1KHO 688: How to Clean Up Your Mental Mess | Dr. Caroline Leaf, Switch On Your Brain

Oh, it's a beautiful world Ain't nothing on the screen that's ever gonna be this view Oh, it's a beautiful world And I just wanna share with you It's a beautiful world Such a beautiful world Oh Hello friends, thank you for hitting the play button today today I'm talking with Dr. Caroline Leaf and if you've ever thought why do I keep reacting like this or I know there's a better way But I can't seem to change this episode is going to help We get into the science of thoughts and patterns and Dr. Leaf gives practical tools for those high pressure moments Especially as a parent when everything in you wants to snaps viral or people please A quick favor before we jump in hit follow on the show So you don't miss new episodes and if you've never left a review I would love one it helps more families find this message I'm the worst at asking for anything so thank you for your grace and for the opportunity to grow in this area This five star review came in earlier this week from samantha It's titled a friend to walk with me through motherhood Ginny's voice is as familiar as a friend's in our kitchen It has become part of my motherhood to have her podcast playing in the background of my cooking and dishwashing To encourage deep parts of my motherhood with her peppy voice and uplifting messages I've learned so much from her in the last several years and i'm crazy grateful to have this podcast as a tool for our parenting It gives us great things to talk over and I feel okay with our little ones running around Hearing it as well She has inspired me to keep learning reading and pushing myself toward growth Even as a homeschool mom with four young children and little extra time Thank you, ginny for being a part of our family rhythm and helping us to value the outdoors and our creator even more Thank you, samantha and hello to your four wonderful children One last thing our 1000 hours outside app is on sale through the end of the month If you want to build momentum without living on your phone you'll find the link in the show notes It is a top ranked ios and android app and it's on sale for only 25 dollars for an entire year Or just over two dollars a month. Okay, let's get into it with dr. caroline leaf March is when homeschool families start looking ahead You can almost see the finish line spring goals end of your milestones Maybe even testing around the corner and this is such an important time to reinforce key skills and build confidence before wrapping up the year If you are thinking about assessments, whether required by your state or simply the benchmarks you've set for your family It's helpful to have a tool that makes review simple and clear. That's where ixl can really shine ixl is an award-winning online learning platform that fits seamlessly into homeschooling It offers interactive practice across mathling which are at science and social studies from pre-k through 12th grade A personalized learning for each child keeps them engaged and gives parents clear insight into progress What stands out this time of year is a real-time feedback and progress tracking kids get instant explanations when they miss something And parents can see exactly where growth is happening and where a little reinforcement might help It takes the guesswork out of finishing strong make an impact on your child's learning get ixl now and 1000 hours outside listeners Can get an exclusive 20 off ixl membership when they sign up today at ixl.com Slash 1000 hours visit ixl.com slash 1000 hours to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price Welcome to the 1000 hours outside podcast My name is gd urge and the founder of 1000 hours outside and i have an incredibly accomplished guest today Dr. Caroline leaf welcome. Thank you. I'm so excited to be with you. Love the title get your kids outside for 1000 hours I assume that's what you were meaning That's what we're trying to do in a year and it solves a lot of problems It's all a lot of problems for the kids It solves a lot of problems for the parents and it solves a lot of problems for humans in general who are not kids or parents That's just want to be getting outdoors. So I have read one of your books. That's been around for a while It's called switch on your brain the key to peak happiness thinking and health Wonderful book. It's got 8500 reviews on amazon But since you wrote this book you have had a lot more books come out Including an app and courses. So before we kick it off Can you let people know the different paths that they can go down the books that you have ones that would be really good for parents And including this course an app Absolutely. Well, thank you, genie. It's great to be with you Well, we're going to be talking about a lot of stuff related to mind mental health mind brain Managing emotions helping our kids. So this is something I've been in for 40 years And so I've got a 19 books 24 languages and we have courses as well and we have an app The app is a great place for a parent to start called the neuropsycho It's available on our teams google and we have a web version And that's because that takes the for the scientific formula that we'll be talking about today of how you can actually manage your mind In whether it's big stuff small stuff day to day moments, etc And so that that called the neuropsycho app And there's a book that goes with that or cleaning up your mental mess and we can obviously send you all these links So and this is this book came out fairly recently as well Then I released one a couple years back on how to help your child clean up their mental mess So in the app that I'm referring to that matches this book Okay, that not matches, but I mean they go You know, they've worked real well together And there's also a section in the app to how to help your child and then the details of that are in this book And this is literally a program for how we can help our kids these days manage emotions All the things that we are told like if they sad or depressed or angry that there's something wrong with them They're not actually it's being a normal child and how we can respond and manage and how you can teach your child This is from two through twelve How you can help your child from the ages of two through twelve Manage their mind and emotions and that kind of thing which is super important And then this came out just a couple of months ago helping a hurry There's a course that goes with it or the course also called help in a hurry So they get the course they get the book for through the course now this was written Literally from demand from all my patients and clients What do you do in that moment when you trigger? I mean just think as a parent As a human someone says something you trigger something happens you trigger in our information explosion age There's just so much coming at us all the time and we catch yourself getting worked up feeling under pressure feeling burnt out People pleasing saying things we don't want to say how can you manage that moment? And that's what this book is about the top 18 areas that people from surveys and research because I also