"Mel Robbins"

All right, listener, we're going to start with a little brain tease for us just to get us up on our feet and get nice and sharp for the chatter and the banter. What we're going to do, we're going to try a little quick little podcast exercise. Here we go. Ready? I'm going to start one more time. Still wrong? And here I go. I'm going to start. Ready? S. M. A. R. T. L. Well, we're going to go again. We're not really up to podcast. It was my turn. No, but why were you pausing? I was scared. I was going to get the wrong letter. You want to write it out and find out so you have a fun view. You don't know how to smell smart. We're making a thousand episodes in this one. Here we go. Here we go. In three, two, one. Ready? S. M. A. R. T. L. E. S. I almost made it. Welcome to SmartList. There we go. We limp across the finish line. No wonder that's the title. Smart. List. Smart. List. Smart. List. Smart. List. Smart. List. You know, Will, it's really, Will, it's odd to see you this morning. I, yesterday, Maple, for the uninitiated listener, that's my youngest daughter. She's 13. She's got some friends that were talking about arrested developments, which said to me, well, I'd like to see arrested development. She hasn't really seen it. Oh, wow. It's a shut up, Sean. You haven't seen it. I should watch it with her. Yeah, no. So I was watching arrested last night, season one, episode three, four, and five. No. There he is. Look at him. Look at this. There's Joe right there. A little star struck. Boy, we were such little kiddies. That was 25 years ago. I know, dude. It's crazy. Isn't that amazing? We look very different. We all look very different. I know. And it's, Sean has no point of reference, but it's other than his memory. By the way, Jason, he also knew us at the time we were on the show too. So we watched it then. I know. I know. We were watching Will and Grace. One of us was actually on Will and Grace. I went on. I went on. I know. We loved it. Yeah. Well, how about that? Wait, what does it feel like you guys 25 years ago? Doesn't it feel like just a week ago? It does. Yes and no. It does. 25 years is pretty short at this age. Yeah. Yeah. It's pretty weird. So, Sean, you're still in London. Sean, what's the elevator updates? Sorry. I haven't asked in a while. So how are we doing? Are we okay? Jason came. It was broken the day before he came and then they fixed it. And I'll have you know during the, what was it, what was it there? Four days? Yeah. Four days? Didn't ride the elevator once on purpose. I got through. Because of that. No, no, no. I just, I was like, no, I can do these stairs. I'm going to pretend that I'm back in the olden days. That's right. That's right. Yeah. This thing was built, this townhouse was built in 1770. Krikey. I know that's Aussie. Elevator two. No. And Willie, you're still in, you just slogging it out there and blue collar Long Island. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This. Put in the air. No air conditioning and sweeping the steps. I mean, you know, I mean, this is, this is such a, for me, it's such a, I'm getting whiplash because like I'm normally, I'd be in the, in the ocean right now. I'm playing golf with beer men tomorrow. Right. Why, why, what do you mean? Whip, what do you mean? Oh, I mean, just because I'm having to do, because I'm doing this. No, because I have to come downstairs to do this. Oh, sorry. So sorry to interrupt. Hey, how has golf been? I'm going to actually hit balls today for the first time in over eight months, probably. I just want to say this, my best part, one of my favorite things about JB, one of the many, many things that I love about him is a, his, when he's playing golf, he's playing golf. And when he's not, he's really not playing. Like he won't, he won't go to, but Jason, what's funny is the number of people who are aware of it and I get so much on the fringes of like, Hey, I get to ask like, is Jason playing again? Has he started, has he started yet? Like everybody knows that when it starts, it's going to be an avalanche. So I can, you know what else it is. It's people, people miss me, Will. They miss, there's a big hole in their lives and they want to know it can be filled again. Yeah. You're right. They want that hole. They want that asshole, that hole back. It's a hole. It's a hole. Yeah. They want back. As your, as your, is your game, your game must be good enough where you haven't, you haven't given up the game. No, it's actually, I didn't play for a little bit and it's actually been pretty good recently, to be honest. God bless. Yeah. My, I mean, I don't know if our audience wants to hear, I'm hitting irons, but you know, You're hitting irons, no woods. I'm hitting irons well. It's been good. Yeah. It's been good. Here you go. Sorry about that. Oh, nice. Will. I said, I preemptively said sorry. I haven't seen you guys for a couple of, Oh, we got a classy guest. I can tell by Sean's embarrassment. No, not at all. Not a classy guest, Sean. No, I wanted to share with Will what Jason was kind of blown away when we, I went for a walk with me, Jason Franny, and we walked past Buckingham Palace and I asked the genuine question. It's such a beauty, Will. If the family actually lived in the palace and I was, I'm done, but the point is, You wanted to know if it was just a tourist stop. That's what I thought it was. That size place, all the infrastructure in and around it and everything, just, just for people to walk by and look through the gates. To look at it like, because I thought it was like the Mona Lisa, like I don't think the Mona Lisa, the real Mona Lisa is hanging. I think that's gotta be like a cute thing. It sure is. And also like, why would they, if it was for tourists, then they'd let them in. Right. Oh, that's true. And I looked at him like he was, you know, the kind of, the kind of doorknob that would say, Hey boy, Beatles is spelled B-E-A-T. I never did. And I'm like, yeah, man. I had a lot of people backing me up on that. They still, they still live there. And then of course I've got other castles that they live in sometimes too, but that's home for them. He's like, Oh, really? Yeah, you dumbass. Two hours later, he pulls me aside in privacy and goes, Hey, no, seriously, do they still live there? You fucking dumbass. I didn't want anybody else to hear me. Been picking about it. Yeah. For two hours, like, wow, they really lived there. You know what? Next time, spare yourself the embarrassment of us chewing you out and just look it up. Turn on the Google machine. I know. I was got, I know. I had it, I had it in my brain that I needed to Google it later. But is it most of the memory on your phone taken up by Candy Crush? Is that the problem? The Google that they've throttled your Google down? What's my data? No, all right. We haven't done a record for a couple of weeks. I know. It's so fun to see you guys. I know. It's really fun to see you. You guys look great. I miss you guys so much. I miss you too. And then you guys texted me a really nice text and said that we're here. Jason was very sweet and squishy and said, we're here and we're thinking about you. We're talking about you. No response. We miss you. No response. And I know, well, I was like, I almost cried. It was so moving. And then, oh, then I sent you another. I sent you a little link to a fun pair of shoes that we all thought that you'd actually really look at. I did respond to that. About three days later. Well, you know, I'm on a delayed. You're not that busy. You're not a delay. And I know that that phone is attached to your little holster right next to your sidearm. You're always on the phone. Why do I take three days to get a response? I don't text you enough. No, Will's not a super fast text or back. I'm not. I'm not. I'm really not. Because he's busy doing. I'm not here. I do try to leave my phone, put my phone down as much as I can. Riley. Oh, dude. Oh, Riley. I've been heard Riley. All right, guys, before we get to the guests, can I just let's, yeah, let's, let's, let's remind everybody are very excited about this. Oh, yes, yes, yes. We are bringing smart