How Did Nick Get Played: Senran Kagura Burst Re:Newal

This is a headgum podcast. Guys, great news, great news. The game that we have just published, Sanran Kagura, is doing really surprisingly well at retail and online sales are pretty robust. So I think we're in the clear. I think this company is going to turn a profit. I've got some worried looks, though, at the table here. I don't know. Maybe you didn't hear me. No, it's great that it's selling great. Yeah, it's selling pretty good. What do you want to hear? Pretty good. It's not number one. It's not last. It's nice. No, but it's not enough. We're absolutely fucked. We're eating shit on this one right now. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you talking about? What are you talking about? I have a lot riding on this. What do you mean? I mean, it's first off. I put points against my house. You what? I put points on the back end of this game against my house. We have to hit a certain threshold monetarily or else we're fucking fucked on this, OK? We spent a lot of money on this game. We have to make it all back right. I've got to say goodbye to my fucking house. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. OK, first off, maybe this is a relt. Maybe you come from a smaller publisher. You know, I'm not really familiar with your resume. But this was not a triple A game. No. Like, we didn't need to spend a lot of money. I've looked at the asset list and, you know, you have some pretty basic textures. You only got like six character models. I think we're going to be OK. No, you don't fucking get it, do you? Have you seen the jiggle physics in the game? We put it all in the jiggle physics. I'm sorry, you what? You put what? We put it all. What is it and what is all? The money, all the money. You spent, can I? OK, let me look at, let me look at some of these numbers. Hold on, hold on, because we're, again, I'm, I, I, let me say this, let me say this, let me say this. I did notice the jiggle physics. I thought they were pretty good. I thought they were pretty good. Pretty good. That's all pretty good. I didn't spend, I didn't spend half a fucking trillion dollars on jiggle physics. You spent what? You spent what? All the money. You don't understand. 500 billion dollars on the jiggle physics for our 3DS game? I told you the money's on the screen and it had to pop off the screen in 3D. On the screen there is no, like the most expensive game in history, I think, was 400 million dollars. Maybe, maybe, maybe. Did you see the jiggle physics in those games? I didn't think so. There was no jiggle physics in those games. Exactly, that shit costs money. 500 billion dollars. Oh my god, I'm looking at our spreadsheet. We are in the red, so red that we're in the black. The fuck were you thinking? It's gone so negative it went all the way back around the positive. All right, all right, we gotta figure out, we gotta figure out how to make money. We're gonna have to make DLC. We're gonna have to make like, we're gonna have to make like outfits or something. We're gonna have to charge 99 cents. What do you mean you can't? You can't. What are you talking about? We already put so many fucking outfits in the game. There's no other new outfits we could put. You put outfits in the game? Yeah. You highlight the jiggle physics? To highlight them to put good about grand display. Oh my god. And you're probably thinking there's probably only one cut of underwear in there. There's multiple cuts. What are you talking about? Smaller, less. You put that in the game free so we can't even charge for anything? We put it in for free. Fuck, oh god, we put it in for free. All right, all right, I got a plan. I've got a plan. We're gonna reuse these assets for 20 years. We're gonna make so many Senran Kagura games that will make back the money event. Eventually. I got to tell you something. What are you talking about? What do you have to tell me? We're making these games for the rest of our fucking life to get out of the hole that we dug. And anybody could have stopped me at any time, by the way. I didn't have to put all the money in the jiggle physics, but I just kind of went nuts with it. Went a little crazy with it. I just could see how far I could go. Anybody could stop me. Nobody said a goddamn word. Now I'm some fucking pervert for putting all the money, some idiot pervert for putting all the money in the jiggle physics. Nobody fucking stopped me. I don't know how many fucking people work here. I could have got stopped any goddamn time. I'll tell you what, after this meeting, the only people who work here is gonna be you and me because I have to fire everybody else in the entire building. Let me take a look at these physics. Oh yeah. Yeah, it's actually not so bad now. When you put it like that. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. We hack and slash and boyonoyoyoyoying as we play Sendren Kagura, Nick's favorite game on this week's Get Played. Welcome to Get Played, your one stop show for good games, bad games, and every game in between. It's time to get played. I'm your host, Heather Ann Campbell, along with my fellow host, Matt Apadokka. Hello everyone. Hello everyone and welcome back to the premiere video game podcast where this week, I'm gonna We are short one host. That's right. We're short one host, but he has left his mark on the show today. I have an email here that I would like to read from him. It says, hey guys, sorry I'm gonna miss the show. But as a little treat, I would love you to play my favorite game of all time. And then he provided us all with paid links. He bought us all this game. That's a real salute and a shout out to our third host who couldn't be with us today. And he's got it like that. What, money? Yeah. He's got the bag? He's got the bag. He's kind of, he's loaded with cheddar, bread, etc. Yeah. And he's able to sort of gift us a game. Yeah. That's true. The truth is, I had not heard of this game before Nick went on and on. I mean, I could read the whole text thread. The email is really long. Yeah. He was going on and on and on to the text thread too. And he was replying to his own text. So it was kind of getting lost in the sauce. He seems to have sort of an extensive knowledge of this game that we're covering today. And hey, I'm sure we'll have thoughts about it too. Because that's the kind of podcast we do. It would be funny if we shared none of our thoughts. We played it and we just went, we played it. And that's it. And then just kind of sit silently. We played it. And a little behind the curtain here. Alternately, the take for this episode could have been. Yeah. We really wanted Nick to feel bad that he missed the show. Yes. And so we played a game that we knew he loved. Yes. Or would love. And then we played it without him. Yeah. But the fact of the matter is, that's not what we did. And actually, we did just decide. Because you know what? He also, he left like an audio note and it sounded like he was about to cry. He had tears. You can sort of hear the tears sort of like welling up and your throat gets really dry. Yeah. Like the moisture from your throat has to go somewhere and I think it comes out of your tears. Which is also saying a lot because as far as I know, the last time he cried was canonically 16 years ago or something like that. I think so. Something like that. Yeah. Long, long time ago. Yeah. Not in the recent, you know, not in the rear view mirror as it were. It's when he slid down a banister like a spy and then hit himself in the balls on the part at the end. Yeah. Yeah. And he cried because it didn't hurt enough. He wanted it to hurt more and it didn't hurt. So he started crying. Yeah. He's like, I thought that would hurt. Yeah. Yeah. The direct quote from the transcript. Yeah. Yeah. But anyway, Nick's not here. He's on assignment. I like that a direct quote from the transcript implies that Nick has a black box. Like a constant voice recorder going. I think for someone like Nick, you need proof of what you've said and what you haven't said. Yeah. So he's on assignment. Look, he's on a Doughboyz tour. Okay. Doughboyz tour is in my hometown of Chicago. It was frustrated by the restaurants they chose to cover. But you know, they've been to Chicago before. They've covered some of my faves. Yeah. I just wanted to see him get in the grit. I know they posted this on the Doughboyz social media, but I feel like we got to talk about it. What? Nick spilled on a plane that wasn't moving. It wasn't in the air. Nothing was going on. What it appears to have happened is he put his coffee on the floor and then stepped into his own aisle. He, yeah, I can't, you know what? That's interesting. We'll have to ask him about this, exactly how it happened. Because my interpretation, he said that it fell and it landed like just completely face down, like, or, you know, top down. Fell from where? Well, this is the thing, isn't it? Somewhere responsible, right? I could imagine it on the arm of the airplane. You know, he was probably in business class. So he had his own little arm. Yeah. Probably like, I'll just put it here real quick. Fucking, yeah, probably hip checked it. Yep. Sent it flying. What also bothers me about it is the thought that I realized upon seeing this spill. Yeah. That the floor of airplanes is just spills. Yeah. Yeah. Like, and it has never been wet-vacked. No, it's probably the worst place on earth the floor of airplanes. It's probably fucking disgusting. Yeah, yeah. The coffee probably burned off some of the net. He probably actually did it as a service and we're thinking about it. I've also heard that they don't clean their coffee pots very often. That you should never order coffee on an airplane. Well, don't order anything that requires dishes to be made. No, that's tough. That is tough. I would go for, you know what? I would go for a tea. Okay. Even though we're getting, you know, microplastics in the tea bags or whatever. Yep, yep. It feels like a safer bet. We're just burrowing into our own brains with plastic. I think Nick should have been duct taped to his chair like the people who couldn't remember how to behave on airplanes after COVID. He should have been restrained so he couldn't spill further. They opened the plain door and just fucking the shining style like liquid just pours out of it. Down the fucking inflatable slide. It's not a water landing, but it's classified as one because of all the liquid. We miss Nick. We do. It feels like an empty chair in more ways than one. That's right. Well, in the main way, that nobody's sitting in it. Yeah. That's mostly how it's empty. Yeah. We've done this though before. We've had an okay time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd say, wait, I better turn the other one next. I would say it's less antagonism. Yeah, yes, because it's now, because here's the real thing. I can get away with stuff when Nick's here. Well, when it's just one-on-one, I got to fall in line. I got to show a little respect. Well, I feel like you can take shots. Take shots. I can take shots. Apadokka, I'm giving you emotional permission to ruin my life. I don't got anything right now. Okay, great. Great. But who knows? Stay on target. I'll stay on target. Maybe you'll have a green ring around you. At some point, and I'll have to press a button and get an aerial, a ninja aerial attack on you later on. Okay, okay. Something from the game. Yeah, yeah, okay. Okay, green ring, green ring. I forgot, I have so much to say about the combat system in this game. If we get to that, can't wait to hear what it is. There's a lot to discuss, I think about. Well, there's a lot to discuss. I feel like the game is thin, but not really. There's a lot going on. Let's save it for the talk. We'll save it for the talk. We'll save it for the talk. We're going to talk about that stuff. We're going to talk about the game. Senran Kagura, Burst. What's the other subtitle? Renewal. But it's R-E, colon, Newell. And Newell is not a word. Like Newell was the memo that you got from your boss. And he wrote back, Renewal. This is about the Newell. That's right. Yeah. Senran Kagura, Burst, R-E, colon, Newell. Yes. It's... Maybe at first time Ranch has heard the name of the game we're covering. