the tech that we wear to track sleep and other metrics, you know, I'll have patients that will say, oh, you know, I woke up in the morning and my HRV is terrible and my heart rate variability is terrible. and I'm allowing that to cloud the way that I look at the rest of my day. And I would say, if you wake up and you feel great and your Oura Ring metrics aren't stellar, like don't let that ruin your day. I think that you have to take things in context in order to allow them to be valuable resources to you long-term. And I always say it's the long-term effects. It's not one or two bad days. It's what are the long-term, what's the long-term data that you're looking at that's confirming choices that you're making or is it reinforcing choices that you need to change or make? And I tell everyone this too. I always am an advocate of taking time off of something to assess its value in your life. And that can be anything. Even when we take a trip or something away from a loved one, right? Like it feels great to come back and you know that they're meant to be in your life. You know what I mean? It's just that. So anything. So if you have a relationship with alcohol that you're questioning or whatever it is, take a week or two off and see how you feel. Sometimes it takes a bit more to kind of wean off, but you know, and, and most of the time, if not all of the time, everyone says it's just such a huge difference. It feels so much better. I'm so clear. I have clarity. I have better sleep, better relationships, better everything. So try it, see how it goes. There's a lot of great tools that you talk about in the book that can help with focus and attention. And one of my favorites is mentioned the Pomodoro technique. Let's talk about this because this is something that I had to utilize as I was writing my second book, because otherwise I would spend far too much time focusing in on something and then ending up not having as much productivity. Right. Well, so the Pomodoro technique is, it's sort of this like short start time management tool that boosts focus. You choose a task that you want to work on. You set a timer for about 20 to 25 minutes. You work with full focus, no distractions, no task switching for a short, short amount of time. When the timer rings, you take a short break and that does not mean sifting through content. It means actually redirecting your attention towards something sort of not like not regarding content and consumption. And then after, you know, and then you go back to the focus and you slowly take longer breaks after about three to four chunks of time. And it works because they're short, they're defined time blocks, it makes starting easier, it's less intimidating than setting these big goals. It's also why I always recommend that people simplify bigger goals into much, much smaller, doable, digestible tasks. And over time, it trains your brain to sustain focus for longer chunks. If you can't do 25 minutes, gift yourself grace and just do it for a shorter amount of time and start small and then build up to it. If you're in your forties and fifties and feel like your body suddenly stop responding the way that it used to, you're not imagining it. Bloating, waking, sleep disruptions, food sensitivities, and unpredictable energy are incredibly common in perimenopause and menopause. But here's what most people aren't told. Your gut microbiome is changing right alongside your hormones. And those changes can influence everything from how you store fat to how well you sleep to how your body processes estrogen. That's exactly why I wrote my new book, The Menopause Gut. In this book, I walk you through the science of how the microbiome, metabolism, immune system, and hormones are all connected during midlife. But most importantly, I give you practical, realistic strategies you can start using right away without extreme diets or complicated protocols. You'll learn why the same diet that worked in your thirties may not work now, how your gut influences hot flashes, mood, and weight, the truth about fiber, protein, and blood sugar in midlife, and the daily habits that help your body feel safe, stable, and resilient Again if you tired of blaming yourself for changes that are actually biological this book will help you understand what really happening and what to do about it You can pre The Menopause Gut wherever books are sold And when you do be sure to check out the special pre-order bonuses I've put together for you. Again, you can go to www.cynthiatherlo.com. You'll click on the banner. It'll take you to multiple options for where you can order the menopause gut in presale. I'm excited to tell you about a foundational health supplement that is backed by some incredible science. This marine super molecule is called astra xanthan, and it's supported by more than 4,000 scientific papers, 100 human studies, extensive safety handling, and NIH validated efficacy in a gold standard longevity model. Extensive research over the past 25 years has shown that astaxanthin perfectly spans and stabilizes cell membranes, protects lipids, proteins, and DNA from oxidative and inflammatory damage. This promotes cellular health, fights the hallmarks of aging, and provides lasting whole body health benefits for your joints, muscles, heart, brain, gut, skin, and eyes. It also boosts healthy energy, endurance, and recovery. I'm thrilled to partner with AX3 Life and share their bio-pure astaxanthin with you. Compare with ordinary astaxanthin, AX3 has superior bioavailability, purity, and environmental sustainability and is better absorbed, three times better actually, and has been