list to one of the most iconic spots in the world. And no, we're not talking about Sean cereal bowl. We're talking about the Hollywood. Jason. Jason. So if you're in that Hollywood area, this fall, you know when it is. You're so helpful the way you toss to me this fall, Saturday, November 15th here in Los Angeles, if you're in the area, Saturday, November 15th, when did tickets go on sale? That ticket again, really? Will. I know Friday, September 12th, 10 a.m. Pacific time tickets go on sale Friday, September 12th. Come slide. Yeah. Before Jason's bedtime. Okay. Before I go to bed or I can sleep on stage. It's fun to see me. And what are the some of the things you think we can see? I think that we're going to have some guests. We're going to have some. You're going to have a guest. I'm going to have a guest. Sean is not going to get a guest. But I'll bring a bowl of cereal just to make sure the loop on the little. That's what a loop closer you are. You've been closing loops since 1970. Not just for loops. Okay. All right. So listen. So once again, that's this fall at the Hollywood Bowl, November 15th, you can start getting tickets on September 12th. And our listeners have a chance to get tickets first, right? Our presale begins Thursday, September 9th. September 9th. Yeah. 10 a.m. Pacific time visit smartlist.com slash live and enter our code and you guessed it. It's Tracy T R A C E Y for first access. That's our listeners with a presale, a chance September 9th. 10 a.m. Smartlist.com slash live guys. Yeah. It's exciting Friday. And you can't, can you tell me who your guests are? No, no, no, it's supposed to be surprising. No surprise. It's going to be surprising. So the audience too for the first time, right? Well, I guess these live shows is not the first time, but like, JB, you were just, you were just at the bowl too. Just at the bowl, watching some classical music with, with Amanda and the girls and they, they hated me for, yeah, they got some nice eye rest. But grand, grand, granddad was really enjoying it. I had a good time. I know. Anyway, we're going to, we're going to liven things up there on, on, on Saturday, November 15th. So get your tickets starting on the 12th of September or presale on the 9th. It's going to be a brilliant. It's going to be a brilliant. It's going to be a brilliant. It's going to be a brilliant. Okay. Let's get to our guests. Come on. All right. Here comes our guest. Yes, our guest, our guest. By the way, circling back to Google, here's somebody you don't have to Google. Because you know what? CEO of Google. Could you imagine? No, she's better than that. She's bigger than that. She's bigger than Google. Yeah. Jesus Christ. She's yeah, a little intimidating. She's one of those people who makes you wake up, quit complaining, get your shirt together. No, back in college, she proposed to her boyfriend. They got married. They're still together behind her signature black rimmed glasses. She's a podcast powerhouse, a full, little, little goal and the number one bestselling author in the world right now. Please welcome the five seconds. That's it. Five second queen herself, Mel. Oh my God. I lose like these fucking losers are going to spend 50 minutes figuring out who this is and they never guess it's me. I would just shrink. Can you believe these fucking losers? I was thinking the same thing about these fucking losers. We're on the same, I'm not in that. I'm separate from that, but thank you. You're welcome. And you know, I got news for you guys. Sean called me. He's sick of your bullshit. He can't change you. So he called him heavy. This is an intervention. This is the transition. Mel, you're taking over for Sean Robbins. She's adopted me. I'm Sean Robbins. Oh, good luck. Good luck having him. What an honor to have you on the show. Mel, this is very, very nice of you slumming it with us. I know you are slumming it. Well, you know, I honestly was blown away because I know one of the criteria is you have to guess who the guest is. And I thought, oh, unless Sean says she's constantly ahead of us on the rankings in the podcast chart. Who's looking? That came up. I was just discussing you last week with some fancy people. And they were, they were singing your praises and they were telling me about the whole let them thing. And so I'm very eager to hear about. Yes, I can't wait for you guys to hear about it. Yeah, come on. Let it really. I like to let them think too. Oh, they're all behind you. Well, do this first Mel. If you don't mind jumping in. First of all, thanks for being on here. Huge fan. I love how you speak, what you speak about, how you motivate me, how you motivate everybody. Like it's, I can't get enough of you. I really, this is you motivated. This motivated. No shower. I look fantastic. But, but Mel, can you first talk before we get to let them, which I love and I can't wait for you to tell Jason what that is. And will, what about the five second rule? Can you just go over the five second rule? Because for people who don't know, it sounds like obviously what you do when you drop the food on the floor and blah, blah, blah. It is kind of like that. So, you know, I think the first thing to understand is that everything that I talk about, I learned the hard way by screwing up my own life. And I don't think any of us wake up in the morning. Well, we'll might, but I, most of us don't wake up in the morning and go, you know what I'm going to do today, today, I'm going to fuck up my life. I think I'm going to drink too much and lie to people and lose my job. What ends up happening to most of us is over time, you spend too much time thinking about what you need to do and not doing what you need to do. Right. And I found myself in a situation when I was 41 years old, I was in a state of depression. 41 years old, three kids under the age of 10 where my husband had gone into the restaurant business. Right. Lost almost a million bucks. Oh yeah. Like complete idiots, we secured it with our life savings. Right. And the restaurant business was great until 2008 hit. And like everybody else, the world turns upside down and we found ourselves 800 grand in debt. Right. The leans hit the house, I lose my job and I couldn't get myself out of bed. And let's be honest, getting out of bed is a relatively easy thing to do when you think about the mechanics. I mean by the time you're 41 years old, you've done it for 41 years. Right. But the simplest things in life can seem impossible when you're overwhelmed or stressed out or anxious or you have so many problems. Or depressed or whatever. And so I just found myself in the situation where I would literally wake up every morning and stare at the ceiling and basically be like, I hate my life. I hate my husband. I don't know how I got here. We're fucked. And the more I thought about the problems, the more I felt like a human pot roast, marinating in bed. Right. And it became harder and harder to get out of bed. And you know, honestly, I was literally, I knew what to do. And I think this is one of the biggest things about life. That life is simple. We just seem to make it very complicated. Yeah. You can know what to do in any situation. And you guys talk about the Google, just go to Google or that chat GTP thing and put in whatever it is that you want. And it'll spit out what you need to do. Making yourself do it is what feels impossible. And so one night I was watching TV. It was a, it was Monday night in February 2008. And you literally are one decision away from a different life. That's, that is the heart of what I talk about, the power of your decisions. And I was giving myself that pep talk, you know, when you, I don't know if you guys have ever, you can give each other pep talks. When you're giving one to yourself, you're kind of screwed where you're like, all right, that's it. Tomorrow it's the new you woman. You got to pull your shit together. You got to stop being an asshole to Chris. You got to put down the alcohol. You got to get those kids on the bus by God. You got to, you got to get a job. You got to open the bills that have been piling up for six months. And