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nick's favorite game of all time, after Baldur's Gate 3. Yeah, he said after Baldur's Gate 3. Like, I'm not going to throw him under the butt. Like, not only... Baldur's Gate's always going to be his favorite. He tried to talk himself into it, though. He was like, I think I might like it more than Baldur's Gate 3. And we had to be like, you actually, you just don't. You just kind of don't. We know that you don't. Yeah. You start to cry again. Yeah. Ranch, have you ever heard of this game? Never. You've never heard of Senran Kagura, Burst, R-E, colon, Newell? I've never heard of Sen-Gura. There you go. Burst, R-E, Newell. So, would you be surprised to know it's a franchise? There's multiple... Many games. I think Sub 15, but more than 10. An enormous section on the PlayStation Store dedicated to purchasable add-ons to these games. Like, scrollable for multiple pages. We're going to talk about it. We'll talk about it. We're going to talk about it here on the premiere video game podcast. You're listening to me to get played. I really do. The fabrics feel elevated, the fits are thoughtful, and the pricing actually makes sense. Quince makes high-quality everyday essentials using premium materials like 100% European linen and their insanely soft flow-knit active wear fabric. Their men's linen pants and shirts are lightweight, breathable, and comfortable. Basically, the perfect layer for spring. 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Look at your phone bill and then come talk to me. I'm gonna switch. I'm tired of this. They can't do this anymore. They can't do that. The quality of the service is great. And look, who doesn't like saving money? You'd be a fool not to. If you like your money, Mint Mobile is for you. Shop plans at mintmobile.com slash get played. That's mintmobile.com slash get played. Upfront payment of 45 dollars for 3 month 5 gigabyte plan required, equivalent to 15 dollars per month. New customer offer for first 3 months only. Then full price land options available. Taxes and fees extra. See Mint Mobile for details. I gotta address a news item from today. Oh, I love to hear it. Didi didi didi didi didi didi. Breaking news. It's not funny news. It's not good news. Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum. We got the full one. You be soft. Ubisoft. How we saying this? Ubisoft. I heard about this, Matt. But I'm gonna let you deliver the news to our listeners. They cancelled 5 games that were in active development and they also, one of which was The Prince of Persia Sands of Time Remake. Oof! A bullet to your heart. A bullet to my heart. One of my favorite games recently did not have a full name. I'm gonna call it a day. I'm gonna call it a day. I'm gonna call it a day. I'm gonna call it a day. I'm gonna call it a day. One of my favorite games recently kicked off the list of my favorite games. But it's in the... It's in... It's part of it. It's like a dugout. Anything that, yeah, exactly. It's on the bench. Yeah, it's on the bench. It's ready to go. It's not a starting player. It's time to play. But instead, Ubisoft knifed your liver. Yeah, they sort of knifed my liver with the time dagger and went all the way back to when they decided they weren't gonna do that. Yeah. And it kind of sucks. I mean, the thing about it was they announced it in 2020. Yeah. And they were like, it's gonna be ready just top of next year, top of 2021. Mm-hmm. And I think you have delayed it so many times. I am almost like there's no way they were ever gonna make... You kind of... I don't know how these things work internally. It seemed like they were making it and that I had read something today that somebody recently who was working on the project had learned that it was gonna be... They were gonna like get it to March, I think of next year or something and then just canceled it completely. Yeah. Just out from under them. And it sucks. It sucks because I mean, I don't know the internal structures of how these things work. I don't know if people are like losing their jobs over this or anything like that or if they're just like moving on to another project. But it sounds like there's gonna be a restructuring of some kind over there. And, you know, my heart goes out to everybody that was working on that. We are not a news podcast. No. So what I'm gonna say next is baseless Yeah. should be treated as the rumors spoken by an idiot inside of a cardboard box. Picture Heather wearing a dunce cap. Yeah. And the dunce says listen but it's spelled L-I-S-S-A-N Yeah. Yeah. Listen. Yeah. Yeah. Like Nissan but with an L. I wonder if the real wet flop of the latest Assassin's Creed game affected Ubisoft's overall positioning because it feels like the Assassin's Creed shadows. Yeah. It feels like that game came and went without any like even the lightest gamer cultural footprints. Yeah. I mean because we played it a little bit. I liked I liked it to a point. Yeah. It didn't grab me the way Ghost of Yote did Yeah. for example. In recent times has been that the port on Switch 2 is incredible. Oh. And that it looks amazing and they can't actually believe same thing with Outlaws another Ubisoft game. Yeah. They're like it's the fact that these games look this good on a Switch 2 is insane. And I don't know what they've done to do that. I don't know what they are you know how they accomplish such a thing but it is interesting that it's I mean what was the last big Ubisoft what was the last Assassin's Creed game that like really was like I guess it probably was Valhalla right like I don't know if Valhalla was big everywhere else. I mean certainly was big to you room and then this podcast yeah but I don't know that Valhalla was like maybe it was a big hit I don't know I don't know when we could look this up we could be make would be sort of like on it with the sort of like looking it up be like closing porn tab opening new ones find out what the most recent trying not to cry most recent tabs how do you even how do you even look this up Ubisoft hit yeah I feel like it like shadows must have sold well but maybe it's just like nobody cares about it in the same way that like people cared about Ghost of Yote because it's like you know obviously similar in um you know obviously similar in um similar in scope similar in uh sort of genre I guess you could call it um but Yote was the one that was nominated for awards and shadows was not well here's here's uh and again this is just Reddit this is just a discussion on Reddit but there is a Reddit thread and it is in your opinion what was Ubisoft's last good game before they started to decline you know it's pretty similar to what we're talking about yes and the top uh comment with only 14 upvotes so again not gospel was I liked Origins, Odyssey and Valhalla but I think they started to fall when Watch Dogs was revealed to be a scam and nothing like the trailers showed I remember that huge controversy oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah because uh because when Watch Dogs was trailed it looked futuristic it was like oh my god this is a true next generation game they're doing stuff that I like particle physics and car collisions and hackable everybody in the whole world is hackable and has their own backstory hack the planet hack the planet and none of that was really implemented no uh I feel like yeah those first Assassin's Creed's well those first Assassin's Creed's came right after the the Prince of Persia like trilogy of games right and then they tried to do another one and then Assassin's Creed one I feel like people didn't really care about the first one right then they did the second the second one is probably when people start to lock in they're like hey this shit's kind of good uh and then through Black Flag I think is when people were like these games are really really great yes and then it wasn't until uh like Odyssey and Valhalla that where people were like okay like these are these are still good you know these are still great uh you know I hope I hope it doesn't mean that they're trying to like you know restructure like sell off parts of the company for parts because I feel like there's a lot of talent in the in those teams because the games that they make like there's nothing there's nothing wrong with shadows do you know what I mean it's like not a perfect game by any means but it's not bad or uh on interesting and it plays awesome the story I felt like was really cool like there's it just you know at a certain point with Assassin's Creed games you're either in for what you're in for or you're in for 200 hours right and you're just I'm just not gonna do that right can't I can't right I love Pandora and the world of Avatar yeah I'm not even up for 200 hours of that no no no no let alone uh uh a slightly tepid ninja release what if you could what if they could play what if you could play as Varong and just like destroy the opening area it would be great just burn down Pandora like you can like run her around the menu screen and destroy the menu screen it has this is like not what this is for a different discussion what's this what are we talking about is it time for Varong talk when you get when you introduce a character like Varong in the third movie yeah you're kind of like what she'd been up to this whole time she kind of tells you what the what the situation is why she's doing it don't you want to see it a little bit well I saw you know I saw it a second time this last weekend yeah um and listeners this is a pro avatar podcast that's right um I saw it a second time this weekend and um I saw it with a friend a writer friend uh who had dismissed was it William Shakespeare the entire franchise William Jefferson Shakespeare hahahaha hahahaha uh but uh he was like isn't it funny that you guys kind of have this you had the same job hahahaha that's funny like Jesus you know what I mean it's like weird to think about yeah you guys did the same thing yeah we're just trying to entertain people with little little stories look at my little stories little dialogues yeah sometimes little jokes Christ yeah um but uh so I went with a friend who had initially dismissed the avatar franchise and after what has it been 15 fucking years of me being like these these movies are good he finally decided to watch all of them this week yeah and uh we went to see the third one in theaters and he was like these movies are good they're good and I was like yeah dude they're good um you kind of just have to like submit yeah you can't be it's not a film for criticism no it's a film for just dumb fun I made like we were on this a couple years ago my wife had not seen the first one and Way of Water was about to come out and I was gonna try to convince her to maybe go see Way of Water with me but she hadn't seen the first one yeah and I sort of knew she wasn't gonna watch it if we put it on at the house right I waited until we were on an international flight to Italy and I was like hey this is not the most ideal screening location right but you have nothing else to do but watch a three hour movie yeah at the end of this movie she goes that was fucking awesome and I was like yeah it's awesome it's good stuff has she expressed interest in the other two? absolutely not I'm waiting for the right flight it's gonna happen she's gonna see these movies if I hook her by crook uh I'm glad this friend of yours uh turned turned around my wife on the other hand yeah um she slapped through most of the third one yes and she was very tired yeah she was very tired works very hard um but also came went into it with the attitude of these films are weird yeah these are weird that's acceptable and I said to her you wept