shown to be highly effective in the NIH interventions testing program, the world's most rigorous mammalian lifespan study. I'm really impressed with AX3 and I'm super excited to share this particular podcast interview with AX3's co-founder and CEO. AX3 has also generously offered a 20% discount on your very first order when you visit ax3.life and use promo code Cynthia20 at checkout. Again, that's ax3.life and use code Cynthia20 at checkout. My family and I are actually taking astaxanthin to see if we can drop our LP little a. Stay tuned. What are some of your other strategies that you like to use with your patients and clients to help them with focus? I mean, I write about a lot of it in the book. I didn't want to overwhelm people with hacks. I think people have too much already that they can't get to. I think one of the most important things about sort of retraining yourself for focus and owning your attention is to realize what's eroding your attention. And so I don't necessarily just overwhelm people with a million different tools. really what I start with in the book is let's figure out what is draining you. What's, where is this coming from and what are you actually trying to avoid? Right. And how do we sort of pinpoint that and then come up with what lights you up? What can you sustain focus with and how do we connect the two and create a system for yourself that, that matters, that's relevant and that you can actually keep up. That's not just like, oh, I did this for a week because I read a book and now I'm over it and I'm back to where I was, you know? And so I think, you know, really filtering through what is draining to you is a tool that people don't talk about. But we have to assess that first in order to do the work it takes to regain art focus and attention. What would be a good way if someone's listening, other than obviously purchasing your book, if they're trying to determine what is draining their energy, to really think about it from a very thoughtful perspective? What are some of the first things you will recommend to a client or patient? So, you know, listen, when you look at, I encourage everyone to look at their morning and just start small. You don't have to look at a full day. Look at your morning and how do you start your morning? If you're starting your morning and literally from the minute your eyes open, go through a timeline and then tune into how you feel during that timeline. Now, people don't often make these associations, but when they dissect their time and their days and their attention into these short chunks, things become a lot more visible to them, right? So let's say, you know, a client or someone wakes up and grabs their phone. But you have to be honest because they're not grabbing their phone to look at the time, which they often initially say, oh, I'm just looking at the time. They're actually not even looking at the time app. They glaze over the time, but they go straight to their Instagram or their messages or their emails or whatever it is. And so they start to kind of realize that, which most people do, unfortunately. And then they realize that those days in which they do that, they're a little unsettled and they're not sure why, because they're doing other things well and they're sort of high functioning, but it's getting buried underneath and they're exhausted and burnt out and they're not sure why. Okay. Okay, so then, like I said, you sort of edit and weed out different things. So we know that looking at your phone first thing in the morning sets you up for distraction later in the day because of neurochemistry and how our brain operates. Our brain needs unstructured time in the morning to regulate its cortisol levels and our different chemical functions. So if they give themselves a 10 to 15 minute window to pick up their phone after that chunk, then they tune into how they feel and it's a completely different day. So when you start looking at these core habits and how to reframe them and where is that even coming from? Like, why do they actually pick up their phone? It's a habit, yes, but also what are they trying to avoid and what can they do instead that's healthier and better? Can they replace their phone with something else, a journal, a book, like something else that they grab and hold onto if they need to And eventually they can wean off of that. Do you know what I mean? So it does require insight and honesty. And that's really where we begin. I think that's really important because I always say like your morning is kind of what sets you up for success for the day. And I've even mentioned to my team, I don't even look at email before 10 a.m. Sometimes it's 11. My team knows that. I'm like, if you need to reach me, you can send me a text. But otherwise, I'm not in email because email for me personally is something that tends to get me focused in on tasks that I need to handle as opposed to getting up in the morning, walking our dogs, we go through, you know, I exercise, I mean, all these things that set us up for success, and that could look different for everyone who's listening. But I love your suggestion of not automatically getting on social media, not automatically jumping on your phone, because that's like the number one thing you guys like if there's anyone everyone says like, what's the secret? I mean, there is none really, I mean, but there are certain things we can do that you know, add up to a really thriving, full, vibrant life. And one of those key elements is not looking at a device first thing in the morning that primes our brain for distraction. And, you know, a lot of us have little kids, like