when that alarm rings, you can't lay there and marinate in your fears and hit the snooze button six times. You woman have got to get out of bed and honest to God, a rocket ship launched across the television screen. It was probably like at the end of a smartless mobile commercial, you know, like launch rate. No, but it's not a bad idea though. Right. I feel it. Take it. Just write that down. Take it. And so it is my idea. It is when you claim it like that. So I literally thought, oh my God, it's a sign from God. That's it tomorrow morning. What, just a rocket on the TV? On the TV? Is that what you're talking about? Yeah. Well, it was probably the four bourbon Manhattan's I had that gave me that idea. It was kind of stupid, but I was drinking a lot back then. And so the next morning, Tuesday morning, the alarm rings and here's the fatal mistake everybody makes. There is this moment where you know what you should do. You should speak up, you should start the damn thing, you should quit the job, you should end the relationship, you should go to the gym. But instead of doing it, you stop and think about how you feel about doing it. And within five seconds flat in that hesitation, you literally switch gears in your brain. I didn't know this at the time I do now. But the longer you think about it, the less likely you're going to do it. And in about five seconds, you lose all motivation. Wow. And your whole life plays out in this five second window. And isn't there science to this too, right? Tons of science. I mean, now I know the science. I didn't know it then. Then I was just hungover, waking up to a life that was a nightmare and habits of avoidance. What was the thing you saw at night on TV? It wasn't literally a rocket. It was a rocket ship. At the end of a commercial, it was like launched and I was so drunk, I was like, oh my God, it's God. Okay, I'll get out of bed. I'll launch myself out of bed so fast. I'll move like a rocket. I won't be in there when the anxiety and the depression hits. I'm going to move. You took it as a metaphor. You took it to heart and it stayed with you the next morning and up you went. Yup. You inside. Well, I counted backwards and that's the part. What would have happened if you'd seen the image of a sinking ship? Oh God, right there. Done. We're out. We're just going to clock out right now. Or just the flaming Hindenburg. Yes. Exactly. Exactly. But the thing is, Jason, various two point, you have to count backwards. Okay. It's not just moving in five seconds. The counting backwards is critical. What researchers call it. Like a launch. Yes. Five, four, three, two, one. You have to count backwards. It doesn't work if you count up. Okay. One, two, three, four, five doesn't work because you've been saying that ever since you learned how to count and whatever language you learned how to count. When you count backwards, you have to focus for a moment. And that brings your prefrontal cortex online, which is the part of the brain that helps you make decisions. It's the part of the brain that helps you learn new behavior. It's the part of the brain that you need to use if you're going to lock in new habits. And I had a habit of just hitting this news button and avoiding everything. This new habit was about taking action five, four, three, two, one, move before you feel ready. So the countdown is supposed to be, this is how many seconds I have before this thing I'm ruminating about. I have to get out of it. Is that before it become complacent? Right. So I have to, I have to set this up. So I do this countdown, this final countdown. Oh, sing it well. Do it. Let's see an illusion. I'll never do it. I'll never do it because I don't want to, I don't want to pay for it. They don't get the reference, which is great. No, but I do. And I love you. And you were fantastic on that show. You should have gotten an Emmy every year, Will. So, so, so you do, so you, so you, so you do the, you do the countdown and the first day it works. Yeah, I get out of bed. I'm like five fourths for the first time in six months. I was out of bed when the alarm rang. What'd you do? What was the first thing you knocked down? Did you put on, did you put on the little lemons and you got out there and you just did a high, high fist. High fists walk. No, no, no motivation for that yet. I'm just like, I'm low bar here. We're just talking like get out of bed. I literally walk into the kitchen and my poor husband's standing there in front of the fridge. What are you doing? Chris had lost all that fucking money and he's down there. He's probably making an enigmic muffin. Correct, motherfucker. And so you know how that thing happens where you see somebody you love and you just want to kill him? Well, every day for me, every day. Yes. I'm kidding. I love you, Amanda. No, no, no, no, the people that you love the most are the most annoying. Sure. And so I just went five, four, three, two, one because I knew he was trying his best. It wasn't like he was trying to fail. Yeah. And my anger wasn't helping. And so counting backwards interrupted that pattern of snapping and screaming and reacting and gave me this ability to be in charge of what I was doing instead of constantly letting my emotions dictate. See, this is what everybody gets wrong about motivation. Motivation is garbage. It's never there when you need it. You got to learn how to make yourself do things that you don't feel like doing. And if you ever did that, you'd have everything you've ever wanted. And so you put, I'm assuming you put one foot in front of the other and I'm not asking for a tick talk of the day, but was there, for those out there that are having trouble making this crucial first step, what was the, what really, what was the tangible thing that you did first and from that you built on that progress and exponentially put more and more inertia down the road? It's a great question. Everybody hates the answer. Literally changing your life isn't glamorous. It's grueling and it does not happen overnight. It happens over time. And I always say, cause people are like, how did you do everything that you're doing? Cause that was 16 years ago. And so the person that everybody sees now and what I do out in the world is 16 years in the making. And I say that the, what you see now is a result of one thing. I taught myself how to get out of bed on days when I didn't fucking feel like it. That's the secret. That's it. Cause if you can force yourself out of bed when you don't feel like it because of the depression, or the anxiety, or the overwhelm, or the hangover, or whatever it may be. And the body feeds off that first progress, right? Yes. Yeah. We'll be right back. And now back to the show. Now, Mel, let me ask you this and I like it. I like this area a lot and I like the way that you talk about it. I like that you're passionate for it and your excitement. And I, and I understand and appreciate the way that you were able to do that, that first day and see a result and feel a change in your body and in your mind and your spirit, et cetera. All those things connected. And then so you do it again. I imagine I'm sort of skipping for it. You do it a bunch and you really start to see results and then you think to yourself, other people can benefit from this too. If I can do it or eventually, eventually you get to a point where you think that other people can benefit from the lessons that you learned the hard way, et cetera. But you also have the benefit of this, this momentum that you've got doing it. So there are other people go, well, yeah, it works for Mel because she's getting, she's getting feedback from her pushing this out to the world. I don't have, I'm not getting that same feedback on a global level. And I'm not getting that feedback. I'm just, you know, a person in Cleveland who's doing it and nobody's recognizing that I'm doing it. So yeah, it works for you. Cause, and you're kicking ass doing it. You're at the top of the game. But if you're just Joe Schmoe, like if you're me. But 16 years ago, she wasn't getting that, right? Right. No, it was three years of using it in secret before I