How To Earn Trust and Influence According to Renowned Psychologist Robert Cialdini

I've been in a lot of sales training programs and they say the number one rule of sales is get your customer to like you. That works, but it's not the number one rule. Here's the number one rule. Show your customer that you like them. Welcome to the Home Service Expert, where each week Tommy chats with world-class entrepreneurs and experts in various fields, like marketing, sales, hiring, and leadership to find out what's really behind their success in business. Now your host, the Home Service Millionaire, Tommy Nello. Before we get started, I wanted to share two important things with you. First, I want you to implement what you learned today. To do that, you'll have to take a lot of notes, but I also want you to fully concentrate on the interview. So I asked the team to take notes for you. Just text notes, N-O-T-E-S, to 888-526-1299. That's 888-526-1299. And you'll receive a link to download the notes from today's episode. Also, if you haven't got your copy of my newest book, Elevate, please go check it out. I'll share with you how I attracted and developed a winning team that helped me build a 200 million dollar company in 22 states. Just go to Elevate and win.com-foreslash-podcast to get your copy. Now let's go back into the interview. All right, guys. Welcome back to the Home Service Expert. Our guest today is one of the most influential psychologists of our time, Dr. Robert Chaudini, the best sign author of Influence of Psychology Persuasion. A book that sold over five million copies, been translated into 40 languages, and remains one of the most cited works in psychology and marketing. Today's research continues to shape how leaders, marketers, and everyday people understand the science and the ethics of influence. Robert, we had you on the... You go by Bob sometimes. I don't know what to call you, but Bob... Bob, yeah. We've had you on Home Service Expert. I've read your books, I've gone to your seminars, and I just... Every time I get pages of notes, but you're right. You know, it's hard to implement everything. It's hard to kind of ruthlessly prioritize what's the best lowest hanging fruit to implement. And they've got all kinds of strategies, but... Why don't we just talk a little bit about where you're at today? You know, I know you taught a day issue. What got you so obsessed in the Influence game? And what are you excited about? I think that I'm excited about taking this to a broader audience than we have done before, making sure that the people who have paid for my research, after all, with their taxes, with your donations to my universities, and so you've paid for that research. You're entitled to know what I found out about persuasion with your money. Right? So I want to get programs available to people to understand the practices and procedures that make people most likely to say yes to us, and that you can... how you can do it in an efficient and ethical way. Yeah, the beginning of the book is just don't use these practices for unethicals, because they could easily go the opposite way. Yeah, we've seen that. Yeah, we've got dynamite. And you can use dynamite to blow up a bridge, you can use dynamite to help build a bridge. We're going to be on the building side. I love it. Let's go through, I mean, listen, there's several core principles. Let's just start out with what is ethical influence. Let's start there. Ethical influence is the ability to move people in your direction by informing them into yes, by educating them into a scent so that they know the value proposition that you offer them. That is worthwhile to them, but you just haven't known how to properly phrase it or deliver it. It's about the presentation of your case, not the core merits of your case. I can't change that. I can change the way you deliver the merits of your case that makes people psychologically more attracted to it. It's so much fun because there's a great book by Daniel Paine called The Cell is Human. And selling is just normal. Like when you meet your fiance for the first time or your wife or your husband or your kid's to make their bed, it's like we've got to have persuasion. And it's not a bad thing. It's like to getting your kids to do chores is not a bad thing, but if we phrase it in the right way, and I've learned so much from you, these little things like, I don't even want to go into it right now, but you talk about reciprocity, commitment, consistency, social proof, authority liking and scarcity. Let's just talk a little bit like a rough overview of each of those. Yeah, let's talk, it turns out that we've added one. Yeah, I remember, yeah. Called Unity. Yeah, Unity right here, the seventh principle. Yeah, and it's about saying yes to people because you feel it's sense of togetherness or partnership with them. Not that you necessarily feel similar to them. You feel that you belong together. Let me give you an example from a study that was done because you were just talking about what do you say to somebody you meet for the first time who was a potential date or relationship partner or even an existing relationship partner. What do you say when the two of you have a difference of opinion and you just can't get past that issue? It turns out there's this study that was done in Texas where they take people who were together in a relationship for more than two and a half years. Okay. They give them each, they say, we're going to flip a coin. One of you, we're going to ask you to persuade the other to come into line with you with, you know, with on a topic that you haven't been able to get resolution on together. To be religion politics, anything. To be religion politics, anything. All right. And then the researchers leave the room and they are listening in and they're watching with through one way mirrors and they look at what people say to get their partner to say yes to them and they found three kinds of people. One, used