438: The Athlete’s Mindset: How to Cultivate Mental and Physical Strength, Discipline + Performance without Burnout with Gabby Reece

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. This is Well, a podcast about wellness in all its forms. I'm Arielle Laurie, and each week I'm sharing unfiltered conversations with the people shaping how we feel, live, and look. Come for the substance, stay for the honesty, and leave with the tools to be well inside and out. I am so excited about today's episode. My guest is somebody that I have genuinely wanted to have on the show for years. I'm talking top of my list for as long as I can remember. And I don't say that lightly. So I am talking to the one and only Gabby Reese. She is one of those people who has lived so many chapters already, elite athlete. She's a cultural icon, businesswoman, partner, mother. And what I am most drawn to is how grounded she is in all of it. So I think from the outside, Gabby can come across as very serious and very disciplined, which she is. But when you actually talk to her, she has this dry sense of humor and she has this kind of subtle, playful energy that I was really drawn to. She's thoughtful without being heavy. She is confident without being performative. And she is so firm in her identity, which I found to be so inspiring. And what really stood out to me in this conversation is her emphasis on mental and emotional strength and boundaries, not just physical performance. As a lifelong athlete, she talks a lot about resilience and self-trust and discipline and how those skills translate far beyond sports into relationships, aging, and life itself. So this is really one of those conversations that feels grounding and expansive at the same time. I think it's a little unexpected. I think you're going to be pleasantly surprised that while we are talking about some of her wellness fundamentals, we are talking a lot about her mindset. And I think I already said this, I found it to be so inspiring. And I am repeating it because that was really one of my main takeaways here. So if you enjoy it, definitely go follow Gabby on social and listen to the Gabby Reese show for real expert insights, conversations, and a lot of inspiration on how to live and perform well in every sense of the word. It's such a great show. She's such a great follow. And I think I told her in this episode, just a beacon because she walks the walk. She does not just talk the talk and she has had such a fascinating life. So please enjoy Gabby Reese. Gabby Reese, welcome. Thank you for having me. I just went on your show. I feel like we have to put that out there. So everybody goes and listens to that. We had a great conversation. Yeah, you were great. Thank you. Likewise. I like to start my interviews this year at least with one question and that is what makes you well what makes me well is I I've said this a few times but I've really gotten to like a real focus on I have a level of selfishness and kind of caring for myself my training centers me in a way that then I can be all the things for everybody, whether it's my husband or my daughters or my business life. But this idea of sort of making sure I do something that I can take care of myself so that that in itself makes me feel relaxed and also more capable to take everything else on. And well for me is not perfect. Well for me is I'm eating well, I'm trying to get to bed, I'm moving my body, but it's not in pursuit of perfection. It's in pursuit of an ability to have distance from stimulus and response and setting me up to try to show up in the world as the person I'm hoping to be. I love that answer. And I was just thinking as you were talking of something we were talking about on your podcast, which was about kind of these misguided goals, right? And we were talking specifically about like being happy, being happy all the time. But it's so interesting to hear you apply it to that as well. Like people think that everyone's out here doing all of the things all of the time and doing it perfectly and that the goal is perfection. And to hear from somebody like you, you're an athlete, you wear a lot of hats, but athlete is one of them. And to hear that your goal isn't perfection either. It's really about showing up and about having that pause, right? And that regulation that we were talking about a lot. I think that's probably so helpful for people to hear. Well, and the idea for me is like, it's not all the things. It's whatever you're able to do that day. It's the notion of pursuit of excellence, which even means like your emotional hygiene. Like if I'm eating, I'm just gonna do the best that I can. So I'm committing that whether I'm talking to you or I'm at the grocery store interacting with the checkout person, I'm in pursuit of my best self. So that's either my kindest self, my strongest self, my most honest self, my most hardworking self. And I use that as the litmus. And you can get a lot done when you do it that way. Instead of, well, I blew it here, so I'm a loser and so I can't do it. It's like, okay, now I'm in a new situation, pursuit of excellence, and just try to do your best wherever you are on that day. I love that. And something that I really wanted to delve into today with you was the mindset and the performance piece, because you are so committed. I mean, anybody can listen to your podcast. They can go to your Instagram. They can see the work that you do yourself and with your husband and with others. You are committed to your body. You're committed to strength. You're committing to being the best version of yourself. And I think that's what a lot of people strive for, but they don't know exactly how to do that themselves and what that looks like. And I know that I think I was listening to you maybe on Shawn Stevenson's podcast. You were like, I'm not the person to tell people what to do. But at the end of the