ever told anybody about it because let's face it. I didn't know why it worked. Right. I'm $800,000 in debt. Right. I am barely making the ends meet. What business do I have telling anybody anything? And so I used it in secret. And by the way, was that an important part of it keeping it secret? In other words, holding your power and not bragging to the, to your partner. Hey, today I'm going to start working out. Like I find that sometimes my, my, my stick to itiveness is better if I don't share what my, what my goals and my, my, my, my plans for progress are. And I keep it inside and I just do it myself and I've only got myself to answer to. And then once I get some momentum going, then I, then I share like, Hey, by the way, I've been working out for a week, you know? Or by the way, I haven't had sugar for a week or something. Jason, do you keep a lot of feelings inside though? I do. I know. I know. I know. You do. I know. It's going to burst. But was that, was that an important part? Did you, did you, was this, was this a private sort of initial stage? No, like I, like I told Chris, my husband Chris, but I, but literally it was self-preservation. I mean, we were in a free fall for crying out loud. Right. Well, what did Chris say? It was Chris like, okay, cool. As long as you're not bitching at me and screaming at me, I'll try anything. Like if this keeps you coming off my ass that I'm working as hard as I can woman, like finally you see it. Oh, Chris. Now I, I mean. Fuck Chris. I know. Fuck Chris. Okay. Like, come on. He's a nice guy. You're 10-todd from 2011 and now has over 30 million views from 2011. I want to see it. And is this, is this what it's most, was that what it's mostly about? Is the five-second rule? No. Okay. So here's the story. So three years go by, I'm using five, four, three, two, one, five, four, three, two, one, two, get out of bed to network and get a job to open up the bills, to just do the basic blocking and tackling that we all need to do because nobody's coming. You can sit around and hope that somebody's going to come and fix this. They're not. And the sooner you recognize, you got to stop waiting to feel ready. And you've got to get to a point in your life where, where you're at doesn't work for you anymore. So you're going to do something about it. So for three years, I'm just working at it. Chris is going back into the restaurant business, renegotiating leases, like working 100 hours a week. I'm finding odd job after odd jobs. We can just get the bankruptcy off our back and keep ourselves afloat with three kids under the age of 10. Plus. You're literally just looking to make a paycheck. You're not driving towards some North Star career-wise. Like, I'm going to build a podcast and it's going to be a big success. No, you didn't have any sort of direction. Absolutely not. And also, I think when you get to a point where you really screw up your own life, because nobody makes a vision board and is like, hey, let's put images of bankruptcy and divorce and alcoholism on it. Right. It's on the back. And plus friends and family had invested in the restaurant business. And so I can't exactly go around trashing and complaining. And so we're just like- You're looking to pay them back and get your head above water financially. Yes. That's okay. So we're in survival mode. And you're pretty incredible and resourceful when you're in survival mode. And so a buddy calls me. We still have $800,000 in debt. We still have leans on the house three years later. We are still just making the ends meet. And a buddy calls me from college and says, hey, there's a person who is putting on an event in San Francisco that I know that's looking for somebody who's changed their job a lot. And I thought about you. And that's not really a compliment, but she said, they're offering two first-class plane tickets and two nights at the St. Regis. All you got to do is talk about career change. Now, I had never given a speech on a stage in my life. I'd taken a public high school speaking class, but I had been a lawyer or public defender in Manhattan. And so I'd worked in courtrooms, but I'd never given a speech. When you're that in debt, that sounds like a free vacation. Right? And so I'm like, Chris, we're going to San Francisco. Mom, dad, come watch the kids. It sounds like a free vacation in any- Yeah, in any capacity. Yeah. To be honest. Exactly. Well, I didn't really think through the part of 700 people in an auditorium. Right. Right. And so I get out on that stage and it happens to be one of the first ever TEDx conferences. And they weren't a thing. Where do you get the balls for no stage fright and all that? Oh, you're watching a 21-minute long panic attack. Like, I want you to look close at that TED talk. I've got this neck rash that people get when they're drunk or they're nervous a minute in. Oh, yeah. I used to get that a ton. And I am darting around the stage. And this is not about the five-second rule. It's about career change. And I get to minute 19 and I forget how to end the talk. And I look out and I'm like, oh, I know. I do this thing. I call it the five-second rule. The moment you have an instinct to act, you got to move within five seconds or else your brain will kill your motivation. Thank you very much. Oh, by the way, here's my email if you have questions. And I leave. Yeah. Now. You gave your email out publicly? Oh, I mean, I'm just a normal person trying to get a free vacation by giving a speech about something I don't know about. A year goes by. Did they pick up incidentals? Sorry. No. A year goes by. Seriously. This is now 2012. A year goes by. I have a job. Chris is still like trying to make, we still have leans on the house and Ted X decides to put it online. I don't know this. Another year goes by 2013. I start getting emails at that email address. People start to write to me from a long time ago. People start to write to me from around the world. Mel, I've used 54321 to lose 100 pounds, 54321 to get out of bed, despite the depression. I use 54321 to stop myself from jumping over this ferry and find the courage to ask for help. And I was so blown away. This answers your question, Will, about like, at one point did you start talking about it that while working a full-time job for several years, I would come home at night and pour a glass of wine and answer these emails. I would come home at night and pour a glass of wine and answer these emails from strangers because I felt obligated to figure out why does this thing work? Right, right. And so I started researching it and talking to people. And simultaneously building a following and a mailing list that you could then sort of transfer over into the podcast? Started to. Not yet. Like 2012, if you, you can scroll back manually through Instagram. You have to do it manually. I just pictures of my kids and barbecues and, you know, I didn't know normal people could make a living giving keynote speeches. And so people started to ask me to speak in 2013, 2014. And like, you know, I went and spoke for free. And then there was this moment in 2014 where a person came up to me after speaking for free at a big women's conference and said, hey, did you get your check for this thing yet? And I was like, check. You got paid for this? Am I the only idiot here who's doing this for free? And that's what I'm like, I got to figure this out. Do you think that when you were younger that this was this kind of mode, this kind of thinking was inside you the whole time when you were growing up? You just didn't know it. That's what I wondered too. And like, because I remember your mom used to say, you said, I read that she said, fix it. Wait, wait, fix it yourself and pull up your big girl panties and figure it out and fix it yourself or something like that. Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, I come from like Midwestern farming stock. And so when the chores need to get done, the chores need to get done. Like that's my mom grew up on a big farm. My dad grew up in a working class family. And so there's just sort of a pragmatism to and a focus on doing things instead of talking about things. Yeah. So that was kind of in you then at the, you know, when you're. Yeah. And touching bottom often brings out the best parts of ourselves. You know, because, because he has touching bottoms is completely revolutionized my life. Oh, touching your bottom or touching bottom? So what was the question? No, I do suspect that you do seem to have that that it's not a, it doesn't feel like a leap. Now, of course, we're catching you after years of doing this and living this way and transforming your life. But I think that there is, I suspect there was a kernel of that like Sean kind of what you were saying that there was a kernel of that in there. And whether it's your Midwestern roots or your blue. I think also you're, you're pretty sharp. You know, so. Well, yeah, you say you're a public defender in New York. I mean, so you're, you're no ding dong. Yeah. Right. Yeah, I guess not. I mean, I've done some pretty ding dong things. No, well, yeah. Being smart doesn't mean you're actually smart about how you live your life. No, but you know, discipline, you went through law school, like there's, there's, you know how to, you know, to ask yourself to really bring it if you need to. Yeah. Right. And you, and when you had ADHD when you were a kid, but you didn't know that it was ADHD, correct? Yeah. But I think sometimes that's, that's a superpower later on in life. Like I just saw this thing like on Tik Tok or something a long time ago about, we talked about this the other day. I know I'm against the truth. I haven't read that book yet. And it said something about like childhood trauma or childhood something sometimes in children create ADD as a coping mechanism. They don't, they can't leave their house. They can't leave where they, right? Cause that's your shelter and your food and your family and whatever. But because of some trauma where you can't leave your brain's trying to constantly figure out how to problem solve. And in doing so, it developed, you develop ADD or ADHD. I think there was Gabor Maté that talked about the connection before the 20. Hang on. Let me finish. Gabor Maté, I think said that. Yeah, go ahead. I had a delicious Maté the other day. I had a Gamora Laté too last time. What do you think of that, Mel? Hey, listen, I will say this. Mel, there, well, to that ADHD thing, it sounds like from the little, again, that I know of it, but I know when it comes to people that I'm related to who have been diagnosed with having deficits in when it comes to executive function. And I was going to say that earlier. There is that moment of, and it is one of the symptoms of a particular type of ADHD where you know that you have to do it and you can't start it. And that's an executive function deficiency. Oh yeah, that's interesting. It can also, to Sean's point, it can also be a trauma response that there's this freeze. Sean's point was so muddle. It was about TikTok and he was like something in someone's... I was tracking. The highly intelligent here can track to what Sean's saying. I think like the demeaning him is a way that you deflected. Thank you, Mel. You're welcome, Darryl. Well, so to the point on ADHD is super interesting. The majority of women today, because women and men and boys and girls experience ADHD at the exact same levels, but women and girls go profoundly under diagnosed because when it was discovered in the 1970s, they only study boys. And when a boy has... Oh, really? Yes. And so when a boy has... This is going to explain marriages. This is going to explain your sisters, like just buckle up because this is one of those things that every time I explain it, people go, holy fuck, that's me or that's my wife. Holy. And so here's the short backstory. So they only study boys. And when boys have ADHD, which is like a structural thing that's not working in the switching mechanism of your brain, you can focus. You just have trouble directing it at times. Yeah. So boys are a little bit more fidgety. And you kind of notice it because they're fidgety, they interrupt, they have trouble directing their focus. Girls have the opposite symptoms. They tend to daydream. They get quieter and they get harder on themselves. Now, here's what gets interesting and really life changing for people to learn. If you have undiagnosed ADHD or dyslexia or executive functioning, what happens is the primary symptom is you develop anxiety because you are sitting in a classroom or in a setting where you're being asked to do things all day long that your brain can't structurally do right now. And so anxiety develops. So there's a huge generation of women. They call us the lost generation of women that were diagnosed with anxiety in our high school and our college years and then medicated with something to quell the anxiety. But the underlying issue was always undiagnosed ADHD and dyslexia. Well, well, it's funny you say that, Mel. So I had a conversation with my own dad because I was talking. There was somebody in my family who encountered this and this is within the last three months. And I said, you know, when I was a teenager and when I was, you know, a young teenager, especially adolescent in the early 80s, I would get tested a bunch and they say, oh, he's functioning very well. We don't understand why he's not doing his work. And I was kind of labeled a bad kid. And I said, dad, you know, and this is something I'm a conversation. I had my dad at almost, I was almost 55 at the time. I'm now 55. My dad's 86. And I said, I now recognize in hearing what this doctor said, this behavior in myself. And I, and I feel like, and of course, you know, I've, you, yeah, you, what ends up happening is you either, you either get prescribed stuff. I'm sorry, but for a boy and I can't speak, but, but, or you self-medicate. Yes. And that is one of the, you know, to try to quell the symptoms. Is there, is there something one can do for attention deficit or that, that is, that is different than medication? I mean, is there something, is there, is there, is there therapy that one can go through? Well, there's all kinds, it's a great question. There's all kinds of things you can do. And I think kind of just understanding the way that your brain works or learns helps you do all kinds of things, whether there's systems for organization, there's certain types of interventions that they do with kids that really help develop and train like our son ended up. And this is how I found out at the age of 47 that I was both dyslexic and had ADHD. Wow. The same way that most women do, our kids start struggling in school like you did, Will, they get labeled a behavioral issue, you then go through all of the neuropsych evaluation testing and then you sit back and go, huh? Yeah, that's me. That's me, all of me. And I literally turned to my pediatrician and said, you know, Mark, why didn't you, like, why, do you think I have ADHD? And he's like, Mel, of course you have ADHD. You're the most ADHD parent I know. I'm like, why didn't you tell me? He's like, I'm not your doctor. Is it something that you inherit from your parents? They say it can be. They actually say that it can be impacted by what's going on when you're in utero and the stress levels of the parent or the mom. And whether or not she's under a lot of stress because it relates to your fight or flight nervous system as well. And it impacts the way it was explained to me, because again, like everything in life, it's like bad things need to happen. And then I realize, okay, I'm fucked. I got to figure this out. And then I turn it into a research project and then I try to explain what I've learned in the simplest ways. So anybody else, if I can save them the headache and the heartache that I went through for 30, 40 years, not knowing what I was really dealing with, just like you will, not knowing what you're dealing with and self-medicating and acting out and feeling, you know, hypercritical of yourself. If I can just know what this thing is that I'm not deficient, I just have a brain that works differently. And with ADHD, I would go to this, you know, when you are in college or high school and you're like, all