in way of water yeah and she went I did and I went yeah you cried about the whale a lot yeah yeah and she was like oh I remember the whale yeah so also there's something about like being in those 3D spaces where you kind of also don't make memories the right way or something yeah and it's because they're not like yeah they're not real in any way but it's so funny and I feel like we said this on the DLC and we'll get to what we're going to talk about in just a second I don't care it's so funny to me that these movies are like you know there's these this race of these blue sort of cat like aliens and they're in they got their whole thing going on they're trying to stop colonization on their planet and they're you know trying to keep their resources trying to keep it just keep it keep it how they have been doing it there's also this whole other whale thing that is so interesting and it's like separate and also not like it's like they like I would watch I would watch a Tolkien movie I would see the whole thing with just them the sea story the sea story in an avatar film is by the way whales have culture they wear jewelry and clothes and there's a council of them that can exile you yeah if they think you're bad and they have like yearly meetings yeah and they stand up right again I just made on contact with Ranch who I guess didn't know this about the avatar films she was looking at me like what we were saying is insane there's whale culture in the avatar films I was thinking about the whale on SpongeBob Mr. Krabs' daughter yeah cause she wears clothes and jewelry it's kinda like her they're also cheerleaders what is her name? Pearl Pearl wow did you know that? I have never seen an episode of SpongeBob I got one recommendation for you one recommendation for you at home I've mentioned it on the show before watch SpongeBob the episode with DoodleBob well I mean honestly any of the ones from the early runner good DoodleBob I think maybe perhaps to a lot of millennials the funniest 23 minutes you've ever seen your goddamn life okay really funny just good stuff I got yelled at on a studio tour this last week because I you started trying to give the tour? well no we passed a famous person and I didn't know who it was oh and everybody on the tour was so angry at me and they were like you've never seen the pit and I was like no and they're like but you've seen ER and I went no I've never seen ER got it and then they were like just really narrowed it down to who it could be and then they were like they were like well what have you seen? and I was like I don't know and one goes have you seen Friends? and I went no I've only seen one episode of Friends and it was when during the pandemic my wife was like you need to watch Friends we watched one episode and she went oh maybe this show's not very good I got a couple of Friends recommendations too I've seen every episode of that show and I think there you know for what it does I think it's great I think if you well some of it has an age grade yeah because it was the 90s yeah it was the 90s there's an episode of Ross can't get his pants back up because their leather and his legs are all sweaty and it's one of the funniest physical performances I've ever seen in my life I've seen I've seen the clip where they're yelling about getting a couch up a flight of stairs this is like well Schwimmer's goaded he's just so good very famous thing where he's screaming pivot pivot yeah and they can't they can't they can't even film it because they're laughing so hard at him because he's just he's unbelievable on that show they're all great yeah ranch let me ask you something about the whales and avatar real quick and I know you don't know the answer to this so it's kind of like a just trying to gauge what you think about this when the whales have their meeting and they're talking you're probably thinking they just kind of get out of the water a little bit right like how a whale would kind of come up for water is probably what you're picturing sure and wrong they stand fully upright out of the water like monoliths do they have a way I don't know they're swimming so hard underneath that they can get like this much of their body and be completely still basically yeah so they're just like kind of like standing like this and talking are they speaking English no but they're subtitled they're subtitled are they making noise yes and the noise is very cool visually also because when they're making noise the water you know like when you put a cup of water on a speaker it'll like make rings and stuff yeah like especially when a transverse Rex is walking toward it yeah so the way that they speak makes rings that like hold stationary in like locked positions on the surface of the water it's really neat wow there's a lot of weird things he's fucking this guy's this guy James Cameron it's got a lot going on good stuff I saw a director John Table with him and Catherine Bigelow being really nice to each other and I was like I love that that's great they got it they had a messy divorce well he also in other interviews has talked about he's like you know Catherine directed an incredible film always a fan like he never speaks badly of any of his x y's no and there are many and there are a lot of them because he's apparently not a good guy this guy's kind of direct his damn marriage and he can't do it can't do it but hasn't he been married to the granddaughter from Titanic since Titanic? that's 25 years what? isn't that who he's married to now? I don't know the one who plays Rose's granddaughter what? isn't that true? Rancher are you doing truth are you truth.coming? this? is that wait is that truth social? yeah it's called truth.com and type in is this true? what website do you think it is? yeah she was in Titanic yeah she's a granddaughter yes yes yes so she plays the granddaughter of Rose in the movie yeah and now they're married yeah they have been married I thought you were first of all for one second forgot that it's a fake story I thought he married the real Rose's granddaughter and I was like what the fuck I was so confused he's got to get the story right yeah and there's only one way to get it right I have to get the details inside the story yeah that can only come from a relative the only way it can do that is by falling in love and becoming married so funny yeah anyway that's enough that's enough Verrong talk because we're not here this is believe it or not this is not the premier Verrong podcast it also kind of is it is it definitely nobody's talking about Verrong like we are nobody is nobody did you see that fan cam thing I sent you that was like the ad that's just Verrong footage I haven't watched it yet cause I'm planning to pull it up on my TV when I get home dude and stand in front of it dude it's so good it's such a good edit I like that they've fuck it I'm just going to show it to you right now pull it up they I like that they've leaned into this heart I just I don't even care about the show anymore that's not even true that's not true no I don't care about the show that we're doing oh well today more important to me is that I see the Verrong fan cam is that you see the Verrong fan cam okay ready here we go she's a mean lady okay it's got good music too hold on I'm just going to start it over with oh my god okay this is unbelievable they like know she's hot it's so funny do you think this was like a move they did on purpose like do you think James Cameron was like in the room not in the room like he's has a writer's room this is all his brain do you think like when he pitched the third one he's like and there's a hot one by the way by the way there's one that's going to make people fucking insane the edit there where she's walking and they cut to the flash bulbs yeah made it look like she was a real world celebrity also insane it's so good are they wrong if they don't make the fourth one I'll be bummed but if she doesn't have like fully an hour of that film dedicated to her of the three and a half that's probably going to come out yes when I saw it again this weekend the things I noticed this is how this all started one they live in their burnt out tree yes which I didn't catch the first time I thought it was just rocks but they live in their burnt out tree so like there is nice visual it's a very video game environmental storytelling moment yes what was the other thing I was going to say they live in their burnt out tree oh and realizing that for a full 20 minutes of that film they just abandon the protagonist yeah just so you can hang out with Ron and here's what we got going on over here like fully just as if Jake Sully's not even the star of the show anymore and he's kind of not he takes a back seat in this one yeah he does it's more of a family movie it's more of a family movie than the last Fast and Furious movie I'd say yeah and fast means family I would have loved to see no Wiley in person who? the person that you didn't know who it was you're not watching the pit? no you gotta watch the pit I don't watch stuff I watch anime only the pit is kind of like anime I watch anime only it's true the pit is kind of like anime okay there's some characters in the new in the season in the first season mm-hmm it's their first day being doctors but they're not even called doctors yet right okay all this crazy shit happens at the end of the day they had a sort of a shounen arc because they're like nervous things keep fucking up keep happening to them and the day keeps getting crazier and crazier by the end of the day they're just sort of like guess I'll see you tomorrow and it's like it's good stuff it's nasty too that's what I've heard it's fucking nasty I've heard it's a gross show it's really gross my wife sees stuff like this all the time she's not fazed by it I'm watching this show I'm yelling yuck yuck constantly ew yuck and then she just like makes fun of me that I can never she's like you can never work in a hospital you'd be throwing up everywhere yeah I can't I can barely walk into a hospital run alone work in it no no no yeah it's bad stuff happens there yeah nasty stuff nasty business poop mixed with blood poop mixed with blood pee mixed with blood pee mixed with poop yeah insides where the insides where the on the outsides outside on the well yeah all of it all of it all the different combinations but we're not here to talk about that no we're not and we're not here to talk about Varang but if she comes up again I'll go and speak with her yep Ola buddy one in five Americans have learned a new language on their bucket list if that's you make 2025 the year you finally check it off with Babble the language app that makes grammar and language and language with Babble the language app that makes grammar fun is actually worth your precious time learning in the language with Babble is all about small steps big wins and progress you can actually track and feel their bite-sized lessons fit easily into your daily routine and are also easy to remember just ten minutes a day is enough to start seeing real results how many minutes of podcast ads did you listen to today? my guess is more than ten imagine if those ten minutes were spent not just listening to ads about Babble and other fine products and services but using Babble to finally learn that new language and check it off your bucket list you can die satisfied Babble lets you practice real-life conversations step-by-step without the stress you'll build the confidence to speak up when it matters from ordering a coffee to chatting with new friends abroad and Babble has more than just lessons they even offer a large collection of podcasts where Babble experts reveal language secrets and offer an inside look at local cultures you know I mentioned on the podcast before that I've been using Babble I have as a tool helped me learn and brush up honestly more brush up than learn I knew some but you know I'm rusty I'm rusty like an old car been reigning I'm not rust-proofed now