coercion. If you don't do this for me, you'll be sorry. Not only didn't that work and move people in the opposite direction. You can relate to that, right? Any boss who does that to you. Because I said something. Yeah, because the other is we're called the rational logical group. They said to their partner, if you'll just look at this situation, you'll see that I have the, I have the most rational logical position on this. That didn't produce polarization. It just produced left. Yeah. It's all, yeah, sure. No change at all. And then there was a small group of people. Only 15% the only ones who got change. And they, it was, it was to say to use the term we and say, you know, we've been together for two years. I really appreciate, I'd really appreciate if you do this for us. You see what it's not me versus you. It's us. It's weeness and it's the only ones who changed simply using the term we. You change the mindset from conflict to collaboration. The only ones who got significant change just use the word we. I'm just trying to think about Bree. And when I want to take her out to eat, she doesn't agree. Is we both like chicken? I'm going to learn this. There's probably a lot of techniques. I could look and I'm not trying to manipulate. I'm just trying to like figure the problem is now I'm just like pick three and I'll choose one. But see, here's the brogans of it. Isn't it true that are you, you and Bree are we? Oh, absolutely. We're a unit. And what the researchers in this study did was take people away from that. They said, focus on this difference between you and the 15% wouldn't have it. They said, no, what we really are is a unit. I'm going to use the word we. I'm going to focus on the connection on the togetherness of us. I'm going to bring that to top of consciousness, not the difference on this one topic. I'm going to say we. That's all you just bring to top of consciousness, we miss instead of difference. I love it made the difference. I need to learn how to really implement these. I understand. So reciprocity we do very good job. Resurrected is pretty simple. You know, do on to your, you know, you give somebody you treat them with respect and like you come in to offer something if you want something in response. Commitment. Let's go over like an example of commitment. Of course. People say yes to those requests that are consistent with what they have already said or done or valued. Yes. So here's a, here's an example from a restaurant. Restaurants have a problem with no shows, people who book a table and then they don't appear. All right. So there's this guy in Chicago, Gordon Sinclair, Gordon's restaurant. And he read my book and he made one change to what his receptionist says when she takes a, a booking. Right. She used to say, please call if you have to change or cancel your reservation. And then pause. Let them fill it with a commitment to do it. And no shows unannounced no shows dropped at Gordon's restaurant by 62% that day. And never went back up for two words because they engaged the power that they had to do. The psychological power of wanting to be consistent with a public commitment that you have made. I love that. You know, you, you've found out with the guy Chris Voss. Oh, yeah. Yes. I think he's great. I was at them last week and I know him really well. I actually met him through Joe. I was like, I'm going to go to the restaurant and I'm going to go to the restaurant. I'm going to go to the restaurant. I'm going to go to the restaurant. I was with him last week and I know him really well. I actually met him through Joe. Yeah. And one of the things he said is instead of asking people, hey, you got him in at the chat, Robert or Bob. Yeah. He says, have you given up? Have you given up on looking for a garage? Have you given up on? Yeah. I've just, he always wants to get know out of people to get rid of the know. Get rid of the know. Because not people are really excited to say no. Then they're committed to saying, I haven't given up. So what's the next step? Yeah. What's logically congruent with I haven't given up? Well, brilliant. I've got a friend who's a, a, a, a Boy Scout leader. Yeah. He's got two kids in the Boy Scout and he sells popcorn outside of supermarkets. Okay. He sets up a desk and people come out and they, they sell them popcorn, right, as they leave. And he said to me, we're having a terrible time. We're only getting about 15% of the people who come out who want to buy our popcorn. I like, I can understand why. If you wanted popcorn, you had bought it in the shop and you already spent your, your budget. You're not on, so I said, well, what do you, what do you say to them when they approach? We say, excuse me, would you like to buy some popcorn? It would help the Boy Scouts, right? Yeah. We only get 15%. So I tried this. Excuse me. Do you support the Boy Scouts? Everybody says yes. And then you say, would you like to buy some popcorn? Order of operations. And it goes from 15% to 52%. Oh my God. And here's the best part of it. People, some people say, you know, I don't really want your popcorn, but I support the Boy Scouts. So here's five bucks. So I've done that all the time where I'm like, I don't really, I don't want popcorn. But here's something because you committed yourself in these cases of these people, they committed themselves to favoring and being supporting the Boy Scouts. Now, what's consistent with that? I love that. All right, social proof. Let's run over that one. That's the one that says, people say yes to you. You can show them that a lot of other people like them have been doing what you're recommending them to do. So like right now, I could pull up a map on my iPad and show you everybody in your neighborhood that's bought a new garage. That's right. That's a good example. That's exactly right. Yeah. Or just to say, look, a lot of your neighbors that we have good things to say about us, you know, because we've been able to say, oh, okay, now I know