do clinical trials and research and All that stuff as well And these are the top 18 areas that people get caught and how can I capture that in the moment and learn to stand back and respond instead of React so instead of people pleasing and thinking on no and resenting yourself because you people please and you shouldn't have or Getting stuck in that regret cycle if only I said this or didn't do that with my child whatever It's how do I manage those moments because if you don't manage those moments We all know they spiral out of control and the day of spiky rooms are mess This way you can catch the moment and then you can find your patterns and then you can rewire those habits And that's kind of a big big picture and then we can dive in into the details So any tools and this is so necessary because I find myself reacting a lot so All of it is very very helpful and especially for our kids as well You wrote in switch on your brain I see myself as a puzzle builder And in writing my books the pieces of the puzzles come together to tell a specific story of hope you've got four kids Can you talk about your path toward this field of work? um Well, I've been in 40 years now and began as an interest of the mind and the brain began when I was I mean I was young I used to teach my dolls and I actually got into med school I was doing I was going to do medicine and then they offered a degree which was a combination of medicine Neuroscience communication pathology a bunch of stuff So I moved over to that which I'm so pleased because I got such a great combination That enabled me to really understand How we show up in life? Where does that come from and how can we rewire that and what is the mind? What is the brain? What are thoughts? What are emotions? So I got a very deep understanding of that and it began honestly as a young child as a student at university And it hasn't stopped I still do clinical trials and research and all this stuff Yeah, yeah because all these books and it all is so applicable And I think it just becomes more applicable year over year because of how much technology there is So one of the things that really stuck out to me and switch on your brain And I'm sure that you talk about these in the newer books as well But you talk about how it takes a while for there to be Sustained change and you talk about the brain and how that starts to happen And I thought this was so interesting caroline. You said it's kind of like a tree So, you know, you start to like you talk about in helping a hurry There's these 18 situations and you know, you start to learn how to respond rather than react and over time These sort of I don't know what you call like pathways in your brain start to build up and become a little stronger But you say, you know, they start as bumps and then they turn into lollipops and then they're like mushrooms They're growing out like tree branches and they thicken So I thought first of all, what a cool parallel Yeah, like what a cool parallel. That's what what's happening in our brain. We can kind of relate to nature but also what a hope filled message that You know, you can't see that But when you start practicing doing something different, it's really strengthening your brain structure Absolutely. Absolutely. Well, you summarized that really well. You're a good student there, Janine Okay, so in a nutshell We have a mind brain and body So the mind and the brain are not the same thing But people could be really Excuse for thinking they are because we are indoctrinated with this idea that mind and brain are the same thing throughout media and conversations and social media And it's not the case the mind is separate from the brain and this is very significant because it's the mind that does the work Brain the brain doesn't think it doesn't generate it doesn't it only stores data It stores the backs but without any understanding because the brain doesn't think it's it's like a computer But the which is often the analogy used like the heart the computer But it's then often people think well the brain is a computer the mind is the software No, no, not at all the mind designed and built the computer the mind designed the software You choose your computer you choose the software you choose how to use your software In other words you or your mind you are 99% of who you are Your brain and your body simply do the bidding of the mind So your mind is the animator of your brain and your body it makes your brain and your body work And now this is very hopeful because it means that we are not victims of our biology We actually control and that's one of the statements in switch on your brain That's very popular is that we're not victims of our biology We are victors over and above our biology if we understand so mind and brain Our separate mind brain and body three separate things they work together Mind is 99% of who you are and it's your ability to think feel choose love Experience emotions and choose abstract thought into insight intuition all that great stuff Your brain and your body are only 1% of who you are and they are the they store the data So this conversation your mind is processing your mind is understanding your mind is taking our words and conversations and making sense Your mind is linking it to existing thoughts in your mind So what does the brain and body do or enables us to physically be here on this Present in this earthen and for us to communicate So all we need the physical brain and body for the mind to work through And so if we don't manage our mind we damage our brain and our body And this is why we have to clean up our mental maze switch on our brain with our mind Those concepts that I use in my books is those titles and things is because mind is doing the work So we need to focus on mind we live in a world that focuses tremendously on the physical So it's brain brain brain if something goes wrong upset chemical imbalance chemicals wrong genetics Your brain made you do it and that's not actually correct science It's incorrect never was proven and has been consistently disproved What has been consistently proved is that you with your mind run the show and these different parts of your mind So in a nutshell what we are able to do is rewire the brain and body And that's great because every experience we have like now this conversation Your mind takes it in makes it into like a little cloud of energy And then puts that into the brain and grows these trees that you are speaking about So our conversation is a cloud of energy think of the sky and clouds Of energy in the mind and the mind is all around you if you do this with your arms That's kind of what we call the biofield of the mind and it's through around and through you So you're you're right now everyone's building a little cloud of energy of this conversation Then your mind puts that into the brain and the body and in the brain it becomes like a tree So by a word for the roots your words are the roots because that's what the source and then The every person who's listening the trunk is how they're processing and the branches or how they perceive what we're saying And how they're going to use this information In that that's