I'm looking like I've seen better days because I have I've lived a lot of years and you know what happens when you live a long time you start to forget things you once knew that's me with the Spanish language skills I learned in high school but now once again I am speaking espanol that's Spanish in Spanish and a big part of it is thanks to my time with Babble however you learn best by listening, speaking, reading or writing Babble adapts to your style and keeps you motivated with personalized learning plans real-time feedback and progress tracking make fast-lasting progress with Babble a science-backed language learning app that actually works Babble has over 25 million subscriptions sold worldwide and with 14 languages to choose from every course comes with a 14-day money-back guarantee one day for each language how about that? think it's a coincidence? here's a special limited time deal for our listeners right now get up to 60% off your Babble subscription at babble.com forward slash played get up to 60% off at babble.com forward slash played spelled B-A-B-B-E-L dot com forward slash played rules and restrictions may apply hey buddy you know what I love? content can't get enough of this stuff but here's the thing we have these things called borders and those borders lead to legal restrictions on what's accessible in your territory well you know what? I say break down those borders we're all one people who enjoy content and one way I do it is with NordVPN if there are TV shows film, anime that aren't available in your region you can switch your virtual location to a country that's showing it and if you're traveling abroad which I did for the first time recently you can access all your streaming services back home I get my NBA fix just because I'm on another continent I'm talking about Japan I've been thinking about getting more into geography honestly because I find it fascinating and I'm surprised by how much I don't know about this world the swirling blue marble we all share again we're all just one people and one way you can unify is by switching your virtual location with NordVPN which can also allow you to save money by purchasing flights and hotels from other countries at a cheaper price NordVPN can also act as an invisibility cloak how's that gamers? for your IP address protecting your privacy online and leaving no digital footprint especially when you're traveling and using public Wi-Fi as I often am I'm often on public Wi-Fi NordVPN protects you wherever you are in the world it's super fast no buffering wills streaming and it stops your ISP bandwidth throttling and you can use one account on up to 10 devices how do you have 10 devices? premium cybersecurity for the price of a cup of coffee per month to get the best discount off your NordVPN plan go to NordVPN.com our link will also give you four extra months on the two-year plan there's no risk with Nord's 30-day money-back guarantee the link is in the podcast episode description box this is a video game podcast it is a video game podcast and we've teased what we're going to talk about but that's not even what we're doing now it's not what we're doing now the show's got a bunch of different parts and a bunch of different things we're doing at all times four parts intro, nonsense yes the part where we kind of just do whatever we want yeah then there's we talk about games that we're playing currently which we'll get to then we talk about the game topic at hand and then we usually have a segment that's kind of five parts actually it is intro, nonsense oh intro, nonsense oh because I'm thinking about intro, nonsense as two separate things oh you're thinking cold open cold open and intro, nonsense what we're playing the main topic and then segment and then a segment yeah so now you know what the show is now you know what the so I don't want anybody getting scared at any point during the show you have a table you know it's coming you've got a map you can't be scared but there's a question that comes up every week on this show and that question is what are you playing? what are you playing? hey it's me the resident evil merchant and I'm gonna ask where's Nick? Nick's not here he's on assignment he's with the dough boys oh fuck where you supposed to go to that? where you were you supposed to go? what's your problem? I don't know kind of I fucked up how'd you fuck up? you just got here I was supposed to be there you were supposed to be you're supposed to be in Chicago with the dough boys were you gonna be the guest on the show? what's that? no no no but I was gonna be on the show you weren't gonna be the guest but you're gonna be on the show yeah yeah yeah okay I talked to Nicky and I said what are you doing? I called him Nicky yeah Nicky little Nicky I talked to Nicky and I was like what are you doing? and he's like I gotta get it please leave my apartment and I went no where do you where are you packing it back? yeah and it's like I gotta go on a trip please leave my wife is afraid yeah and I said where you going? he said Chicago and I went are you there? I forgot so you didn't have like a plan for what you were gonna do you're like Nick's going I'm going you're sort of like his enforcer his bodyguard I gotta say I bought my friend that's really nice that's great I'm sure he'll be happy to see you when you come back I hope he's safe he'll be okay he's with some other big guys he's with Mitch and Gabriel they're gonna take care of him yeah they're gonna be messing with Nick he's also a big guy himself I just don't want him to like you know take a photo and be like oh I'm in a taxi I don't know where I am help no I actually in my experience when you're in a taxi you sort of know exactly where you are and where you're going yeah I imagine for the most part I imagine him like you get one of these crazy taxis it might be a bit of a problem yeah yeah yeah well exactly that's how the song goes yeah alright well I guess I'll just ask you man up with Naka what are you praying President Evil 4 Merchant thank you so much I have some huge news huge I don't know if it's huge walking her back immediately okay I want to know what it was I said this year I'm in sort of a sort of cozy sort of RPG mode yeah really took down the Dragon Quest 7 Reimagined demo yeah loved that I've been playing Hades 2 not quite the same thing but like I've been enjoying that finding the coziness in that a little bit I'm in sort of a cozy mode oh cozy mode and I was like it's January on the podcast it's January on the podcast it's been 80 degrees all month it's true today was a brisk 68 degrees hahahahahah um and I just have been like you know I mean actually I've been playing my switch too quite a bit wow were you convinced by your own episode? no I've just been doing it oh that's great um also of note um switch sales though they were depressed over the holidays are skyrocketing in Japan currently we gotta delete the episode we don't gotta delete the episode but I do think that maybe maybe we buried we buried that casket too early we'll see hey sounds like they took some of our notes to heart actually yeah maybe they did I think maybe they heard our show and got fucking scared what are you playing? just the numbers a little bit what are you playing on switch sales? anyway we were right the whole time that's my job what are you playing? I switched it started a new game not a new game new to me game that I've had in my backlog for a while oh I love to hear it Octopath Traveler hey let me tell you something oh man now that makes me really happy for you this shit's fucking good it's so good it's beautiful it's gorgeous it's the 2D HD aesthetic I love that I love the the score is amazing all the music in the game is fucking insane the voice acting kind of something that you're not really thinking about a game like that having for some reason fully voice acted fully voice acted and you're just like it's really good too really really great fun stuff I started with the character Cyrus who is a scholar and right now I have a party of 3 it's Cyrus Ophelia and I believe her name is Hunnet and she's a hunter who can summon beasts and then also capture beasts so there's like a Pokemon element to that as well and I'm absolutely loving it and it's like a game that like it's turn based so there's like and it's also extremely dense yes there are I feel like sometimes you can it can go like 10 minutes yeah before you're like moving around again yeah like it'll just be like here's every shit that's been going on in my little town and so once you meet a new character I'm sure this will stop at some point but like there's all these characters in the game you can you go around and you start collecting them for your party so you can start swapping them out here and there but then their stories continue elsewhere yeah so you're going around the world map to continue their stories and continue the overall story of what it is but every time you meet a new person you have the opportunity to add them to your party immediately and you could either just continue from that point or you could go back to the beginning of their story and find out how they got there and find out how they got there and that is so fun yep and so cool but it is like a lot of like it's a lot of reading yeah and it's a lot of well you know there's voice acting too but like it's just like there's a lot of text in the game yeah yeah it is a rich fully realized RPG rich is a good is a great word for it absolutely yeah I love the battle system too like it's just like it's just very fun yeah it's fun to as as Cyrus you have a skill I think it's called Analyze or something where like each monster until you've encountered them enough times you kind of don't know how to take them down or what they're weak against so you can analyze and or learn by doing and just like attack and then like sometimes you know a character might be weak to arrows or something and you can break you know their shield or whatever and get a couple of free rounds in before they you know can start attacking again and that's that is so fun I love that I also it's just like it's even just like the fidelity of the game yeah is really good yeah because like I've replayed the what was it Final Fantasy I'm used to playing the original Final Fantasy yeah right even on like Game Boy Advance or like I replayed the pixel version of 3 because I never played that before yeah I only played the DS version of 3 and even those look they're very flat yes and then the font is also like you know they kind of just are not very nice looking they didn't do that much to make them nice right right right these games are like brand new but with sprites right so it's just like they're just very very like lovingly made they are they're gorgeous I've seen people output them to CRTs like old television oh my god and they are breathtaking and it's crazy because it's these they just did those Dragon Quest ones which I also recently picked up Dragon Quest 3 okay yeah HD 2D on like deep sail mm-hmm got that they did they have a new one coming out it's like the Adventures of Elliot or something it's not the boy from ET but if it was Day 1 purchase cause he would use it cause he would use it his life probably after that really boring actually oh yeah yeah yeah like he works in finance nothing else crazy ever happening to that guy he had the one thing ET oh my god what a what a sequel that would be to write my life was crazy now well he's insane now well cause well everybody knows this happened to him there's all this online rumoring right now that the White House is about to disclose that aliens exist and that I don't need to know and that the UK banks have prepped for a financial collapse okay because they think that the stock markets will just go crazy and this is not a news podcast yeah it's not a news podcast there's a lot of online mumbling about this Elliot is a kid who knows they exist and is just walking through the world in a world