that people like me who are comparable to me are having a good experience with you. Right? So McDonald's does this study. You know, the McDonald's sells hamburgers, drinks and fries. But they also offer dessert. So we all have upscale. We all have upsells that we would like people to add on to it. So they're not getting a lot of people buying dessert. So my colleague, Steven J. Marston in the UK does this study where he has the receptionist say, would you like a dessert? All right. For half of them, for the other half, he says, would you like a dessert? And then he tells them that the McFlurry is our most popular dessert here among the people who come here. Yeah. And he gets, and they get 55% more people buying dessert. I think everybody I know there's this new product we're getting ready to work with. And it says, so you get the options and it's most popular. Top choice. Top choice. And even if you could go further and put 977 customers have bought this choice versus, that's a simple thing of consistency. Is that social proof? Social proof. Social proof. Social proof. I mean, by the way, you know how on your website, you can have 960, we have 967 forced R and 5 star reviews. Yep. Here's what you should say. We have 967, 4 and 5 store reviewers. Not reviews. What are you, what's in your mind when you say, those are check marks on us. Reviewers. Those are people. Yeah. Just like me who have said this, that's what you want at the top of consciousness. That image. Now love that. Now authority is pretty simple, but let's just talk about authority. When people are uncertain, they don't look inside of themselves to decide what to do in a lot of times. People aren't sure they want to move in your direction, right? But if you give them evidence that people who are legitimate authorities have praised your product or your approach, your business, whatever it is, like Chris Vosser, Joe Polisher, if you put that at the top of your presentation before they have seen one word of it, they're more likely to say yes, because everything they see now is infused with the credibility of the experts who reduce their uncertainty. Oh yeah. If the experts say this is the way to go, then I believe it. Then I'm likely to go in that direction. So selfishly, I'll ask you for browsers. You might put like the property brothers or Mike Raw or somebody like somebody that's kind of like blue collar, so that's I would say exactly right. Okay. The experts in that field, in that domain. Okay. This is all I just I can't I can do this all day. Liking is just let's cover that. Okay. So and I know I know this. I just you're better. I you made this. Right. So people say yes to know to those they like and here's the key to those who like them. That's what get I've been in a lot of sales training programs and they say the number one rule of sales is get your customer to like you. That works, but it's not the number one rule. Here's the number one rule. Show your customer that you like them. Yeah. And that from you the defense has come down. So what I say is there's three things that need to happen. And I coach three hours today on this training orientation. It's the number one customer needs to like and trust you, right? I mean, they need to know that you're the expert number two. They got to love the company and believe that we're going to back up everything. And number three, they got to feel loved. They got to feel approved. And the way that we do that is we laugh at their jokes. We take notes when they talk. Simple little things like smiling when they when they ask a question, you don't respond right away. You internalize it. You know, it's like Dale Carnegie probably said the same thing is like let them talk. Take a minute. Tell them that was a really great question. And actually maybe even ask them another question on a question to like dig in deeper. That's exactly right. And now there's some new research to show how do you get liking online? Those people don't know you. You can't they're not familiar with you. They're like it's the same thing with TV or radio. Yeah. So it turns out there's a study that was done that shows that if you have a welcoming statement on your landing page of your website, you get significantly more conversions. Before again, before they've ever read a word of your offer or business, you've put them in a state of a prove that you've a prove you approve of them. You've welcomed them. And you get significantly more conversion. Isn't it true? Again, it's ethical. I want you to welcome the people who come to your site. Don't you want to welcome them? Of course, you just didn't say it. It didn't go to top of consciousness. And so give me the exact because you've done the research. I do it on my website. Yeah. I've looked at this. Hello. I'm so glad. Welcome. I'm so glad you decided to join us. I look forward to working with you. That's all. Welcome. The first thing you say. And scarcity. People want more of those things they can have less of. Right? Okay. So if you can show people how what you have is unique or uncommon or rare that they can't get it from your rivals. They want it more from you. And sometimes it's not any one thing. And here's what A1 does. You have a combination of strengths that nobody can match. And what you can do is put together that suite of strengths that nobody else can play. Yeah. And it's again, it's ethical because it's true. Yeah. You haven't exaggerated. You haven't manufactured. You haven't counter-fitted anything. But you've pressed a lever that is psychologically meaningful for people. Yeah. I love this stuff, man. I can't tell you. Okay. So let's jump into two questions. Or just, you know, you call and tell me when we're running low because I got, I'm right here on two pages. So let's go back in time. You're in your 20s. You get to go back and talk to yourself. What's a few pieces of game-changing advice they give long, young Robert Chedini? Okay. One is a quote from Benjamin Franklin who