day, people like being told what to do. So we might not necessarily be telling people what to do, but I would just like to get inside your mind and what drives you so that people can take what applies to them and then leave the rest. I think my, my real drive, people wouldn't think, cause they think it's like, I'm a, you know, coming from sports. It's like, you're a grinder, you work hard. But what I've learned is the fuel for my drive, weirdly, even though I'm, it wouldn't be the most obvious thing about me is I have a constant practice of gratitude, but it's not in the way that sometimes we're taught gratitude shows up. I think a lot of times we think it's something I have to go, stop, look at the sun. My gratitude is like I'm picking it up all day long. Oh, that was a nice interaction. Look at the beautiful flower. That meal was really good. I love that person so much. I'm so grateful they're in my life. I have this body that's relatively healthy. Listen, when you're an athlete, I have an artificial knee. You have aches and pains. it's the way it is but feeling and experiencing it little all day long is fuel for I'm so grateful great what does that mean okay I'm going to show up I'm really going to try to show up if we oh you appreciate your body cool let's take care of it you appreciate that person display some kind of appreciation or how can I make their life better so instead of saying I'm so grateful I'm more of like, okay, I'm going to use that as the fuel. And I would imagine that there's some confirmation bias there. So if you're noticing the little things, that begets more things that you're grateful for. Whereas if you're stuck in the mindset of noticing all the things that are wrong or that need to be fixed or that are not going your way, which is natural. I'm sure we all fall into that. That's all that you're going to notice. So how did you train yourself to start noticing the things that you're grateful for. Because I feel like it is a little bit against our wiring. We were talking on your show about being wired for survival. Yeah, to be scared. Yeah, and to be scanning your environment. What's going on? What's behind there? Is something a threat? Yeah. You know, I'm hypervigilant. I didn't always live with my parents. I was raised with a family friends of my mother who took care of me from age two to seven. My father passed away during that time. And so I was naturally hypervigilant, which is great and a curse because sometimes you can project so far into the future that you're just never here. And so I think what happened early for me was having people in my life that kind of stepped in where some of the gaps were. And I remember even being a kid thinking, this probably isn't normal. And I feel really grateful for this. And then it's like having coaches that stepped in when I was in my last few years of high school, having a college coach that really was there for me, then having opportunities, right? So going to school in an athletic scholarship for a girl like me, I was like, wow, this is really an opportunity and a gift. So what can I do? I can work really hard and be the best version of myself in this experience. And what that does is I think you start to realize like when you can notice the doors, whether it's a friendship or a job opportunity and go, you've been given a gift, a moment, what do you want to do? I'm going to be a really good steward of this gift. And then I get to be the steward of the gift. And, and also allowing when it's time to let someone else be the steward of that gift, looking forward in my life and saying, oh, there's a new door that's meant for me. I'm going to go be the steward of that gift. instead of clinging on or holding on. You know, it's very easy to do when you're an athlete. It's an identity. You got to keep shedding the identities. You know, I was a 20-year-old woman. I was a 30-year-old woman. I was a 40-year-old woman. I've been a 50-year-old woman. You have to keep moving forward and recognizing these new exciting things that are only for you, but then to work hard, be focused, and also have a strategy. Like, oh, I want to be a good steward. what does that mean? What would a steward do? What are the practices and habits of a steward? And that's really been a helpful tool. Do you actually ask yourself those questions? Like, do you write anything down? How do you do this? Is it all, you mentioned that you're very analytical. Yes. So is it all just happening up here? Okay. It's very, well, and now I have a lot of body of evidence. I know how to do it. And I can recognize if I'm moving towards a habit or saying things that go against what that steward would do because sometimes I trust myself but I don't always trust myself and I am scared often and so I I use the guide of what does that person look like if I'm not able to be that naturally in that moment if I want to you know talk shitty about somebody or you know gossip or be lazy or whatever the things are and I go well the steward of that gift would maybe rise above that and not say that. Or she would get up 30 minutes earlier because it is important to try to train because you got a long day. And use that as a compass when I as the human being who's flawed and scared and, you know, spiteful or whatever the things are and sort of say, yeah, because you know in the end it's going to be better if you trust the guide. You mentioned being scared a few times and fear has always been my big thing. I'm also hypervigilant. And I've talked about this before because I think it's something women especially really resonate with. Not that men don't deal with it too, but the way that I've learned how to deal with that in recovery is to, for me at least, ask whatever I believe in or just the universe or the higher self or whatever. Who would I be without this fear and what would I do? Yeah. And then go out there and try to execute