where nobody else thinks they exist yes and he has I bet he is ostracized I bet he when he gets drunk everybody's like oh god this fucking story again we know his finger lights up shut up already he took a flower from your sister Jesus Christ he drank beer and you got drunk sure whatever dude like what a sad sequel that would be yeah yeah man man I almost want to cut this whole section out of the podcast and just fucking write this it's pretty good like you could just not call it ET too you could just have a story where the implication is it's Elliot yeah yeah Elliot ET wait that's how you that's the poster it says ET the E and the T are really big and then the rest of it is really small oh man that's good Matt we should do it I mean at the very least should we call up Adam McKay at the very least I feel like talking about it like this on the podcast it's ours makes it ours people would be like people would be like oh they just fucking stole this from the get played assholes yeah yeah we see it next week on Saturday Night Live yeah yeah but having worked there I know that they get accused of ripping stuff off all the time there's a lot of just parallel thought they don't fucking look at anything there it's like how could you like they don't watch you're too busy worrying about fucking anything like the president said you know what I mean and then the rest of it's kind of like oh yeah I saw this guy with a weird hat or something yeah yeah yep that's it that's the show you know that famous sketch guy with the weird hat anyway isn't there literally a sketch about guy with a weird hat it doesn't matter it doesn't matter anyway so you're playing Octopath playing Octopath and I'm it's not it's just in my thoughts all the time yeah it's just exactly what I've been wanting just absolute coziness but oh so I was circling back to this that aesthetic is so good and it's funny that it's just like a squarion-ish thing which I'm like yeah I guess I don't want other people doing it right but it is an interesting lesson and like they're all like kind of like very critically well received these games and it's kind of I don't know it's shocking that they haven't done it with Chrono Trigger yet shocking they haven't done it with obviously Pokemon's not Square Enix but like I feel like they could also do yeah something like that be really cool but they should be doing it with those early final fantasies also the priorities that all of these game companies place are so obfuscated and bizarre to me for example as of today Nintendo updated Donkey Kong Re- Donkey Kong Country Returns HD yeah which is a 3DS game that then became it was a Wii it was a Wii game that then became a 3DS game that then became a Switch One game and is now updated for Switch Two yes why are they updating Donkey Kong Country Returns HD but it's not even just an update they added a whole ass character to the game what are they doing it's so crazy I kind of love it like it's a game that I skipped that then I've also recently was like I have to get this now isn't the virtual boy like coming out like next week or something like the add-on I think so I think it comes out in February like what is happening over at Nintendo I don't know we literally did this show last week they deemed it important to update a 16 year old video game and I can't fault them for that I think that's funny it is funny that is good and they just remember that tweet that was like I did this, this and this and they just tweeted it out yeah that's kind of what they did with it they kind of just like put it out like there was no there's a direct coming up yeah and they were just kind of like here you go I don't give a fuck here's Donkey Kong yeah here go nuts who gives a shit announcing today an update to We Fit the fuck it's in Spanish now and you're like wait why I guess good yeah Heather what have you been playing Matt you know this because I texted you about it I followed you into the world of Dragon Quest 7 reimagined fucking game made me so happy and melancholy yeah because I was like oh there's a feeling I have here that is like being taken care of like this game it's got me it's gonna take care of me I don't have to worry about anything nothing is gonna be too crazy every single NPC in this village is gonna have something different to say and once another event happens they're gonna have a different thing to say how a game can be programmed so that when you pick up a barrel and smash it on the ground whether or not you find something in the barrel the action of doing it is pleasurable yeah this is the mastery of a Dragon Quest game because I also went back to playing Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth and I'm I'm only a Jew on because I when I get access to a new area I have to clear every fucking quest I want to just put you at ease you don't have to yes I do you do to a point this is the way I play this is my final I was there I was there with you I was doing that same thing and at a certain point I was like I have to get to the end of it well I you're not there yet I'm not there yet I cleared all of the the Jew on area stuff and then I was showing my parents are in town and I wanted to show them the Campbells are in town the Campbells are in town my mom wants to come say hi on the podcast oh please so I want to show them what games look like now so I showed them the opening of Death Stranding and went look at this fucking thing check this shit out yeah look at this and then I also was like and then you want to see what cloud looks like now and I showed them this this game my dad falls asleep and they're acutely familiar with cloud they've been there I've been dressing up as cloud my whole life yes so I'm showing it and I finished the final side quest in the Jew on intro area and I entered into Jew on and you're like running down these like rickety tunnels underneath the city proper and fucking everybody is like clanging into chairs and knocking fucking shit around and it's like it's like a minor hurricane walking down that tunnel the most destructive crew imaginable well it's what's jarring about it is it's so badly designed yeah it's funny but it also instantly makes you think these guys are idiots and they're assholes they're idiots and assholes yeah and nobody reacts to it they are terrorists and it's one of those things in a video game that like gives you a real large distance between yourself and the story like it it has to it's like when link is in somebody's house and breaks everything in the house and the guy doesn't do anything or say anything right right so there's this feeling in a game usually where you're like this isn't quite supposed to be happening this way for some reason in Dragon Quest when you go into somebody's house and you pick up a barrel and you smash it on the ground it feels like that person is fine with it yeah they sort of put that there and they'll be like hey if somebody comes in doesn't knock yeah just walks in picks up a crate or a jar or some shit smashes it that's fine I put it there for them to do that that and the legacy sounds in a Dragon Quest game all the way up into the most recent one you go into a building and it's like chuk chuk chuk those legacy sounds are so they're so comforting I felt like sad I tried to express this over text I was like games shouldn't have done anything but this we fucked up Fortnite my favorite now my favorite game of all time yes when I play Fortnite I don't leave feeling well no I feel accomplished or I feel energized or I feel like tons of dopamine adrenaline all of those feelings but I don't feel like good yeah I feel anxious even I said this and this sort of applies to Fortnite though too but what Dragon Quest does extremely well more so than even like Final Fantasy or just any of the big games in the last couple of years yeah bright colors and smiling faces it is even the enemies are smiling they're smiling slimes are smiling even the creepy ones they're like kinda like like they look like cartoon characters so you're never like there's not a single moment of distress in a Dragon Quest game there really aren't and you're kinda like sometimes there's a boss and you gotta sort of you have to get past that but there's never any sort of like I mean as far as I know well you'll get like you'll get a character get confronted by a surprise and they'll go like this and then they'll go and they get right back into serious like that's the range of their emotional state yes is surprise like cartoonish surprise back to determine I love it I love it it's so good I'm so glad you called it out every day that I turn on my playstation I'm like I'm like nobody's around to play Fortnite right now what should I play I scroll through my games I'm like I could go back in a fucking play Queen's Breath or whatever the fuck that card game is Queen's Blood Queen's Blood should be its own game should be its own game it's a great game it's really good really good game but I'm like looking at my like you know cross media bar and I'm trying to decide which of these games to play and I'll see that demo and I'll be like oh is that out yet and I click on it and click through it and it's not out yet not out yet and I'm like come on god damn it you're going to playstation on that one I don't know that yet okay because I I played it on my switch too I know you did to me that's a switch to game through and through it probably looks great on the it looks so fucking I'm sure it looks probably identical on the fucking switch yeah it's like probably not that crazy yeah but I just feel like do you want to know the truth you'll have it on the big TV I mean here's the thing you can play it on switch too on the big TV here's you want to know the truth you want to play it on the portal no you want to know the truth what's that it's the controller yeah it's that fucking that like adaptive triggers that dual that dual sense or whatever it's called mm-hmm that's a good controller that's really good it's it's basically the controller is the reason I'm playing it on playstation that's fair that's your right it's a good controller yeah but you played that yeah I played that so good we played something else too didn't we we did Nick's favorite game of all time is part of a franchise it's Senran Kagura of which we played Senran Kagura burst re what? renewal renewal that's it renewal developed by Tamsoft Marvelous Meteorize Honey Parade all of these are the are the companies that that were involved in Senran Kagura Marvelous is very well known for their action games no affiliation to Billy Crystal what? you know how he does that you look Marvelous are you not familiar with Billy Crystal's uvra? no that's fine if Nick was here you would have loved that that was for Nick in many ways all of this is for Nick it is but that in particular that was for Nick um so anyway hey series debuted this is taken from Wikipedia the series debuted in Japan in 2011 with the release of Senran Kagura Shoujitachi no Shine or Senran Kagura Portrait of Girls from the Nintendo 3DS and debuted abroad in 2013 with Senran Kagura burst the franchise has expanded into video games, manga adaptations, anime series and plenty of merchandise I had not I had never heard of this title but I'm going to read the games in the series because for a lot of our listeners probably there's going to be some listeners like oh my god these guys and then some of them are probably like what are they talking about? I feel like more than a handful of our listeners are going to be like I love these yeah so you've got from 20 of them you've got you've got you've got you've got yeah so you've got from 2011 for the Nintendo 3DS Senran Kagura Skirting Shadows then you have Senran Kagura burst then you have New Wave then you have Senran Kagura Shinobi Versus you've got Bon Appetit Diem Crimson Estival Versus Peach Beach Splash Reflections Shinobi Master Senran Kagura New Link then burst renewal which is the one we played from 