said, if you wish to persuade, speak not to argument, speak to self-interest of the recipient. You have to think, you have to, now here's where empathy comes in. You have to put yourself in that person's situation. The challenges that person is in at the moment, the circumstances surrounding this thing. And you tell them what they will benefit from the exchange with you, from being not what, why it's good for you. But why it exactly will benefit them and the things like scarcity and uniqueness that you can only provide and so on and dealing with somebody they like and who likes them. Those are exactly the kinds of things you can say that aren't just, oh, you're going to save money here. No, you're going to get a partner who likes you. You're going to get a set of strengths that you can't get in. Those are the kinds of, that's one thing. I would say to myself from 20. And here's the other one. People don't sink the boats they're riding in. And your job as a communicator is to put the recipient of your communication in your boat with you. Weeness. I mean, togetherness. So anything you can do, all right. So for example, the marketing practice that has been most successful over the last couple of decades is co-creation where you ask your customers to help you create the next iteration, the next generation of your products or service or to tell you the things that they would like you to most enhance and those things that they might like you to draw. Whatever you get them to advise you. And they're in the boat with you. And they're in the boat with you. Yeah. I love that. And they don't know. When you ask them, here's the thing that our, the Chalene Institute is doing now. We're looking for the smallest things you can change that produce these effects for each of the principles of influence, right? Like two words or a welcoming thing. The smallest things that don't cost you anything, right. When you ask them to help you and get, provide their input into the next generation, right? To get them in the boat with you, don't ask for their opinion. When you ask for their opinion, you get a critic. You get somebody who steps away from you, who backs away. And literally they're not in the boat. They're looking at you. If you change one word and you ask for their advice, you get a partner, you get a collaborator and the research, it's pretty clear. It shows not only do they have more positive attitudes towards your brand, if you've asked for their advice, they give you better input and recommendations on what you should say because they're in the boat with you. Yeah. I need to change what I phrase because a lot of times I'm like, don't give me the good. Just give me the bad and ugly because I don't need to be told everything we do well. I just want to go right to, I don't like meetings that I'm like the first four, 25 minutes or what went well. Let's just, hey, guys, great job. Records. Awesome. We did well. Well, let's talk about the things we need to do because I think there's a lot of meetings that just go to waste. There's not nobody taking minutes. There's no agenda. It's more of a brainstorming session. But yeah, getting the advice and collaboration. Hey there. Hope you're enjoying today's episode. Listen, 2026 is going to be a gold rush in home service. And I want to make sure you're ready for it at our Freedom 2025 event. Kevin O'Leary from Shark Tank, multiple $100 million plus contractors and other industry experts all said the same thing. We're entering the perfect storm of opportunity. Three massive changes are hitting the industry all at once. First, AI has made it incredibly easy and cheap to create great ads and generate leads. Plus homeowners are already using AI instead of Google to find contractors. 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That's home service expert.com for slash bootcamp and are dial us a checkout for 50% off only 90 spots. All right, back to the episode. I got a question about, you know, it's a money question, but I wanted to divert this question because I already know you'd done something with Charlie Munger Warren Buffett and Brookshire. I love that story. And I think you own a little bit of a brush. You're halfway. Can you tell that story? 25 years ago, I went to my mailbox and there's an envelope legal size envelope and I opened it up and it's a single share. It's on paper. It back in 25 years ago, that's they were, you know, they weren't just digitally sent to you. It's a single share of Brookshire Hathaway A Stock and it's worth $75,000. And there's a note attached from Charlie Munger who was, you know, was renowned as the brains of Brookshire Hathaway. And that's a high bar because Warren Buffett is the other guy at the top. He's the, okay, it's, and, and the note from Charlie says, the first chapter in your book influence is about the rule for reciprocation that we are obligated to give back to others who have given value to us. We have made so much money from your book that you're entitled to this $75,000, okay? And I was in a, I was in a chair with, with wheels on it. I read that and I shot, I knocked me back in my chair and I rolled into the wall behind me. But I kept that share. The paper share, I still have it in my filing cabinets. It's now worth $735,000 for one share. Oh my God. Buffett and Munger are such amazing influence, they're amazing influencers, but they're amazing financial investors. And I just held it because a, that's from Charlie Munger. That is so cool. The late Charlie Munger. The late Charlie, he died one month before his 100th birthday. Buffett and I were, we're planning to go to his birthday party and we had our tickets and we had our hotel recommend and then he, he passed. And so it was, it was a tragedy. I love reading their books. I mean, they're like, invest some things you understand and you don't need to buy a lot of things you get behind it. You think about Coca-Cola and some of the things they got behind early. You know, Geico