right, I got to study. And you know, you can go to the library where you're going to see your friends or you go to the stacks. And so I would go to the stacks and I'm like, okay, I got to study. And I would sit down and I'd be ready to like lock in and honest to God, I could not for the life of me, just like what you were talking about, Will. I couldn't make myself do it and worse. It's like, I could hear the mouse pooping in the corner. I could hear my stomach. And so that mechanism that like an orchestra conductor, think about all the input of sound like an orchestra warming up. ADHD, there's this conductor in your brain that's like tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap. Okay, let's bring it all down. Now let's lift up the sound of the strings only. If you don't have that little conductor in your brain, the whole world sounds like an orchestra warming up. And you can't both direct your attention in certain instances and you can't silence other input. And that's kind of what's happening. That's fascinating. Yeah, it's super fascinating. But there's lots you can do and it don't have to do medication. Right. So to that point, half of the fixes is actually getting the diagnosis, knowing what you have. And it's your choice whether you want to medicate or not. But at least you know what it is. And you can start to search for remedy that might be different than medication or at least just start adjusting your behavior and seeing trying some different stuff on. Yeah. And having some grace for yourself. Like it drives my husband crazy that the faucets running or that my sink. I don't know what your guys's bathrooms look like, but my husband's sink looks like the sink at a Zen hotel. Mine looks like you tipped over a Walgreens aisle on top of it. Still? Oh my God, yes. Yeah, for real? Like, yeah. So is the cap off the toothpaste on you all the time? Yeah. And you have to rip that knob off. That gets JB. Come on, Mel. I can do that, yeah. Let's get it together. Yeah. Oh, you know, Mel, I learned all these tricks along the way that I would do. And I was saying to, like, telling somebody before that, that like, I have like a thing about like keys and my wallet and I don't lose. So I have like a dish and everywhere I live and everywhere I go, everything goes back in the same spot. My bathroom is very clean. And I have taught myself all these things to do these little routines that help keep me. Create order. Yeah. Create order. That's awesome. Because the mind is like this. So the order in the environment helps your mind settle. I love that. And I have a friend, I have one friend, he deals with anxiety in this way and he ends up putting, he has a bottle of Xanax and he puts it in the elevator just in case it breaks down. Well, you should actually send him this episode. He keeps a bottle in there. No, Will, you should send him this episode. You should send him this episode because the single biggest coping mechanism for anxiety is avoidance. And the more you avoid something, the bigger the anxiety gets. Because when you avoid something, you're telling yourself, I can't handle this. That's what you're doing. So five, four, three, two, one, helps. It's Sean. It's Sean. Yeah. And we will be right back. And now back to the show. Tell us how it is, let them something that is a cousin to what we're talking about or directly a part of it. It's a, again, great question. So, you know, five, four, three, two, one helps you push through all the resistance, the fear, the hesitation, the anxiety to take the action that changes everything. But I always wonder why the hell are we so resistant anyway? Well, it turns out for me anyway, and seems like for millions and millions of people that this book has resonated with, the main source of resistance and fear in our lives is our fear of other people. And the let them theory was something that I discovered. And it has fundamentally changed my life. Like I feel like I have lived my life backwards for the first 54 years because I have been consumed by making sure other people are happy by worrying about their opinions, navigating my day to day life based on people's expectations, their moods, what, you know, they want verses truly learning that there's a different way to live. And the let them theory is ultimately a modern version of stoicism, Buddhism, the serenity prayer. It's a book about control and power, what you have control over and what you do not. And two simple words, let them will free you from the exhausting cycle of trying to manage people's thoughts, their opinions, manage their expectations. There's a better way to live. Let them. What's the basic tenet? What's the basic tenet of it? Sorry. Is it let them have their judgment, let them be upset? It's none of my business. Let me just take care of number one. Well, here's yes and so there's a second part, let me, but the basic tenet will is that in life, there are only three things you can control. Only three. You can control what you think about, you can control what you do or don't do, and you can control what you do in response to your emotions. Right. And any psychologist will tell you when you focus on things you can't control and the number one thing in life that you will never be able to control is other people. What they say, what they do, what they believe, whether or not they change, whether or not they're motivated, whether or not they're anxious, whether or not they get sober. You can't control other people and yet we exhaust ourselves and waste so much time and energy allowing meaningless shit and other people's stuff to drain your most precious resource. Well, Mel, and part of that too is you also can't control, I can't, there's not enough time for me to go around and everybody I meet and tell them how they need to treat me as well. That's kind of part of it for me. That's interesting. And I was talking about this this morning with some people, I was saying, we've talked about it on here before. Part of that also for me is I, and it's people and it's things, I can't be at the effect of circumstances because I got to make my own weather in a sense. Because if I'm at the effect of circumstances, man, that's tough sledding. That is really tough sledding. Do you know what I mean? So are you talking about like if you're in your car and traffic builds up and for most people they're going to grip the wheel and get pissed off about the traffic and the truth is you can't actually control the traffic. Yeah. And so why would you allow something like that to drain your time and energy? 100%. I'll take it a step further and this is sometimes where I lose people. I'll say when there's a lot of traffic and you've come a long way and then people are trying to get in and you're like, and most people are like, fuck you, I've been waiting for a mile. I'm not going to let you in. And if you let people in, I guarantee you traffic will open up for you. It works for me every time. The more I give it away, the more I go, go ahead, go ahead. It works every time. It's the craziest thing. I don't know what to tell you. It's not just the traffic opens up, something opens up inside you. Well, that's getting to love. And then you get that works with love too. It does, but it's something else first because most of us are really selfish. And when we say let them, let them in, traffic's either going to open up or it's not. And I do believe what you believe that it does start to shift things. But what it shifts first is you recognize that your energy and your time is worth something. And when you start to value and protect your time and energy from people's expectations, people's moods, people's rude behavior, traffic, long lines, you value and have more time and energy. You become more in control and more empowered as a human being. And then everything starts to change because you're not at the effect of all the shit going on outside of you. That's right. And yes, and if I'm stingy with my attention, with my love, with my kindness, I will get stinginess from the universe in return. That is a lock for me anyway. And I think that feeling of