accordingly. Would you say that that's aligned with your strategy too? Or how do you walk through fear? You have a lot of experience. When you're not raised really with your parents, that switch can get turned on pretty early. But the great thing is, is that what you realize is we have so many opportunities to be a different version of ourselves and to take the things that could take us down and use that trait to elevate us. And so what I've always said is like, we're all dealt low cards and high cards. And when I became a teenager, I was pretty pissed off. And I remember thinking, oh, but you got some high cards. Like you have these really cool other people that step in or even my size, which was uncomfortable, you know, at six, three, but then it was sort of worked on the volleyball court and I was, you know, considered strange looking, but then I could somehow go and work in New York and be in fashion. So it was starting to go, what are the high cards? How do I lean on the high cards and be grateful for the high cards and continue to work on the low cards and realize that we're living by a narrative? What are my stories that I'm telling myself? And why would I not tell myself a better story that would work out better for me? And then you learn in neuroscience that these pathways, they get stronger and that muscle gets stronger and it becomes easier, but it does. It is something that you practice. I think that's why meditation is powerful because in a way you're practicing, working on those neuroreceptors going, hey, what's the good news? Look at the sky is so beautiful today. I have so many opportunities. I have these friends. I have this capable body. So I think it's practicing that, but also what are your high cards because we've all been given them. And then to trust that it's okay to do it your way because the world is telling you a million ways to do it. How to talk, how to look, what to like, what to wear, how to move, what to eat. Know what is my way and to really try to develop that practice and then be willing to change it and stay curious. I love that last part, staying curious. staying open I think that that's such an important thing to integrate into your life is curiosity and we talked about that on your show as well to your point you've had different identities right I mean even starting out you probably had different identities when you were modeling and an athlete Did you ever have to compartmentalize those and put one identity on and leave the other and then pick the other one up And how did you navigate that and come through to the other side where you seem so strong in your identity? You know who you are. Yeah, I think even when I was playing volleyball in college and literally working in New York, it was the funniest, weirdest kind of contrast where I would be in New York. And like, I can remember one time I was at a very famous photographer named Albert Watson Studios of the model, perfectly beautiful, perfectly thin, perfect skin. And she was like cutting up like a little apple or something at lunch. And I was like, that does not look fun. And I was big, right? I was a size eight when I was in fashion, which is huge. Back then especially. Yeah. But luckily there was a couple of the girls before me, Rachel Williams and Ashley Richardson and a couple that were big girls and they were really successful so I think they cleared the runway a little bit for us or for me I should say because there wasn't too many other girls my size and then I remember getting on a plane flying to Tallahassee going into practice and my teammates were there and they're all like trying to be as big as possible like banging iron and doing all these things maybe their skin wasn't perfect maybe a little bit you know their butts were big or whatever, more robust, more fun, more confident. So really early, 18, 19, I thought, oh, okay, being perfectly anything is not going to be the answer for me feeling good and me feeling confident. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to try to pay attention to the tools that are given to me and try to develop those tools and just show up with them. And so that, I got to do that really early because the juxtaposition was so strong that it was like clear as day if you were paying attention. And I was like, oh, being perfectly smart or perfectly pretty, that's not going to solve my internal angst. And conversely with sports, right? Like being really strong and good at something wasn't going to be the answer for being like a whole person because that was just a part. And, and so it was kind of always working with the in and the out kind of all the time to the best of my ability. And so, yeah, I would be sort of one person, but I was really always a version of myself, whether I was in a studio or on a court or, you know, just hanging out with my friends. Yeah. I feel like you're so lucky that you got to have that experience. I talked to a lot of people, we were talking about beauty and the beauty industry and I know a lot of plastic surgeons and people who work with models and actresses and some of the most beautiful people in the world as far as beauty standards go and they say they're the most insecure and I know even for myself when I was striving for perfection counting the macros and doing the bbg and all of that the thinner and leaner I got the more flaws I saw and the further the goalpost was for me. And I think that that is such a common thing, but sometimes you have to learn it yourself. So it's amazing that you were able to have that such a strong contrast so that you didn't have to go down that road necessarily. I want to talk about something that I know so many of you deal with, especially as adults, which is acne that doesn't respond to the usual fixes. So for years, my skin issues when I was struggling with acne felt like a constant trade-off. A lot of anti-acne products would