is there for us? I just think this is a cool story about how wait, waiters and waitresses can earn 23% but use no law of reciprocation. It's a cool story. Yeah. And again, research is not just my hunter speculation. If, if a waiter comes to the table with a, you know, the bill on a tray, that's the control group. All right. How much do they tip? If the waiter puts a single candy, a mint on the tip, tips go up 13%. If the waiter puts two mints on the table on the tray for each diner and two, really two for us two, they go up 17%. I love this walk away. Here's though, yes, you remember this. If the waiter puts one on the tray and walks away and then turns around and comes back and uses approval and says, you know what? For you nice people because you've been such good guests, gives them liking, right? And puts the second mint down in front of them. The tip goes up 23%. Right? So he's got reciprocity and liking in that combined and you get these gangbusters results. I mean, I actually want to ask you this to poke some holes in it. So we've got some things that are high value low cost, like a search protector and a magnetic deco hard work kit. And so me and Luke have been talking about this and saying, look, Bob, you've been a great client of ours. Second time we've come out here, I want you to pick whichever one you think would be the highest value because you've been such a great client and then walk out to the truck and grab it. Let me think about this. We'd like to give you both. I want to look with that. That would. I just I want to make sure I do this right. That's great. But I'm going to say if you don't have the resources to have those kinds of gifts available, give them a list of tips they can use not for their garage door for their house. So you're not this isn't something that you're selling them to as a sales device. It's just because you want them to be to have better outcomes in their home, right? Or a card that you can put on they can put on their little tips for saving energy, little tips for fire safety, little tips, right? Give them that as a starter anyway. Or they ever decide to go with you. Go first, give them something first. That's the whole idea about why we offer. So one of the things that really worked on is hey, Bob, and this isn't perfected yet, but we're stopping off. Stop and have a set of 11 kind of grab you cup of coffee, soda, anything you'd like. Most people say, hey, I really appreciate it, but no. And then I'm like, listen, you come to my house. He's going to feed you. Let me get you something. I really want to buy you something. And it's nothing crazy. We brought Apple cider and donuts to a client of Michigan. Yeah. But yeah, I don't want to show up with something like a Red Bull and you hate Red Bull. So it's like, I want to call you to see. Yeah, you know what has worked for us at $25 Starbucks card or a $15 Starbucks card. I love it. Everybody uses that. So let's talk about the power of being liked by you. You said at a study where only 55% of negotiators reached an agreement without any rapport, but 90% when they connected over shared interest beforehand. So how does that work? So like that would be me walking into a garage and there's a fishing pole or a set of golf clubs or a football, whatever. But now we have an ally in the internet and people tell us about them and their interests and their hobbies, their backgrounds, the Facebook. And so they want us to know it's not like and we're and again, you don't invent any of it. Where you hit the commonality, you like to fish too. Yeah, that's essential. Then you've got honest connection that you can enjoy an exchange at and those people love you for it. Social proof is everywhere. Reviews, likes, followers, you know, it's everywhere now. Do you think the modern obsession with metrics strengthens or destroys the original psychology behind customer decisions? Provided it's ethical, provided it's on as it strengthens them. But here's the study. Again, I was talking about a study. So if you wrote, if you have, let's say, 90% of of debtists approve of our toothpaste, right? Yeah. If instead you said 89%, you get more conversions because you've shown them your honest and it's up there at eight. It's still up there like this. What you have to be sure of is that you don't because you know, the worst was nine out of 10. That just sounds like you pulled that off the top of your head. What would even be better is 89.2%. Exactly. They mean they know, remember in school, like a math teacher said, don't just give me the answer. Show your work. Yeah. If you've got 89.2, you did your work to find the real statistics. They're going to, honest, you're going to see your honesty. Yeah. Yeah. They just came out with a study that the garage door improves your home's value by 268% and there was a massive double blind stuff like they did it the right way is to share the research and just show them show your work to. Yeah. Not just almost 290% no, 268. What was it? 268. Yeah. And what we're going to do, check this out. I think this is the coolest thing right at the end. The first door you go is going to show your house on the Zillow before and after. Wow. Which is I think a pretty good idea because it's an investment into your home. Wall Street Journal just came out and said, before you think about remodeling your bathrooms it might not be worth it, but your garage door is. You know what, Tommy, you're interviewing me, but I learn from you in these interviews too. No, I love this stuff. So, you've worked with, I mean, literally influence the workings of it, getting to yes all the books have been used by everyone from the Fortune 500 companies to political campaigns. What's one example where you've seen the principles brilliantly used and one where they were not being used the right way? Okay, so I'll give you an example of the right way to do it. And in the same situation, not the wrong way to do it. Okay. In CEO reports to their customers, to