feeling unloved is generally because I'm not pushing out enough. And that anyway, sorry. No, go ahead. Well, I didn't mean to cut you down. Sean, what was your question? No, Sean, any theater stories? Let him, Sean, let him. Go ahead. What was your question, Sean? She did give you a good one up there on stage. She didn't know how to end it. She gave you a great theater story. There's good. What do you do, Mel, as far as let them go in this world that we live in about social media and comments and people coming at you with, what's that? Nothing. What did you say? No, it just sounds great. No, it's good to say with people, like for you, I'm sure you get all kinds of comments. And I know people, other people, they get comments that they can't, they thrive on the positive comments and they lose themselves in the negative ones. So what about let them for those? And for yourself, by the way, for yourself. Well, you can never control what somebody else thinks, Sean. Right. So let them think what they're going to think. Let them not like you. Okay, fine. I just wanted to put that out there. No, I mean that because... It's what's destroying a lot of society today, people actually put weight into what people say about them and to them on social media and everywhere else. It goes even more than that, Sean, because let's just unpack this. So let's say that you are pulling out Instagram and you're about to post something and you pick a photo and you're like, oh, not that photo. And then you put the filter on it and then you go to write the caption and then you put the emoji and then you backspace and you're thinking, is this too much? Is this a, for whom? Before you even express yourself, you're already jumping into the brain of another human being and trying to anticipate what they're going to think. And here's the truth. There is nothing you can post that will actually guarantee somebody has a positive or negative thought because you can't control it. Yeah, right. And even if you could, you can't get them all. Yeah, just let them do what they're going to do. Let them unfollow me. Let them misunderstand. Let them be disappointed. Let them, let them... Where'd it go, Mel? Here come the dick pics. Yeah, here. Let them, I don't have to look at, let me decide what I'm going to look at. Here we go. I'll take them, let them. The poor interns that are now in the DMs, thanks, Wes. That's so funny. Okay, so wait, I got some good stuff here. Wait, oh, what's the most shocking coaching request you've ever received? Because you do private coaching too. Oh, I don't do any private coaching. Oh, I thought you did. I thought you did one-on-one coaching with like wealthy people. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, don't have time for that anymore. What's the most shocking request? Well, I got a request, none of them are shocking. They really aren't because when it's not you, it's easy to give people advice because you're not emotionally attached to what's happening. And if you listen closely to anybody, you can really tell what they're grappling with. And what most of us are grappling with is either the fear of disappointing somebody. Or the fear that if you do this thing, somehow people are going to judge you and you're going to end up alone. And so everything comes back down to this fear of what other people are going to think about you and how their actions dictate your value. And here's the secret. The secret is you have to like you. And you will only like yourself if you can learn how to let other people be unhappy and learn how to let people be disappointed and let people have their opinions and let me really be clear about the decisions that make me proud of myself. Because when you're proud of yourself, you kind of don't give a shit what other people are doing. Right. Okay. So for a lot of people that are fans of yours or people that read your books or whatever, you come off as this fearless, you have fearlessness and confidence. And so you must have some self-doubt about something. Every day. I was literally sitting here going, am I going to have a moment where I kind of have an accident in my pants like Jason did in the green room in Colbert? Oh, that's a great callback. Because I'm so nervous about meeting these guys. That's so great. Like I literally, yeah, well actually you and I are going to be on Jimmy Fallon on the 17th of September. And I'm sorting through your garbage to see if you've hidden underwear in there under a Diet Coke can. Get the DC out of the way, man. Oh, that's great. I can't wait to meet you. That's the same question. Like, are you enjoying that your state of confidence and sort of leaning forward into things actually creates the privilege of new anxieties as you reach and hurdle forward? You're now seeing a whole new level of complexities and challenges that are a result of you leaning forward and breaking through. In the open too, like to a broader audience. You know, I'm really grateful that all this happened later in life. I really am because, you know, when you go through an experience where you literally almost lose everything that matters to you, whether that's your marriage or your family or your home or your sanity. Or in your case, all of it, right? Yeah, all of it. Like you're very... Being a parent, I mean, that must have ratcheted it up too. Worried about the wealth of your kids. Oh my God. I can't imagine. Our kids would come downstairs at night after Chris and I had been fighting and screaming at each other and they would find us collapsed in chairs like hungover. That's how they... Like you know you're not winning at the parenting game when your kids wake you up so they can catch the bus. Yeah. Like it was not good. And so all of this that you see now, whether it's the massive scale of the podcast or the number one book, I mean this book is on track to be the most successful nonfiction book ever launched. Six million copies in six months. Amazing. Wow. That's awesome. And part of it is because I'm just reminding you guys of what you know to be true. Ectoicism is not a new idea. Victor Frankel, man's search for meaning. What's happening out there is not where the power is. Your power is in your response to it. But these are all intellectual ideas. What I love about saying let them and then let me, which is let them is where you release the control over something you can't control and let me is where you take the power back and focus on what you can control, which is your response to what's happening. This is the tool, but it reminds people of what they know to be true since the beginning of time. And what I'm grateful for is that having almost lost everything I care about and having just clawed my way out of debt and built this just brick by brick over the last 16 years, I have stayed laser focus on what really matters. I live in the middle of nowhere in Vermont. I have no interest in the bigness aspect of all of it because you guys know the second something hits, everybody thinks they know what you should do next. Everybody sees something bigger for you. I would like more time with my husband and my kids. I would like to enjoy some of this success, meaning I'm not actually working all the time. And so for me, I think the anxiety or the issues that I face is more around just saying no and letting people have their expectations about what the podcast should become or what I should do next and staying laser focused, not on up here, but on what's right in front of me right now. Because if you lose sight of what got you to where you are, you basically blow up everything you created. And so I am staying very focused on waking up every day and just making decisions that make me feel proud of myself and doing the best that I can and giving people a little bit of grace and focusing on what I can control and what I can't. And then the rest will take care of itself. I love that. What's the single thing that people think will make them happy, but won't? In your opinion. I think the single thing that people think will make them happy that doesn't is achieving the thing. There's so much research that when