dry me out. That is their approach to acne and they would irritate my skin and honestly, make me look older and most anti-aging products would clog my pores and break me out. And it just felt like a no-win situation that I know so many of you can relate to, which is why I was so intrigued by Clear Stem. It is the first acne brand that actually connects the dots between what's happening inside your body and on your skin. Without using pore clogging ingredients, their entire skincare line is made with zero pore cloggers, which sounds obvious, but is shockingly rare. And what I really love is that Clear Stem isn't about just slapping a bandaid on breakouts. They focus on getting to the root cause, especially when it comes to hormonal acne. I am obsessed with their internal supplement, MindBodySkin. It went viral on TikTok for a reason. It helps to support stress hormones and targets hormonal breakouts without harsh side effects. While their topicals work to improve texture, redness, and post-acne marks, so it finally feels like a system that works with your skin instead of against it. So discover the ClearStem difference because ClearSkin changes everything. Go to clearstem.com slash well and use the code well at checkout for 15% off your first order. That's clearstem.com slash well, code well for 15% off. We are talking about the importance of listening to your body in this episode, but Gabby also stresses the importance of essentially looking under the hood and making sure that you are getting lab tests and knowing what's going on inside your body. However, I think so many women have had the experience of feeling like something is off in our bodies, but we can't get a straight answer. And when lab results come back, fine. Deep down, we know something still isn't. This loop of uncertainty is exhausting and HERS understands. 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That's P-I-Q-U-E life.com slash well for 20% off. you've always talked about strength being as much internal as physical how has your definition of strength changed from then to now and throughout your career well certainly when I was younger and the discovery of like being physically strong you know it was like I want to jump higher I want to hit the ball harder I want to lift more weights I want to present as strong and then you start to see the chinks in that armor and you realize how do I when it gets tough not squirm how do I stay calm how do I you know listen nothing will test you more than interpersonal relationships and I can tell you as a parent that's the thing that could take you down the most right like you could you could go your kid could be going through something and you don't want to be a parent that's like, how could this happen? That's not the way you're supposed to be, right? You're supposed to be the adult. And so I really started to bolt on to what that definition was first in my marriage, because it was like, oh, how do I show up when it is uncomfortable or we're going through hard things or we're in conflict? Am I showing up as a real strong person or as a pretend strong person who at the moment that I get pressed, I crumble emotionally. And then you graduate if you decide to have children and you go through things inevitably that are challenging. And it's like, how do I look for answers that I don't have? I don't know. This is new terrain for me. How do I seek out help or information? And so for me, Strong has been something that has sort of expanded as you know I have tried to expand so that maybe I can show up in the world as somebody who's pretty sound because I do think we need adults I think we live in a kind of chaotic time and it would be really important for me at this age to be somebody where maybe a younger person could look at me my 30 year old friends my teenage daughters and they think you know she's kind of an adult. And I mean that in the real ways where I don't play dirty. I don't try to manipulate. I take a pause. If I don't know, I say, I don't know. I know how to hold space for people. And when I'm scared or beat down, I can go to my husband and say, you know what? I'm a little upside down right now. Even within that, being able to acknowledge, like, I think I, I need to can I lean on you? You know, can I express something that's ugly about my feelings right now? And just always taking a look at it. And we always say like keeping everything clear and clean, pulling the weeds as a little weed sprouts up, being willing to, okay, grab it. And so strong has become something much wider and hopefully it continues to get wider where there's like acceptance and less worry, those things are starting to show up. I don't judge everything. I go, oh, that's where that person is in their life. Or this is really hard, but I'm not going to worry about it. Yeah. I feel like some of that comes with age as well. I mean, I'm younger than you, but when we were talking on your show about some of my growth, I'm like, yeah, some of it is life experience and some of it is just like, yeah, like you can't learn it any other way. No, that's the beauty of you get a few more fine lines, but man, you can't shortcut or buy experience. Yeah. And it's yours. Yeah. Do you feel better now than you ever felt in your life? I do. I do. I, you know, listen, you see young people and you go, man, that's awesome. Yeah. And then you also think, oh, I don't know if I want to have to go through that again. Yeah. Yeah. I ask because we have such a fear of aging in our society and culture and particularly like in LA. I mean, we're in the hot spot of it, but it's everywhere. And there is some interesting, you know, longevity science, both when it comes to things like physical strength and health span, but also aesthetics. But I think it's interesting that pretty much unanimously, everybody that I talk to who is older, whether they're in their 40s, 50s, 