in the brain looks like a tree and then the information In the body looks like a little squashed up tree like a hedge So we literally build everything in three places and what this means is like memory is not in your brain only It is in your mind your brain and even in your body So even in your fingertips who are even building memory in your fingertips I know that sounds so stupid But it's through art and this is why our body reacts when you record traumatic events Or we get that choke that gut reaction because the memory is built from the mind into the brain and the body So it's a whole worldwide web inside of us So essentially what we are able to do is we can rewire those pathways that that network we can change the cloud We can change the the trees in the brain and we can change change the little hedges And that requires us consciously deliberately intentionally connecting with our deep wires Levels of our mind and that the what we call the non-conscious to make those changes So if you think of a toxic experience, maybe there's been an abuse in childhood So that experience would have wired in via the mind ugly rain ugly stormy cloud Ugly looking tree ugly looking hedges and then that plays out in our life as lack of identity breakdown in relationships behavioral issues problems at school However millions of different ways So until we deal with it it carries on getting stronger and stronger because whatever you think about the most grows Which goes to the other part of what you commented on and that's that the tree gets stronger and stronger The more that I think like that without changing it the bigger I make it so the more And entrenched that that pattern becomes and then the worst the behaviors become And that leads to down the line to mental health challenges addictions etc etc Now the hope is that we can actually stand back. We can observe how we're showing up And now that we know a little bit more you can say things like well, that's not who I am That's who I have become because of but let's find the because of which is the root of the tree Which is the root on the hedges which is the source of what made the rain cloud and we can retrace our steps So mean be doing this with our mind. We observe how we stand how we show up in the behaviors school Relationships and we then can take that track it back. You'll find a thought a thought is an experience The thought is the tree so the tree thought experience all the same thing We can then say oh the branches of the tree. That's how I'm showing up There's a reason how did I think tree trunk? How did I get you another word? Source root what happened? Ah that happened now. You can't change what happened. It's happened. It's passed But you can change how it plays out into your future. So we don't get stuck in the roots You don't get stuck wishing why did that happen? How am I going to make them change? That's their problem. You have you you've got to sort you out. So then at least you know why now you can rebuild You can reconstruct and then that reconstructing is okay. I need a new cloud I need to change that cloud need to clean up the storm. I need to clean up that tree I need to clean up the roots and the way we explain it to the kids and I have all this by the way in very simple images In this book that you can explain even to a two-year-old who art this book that particular book It explains it and that walks you through this process But you literally are going to the roots and you're putting plant food on and you're pruning the branches that analogy You imitate you fixing and you're fixing the hedges and that takes time and you rewire So you don't you can't just yank it out. I wish we could we can't what we have to do is Deconstruct reconstruct we have to rebuild so it's the same area the same network, but it's been redesigned Then you remember how you were but you function differently So that tree is no longer this big ugly thing big ugly hedges big ugly rain cloud They've now transformed to something beautiful, but inside that there's the little Bit of storm. There's a little bit of the old branch There's a little bit of the old root because that's now has no power But now we remember how we were and how we've changed and that we can learn to do that's what I've spent my life Life's work doing all the books all everything teach you how to do this in different ways Well all the different aspects of this thing even mixing Tell all it's so important I was talking to a friend just the other day and she said something like You know, I took all of these classes growing up, you know trigonometry and she's like I've not used any of it But these types of things this is what I really need You know, how do I deal with my relationships? How do I deal when there's an issue like all Like you talked about helping to hurry what what do I do when I'm anxious and when I'm stressed When I have these different triggers and you know, how do I learn how to respond rather than react and not be a people? Pleaser None of this is really included in the childhood package It's not Yes, and it's incredibly important. And so you have all these resources to help families to walk through it Okay, I have been waiting to say this womb bikes is the official 2026 bike partner of 1,000 hours outside and it just makes sense because here's what I know When kids fall in love with riding bikes something shifts They go from hesitant to flying down the sidewalk with total confidence and that confidence spills into everything else These bikes are lightweight thoughtfully designed and built so kids can actually succeed the brakes fit their hands The geometry fits their bodies They feel capable right away and in a world pulling our kids towards screens bikes pull them toward freedom So we are kicking off spring with a 100 hour ride challenge We'll release a special tracker to log 100 hours outside on bikes And yes at members we're working on bringing that right into the 1000 hours outside app It's going to be so fun If you've got younger riders the womb go bikes are perfect for beginners and come in six bright colors Including a brand new powder pink that just screams spring If you're working toward your 1000 hours outside this year a great bike makes it a whole lot easier Womb designs lightweight bikes built just for kids so they can ride farther and ride happier go to womb.com That's wom.com and use code outside 10 to check out for 10 off your bike purchase excluding the womb mile excluding the womb wow that's outside 10 for 10 off at womb.com March is when homeschool families start looking ahead you can almost see the finish line Spring goals end of year milestones may be even testing around the corner And this is such an important time to reinforce key skills and build confidence before wrapping up the year If you are thinking about assessments, whether required by your state or simply the benchmarks you've set for your family It's helpful to have a tool that makes review simple and clear. That's where ixl can really shine ixl is an award-winning online learning platform that fits seamlessly into homeschooling It offers interactive practice across math language art science and