2018 then you have all Neptunia X Senran Kagura Ninja Wars and then finally from 2024 Senran Kagura Run which is a mobile only game um here's what these games are imagine uh Naruto uh the the franchise about ninjas yes that's right but imagine instead of ninjas it's all high school girls in short skirts uh they the that's not all that's not all they also have giant tits they have giant giant breasts and let me say this is Nick's favorite game it's Nick's favorite game and I think I can say this on this podcast you know I've had a double mastectomy no game has made me miss my breasts more than Senran Kagura burst renewal I look at those every one million years could have guessed that that's what you're going to say I look at those boobs on the on the big screen and I think man boobs were fun to have and these girls are having tons of fun with them they're having a lot of fun their backs probably really hurt destroyed destroyed so go ahead no um it's insane it's insane very very very very large breasts what is this game it is a game about a ninja school a shinobi school where a bunch of on its own pretty good idea pretty good idea they gotta learn somewhere it is at a high school but it's in a secret entrance where they cannot commingle with regular students but they go to a school they train to be ninjas because there are good and evil shinobi in Japan and the good ones have to fight the evil ones to maintain the balance and that just makes sense and there's nothing wrong with any of that nothing wrong with any of it and the truth is for a game that is so brazenly open faced about its just horniness fan service fan service like it's straight it never pretends to be anything but what it is yeah the inclusion of a story at all shocked me and impressed me it's not a bad story it's not a bad story it is like kind of like I mean you could see the bones for what could be like a B plus anime sure there's enough there where it's sort of like hey this is yeah all the main characters are interesting they all kind of have their own bit they got their own thing going on they got their own bit they got a sort of steampunk like eye patch kind of thing going on I mean these these student girls one of them has dark hair with their big big big titties yeah you start this game with a cold open where you're fighting on a rooftop and you aren't given at least on the I played on PlayStation 5 Apodaka you played on steam and 3DS yeah I had to really be comprehensive on this one and so I did get it on my steam deck and started there had to see what the 3DS version was like because this is this new one is a you know a remake of that right it starts basically the same way the only real difference is that the 3DS version is more of like a 2.5D okay action game where it is like a side scrolling it's 3D models in a 2D space okay okay yeah well the PlayStation 5 version which is what I played fully 3D environment yes you start on a rooftop you're having a big battle with a bunch of other ninjas you were given no tutorial fucking at all no you're just going you're just expected to hit buttons and move around and by and large once you start doing it you're like oh I get it okay these are light attacks this is heavy attack okay I'm still not sure how to lock onto an enemy but I think I can just run okay this is block like as long as you're just pressing the buttons yes it really teaches itself I do so this is what I think about the combat system I have two minds of this I think it's robust enough for somebody who actually wants to play a video game right right like there's like there's parries there's special attacks there's like there's you know there's other I mentioned the like aerial attacks that's like it's own thing and each girl has a unique fighting style and cadence yes that stuff is great and it's like it's it's media enough where like yeah like a real gamer could play this game and be like this is hey there's a lot going on here there's a game here on the other side the combat it's while it's also robust it's you could be just like a full on like what am I trying to say here if you just want to see like the big boob girls you're not going to have any trouble playing this game I think like it is like easy enough it's not I've this I've not run into any real challenge with this game even I died twice later on you died twice later on how far did you get I don't know how far I went but I I fully died twice like the game becomes increasingly tech did you ever get so like were you ever poisoned in a fight I can't say that I was I might have been but maybe you were able to overcome the poison well like as you go the other characters that you're fighting throw more and more shit at you and the timing of parries becomes a little bit more because I was playing it mindlessly I was just like I don't give a fuck about me you're doing what I said that could be possible and then I got up against a boss who both poisoned me and then they should know be transformed and then they used a special move on me and all at once I got to yeah and then you were done and I was like wow but let's we're ahead of ourselves there is a calm that you're introduced with combat yes you're on a rooftop you're having a fighting game and then you finish the level and you cut to a ninja school interior where these fully rendered 3d girls are having little scenelets with each other the scenelets are horny but they're having little dialogue and it's not it's not visual novel style where you're just reading the text on screen that comes later yes because it turns out this game is a is a hors d'oeuvre plate of a bunch of different types of games yes all centered around unlocking and witnessing increasingly horny vignettes of these of these the 5 main girls or 6 main girls yes after you get your introduction to this game done you launch into a fully 2D hand drawn animated anime opening what? it was stunning it's stunning it was so it looked so so I was playing it on my steam deck also it looks great on the 3DS but I was playing it on my steam deck and I don't have the OLED steam deck and I was like this looks fucking awesome this is so good I was so shocked when on my big screen all of a sudden I'm watching a full blown Saturday afternoon anime opening of like telling me the story of all these fucking girls the song is good too the song fucking rules and I was like wow did Nick actually point us at a real game? this was pretty good when he said it it was kind of like a prank kind of but in many ways he set us up for success here he really did there's a lot going on they'll say one of the main differences so far I've noticed in the versions that I've played the 3DS version and the one on steam after that you sort of have the you can go to the I can't remember what it's called the ninja room yeah ninja room and that's sort of in the modern version of it that's a menu and each option is just something you can select in the 3DS version that's a playable space and you can walk around to the library or to the dressing room or whichever of the other rooms there are yeah you unlock this ninja room space after your cold open and the ninja room is a menu of things you can do so you can go to the dressing room and you can toggle and normally in a game like this you'll start with like two outfits and the in-store in-game shop is going to have like 10,000 outfits and that is sort of the gameplay loop yeah it's like oh I really need to buy a bathing suit from this girl and have her fight in a bathing suit I gotta buy the red one I have the blue one I have to buy the red one but in this game you start with an enormous library of clothing options you would in theory never have to buy one yeah there's so many so many you dress up each girl however you change their hair color their eye color their tan lines you change everything about them yeah I read about these options I went through them I went through a bunch of them yeah no I read about it and I was like okay and Nick called me and wouldn't stop telling me all about it there's two main outfits so like the way the combat works is you have your main outfit that you start to place a game in and then you can ninja Shinobi transform which is like a Sailor Moon sequence with really really tight close ups on butts and boobs well it's all it's also like okay so yeah you are shedding part of the transformation is you're shedding the clothes that you're wearing and the way that presents itself is that the clothes sort of like rip off of you revealing basically a nude body but with with parts censored glowing highlights over nipples and vagina yes that stuff that's insane which I thought maybe on the steam version was going to be like fully uncensored it's not okay did I request a refund immediately? actually this good with games we've done in the past this is easily a game I would probably refund the game's kind of fun yeah it's kind of fun it's good stuff it's kind of fun in the DS version in the 3DS version there is no censorship but there's no implied nudity either it's just their damn underwear okay well you go fully nude you throw on a bikini and then your shinobi transformation clothes which is usually some heightened version of the outfit you started in it's like you can pick a different outfit but for the most part the default shinobi transform is not that it's like they put a sweater huh? it's like not that different there is one girl who reads a little butch and her shinobi transform is that her shirt is unbuttoned and barely hanging onto again her enormous breast yeah yeah yeah the shirt fighting for its damn life so your combat involves you know a button really sees hates to see her coming you power up your character you shinobi transform you get your little sailor moon sequence and then you have special moves additional combos however additional to that the way damage registers on both you and your opponent yeah I forgot about this for a second is that your clothes tear yes and you usually fall to the ground in like a compromising position before getting back up to fight some more your big goal in a match against a human opponent because you also fight like wooden soldiers street thugs like a bunch like you fight girls on the street and you punch their clothes off yeah but your goal like your conceptual goal is to punch all of their clothes off yes I'm gonna punch their clothes off their clothes off coming off the clothes are coming off the clothes are coming off off clothes off start big age look something about when Nick's not here we have all these really good movie ideas so your goal is you fight these bosses you're knocking all their clothes off and then you hopefully finish them with a special move that shreds their last amount of clothes and they fall to the ground in a compromised position fully naked yes humiliated humiliated the greatest defeat of all then you cut to a visual novel yep where you get like pages and pages and pages of text talking about the girls day at school then you're back in your fucking ninja room again where you have options like go to the store yeah go to the library go to the dressing room what's at the store here we go there is both paid DLC yeah which will give you a ton more outfits yeah and then there's also the in-game currency which you earn by doing well in the combat rounds which lets you unlock more outfits and you get a lot of this money I feel like you get so much more again usually these fucking games it's like oh if you're gonna get the white bikini it's gonna cost you like ten hundred rounds of fighting yeah and you're gonna have to save every cent instead I went into the fucking store and I was like oh unlock all of the videos yeah and I did and I was like wow that's done yeah I unlocked all the videos I don't need the cat ears they basically have cat ears I bought the ramen hat the ramen hat's good because it's like it said something like it's like it was called like sexual uh like ramen like there's not an