their team members and shareholders, right? They tell you all the things that went right that year. They build themselves up to tell you all the things that went right there. And then at the end, if at all, they tell you what went wrong, right? Why should you believe them? Right? What's their credibility? How have they established their credibility? If they just, like everybody else, are pulling the positivity blanket over you, your face, right? Here's what Warren Buffett does. And every letter to his shareholders, he first mentions something that went wrong that year. And he establishes his credibility as being an honest broker of information to them. And then he says, but or however, or nonetheless, and then he goes into the strengths. I've been getting these, and I'm telling you, it works on me every time. Because now I'm, I'm, I'm processing the strengths differently than before. Because I know they're coming from an honest person who's willing to talk not just about the strengths, but the weaknesses. And then give me evidence that wipes out the weaknesses. Here are the strengths, right? That just, well, plus there's the idea that your 75,000 shares now and almost 800,000 shares. That's right. But I'm telling you that that man is brilliant. He is brilliant. So I wouldn't, I wouldn't mind having people say, you know, we're not, we're not the least expensive in the here in town or in our industry. But you know what? L'Oreal cosmetics had a marketing campaign that said, where expensive, but you're worth it. Increased market share by 300%. Oh, wow. Going down the barrier of doubt, am I, should I believe this person? You tell them something that is true, but may not be all that great that you're, you're not the least expensive, but, but here's, here's what wipes out that because you're worth it. I should tell you that the first version of that, that ad was, we're expensive, but we're worth it. And it didn't work. You're making possess the make it about them, make it about self interest. Just thinking through that, you know, a lot of times people will say, wow, that's more than I thought it was going to be. And a lot of times I tell the guy say, yeah, it's an investment because, because you're worth it, because you're worth it. Because you look, you know, I never really bought anything that I like, I like nice things. Do you like nice things? I do. Yeah. So I've never really got a deal on anything that I really appreciate it. But no, the right words matter. And then the way in which we deliver the message matters. And I think there's a lot of misconception and you can follow the script, but unless you could actually internalize it, it's kind of like a mechanic that knows how to fix things because he sees it's broken. But the guy that knows how it all works is so much more advanced. Of course. I love that because it's the difference between being a short order cook in a chef. Yeah. A short order cook just follows the recipe over and over and over and the chef thinks about the combination and the what's the freshest and what's the season and so on and puts together something based on the flavor and the circumstances. That's the person who wins the day. So you argue that what happens before the message is delivered oftentimes to determine the success. Can you explain what that means? It has to do with another book I've written called pre-swashing. Yeah. Which says that it's not only what you put in your message and that's what the book influences all about. What are the psychological principles that you embed in the message to cause people to want to move in your direction? Pre-swashing says what do you put in the moment before you send your message to make it more likely that people will resonate to that message. And the answer is you have to put something in their minds that is aligned with the strength of the message that they have yet to receive. I'll give you an example from Norwegian cruise lines. One holiday season, they sent out a message to all of their previous customers that if you book a cruise during this holiday season, you will get a big discount, right? That was in an email, right? And when you open the email, you see a clock ticking down with fewer and fewer moments until the budget, the bargain goes away. So it's a limited time. I'm limited time, I'm not sure. So it's scarcity, essentially. It's scarcity. If you don't do this, it'll be lost to you. Right. Half of the people got the email and in the subject line was... No, it was budget, or bargain, bargain for it fares. The other half got that same thing with two ticking down clock emojis. So they were primed for the concept of scarcity of... Oh, yeah. Before they got to it, and 16% more of them booked the flight about the cruise, because you put in their consciousness, readiness to experience the strength of your message before they even got to it. I love that idea. So one of the things I'm working on is getting the CEO of the Grazler manufacturer to literally give us on a package, like really include extra trim and do the extra strut and the op bracket. They'll do that because we're a big client. And I want them to make the video and say for this quarter and this quarter, only this is why we did this because they wanted one of the largest purchase of Grazlers in North America delivered from them and just say, this is real. And I want to be completely real about it. Like we're not making this up. This isn't limited. This is just last this quarter. Yeah. I don't know. I got to work on these things because I don't think they're perfect yet, but these are... I get all these ideas and I just need to craft them perfectly. I want to do a real life demonstration of your methods of influence and real time. And so, and listen, I don't mean to put you on the spot. If this doesn't go well, we could try something else. But try to convince me not to read your book. Do it in a way that actually makes me want to read it. Okay. You know, that book is