social studies from pre-k through 12th grade A personalized learning for each child keeps them engaged and gives parents clear insight into progress What stands out this time of year is a real-time feedback and progress tracking Kids get instant explanations when they miss something and parents can see exactly where growth is happening And where a little reinforcement might help it takes the guesswork out of finishing strong make an impact on your child's learning Get ixl now and 1 000 hours outside listeners can get an exclusive 20 off ixl membership When they sign up today at ixl.com slash 1 000 hours Visit ixl.com slash 1 000 hours to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price And if you get your kids outside then you have all of these Touchpoints to help them to understand better. Someone was talking the other day about replanting like you don't if you uproot like you're talking about like if you uproot But you don't plant anything else you don't come in with something positive Or you talk about the positive cloud It gets filled with weeds Exactly Well, it just gets worse. You know, that's the thing at jinny you you raise a really good point That if if something comes up and you don't deal with it It actually just goes back worse than before so it doesn't even you know, doesn't even you know You can't pull anything out. That's the thing we have this analogy that we can actually pull things out. You can't You if you if you're aware of something and you don't process it It goes back stronger than before you're even more driven, but now you're more frustrated because you know Hey, that's the cause or that is the direction of the cause But i'm still stuck because you have to process you have to go through the whole journey And that takes time and that's what the when I spoke about a formula in the beginning when I mentioned the word Neurocycle what I was desperate to do when I started my research and working with clients of Traumas but also people with learning disabilities people with um neurological issues like Parkinson's strokes heart attacks um It autism all that kind of thing working on both fronts the emotional traumas plus the neurological traumas that can happen head injuries and so on One of the things that I really saw and was desperate to research Which is why I did what I did was how do I help someone do this? What do you do? What are the steps? What step one two three? And and part of that is having the knowledge because unless you have knowledge you won't believe that it works So I always provide the empowerment and education But then what do you do and that's why I developed the neuropsycho formula Which is based on how information gets into the mind-brain body network And then how to you know, what is all the physiology and all that stuff and how do you reverse that? So I've done all the science and made and then the formula is what I've been testing over all these years in my clinical trials And that I write about and how you can apply it in different ways But the point that what I did show was that if you just become aware and a lot of interventions a lot of suggestions that people do You know breathe meditate All these these are all amazing But there are only one part of the process and so what we see is it's kind of like flying a plane If you prepare your plane if you just meditate breathe whatever that's great the brain plane's prepared, but now I'm not going anywhere I'm not moving forward. So now I've got to be do more. I've got to take off which has become aware What is the issue? How am I if showing up in my emotions my behaviors my body? Sensations my perspectives, but if I stop there I'm going to crash And this is what the research shows if you just create awareness, but you don't process it people get worse So now you need to process it's kind of like flying the plane which has three parts to it You need to reflect you need to gather data. Why where who what what else comes up? How can I see this differently that three step that I just did three different things reflect Bound storm and recheck or reconceptualize now. I'm doing something now. I'm taking charge now I'm rewiring Directing the rewiring and then I can land the plane. Okay. What action can I take to start making this happen in my life? And that's a little formula and when you apply that in the moment I can help in the hurry that formula applied in the moment helps you just to give control of the moment Then if you want to check if you find it's a pattern takes about seven days to identify pattern If there's a pattern in your life, that means it's a habit. It's a thought habit That takes about 63 days nine weeks to change a pattern. So as most people don't realize this so they realize Oh, okay. I know this is what I've got to change I understand whatever but they only go for one or two or three or four days or two weeks or three weeks Not enough time You have to go what we see from the science is for you to make a change in your life To help your child make a change you have to go the full Rewiring your brain changing those proteins changing those trees changing those hedges all that energy it takes time Takes little day not like micro little micro actions daily But over at least nine weeks and depending on the level of trauma you might need multiple cycles of nine weeks But this is something you can learn This is something you can teach your kids and we can even talk about a simple adaptation for your kids if you want Okay, I've said I have long answers. I apologize if you want me to stay short I'm sorry. I love long answers. I Basically all I want to do is sit here and listen And be fascinated. No, I love the long answers. I think it's just a really um, it's hopeful because Well, first of all, you would maybe think that nothing is happening But you say stuff is happening your actual brain is changing shape. So you say if you could zoom in Which what a cool thing if you could zoom in but what a great thing to teach your kids If you could zoom in closely to the connections the branches grow from you would see little things called spines These spines change shape like there's actual change that's happening in the brain from a bump at around seven days So one weekend you got a little bump Then at 14 days you got the lollipop shape the mushroom shape is 21 days And then you talk about you would see we repeat this 21 day cycle for up to three more times for it to become Automatized That's your 63 days. So this is in this book, but it's in the other books as well It's in switch on your brain this 21 day brain detox plan you wrote who needs this everyone You could just repeat it. So I like that what you think about the most will grow And then you talk about this word About these folds in the cortex of the brain and you end up getting these extra folds And then the brain can process faster and make decisions quicker I guess I've never really considered caroline the actual structure of the brain and it actually changing Absolutely, and you know the thing is that you do the changing the brain doesn't change itself So as soon as a person dies the brain just disintegrates within 20 seconds of the heart