you get the million dollars, you're going to be happy. When you win the race, when you get the person, it's the pursuit of it. Everybody needs something that gets you out of bed. Everybody needs something that you're excited about, whether it's video games or it's bird watching or it's volunteering. If you don't have something that you're pursuing that's bigger than you, then you're always going to be stuck in that sort of survival autopilot same old, same old. You got to give yourself an opportunity to get proud of yourself, as you said earlier. That's usually a pursuit of something. But I think that for me, I would imagine, I would suggest that part of that is a spiritual experience. Very much so. And I think that that's the true, it's funny, I was watching a sort of... Love Island? Yeah, have you seen it? It's the episode you're on, Jason. No, it was the sort of a few days leading up to the open, the British Open the Gulf. And Scotty Scheffler gave this press conference that I found to be fascinating. And he's being asked all these questions, you world number one. He has been dominating golf for the last couple of years and he gave this answer and the room was silent. And he sort of said, part of me thinks I spent all my life to win these tournaments, to win this tournament, the Byron Nelson in my hometown to have a few minutes of like, yeah, and then I realized what's the point. And he went on from there and I found it absolutely fascinating. And I go, here is a guy who is at this crossroads and he's having this deep and almost spiritual experience where he's realizing that there's got to be... He's looking for perspective. He's gaining it and he's looking for more. You know, our buddy Rob Meter all those jokes. Perspective is a really hard thing to get if you don't have it. And hearing this guy who's at the top, I mean, the millions of dollars. He's basically saying like, now what? Well, yeah. And he's saying, and why? And he actually said a few times, JB, he said, what's the point? And honestly, it was chilling, almost, listening to him. And he wasn't poor me and he was very happy for all the success and he was very grateful, rather. And yet at the same time, he could see that he was struggling with that idea and there's something really, really fascinating about that to me. Mel, this has been a blast. You are brilliant. We've taken away too much of your time. Brilliant, brilliant. And look, you have a whole studio behind you and you stopped to talk to us about it. Yes, above my garage in Vermont. And this is so cool. That's this one. We got to have you guys always come to Boston. Although you don't go anywhere. We got you guys do stuff. If you ever want it, you have an open invitation to the Mel Robbins podcast. Thank you. That's so nice. I mean it. I'd love to have you on. Pick you apart on live camera. This would be amazing. No, I'm just kidding. No, I do. I'm really looking forward to meeting you on the 17th. That'll be awesome. I'm looking forward to meeting you too. Thank you, Sean, for selecting me. I literally was so moved and I can tell you the cheese ball thing now because I hate it when people come on and gush and fan. But you caused so many problems in my marriage, you guys, because when I first started listening to you like everybody did, I would come home because I was so jealous of your friend group. And I thought, why are my friends boring? And I would come home to my husband and be like, you need to start picking on me. We're not interesting enough. And it turns out picking on your spouse is not a great thing for a marriage. You got to let them be who they are. It's our love language. It's our love language. I love that. And thank you for allowing us as your listeners to feel like we are part of this friend group because to have a friend group where you can really see that you guys love each other deeply and still jab at each other, it is a very rare thing. And it's a gift to experience it in our lives to listen to you guys that way. So thank you for welcoming us in. Thank you for saying that. And truly, truly thank you for coming on this podcast. It's so illuminating listening to you talk. I know. I wish there was just two hours. I feel like I've learned a lot. I know, right? I don't know. Well, maybe we can open up those private sessions. I know. Yeah. I'm going to DM you for a one-on-one. Just a dick pic, okay? Yeah. Just a dick pic. You'll know who it's from. That's for sure. Thanks, Mel. I appreciate it. Thank you, Mel. Thank you, Mel. Thanks, guys. See you soon. See you later. Bye. Bye. What a pleasure. That was awesome. I literally was just talking about her the other day. That's amazing. Yeah, she's been on my list for like a couple of years now. But she, you know, over six million copies in that book. I was going to say that. Let them. I mean, it's amazing. It's also amazing when people like her or for, you know, another example would be Oprah, these people who lend their brains, you know, to the masses for what they've learned or discovered and they pass it on to other people, hopefully hoping they can help other people too. I love that kind of stuff. Kind of like if I can do it, you can do it kind of thing. Yeah. I think that she's, as a result of her own personal circumstance, you know, and touching bottom as she was saying, you know, and developing these coping skills out of necessity and desperation, that she found herself with a vehicle to share all of that knowledge and enlightenment with so many millions of people and obviously has helped and so many folks. What a great use of your life, right? We're all going to look back when we're old and gray and did we use our years right? And what a great success. And you listen to her talking. It's kind of like, oh, yeah, well, that makes, how did I not know that? It's like all common sense, basically. Yeah, well, oftentimes. You know, we just need to be told. Yeah. I mean, I think we all have some coping skills in us that, but maybe they're just sort of dormant until you hear somebody put them to words and you go, oh, somebody just articulated what I kind of feel in me, but didn't know if I was allowed to kind of use it. And somebody kind of puts it into words and puts it in somewhat of a scientific form. You're like, oh, great. Yeah, let's use that. Yeah, for sure. For sure. Um, guys, can I share some British words I've learned while I'm here? Uh, sure. I guess so. I mean, how much of a choice do we have? Not much. It's going to take 30 seconds. So we have a dad joke before, before you get into your by section. Very well. Yeah. Oh, well, I think we've got a book listener. It just don't, don't rifle through. Just stick your finger on a certain page. Yeah. Here it comes. A good elevator joke works on so many levels. Great. Love it. Love it. Love it. Thank you. And into a by section now. And now I'm pre. Speaking of that, I just, these are the three things I've heard. You take the lift, I'll take the apples and pears. I didn't know apples and pears meant stairs. That's, that's cockney, right? It's cockney. Yeah. The way they do that. I don't know. And then if somebody calls you, give me a call on my dog and bone. I got a call on my dog and bone. I didn't know phone was dog and bone. You're saying five words instead of one. I don't really get it, but go ahead. And then the last one, somebody brought in, this is, this is a true story. Somebody brought in bagels the other day for rehearsal for a good night. I can't wait. Look who's back. Just tell the man. Just when you thought he went away. He's back. Look who's back. Anyway, so he brought these bagels from a store and this is the truth. And the name, the way they spelled bagel was B E I G E L. And that's the, that was the brand name. Huh. And how would you pronounce that? I guess. I think it's, yeah, I think it pronounced it. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Would you like a dozen bagels? No. Would you like a bagel? Would you like bagel? Smart. Blast. Smart. Blast. SmartLess is 100% organic and artisanly handcrafted by Bennett Barbaco. Michael Grant Terry and Rob Armjurf. SmartLess.