written for an audience of intelligent lay people, people who are not trained in psychology, but who are interested in psychology. So if you're not interested in the psychology, I don't want you reading it. I don't want you wasting your time on persuasion if that's not important to you. Yeah, that's really good. I love it. Okay. This is the last one. Pretend that I don't believe in persuasion techniques that really work. I know it sounds ridiculous. And that I think people are too smart for your methods. How would you try to change their mind? I show them the results. I show them the data. The data. Everything's about the data. Everything's about the data. About, so you say it this way and you get this many people who say yes to you. You say it this way and you get this man. And I show them the bars. I show them the difference. Whop. You say it this way. Whop. You say it this other way that's consistent with the principles of saying, whop. Man, so many opportunities. Show them the data. This is a personal question. So, you know, the first four letters of culture are cults. And it cults, it's a bad word, I guess, but call it a team. And you're getting people aligned. You could call it a brotherhood or a sisterhood. You know, we have one of 900 people here. And I believe I want the best things. I want to take care of our clients more importantly, I want to take care of the people. But I need them to believe. And I need them to know they're doing the right thing for the client. And some of them think that's a lot of money yet they live in apartment, not a pair of Jordans in a Nike teacher that cost $300. But if you really feel like you're doing the ethical thing and you're doing the right thing by clients, how would you build more of a following, especially I'm the founder. And there's a lot of people that listen that are the founders of their business. And they want to have people, and I know it goes both ways. I mean, listen, that means I'm taking that time to listen to them. I care about them. I care about their future, their dreams. But what would be the best way to create that community? Put them in the boat with you. Put them in the boat with you and show them the unity, the togetherness, the partnership, the value and the self-interest of being in that strong, speedy, powerful boat with you. Then you get both Ben Franklin's self-give them self-interest and you get the quote, put them in the boat with you. People don't sink the boats. They're riding it. Oh, I can't wait. I got a few people that I'm going to give this to. We're just going to go brainstorm with my house for a day. I'm going to just go through rapid fire. Then we'll close it out. What do you think is the biggest misconception people have about human behavior? That it's cognitively based rather than emotional. What's one book other than your own that you'd recommend to every high achiever? Dan Pink's to sell is a human. Okay. What's harder? Changing minds or changing habits? Changing habits is harder because again, you can change. You can get people to agree to do something, but that's not the same as getting them to implement that intention or that belief. That's the thing. Get them to engage in a habit that captures the belief. That's what you're focused on as implementation. What are some of the steps people take to really? Instead of understanding and learning, how do they apply it? This is what we have learned. Give them small steps because if you give them these big changes that they have to make, it's just sometimes too much. They've busy days, busy schedule. They're not going to change the way that they have been doing things, especially if they've been somewhat successful. Are you giving them one word or are you giving them a welcoming statement to put on? Then you get the steps. Get them to take those steps and now that's a commitment in your direction. Love it. What's one thing that never stops surprising you about people from a psychological perspective? They think that they're less persuadable than they actually are. They think that this wouldn't work on me. Oh, yeah, these principles may work on other people, but they wouldn't work on me. It's just not true. These principles work and the evidence is they work in a general universal way. You know, why? So there's a book called Driven by Brockman is the guy's name and 5% of the world is hunters. I guess 95% are more of farmers. And there's a lot more monkeys going on in here and we're more subject to be, but enough is never enough. This is a personal question. It's like you reach the pinnacle of success. Could be faith. Could be family. Could be physical. You know, it could be even financially, but the goal post always moves. And I'm just curious from your point of view, I'm sure you've seen these people. I mean, you might, you know, you still go to A.S.U. you still do massive research and you know, I just, I never felt this feeling like I've arrived. And I think there's a lot of people out there that feel the same way and we're more prone to be called dyslexic or ADHD and everything else. So yet Einstein was dyslexic and probably considered ADHD and if you look at Elon Musk and some of the best brains out there, what do you say to somebody that by the way I need farmers around me, I can't get anything done without great people. But what, when you, you've met these people. Sure. And so what do you tell them? What are, I value them. Yeah. I value their, their differentiation from the night, other 95%. But I'll tell you something that I think they need to understand that makes it okay to be that driven person. I'm going to go back to Charlie Munger. And he was a capitalist to the bone, right? But he was what I'll call an inclusive capitalist. He said to me once the purpose of accumulating wealth is to be in a position to help people who are in peril. Yeah. Well, that's what I think the Bible says that too. And so now you've got the resources to do that, to help it in a broader