there's not an item description it just says what it's called yeah and there's not an image attached to it out of curiosity I was like I have to see what this is and to my delight big ramen bowl really funny good stuff not at all what I thought it was gonna be yeah there's no in the PlayStation store or the I assume Steam store and the DLC the paid DLC you will get like images of the outfits but in the in-game store it'll just say summer suit spectacular yeah and you'll be like I don't know what that is I'm just gonna have to take your word on that you click it you go to the dressing room you shuffle through a million fucking outfits you already have cause you don't know where it is right away you don't know where it is and then you get to it and you put it on and it's like okay great it's a blue bathing suit with little sailboats on the titties yeah this game is funny it's like incidentally funny it's earnest yep it's not funny on purpose no they made this game to be like this yeah and that is funny to me I was so worried when we were doing the mental calculus of this episode without Nick that what we were locking ourselves into was going to be a terrible fucking time yes and that I would be texting you I hate this game and instead I was like this is mostly harmless yeah there is there's some look you could get gross with this if you wanted to you could you could this game has bad vibes if you go looking for it for sure if you like in the PlayStation version yeah there was something patched out of it oh there was in the in the changing room area uh huh there's a there's a section called intimacy okay that was patched out it's in the pc version still not on the steam version no it's in the steam version okay what is intimacy oh you just pick one of the characters and you can you get two little hands you can just do whatever you just engage with the jiggle jiggle basically yeah yeah you can just engage engage with the jiggle physics is a very eloquent way to say that actually yes you can engage with them uh and then you get a heart meter and the more you engage with it the heart fills up oh they like it they like it oh okay well that could be worse oh you can slap a little bit and then that's when they're like don't do that it doesn't doesn't hurt your heart score let me let me tell you there is an item of interactivity in the playstation version because you can start you can start any round with like a risky move where you hold down left and right and right one as the start of as the game is going to begin and that automatically tears off all of your clothes yes I can't remember what this is called it's called like risky business or some shit I don't know what it's called in the playstation version you do that and you get an image of the girl in her outfit and then you have to take your thumbs put them on the touchpad and shred the clothes off wow I can't double dip on this yeah you can't I thought you were there's also a hell of a game to explain to my wife you don't need to explain this to your wife I was explaining she was like what are you doing I was like I'm playing this game for the show what's the show and I was like or what's the game I was like okay it's this game that Nick really likes well Nick loves this game he wants us to play it what did she say you would be playing something like that oh man dragged by my wife I did not play this in front of my wife or my parents who are staying with me though I was terrified that they would walk in to my office and see something like this yeah seen where all the girls are eating sushi and one of them is just sucking it like a dick hahaha just not how you should eat it she's just in the corner at ranch I don't know if you can see this she's in the corner yeah show ranch oh and does that give me trouble she's just in the corner sucking uh sushi like a dick Nick's favorite game it's his favorite insane sorry if I just got I just stepped over some social barrier no it's okay um this game I didn't pick this game no Nick Nick hahaha and that's true we're not just saying that yeah and we're not just saying that we're not punishing him for being away no by playing a good but horny game the I will say it's not good don't go buy this game no it's not recommendable no right like it's not like it's like it's not dragon quest 7 reimagined but it's also not shitty no shitty enough that there's a franchise I would say that like if it was like 10 bucks you could do a lot worse for sure you could you could do a lot worse for 10 bucks and if you got it for 299 I'd be like what an hour of play yeah yeah yeah I don't know that I'll get back to it I don't know that I'm ever gonna beat this game like it is progressing and difficult in a way that is like like scratching an itch in my brain where I'm like cause also it's extremely fast it is so fast except they don't run fast enough they don't run fast enough but I feel like when you're punching and in fighting you're in the air sometimes I'm like where the fuck am I right right it's very fast combat the problem the only problem I found in the combat was where am I in the visual chaos how does the lock on work which I kept forgetting yes and then when you would knock back an enemy like pretty far across the play area the play areas are like oh you're in like a I don't know you're in a dojo or you're in like a a woodsy clearing or you're in like a back street in Tokyo or like the school yard the field yeah you'll knock back a character and running to that character is so slow yes and it's a real bummer because that's that should have a teleport dash and maybe you unlock them yeah because you do unlock moves without a skill tree you just unlock moves as you go and then eventually I think you can also choose to play as the evil evil girls and unlock a different story that's what the burst edition is because I think it with the first version of it was skirting whatever and then burst was the same game but with the addition of the evil shinobi story I think it's a fun time I you can certainly get it for the 3DS for the 3DS very easily if that's something you're looking for and you want to do I was surprised because I know that I'm not friends with Nick on PlayStation you're not? no he refuses to befriend me on PlayStation am I on that? he keeps a low profile he's a very private man I just got the letter box follow wow that's great I follow him on letter box do I follow you on letter box? I don't think I do I don't know I gotta follow you will you follow me back please? of course I will thank god I think I already follow you are you active on it? yeah medium I gotta get in there but here's the thing I'm gonna clean house I'll tell you that I'm not friends with Nick I download Senran Kagura and 2 friends play you're gonna have to tell me who after I don't know who they are because I didn't click through I would have assumed one of them was iffy but most most of the games we play on this show where we're playing some weird game or a horny game no friends in common like for example Bubsy no friends play this game comes up right immediately no friends, no enemies nobody plays this game but Senran I download this game I'd never heard of and sure enough I got two people on my friends list who are already playing this game not I mean probably not recently but it's that to me demonstrates that there's a like if it was just horny I don't think people would play it there's enough game here that you're like yeah huh if it was just horny it wouldn't be there's just like I don't know I don't understand that kind of because I'm just like why did you just go jack off to something regular what the hell's the matter with you I don't see any of this for free you need to buy a video game to fucking jack what are you doing man huh are you eleven what that also doesn't make sense because if you're eleven you don't have money you might have you might have your parents credit card maybe I don't know that's not true if I had my parents credit card when I was eleven I wouldn't spend it by pornography with it wouldn't be sitting here today living I'll tell you that but yeah so so there's enough game that people I think play the game and enough play the game that it got a franchise I'm stunned and I will say it looks pretty good and it runs really well on the steam deck what the fuck is happening it looks really good I was kind of shocked just like I mean beyond the obvious but like the character models are all really good and like the way the the transformations look pretty the transformations are great by the way seeing that in 3D on the 3DS shocking because not all of it is it was like switched but like those cut scenes those are in 3D and you do sort of feel like you should be in trouble yeah but yeah no I thought like fun just like a fun little game looks great I don't know that I'd investigate a new title unless everybody was talking about it like this one's fucking good but if yeah if that happened if somebody was like hey have you played this horny game? it's called Senran Kagura the third chapter or something and I'd be like no but it wouldn't shock me if a great Senran game came out yes like I'd be like that tracks I also don't need anybody coming up to me asking me if I've played any other of these I don't need to talk about it it's not gonna happen no but it's right on the line it certainly feels like also it's a 2011 game or 2012 could it save the switch too? could it save the switch too? it's a 2012 game and definitely feels like a 2012 game like it's got like kind of a retro throwback 14 years ago vibe to it it reminds me of say no more heroes on the Wii it has like this like very simplistic 3D world that you're running through but there's a just enough crunch for it to be it doesn't put you off no which is so fucking weird yeah cause it is like you almost stopped noticing it where you're kind of like that's definitely like part of it but you get so locked into the combat and the story a little bit where you're kind of like that's third on the list and even then you're kind of like did you get to the story of the girl with the long sword? yes pretty good story cool character cool character, girl with the long sword my favorite combat so far I like the boots girl though too boots girl is good I fucking hate the dumb one who's always crying her combat style sucks she's the one with the plush she's got plush and she fights like the way that like a school girl fights like this like slapping motion big sword or big for some reason robot boots yeah those two those two good combat main girl good combat and I understand if I say big in relation to any part of this game could be boobies or butts talking about anything but swords and boots is what I'm talking about you get big swords back story and they're doing like you see it in a visual novel and they're doing a family tree like genealogy thing and she specifically doesn't mention her brother on her family tree and then this degenerate shows up at the school with her sword and you discover that she's an adopted child and that her ninja family bequeathed her this sword but her burnout deadbeat brother wanted to claim it and so there's like a showdown between the two of them and as I'm reading it I'm like this is a good episode of a fucking anime man it's good stuff it works it's kind of funny that they like hid this good stuff and this kind of just like horny game yeah other things I would like to call out from my notes the high school girls are told to keep their ninja scrolls on their person so one says I keep it under my skirt and the other says I keep it in my cleavage okay I wrote this game is not playing around it's providing exactly what Nick said he would love okay stunned when I think it's boots says to a group of girls in text or like across the screen you're all a bunch of pussies yeah no that really made me laugh that was so funny to me I was like whoa I don't think I've ever read this word in a game before that was about