stopping the brain flat lines And immediately all the cells start disintegrating. So the thing that changes the brain is you your mind your aliveness And so that's the thing and so your brain is just responding. It's just this machine That is a very sophisticated one But it's just literally a machine that is designed to respond to your mind So when we don't use it correctly we create damage. So we're still going to grow So let's say that we stay in a toxic pattern and we stay in a regret cycle We stay in that people pleasing cycle. We stay getting worked up about everything You still are increasing verification. You're still increasing the start. You still changing structure But in the wrong direction So neuro plasticity, which is a term a lot of people have heard of at this time I did some of the earliest work back in the 1989-1991 in neuro plasticity before it was even an accepted word It only became an accepted word in the mid 90s But essentially what it means is that you can change your brain So that you will read and your listeners and viewers will read Neuro plasticity is the brain can change the brain changing itself the brain can't change itself You change the brain the brain does nothing except what you tell it to do So and so you are always you're alive and because you're alive you're taking in data and that data goes in your brain and body And you're changing your brain and your body, but the way you change it That's how you mean that's depending on how you're using your mind So your mind your mind as you the way you use your mind will determine The health of those trees and the health of the brain and body structure because remember the memories the trees and hedges Memories are in the brain and body not just in the brain Which is fantastic to know and this is why you're getting outside Do I mean in this book I actually have places multiple places where I say get your kids outside And I give examples so totally in line with what you're teaching on your podcast, which is amazing And how we don't have enough of that and how I even show stats and I'm sure you've spoken about this Of over time how in the 60s versus 70s versus now in the 2000 and to how Kids are outside less and less and less and less even in school. I mean how you used to have breaks where you went outside Now like, you know all that kind of stuff. So, um, yeah So this is something we control and those bumps lollipops. It's so cool Because I mean if you didn't zoom into the tree and the hedges What you would literally see is these neurons everyone seen what a neuron looks like Nerve brain nerve cells in the brain. They look like these Christmas trees with these long things and then these like little feet So essentially what happens is that those little bumps lollipops and Um and mushrooms that I speak about they occur on the dendrite, which is the top part So you think of a Christmas tree looks like a Christmas tree and your own looks like a Christmas tree with the Long bodies the axon which is the tree trunk and then it has roots and that's kind of what an old spell looks like So as you as you're listening to me now Essentially as my words are coming in you are growing little branches First in the cloud then in the brain then in the in the hedges and it all happens kind of simultaneously driven by the mind And the little branches that we're growing at first are on the if we looked on that's energy inside its proteins and is energy in the proteins and that combination of energy in the proteins There's a reaction and it pushes a little bump on the outside. I'm simplifying complex science And so as we as you're starting to live within the first today We just there's just a hint of a ripple If you go back and start reading and re listening within four days or so There's that has become a definite bump and then it becomes and so over time as we see over by the time it gets to 14 days It's a lollipop shape. So what I'm saying is the external physical change is a reflection of the mind work that we're doing But those changes could be in either direction good or bad And that's that we can control and if it's gone in the wrong direction The good news is that you can break that back down and rewire it That's the beautiful thing and that's what the neuropsychal That's what the doing that daily for on whatever five to 15 minutes five five minutes with kids three to five minutes with kids 15 to 20 minutes with adults That's how you actually change those bumps and spines and all that stuff in the right direction It's not that much time It's not that much time And you can do so much and if you really think about it going in different directions that these extra folds in the brain You're processing information faster. You're making decisions quicker. You're improving your memory. This is all in the positive direction Right. You can improve your thinking your emotions yourself regulation So then you can also see maybe what might happen on the opposite end of that And like I said before these are things that no one really learns about I've never learned about the physical changes I didn't know that it looked like a tree. I didn't know that there was extra folds Like I didn't know that in seven days There's actual physical change that you will be able to see if you could see it seven days That's not that much So you talk about writing you have different in all the books different strategies that you can use and you could use the app as well To start to make these changes and heading into 2026 in a new year This is a great thing to learn about especially if you're a parent you want to teach your kids Can you talk about multitasking? Because in a day and age where I think a lot of people are juggling a lot of different jobs I think life with kids is really busy One of the things that you talk about is multitasking You say one of the plagues of modern existence is multitasking Which leads to the future plagues of hurry sickness and obsessive time management What incredible phrases caroline hurry sickness and obsessive time management Absolutely. Well, you've hit so many important points there. So um quick aside if I may say then I'm going to dive in because This is such an important topic multitasking hurry sickness Obsessive time management. These are so critical because in trying to manage busyness. We've we've made these sort of adjustments So you do time management to get even more busy and it's actually quite toxic and we did there'll be always in a hurry Now the first thing to understand is that we are busy is natural to the human busy We designed for busy. We're very good at busy. It's when we do it Sort of wrong and then and what are the what I mean by wrong? it's when we try and I think that I've got to Cram I've got to manage every moment and I've got to cram so much in And then we start trying to do more than one thing at once which is multitasking and multitasking on a conscious level You have a conscious mind, which is awake when you're awake. It does not multitask It cannot multitask Now your conscious mind, which is awake when you're awake is your think it does your thinking feeling choosing it's your workhorse It's kind of