you're, you know, Cynthia, in a different phase of life with teen kids. You have that space, you have that time to potentially go work out and do your thing and whatever. I am not advocating getting up at 4am to fit in a workout just so you can manage your four-year-old and your five-year-old when they wake up at the crack of dawn. You know what I mean? Please don't do that if that's not part of how you function. But you can wake up and just go about your day, even if it's a full one, even when you have little kids and logistics are overwhelming and it's a busy morning. But I guarantee your morning will feel less busy if you don't first look at your phone because you are flooding your brain with content and information that already starts your day off full. And that's not the slow drip that our brain needs to settle into the day. Even when you have a million things coming at you, and for me, three kids, a dog, a husband, it's like everything happening all at once and all require me, my attention, my time, my emotional and mental energy. My mornings feel so less overwhelming when I don't look at my phone first. Such a simple, such a simple thing. I think for many people probably requires some practice, but definitely it's going to feel so uncomfortable at first. Yes. But you know, being uncomfortable is not a bad thing. I think that's nice to say to my kids, get comfortable being uncomfortable. And that can apply to so many things, but it applies to this as well. It's a change in habits, but one that yields a great deal of benefits. I'd love to round out the conversation today, talking about the value of curiosity, which is something that I think is really important. And certainly in the context of this conversation, one that I think is really vital. Yes. I mean, curiosity is one of the most powerful drivers of learning and problem solving and resilience and health really. And we've lost touch with that because we fill everything with something, right? And so, I mean, curiosity is such a beautiful thing. When you're curious, your brain releases dopamine. So we don't need to get it from all of these quick hits to the pleasure chemical that I've been talking about. So curiosity sort of makes hard work feel like less of a chore and more of just joy and play and exploration, which we've completely lost touch with as adults. We see kids doing it all the time. And for some reason, as they get older, they lose that, right? And also, curiosity expands what you notice in the world and awe is a critical part of feeling less anxious. And so we've seen huge effects on curiosity, on mental health and all of the things that sort of curiosity can lead to fresh insight. When you're not curious, you sort of tend to focus on what's familiar or comfortable because that's just what we do as humans. That's sort of our default. But when you're curious, it almost like opens these big doors and windows to your world and you start to create connections that you otherwise would have missed. There's just so much benefit to curiosity and it's a huge tool for attention. So it doesn't just lead to new things. It changes who you are when you're in the process of being human and learning. And it just makes people much more engaged. It's just a huge undercursor of attention and also less afraid, less afraid of the world, less lonely, less unknown, better equipped to navigate sort of the complexity of things. So it's a wonderful, very critical piece that we're really missing in today's culture. Yeah, I think the degree of cognitive dissonance that we see sometimes I find kind of deeply troubling. And I say that as a human being that I was kind of raised with the expectation that I would be a lifelong learner. And so when someone says to me, oh, I only have to go to school for so many years, I don't need to ever learn anymore. I'm like, no, no. I mean, we should always have a desire to understand more about the world, about a subject, about anything, because I think that's what makes us interesting as human beings is that we are designed to be evolving, shifting, changing throughout our lifetime. And that's what keeps our brain functioning in a healthful way. My son just started middle school and people always say to me, oh, that's what keeps our that's great. He'll be at a school where he's learning so much and it's academically rigorous. And my answer is always actually not that at all. It's that I hope that his teachers cultivate curiosity and continue to feed his curiosity. I don't place much value in outcomes at all. I want my children and us to remain curious about the world. And that's really, for me, one of the most important things about having a good education is the curiosity piece that we've lost touch with. Absolutely. Well, I so enjoyed this conversation. Please let listeners know how to connect with you on social media, how to purchase your book called Finding Focus, which I have right here. Yes. Yes. Finding Focus, Own Your Attention in the Age of Distraction. Anywhere books are sold, Amazon or elsewhere. My website is drzelana.com, D-R-Z-E-L-A-N-A.com. I have loads of free resources on there as well and how to purchase my book, Anywhere Books Are Sold. And then on social media, I have a beautiful community on Instagram, dr.zelana. So please, yeah, check in. I talk a lot about sort of the reality of what it means to be human and put words to, you know, experiences that we have that we often can't really name. And I'm very grateful for that. Thank you again for your time. Yes. Thank you. If you love this podcast episode, please leave a rating and review, subscribe and tell a friend.