when I sort of locked in and was like I think this game is good actually there is when you're fighting enemy shinobi they are also very well endowed yeah big all yeah it's not just the main characters it's everybody every girl got a big titties it's in this planet where everybody's like that that being said main villain girl calls your emcee jugs it's just funny it's like it's like you know like that's like I better call it out before somebody else calls me out you know what I mean the main character says please stop calling me jugs that's so funny because they're also just like not markedly bigger they're the same size as the enemy shinobi that's really funny can you imagine meeting somebody and calling them jugs it's like me going up to another loud person and being like what's up loud what you're loud what are you talking about um there's some of my notes from early on in the game and then I got too locked in and kept playing yeah it was it was weirdly fun do you fight the german girl? what the fuck I don't know girl shows up and she's got like essentially a cloud style zvi hander sword and her transformation is into like like what sound of music close every every comedic decision they make works it is it's an alarming hit rate actually I wonder if these guys put this game out certainly a team of only men put this game out and were like we did our best and then we're like surprised at the like the reciprocity of like how many people enjoyed this game like did they know when they were putting out this game we might have a franchise on our hands or were they just like hey this turned out pretty good for what it is I mean it had to have first been like I don't care what we make they gotta be huge they gotta be huge you understand the I also like I like to ground pound okay yeah ground pound because these girls for some reason as slight as they may be can shift the earth with a punch when they fly from aerial combat on the ground they create a crater yes in the earth it's very funny to me and all of the typically I would say more often than not you're fighting other girls yes and you'll fight like a crowd of girls at the same time you'll just have a screen full of girls flying all over the place extremely fun and you don't know what's happening it's it's unfortunately good stuff it's Nick you son of a bitch you did it thank you so much for recommending to us Senran Kagura burst re no available on all systems not on switch they have some Senran Kagura games on switch but they have games in other genres that aren't like this like this run one that's on mobile or whatever they gotta put it on switch too I wonder if the running is just jiggles I think it has to be one of those auto runner like temple runner some shit right but uh I bet you there's they'd be insane to this is the version that doesn't have that we didn't put it in this one for some reason I mean it is Nintendo should we do a segment let's do a segment I got a segment for us today I'm gonna see if Heather can rightly guess what if ranch knows who any of these video game characters are it's time for dude ranch dude ranch welcome on down to dude ranch no keep going I can't find the note okay okay I found it where the dudes in the ranch and ranch is a ranch ranch let me just ask you generally speaking when we're talking about video game characters how often like not outside of the segment percentage wise how often would you say you've heard of what we're talking about I would say I retain at least 50% hey that's not bad that's pretty good that's pretty good so then maybe who knows this one might be easy for you then ranch ranch knows more than I know about our own show that's probably true once I say the words they're gone yeah so here we go I'm gonna just name some characters I'm gonna go to Heather first and then you'll tell me if you think ranch knows who's it is and then we'll get an answer from ranch okay let's dude ranch let's dude ranch here we go do you think ranch knows who M. Bison is M. Bison does ranch know who M. Bison is I'm gonna say no I'm gonna say no I guess I should guess also I'm gonna say yes just to keep it interesting ranch tell me who M. Bison is Mr. Bison from Sonic the Hedgehog by your own math you have to get half of these right we need a t-shirt Mr. Bison Mr. Bison from Sonic the Hedgehog with an illegal photo of M. Bison absolutely so Heather gets the point that was not who that was that's not who that was he's from Street Fighter he's an antagonist from Street Fighter he looks like a fascist and is one he's a fascist played by Ralph Julia in the movie played by David Dost Dostmashian I can never get his name right but I think he's an incredible actor and he's gonna be really good in the new movie Heather do you do you think ranch knows Niko Bellic no absolutely not I think just to keep it interesting I have to guess yes part of me thinks there's no fucking way he kind of became a meme kind of no she knows who Niko Bellic is ranch tell me who is Niko Bellic Niko Bellic have you heard the name before? no there's still a chance you can guess right alright sure yes Niko Bellic is one of the bad guys in Final Fantasy oh couldn't be you could be stronger if you tried Niko Bellic is the protagonist of Grand Theft Auto 4 he's still a bad guy though he's still bad but as far as bad guys go we're kind of fucking with Niko Niko's pretty cool good track suit everybody calls him Niko Bellic full name for his last name Heather do you think do you think ranch knows who Roxas is no there's no I barely know who Roxas is I have to say yes why you can also say no I have to say yes ranch who's Roxas Roxas is the other version of Sora in Kingdom Hearts I kind of thought ranch might know right because she's seen a lot of Kingdom Hearts at home she's seen a lot of Kingdom Hearts at home it's still a good job and I'm going to tell Mark that you earned dinner tonight wow holy shit and that's the most perfect answer you could give for who Roxas is Jesus Christ do you think ranch knows Ezio Auditore no because I don't know who that is no no I think I know who that is ranch does not know who that is ranch tell me all about Ezio Mario Luigi's strange brother it is not Mario and Luigi's strange brother it's me Mario Luigi Ezio kind of not crazy I saw that on the front of the shirt and on the back Mr. Bison but the front of the shirt it has all three of them and it just says three brothers and they're like holding hands Ezio is the character from Assassin's Creed that's what I thought I don't know if that's how you say his last name sure Auditore do you think ranch knows who Navi is here's the thing I think she is going to answer technically correct I think it's possible yeah so you're gonna say yes okay I'm gonna take the no on this one ranch who is Navi Navi is a character from Avatar it's not what I'm asking right but that's what I meant by technically technically correct it's not a character from it's what the race of aliens are but I was like that is technically a game also technically a game technically correct I'm talking about of course the guiding fairy from Legend of Zelda of Time but you were right Navi are the Avatar guys the blue guys did I put this in as a trap? absolutely to who's benefit who could say and finally why do we do the show at all it's all a trap it's a trick do you think ranch knows who blinky is no I don't know who is blinky I don't know who blinky is I'm just gonna tell you right now you know blinky so I don't think ranch knows who blinky is for sure know who blinky is I was gonna put you at ease do you know blinky? okay sure maybe now I know who it is what do you think? I don't think ranch knows blinky I'm gonna say yes just keep it interesting either way you're the winner of this game ranch I think we all won who's blinky? actually I think ranch won for not knowing these things ranch knows for sure but who's blinky? blinky is a duck and animal crossing new horizon that's a really good answer for wrong guesses that's a really good guess it's the red ghost from pacman oh then I didn't know who it was what did you think it was? I thought it was the clown from twisted metal no that's sweet tooth oh okay he's got his own thing but blinky is the red ghost from pacman yeah that's fine you are moot when you get the the big dot and then they all turn dark blue yeah it's blinky inky Clyde and zoo? and then there's another one I can't remember what the other one is I think it's also an inky Clyde is the turn yeah I was picked Clyde this was a really educational game of dude ranch we need to be doing a better job in educating ranch I think what it implies to me is that we talk about avatar just enough that's in yeah so we can be talking about the other things as much as that ranch's knowledge would expand but right now we've sort of been in an avatar sort of ranch did you see the third avatar movie? no do you know who Varang is? yes Varang is the name of our group chat for some reason you changed the name of our group chat to Varang I wake up to pictures of Varang every day from that group chat sometimes several that's this weeks get played our show is produced and engineered by rachel chen ranch yard underscore underscore sard how's silent hill f going ranch it's still going it's still going where do you think you're at percent of our group chat where do you think you're at percentage wise with that game you think you're almost done with it or are you still still got a lot of game left if you had to guess I think I still got a lot of game left is what's stopping you an inconsistent streaming schedule or is it like hard and scary? very inconsistent streaming schedule also constantly getting lost and beaten down over and over again it seems cool beautiful not my silent hill legs on top legs on bottom all legs all the time our show's music is by ben prunty ben prunty music dot com our show's art is by duck brigade duck brigade design dot com you can check out our merch, hats, sweatshirts regular shirts and more at kinshipgoods.com and check out our patreon patreon dot com slash get played for ad free main feed episodes and we have a lot of new episodes including old episodes of how did this get played and new episodes with our premium dlc and the new get played dlc show where we've done all sorts of things so far we did a super sized question block last week we did a movie review of avatar fire and ash we did a brand new how did this get played episode which in truth is we kind of sort of shadow did that today we sort of shadow did that today except it was like how does this get played in the most fun way it's actually good we got some fun stuff coming up this week we're talking about a final fantasy 7 anime that we watched so we're sort of dipping back into the get anime world a little bit with that I wish I had the name of it in front of me currently it's called like reunion no it's called like the it's not the first soldier crisis corps soldier last soldier final fantasy last battalion first reunion final fantasy I'm typing this in if he's sephiroth I don't want to be right that's pretty good look we're doing a little bit of everything on the dlc it's called the last order colon final fantasy 7 last order and it's an anime we watched we watched along with it so you can find it on youtube watch it there and that'll be it for this week's get played and this week I think this game got played Nick got played by missing out by missing out, Nick got played and you know what we could title this episode how did Nick get played honestly we got it you heard it here first goodbye we're going to go into a deep dive from our show this is us we're going to go episode by episode we're also going to pepper in episodes with different guest stars and writers and casting directors are we going to cry? yes a little bit a lot that's what I'm hoping man listen to that with us on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on youtube or spotify new episodes every Tuesday