messy. It's beautiful, but it is limited to one thing at a time one conversation at a time fast 2000 actions per second But if you and I had if you someone walked in your office someone walked in mine and then there would be four conversations going No one would know what the heck we were saying So that's what I mean your conscious mind like you and my me having this Intentional one-on-one conversation However, we have a bigger part of us which is operates 24 seven It's unlimited bar time and space and that's the part of you It's called the non conscious in a not subconscious not unconscious the non conscious And that's where your brilliance or intelligence your wisdom your intuition all the good stuff lies Everything that is amazing about you. It's also perfect Every experience that you have is there so good bad and ugly and if you have a toxic experience It doesn't just only build it there, but it builds these solutions immediately So it's literally as you're experiencing something toxic it immediately builds all the options of solutions So everything you need is in there. So what we need to do is to learn to tap into that level So now that level can multitask That level knows how to manage busy that level knows how to time manage So when we feel the urge to manage time and stuff there's nothing wrong with that But when we feel the urge to to do that we will automatically multitask And we try and so that gets very messy because consciously you can't multitask Non-consciously you multitasking even beyond you are simultaneous multitasking Multitasking slow for the non conscious So the point that I'm making is all your systems all your building of memory everything about you is happening at this very fast level Anyway, but for you to exist in a daily life in a physical body We have that that big fast stuff is filtered into the conscious mind and as we're awake We have to do one thing at a time now the minute we try to start jumping from this to this to this to this to this Respond to that text. I've got to solve this problem. I like to go on a podcast interview But I've got to solve that problem. I've got a kid today you try and that is when you get into such a mess That's why I called this book cleaning up a mental mess help your child clean up a mental mess. You'll hear me Play with that concept a lot is because the multitasking puts us into this mode then okay productivity Hustle culture. I've got to get better at my time and there's tremendous pressure I've done lots of podcasts by the way on this sort of thing so people can go and search for that and listen bottom line is Every multitask you will get into a time management. Hurry sickness tis So what you need to do is literally step back. You can doesn't mean that you'll just slow down It just means that you have to step back and stop reacting and start responding and sort of recognizing. Okay I can only do one thing at a time now I'm about to take my kids to school. I'm about to answer a business school. I'm about to like now do an interview I can't deal with that text that just came through I can't deal with the demands of the rest of my office or my other kids or whatever I'm in this interview so I tell everyone leave me alone for the next hour Leave me alone for the 15 minutes before I've got to go on the interview so I can get prepared I'm just giving you an example because I had just before I got on I had I you cannot tell How many texts came through from my team and calls and I just said it was closed I'm not answering until I've got time. So that's um, but if I try to solve that get that get ready for you I would have been a mess and that's an example That's what we do. Then you think okay. I've got to have time management I've got to do a time management course and then we start. Ah and we can't keep up with that It's just you can see how my shoulders are tensing up So we just need to say what you know, we need to step back Just throw all the time management stuff aside and work out what is realistic for you to do today And so that you and what's realistic and what is other boundaries you need to be efficient and what can you do now? Like you can say your kids. I can only make lunch for one at a time. I'm going to do your homework Just give me one second because they need to learn boundaries too So, you know, you are you not being a bad mom if you say I cannot answer that question right now I'll get to it if they freak out and react or your office worker freaks out and reacts That's their problem. Not yours. It really isn't your problem It's their problem because you're going to get to their problem and solve it when in your time But we live in a productive hustle culture their productivity Hustle culture that that so we've got to push that aside that's massive Now to help people with this was a journey when I was sitting you before we started was um, I told you about all the courses But we also have a 21 day brain detox challenge starting on the 1st of January every every January always run a brain detox Challenge because we want to detox our brain get our mind working properly at the beginning of the year And this year we've got a course in release called the 21 day brain detox course So that's another course in addition to the one I told you in the beginning So you probably need a list for all these people to start I would recommend this is a great place to start Because it's 21 days where I walk you through you actually you get the course the course is amazing It's got a video. It's got pdfs. It's got I hold your hand. I mean you learn so much You learn about this neuropsych all those things we're talking about I walk you through it and in addition There's all the support on instagram every day. I release a little I'll be releasing a little podcast There's a community everything that's a great place to start and then if you are into that Then from there you can go and get the help and hurry course the books the At all I take you you can then so that's a great place to start because we've said a lot and it's kind of overwhelming So that would be my recommendation and in that we do talk I do talk about multitasking and Pretty much a lot of the concepts you've already asked me And if you like you said If you find that that's helpful then help in a hurry also has a course and if you sign up for that course Then you get the book for free You get a signed copy in the help and hurry book course And then also in this 21 day brain detox challenge course I'm also putting this book in because it really helps because some of the things that you the opinion here is how to Deal with pressure talk about time management in this book I talk about multitasking the stuff you questions you ask me is answers in there and in the brain detox course I actually teach you how to apply that too So that's so you get this this book in both courses and it's included for free. So which is really cool That's really cool. It's so interesting caroline because this book that we're talking about that I read which is called switch on your brain Is from 2013 Yeah So, you know, this is a decade old though It all still is very applicable and you're going to learn a