way. Yeah. And blaming yourself for collecting those that wealth, accumulating that wealth because it's put you in a position to be a helper. I love that. You know, one of the things we've always said is you can't take it with you, right? Right. Two more questions. Do you have any habits that have changed your life? Yeah. Research. Here's the one that has worked for me all the most, I would say, in terms of pushing me ahead. And that is when I have some task that is arduous or negative or bother, you know, it's just not a fun thing to do. There's a lot. I get rid of it by getting done with this. I don't procrastinate by diverting myself or displacing myself from that task. I mean, I don't do that. I get through it. That makes it go away rather than putting my mind on something else, right? I had a client in the first time in years. I had a call, bad experience. We fixed her door four times. She goes, we should have just out from you, a new one. And this was Sunday. And she only wanted to talk to me. So I went in a quiet spot and I said, Hey, Pat, how are you? It's Tommy. She does not doing so good. And I said, listen, let me just make sure I understand what went on here. And by the way, I was the guy in the truck for the first 10 years. And this whole situation is embarrassing. And we're better than this. And I'm so sorry we wasted your time. And so she went on and went on and went on. And I said, well, first and foremost, the four technicians that were out there are having a one on week, one on one with me this week. And I'm going to figure out a way to make this right. So I said, Pat, what do you think we should do from here? And what's fair based on the time that you've spent and wasted? And she's like, I've already talked to my friends and my neighbors. I'm retired. She will go into her story. And I said, and I'm here to make it right. And she said, here's what I think we should do. And I said, then why don't we just do that then? And then she said, now that all this is going to be in writing. And I said, it's going to be in writing. I said, I'm going to check on you tomorrow morning on Monday. And she said, and it's good. I'm not paying till I get paid. And I get the warranty on the services. And I said, it's all going to be in writing. We're going to get it painted. She goes, now we got the windows. And I said, yes, everything. It's going to be everything. So sometimes it just like, we screwed up your time for something. Let's make it right. And that happens. What I love about what you said was, what can we, I mean, you brought her in. What can we do together to make this right? You tell us. So now she's in the boat with you. Yeah, I didn't think about that. You use the word we. I like that. I mean, these little solts. Not what can anyone do for you? What can the two of us do to make this right? Yeah. No, it's genius. All right, last thing. And then we just closing questions, final thoughts. And then we'll get out of here and go to dinner. When's the last time someone changed your mind about something and persuaded you? And you know, it probably happens on a daily basis. So maybe something a bigger thing. It could have been, you know, I don't know. It could be geopolitical. It could be anything. But not, not, not like got you to go to a different restaurant. I mean. No, it was Bobette and I saw a movie together. And then we talked about it. And I didn't like it. And then we talked about it. And she started bringing up things I didn't even see. And I went from negative to wanting to see it again. Well, movie. It was called Anatomy of a Fall. Oh my gosh. That is really cool. Man, your brain is just, it's like still wired perfectly. It's just, you're just on it. I can't believe it did the role play thing. It's amazing. Yeah, well, listen, you've got so much going on. You know, what are you excited about here in the next few months going into the next year? We've got a program coming up in December that I'm really excited about. We're going to bring in a very small number of people in 75 people and really focus on moving them from a level of understanding of the principles of influence to a level of knowing how to apply them optimally. I, I'm sending. I'm sending a couple guys. So we're sending that up. So listen, I'll give you the final thoughts. Close us out. I can't be at this event. It's December 5th and 6th, but I'm going to have a couple people there on my team. So yeah, give us some final thoughts. I'll let you close us out. Here's what I'm going to, my final thoughts, select the right people for that event, the people who can articulate what they learned, not just to you, but to their peers. All right, I'm on it. Well listen, Bob, as always, it's a pleasure to have you always inspired, excited, kind of just giggle to myself like, because these things are, they're simple, but they're the hard, you just kind of do a little bit of the work and I like the bite sizes. Yeah. I like that idea because you read the book and you're like, there's a million things to do, but just get a couple right and then watch it work and then you're a believer for life. So thanks again for being here and thank you, Bob. I enjoyed it. I mean, yeah, it's always fun. Hey there, thanks for tuning into the podcast today. Before I let you go, I want to let everybody know that elevate is out and ready to buy. I can share with you how I attracted a winning team of over 700 employees in over 20 states. The insights in this book are powerful and can be applied to any business or organization. It's a real game changer for anyone looking to build and develop a high performing team like over here at A1 Grasdor service. So if you want to learn the secrets, tell me, transform my team from stealing the toilet paper to a group of 700 plus employees, growing in the same direction, head over to elevate and win.com, for slash podcast and grab a copy of the book. Thanks again for listening and we'll catch up with you next time on the podcast.