Being a Perfectionist Is Not a Bad Thing

6 min

•Feb 3, 20264 months ago

Summary

Dr. Laura distinguishes between healthy perfectionism—taking pride in doing work well—and pathological perfectionism, which manifests as self-criticism, procrastination, and anxiety. She argues that healthy perfectionism is a valuable trait for professionals and creatives, while pathological perfectionism is counterproductive and should be managed.

Insights

Healthy perfectionism drives quality work and personal pride; pathological perfectionism creates stress, procrastination, and prevents starting projects due to fear of imperfection
The key differentiator is self-acceptance: healthy perfectionists measure success against their own best ability, while pathological perfectionists believe they're never good enough
Perfectionism becomes problematic when it prevents action or hobby exploration; people should try things and let interests develop naturally rather than waiting for perfect conditions
Mental clarity and focus are essential for executing perfectionist standards; distracting thoughts during execution undermine performance and increase frustration
Perfectionism should be contextual and proportional; applying pathological perfectionism to casual activities (like pool) creates unnecessary suffering

Trends

Mental health awareness in professional development: distinguishing between productive and destructive personality traitsProductivity culture shift: moving away from 'good enough' mentality toward quality-first approaches in knowledge workSelf-compassion in high-performance contexts: managing perfectionist tendencies through mindfulness and realistic expectationsExploration-based skill development: encouraging trial-and-error learning over waiting for perfect conditions to startPerformance psychology: understanding how mental state and focus directly impact execution quality

Topics

Perfectionism in professional workPathological perfectionism and mental healthSelf-criticism and performance anxietyProcrastination and perfectionismQuality standards in creative workPersonal excellence and pride in workMental focus and executionHobby exploration and skill developmentStress and anxiety managementSelf-acceptance and realistic expectations

Companies

Golden Crest Metals

Precious metals investment firm offering gold and silver portfolio services for retirement planning

People

Leonardo da Vinci

Referenced as example of someone with higher perfectionist standards than average person

Quotes

"There's a difference between being a perfectionist which means you have great pride and intent that if you do something you're gonna put everything you have into it and do it right"

Dr. Laura

"The best I can do is by definition perfection from me. From somebody from Leonardo da Vinci there'd be a whole other level. The bar would be higher but I'm not Leonardo da Vinci I'm me."

Dr. Laura

"You cannot have another thought. So I'm learning how to control the getting mad at myself. That's the pathological perfectionism."

Dr. Laura

"Pathologically you think you're never good enough. You're constantly stressed, depressed and anxious. You can't be productive because you're waiting for everything to be just right before you start"

Dr. Laura

"If I'm going to do this I'm going to do it right. To the best of my ability and knowledge."

Dr. Laura

Full Transcript

Thank you for listening to my morning monologue brought to you by Golden Crest Metals helping everyday investors protect what they've worked so hard to build by adding gold and silver to retirement portfolios. Learn more at goldencrestmetals.com.com. Remember you can hear my radio program daily on Sirius XM Triumph and connect with me 24-7 at dr.ora.com. I'm gonna talk about perfectionism because I'm probably gonna give you a spin on this that you're not used to because perfectionism is one of those words that that's a bad thing. That's a bad thing to be perfectionist. That's not true. I am a perfectionist. There's a difference though between being a perfectionist which means you have great pride and intent that if you do something you're gonna put everything you have into it and do it right and until it's right you're gonna work on it till it's right. I've been places and done things where people have said that's good enough or nobody's gonna notice that and I look at them like they're a squashed bug. I go well that may be good enough and nobody will notice it for you but I will know so no I have to do this again. That takes a long time. You just start a perfectionist and I go you're right but there's a difference between being a perfectionist and being a pathological perfectionist. I have a little tinges here and there of pathological perfectionism and I'll tell you where those are but for the most part I'm a very healthy proud card carrying perfectionist and I think you all ought to be. That's a different spin because that word is usually it's a bad thing. No it's an absolutely great thing. What's a pathological perfectionist? That's somebody who says I'm never good enough. I suck. Now I've been hard to say that when I'm shooting pool and I miss a shot I think I ought to have gotten and then I have to remind myself that I'm using a long stick with a rounded tip to hit one round ball into another round ball into a pocket. I mean that's even a stupid idea. Let's make a game where you have a long stick with a round tip and we're going to hit a ball into another ball and put it into a little pocket and we have six of those pockets on a table and table's pretty big. What? Nobody's gonna want to do that. I have a love-hate relationship with pool and I had to struggle for many years with pathological perfectionism because I thought I'm smart. I know what to do. I should be able to do it right every time. That's pathologically stupid. So I had to really work against that. So now I remind myself my alignment probably wasn't right. I didn't I like to call it serve the ball from tennis. I didn't serve the ball nice and smoothly. My head was in the wrong place because when you actually go to hit the ball actually has to be nothing else in the universe in your brain. And I was shooting pool in front of somebody the other day and it was the end shot and it was a shot I've done a million times. It's a hard shot but I'm good at it. It just happens to be a shot I'm good at. And as I was putting the stick forward I was saying in my mind I'm gonna impress the crap out of him right now and I missed. And I stood up and went what? What? You cannot have another thought. So I'm learning how to control the getting mad at myself. That's the pathological perfectionism. The good perfectionism is how hard I work on this program. When I do the jewelry, when I write a book, when I do anything, create anything, it has to be my level of absolute perfect which is the best I can do. Best I can do is by definition perfection from me. From somebody from Leonardo da Vinci there'd be a whole other level. The bar would be higher but I'm not Leonardo da Vinci I'm me. So the best I can do. Now pathologically you think you're never good enough. You're constantly stressed, depressed and anxious. You can't be productive because you're waiting for everything to be just right before you start so you're procrastinating because you're afraid it's not going to be perfect. You overlook all the positives. You're everything has to be perfect before you decide what to major in its school, a hobby to have. I've had people I don't know what hobby to have. It's like you try a few things. Most of it will drop by the wayside and something will let you fire. No, it has to be perfect to start. That's pathological. I don't have any of that. But I'm a proud perfectionist and I think whatever you do in life that's the attitude you should have. If I'm going to do this I'm going to do it right. To the best of my ability and knowledge. Line number 1-800-375-2872. Check out my social media on Facebook and Instagram. I post stories, photos and videos seven days a week and feature some of what you sent me to. There's always something interesting going on there. You can find me at facebook.com slash dr. Laura and instagram.com slash dr. Laura program.