lot from it But from 2013 and you wrote in that book in 2013 you wrote the last the amount of time People spend multitasking American young people the I'm going to read it actually verbatim here the amount of time spent multitasking You call it milkshake multitasking among American young people has increased 120 In the last 10 years. So this is from 2003 to 2013 Automatically It's increased more, but you know, it's interesting to think about we've been our our kids are 17 down to 9 But we started getting outside when they were 3 and under it's been over 10 years caroline and what I have felt I have felt that Things have gotten more harried you can feel it. Oh, yes, absolutely And it's on moms. I mean, this is that the I I feel so I'm the market the all adults and older and From sort of 28 onwards and But I look at them as parents and things and you just the pressure on parents to perform The performative nature of parenting has detracted from well, there's no time for my kid to go outside because I've got to be doing this and this and this And then we tell you the best thing you can do is take away all the toys give them some Good old fashioned tupperware and boxes and stick them in your garden to play They will do way better than all these expensive fancy Whatever and you know, yes controlling the cell phone. You got to teach them all that is all I want not anti technology You want all of it, but it's all how do you manage it now that child's still growing When you're born your unconscious mind that big part of you that intelligent part all that intelligence is there But it filters through slowly as we grow. So this is why you see in children. There's absolute like almost spiritual Nature and the way that they can just enjoy things and then it starts changing around 1911 and shifting and all that stuff Yes, these hormones and stuff, but they start learning and they have to go through this they start learning to um connect with this Deep intelligent part and consciously work it out because it's a learning experience. It's not an automatic thing It's going to it's a process of learning if we stifle that with too much busyness too much controlled activity too much Doing you know getting them like ready to be little iron stines You're detracting from that that natural growth does just not happen Read to them. I always would tell my patients when I was my mom's and my patients and I still throw this now Get outside but read read read read read top of my prescription read read read Go outside sit under the tree in the snow put up the umbrella read Let them imagine it is the quickest way to develop language the quickest way to develop To keep that connection between the conscious mind and the non-conscious mind very strong Outside reading those are two things outside and free play So even if it's raining you can't go outside free play And reading those are two skills that will help your child stay at a place of help Very very important simple simple things and if they're in that place where they're amazed this is where this is I mean we're going to be bringing out a full course on this too, but this book is very very self-explanatory Is because they're going to be living in a world that is not ideal That isn't free play and it's they're going to be in a world where there's so much pressure where school structure completely Ante what they need for example a child should not be doing anything math oriented before sort of 19 o'clock in the morning But often the first lesson of the day at 7 15 is math or something like that They they should be reading stories at that time Very few schools are going to I've worked in schools for years and trained teachers for years and setup systems and When you actually get a child to read for the first hour of the day or just read to them You will have a child focusing for most of the rest of the day But that doesn't really happen. So children are in an environment where they're not going to get the ideal So you do have to clean up the mental mess. So you do need to come in and that's why I wrote this book It's just okay. They're going to get labeled. They're going to get told they're not focusing They're going to get told they've got ADHD They're going to get told all these things. So what is the truth? How do you manage that? How do you handle that? You know that so that's really important to corporate parents who have those skills So much there there's so much there heading into a new year too This is a great time to grab books like these and to really help your family grow in those areas You say they're growing up in a world that's not ideal and that's sort of where we're at You know you talk about the multitasking that increased from 2003 to 2013 120 percent how much does it increase from 2013 to 2025 or 2000? Yeah, you feel it. That's you know, sort of what I was saying is we started to get outside and then I felt like gosh, you know Even that it takes the edge off But now I'm like gosh, we've really got to protect our inside time The screen just becomes so addictive and so pervasive And the amount of work that you do same thing. There's just all these pressures. So it's good to have these reminders I was at go ahead Sorry, I don't want to interrupt you but I want to give you a little tip that works brilliantly for inside screen time Get Lego lots of it And make your kids build Lego while they watch tv You it's unbelievable how and if they if they're watching something on their phone You know literally if they scroll in little that you should control obviously you all know that I don't have to tell you what you really know I'm speaking to the choir, but if they're watching tv Always make them build Lego at the same time And what it does is it keeps all the sensors into integrated and it teaches them to focus in a different way And they will then and then also another trick And not a trick. I mean, it's an actual Brain science thing neuroscience thing is if they've watched tv for an hour Then they've got to read for an hour And if you make that a rule Those two things alone will help control screen time There's a million things out there on how social media so bad for your kids blah blah blah This we have we have found consistently when you build that into a child's life from as young as possible You will you will find that they don't get addicted to the screen time It pretty much is a guarantee balance screen time if you really okay, you've been on the up short go scroll for an hour Now read for an hour Watching TV play the Lego or you know these those other things anything you get those magnetic blocks But I like Lego because it requires intimate intricate. You got to pick things up. You got to put things together you've got to design things it requires quite a lot of skill and It really makes your brain work hard But that's what we call brain building. Anyway, so those are just a couple of little things that really really help I love those ideas. I love that you said it keeps your senses integrated It makes me think about when you're sitting during a lecture and how gosh that would be so helpful To have your senses integrated to be able to do something with your hand It just makes you more engaged and I think you can take so much more in those are fantastic suggestions I read a statistic just recently that said that up until I don't remember when maybe the 1990s Maybe even later that the average child didn't start watching Television didn't have much screen exposure until age four And now it's four months No, it's crazy. I've actually got a whole chapter in here on that as well on the on the different screen times and also in that In switch on your brain there's some stuff in there on that as well. No, it's scary. I know it's absolutely scary So it's it's part of life. So yes, it can let me say let me rephrase that I don't want people to feel fear is the worst thing. So let's change that It's not fearful It's reality But if you don't manage that reality You're gonna make you you it's going to create a huge problem. So this is the reality we live in how we're gonna manage it That's better than saying. Oh my gosh. This is terrifying What's going to happen to my kids because that fear will block your ability to connect with your non-conscious mind And find the wisdom and intuition to the situation in your family So don't need fear rule. Just say this is a reality. How do I manage it? Mm-hmm. And you come up with these ideas that are exciting. It's exciting. Get the Lego bin out It's exciting too. You know, you're gonna have your reading time. These are fantastic ideas I'd love to wrap it up here because you talked about the kids and their spiritual nature And we were just the other night at a Christmas performance, you know a kid's Christmas performance and it's crowded You know how these things are there's no chairs, you know, the adults are kind of restless You're like thinking about the work you need to do and right next to me There was these two and three year olds and they were just running in circles And then they were laying on the floor and then they were like rubbing their whole body on the ground And then they would get up and they would chase each other again. There was nothing there They had no toys and I decided the base time Yeah, and that joy that's there. So one of the things that you talk about is you talk about believing in God There are over 1200 studies linking intentional prayer in overall health and longevity You had a physician or maybe a surgeon who had given a quote that said My experiences have convinced me because he would pray before his surgeries I think my experiences have convinced me that spirituality is a crucial element to the well-being of a person as a whole You talk about the helper T cells and that belief in God is actually helping the body Yes, that'd be a great thing to wrap it up with. I know it's great and it is great And I want to stress here that this is not just who we are There's this massive eternal nature that we have and in fact, there's more research confirming that consciousness or mind You are eternal nature exists Beyond the physical body once a physical body dies You the eternal nature exists beyond there's more research proving that than there is medications Which is amazing. So in other words, the spiritual we are spiritual Now your non-conscious level that I keep referring to that is your spiritual level And it's where wisdom intelligence intuition, etc reside so spirituality can express itself in many forms But that is essentially the core of who we are And so we need to keep on You know developing that and so that the system that I've developed the formula It's all about how do we tap into that? Non-conscious spiritual levels all geared to that because when you tap into that you can actually run your life You're still going to cry and be sad and whatever but you'll have peace in the midst of chaos and that's what we need You wrote the ability to quiet your mind Focus your attention on the present issue Capture your thoughts and dismiss the distractions that come your way is an excellent and powerful ability That god has placed within you in the busy age we live in however We have trained ourselves out of this natural and necessary skill There are so many tools that you can get from the books that you've written The one I have here is called switch on your brain It's got over 8500 reviews on amazon the key to peak happiness thinking and health In this one you talk about meditators or regular meditators talk about negative thinking talk about Sabbath in the brain You talk about your default mode network and you talk about how this this short amount of time five to 16 minutes a day Of focused meditative capturing of thoughts shifts. It shifts your brain so that you're more likely to engage in the world There's so much I got out of just this one book you talk about quantum things So that's interesting All the things that like you wouldn't have learned about in school You learn in trigonometry, but you really need to know about how the brain does the bidding of the mind So you can learn about that in this help in a hurry. You can get the course and get the signed copy of the book for free There's how to help your child. There's also the neuropsychal app and As well there is clean up your cleaning up your mental mess So if any of this is of interest to you, you can kind of go down those different paths and figure out where to start I'll make sure I'll put all the links in the show notes Caroline we always end our show with the same question. What's a favorite memory from your childhood that was outside? Oh gosh going to we had this incredible um We went it's we grew up in South Africa. I was born in St. Bobby. We had this beautiful holiday flat That was in Durban, which is on the coast and we would go and we would go out and onto the beach And I just remember that excitement as a child of just my feet on the sand and the sea and that It's just never gone away. You know that from from a little child So I always recall that so yeah, it's a beautiful memory Thank you so much for being here You were amazing. You so organized. I loved I loved how you did it and we hit some listen We got deep in a short time. Very impressive. Thank you great interview. I loved it All right, if you're walking away from this conversation with a new language for your own mind or new compassion for your kids I'm so glad you listened Please consider sending it off to one person a sister a friend your group chat a spouse Someone who's been feeling stretched reactive or emotionally maxed out And if you've never left a review for the show, I'd be so grateful if you left one sure It's perfect a sense or two helps the podcast get in front of families who are looking for this message So it just takes a minute or two. Thank you so much for spending this time with me I hope you have a wonderful weekend until next time. May you find extraordinary moments on ordinary paths Get outside open your eyes feel that sunshine Kissing your skin throw your worries out to the wind Climb some trees skin your knees feel that grass on your feet again get out there and take it in Oh Ain't nothing on the screen that's ever gonna be this view Oh It's a beautiful And I just want to share with I just want to share with you It's beautiful Such a beautiful world