60s, even 70s, they're like, oh no, I feel best now. Maybe give or take some physical things, especially the older you get. Yeah. But mentally, I think that is encouraging. Well, I think it's like the plan, right? Like, I think it's the fairness that is nature. And that's like, hey, we're going to take away a little of this. Like, you can't jump as high and maybe you get out of bed a little slower. But we're going to give you sort of a reference like how to stay calm or like not to worry as much or to understand that people can go through hard times and still be okay. So I think it's nature's kind of justice. Yeah. I like that perspective because a lot of times we just think about it like aging is not fair. Youth is wasted on the young, right? We have these sayings. Oh, no, it's great. Yeah. Because you need it. You need that wattage. you know there's something really important that I've learned I have very beautiful daughters right and they're tall and like when I walk with them it's like all the head snapping that goes on it's great right and I walk oftentimes behind them or in front of them if I'm trying to clear the way kind of thing and I think oh yeah they're in that time in life and I can remember being that age and walking down New York City and like you know and I dreaded it people staring at me right And then you get older and you say shit like, I'm invisible. Yeah. And what I realized is we are releasing hormones, right? And so what I've learned is that part of my signaling is turned off. It doesn't mean I'm invisible. It doesn't mean I'm invaluable. It doesn't even mean I'm not attractive. It just means the shop for procreating is closed. So I'm not giving out that signal. So people are not looking to me for that. And they are absolutely looking at it. to them for that because they are right there. And so instead of women thinking I'm invisible, you're not. You probably have the opportunity to be a business owner or a boss, or you have wisdom to contribute. So instead of looking that as the litmus for your value, just go, oh cool, that signal's been turned off. And by the way, if some 25-year-old was like, hey, you'd be like, what are you going to do with it anyway? And so I tend to understand it differently. I don't feel diminished because of that. And what I will say too, that's important. So important as we get older is we do need to have love around us and maybe you're not in a place that you're in a relationship and that's okay, but we need to be in loving relationships. Yeah we just do And so I also want to you know remind people or encourage them to cultivate those relationships because that gives us a lot of power Yeah It gives us so much power Yeah I love that. And yeah, I think that not that there's anything wrong with this, but people who have prioritized their looks to get through life and have had pretty privilege and all of that, which is a thing. Sure. If that's where you're getting all of your value and that's your identity, that is going to go away at some point. It's going to bite you in the ass. Yeah. Really hard. And then you're left with what? Yeah. I always say any currency that diminishes every day that you're alive is not the one you want to lean on. And no matter how beautiful you are, it fades or it changes. And so then build up a different war chest where when you come to the table, maybe you're funny and smart and you have experience and you've traveled or you, like I said, have grown a business. So now you're coming to the table with a whole bunch of stuff. And by the way, even being a loving balance, like a person with perspective, because you might have somebody who listens and goes, well, I'm a stay at home mom and this is what I'm doing. It's like, yeah. And you're accruing some other value that you don't know when you sit at the table is needed because we all kind of share and bring all our stuff to the table and then exchange it and help each other. And I think wisdom and experience in all different ways is really important. You mentioned in the beginning that you're selfish and that you put your practices first so that you can show up as the person that you want to be. I would love to get into some of those practices. So what does a day look like for you? Just walk us through. Okay. Well, I wake up early and mind you now, my youngest daughter just went to NYU. So I have a little more bandwidth. I always say I'm back to my twenties as far as like my work energy, my, all these things, but I train. That has always been my language. For another person, it might be, hey, I meditate because some people need to gear up. Some people need to gear down. I armor up. So I use my physical training to armor up and I go, cool, check. Now I can handle anything. Baseline practice for me is I eat in a way that's supportive of my wellbeing, my health. I'm a person who gets to bed early. My husband is the worst. He wants to get to bed at 830. I think that is ridiculous, but I'm not so far behind him. He's been helpful. And the other thing is like before I train, I sit with him when we're in the same place, which is most times, and we have a coffee together. And we just are two people that have loved each other for 30 years. And I think we talk about our ideas or our thoughts or something we read. Maybe we don't try to solve all our children's issues. And we just are. Because I think going back to who you just are as a human being, not even a woman, because we're all the things, right? So I use the coffee just as a time to connect, going back to connection. You know, I used to think, I learned this about myself a couple of years ago, that achievement, success, accomplishment, all that was what I was going for in my life. I was coming through sport, you think that's what you're doing. And what I realized, because I didn't grow up with a great family, that I was actually going for family. and that all the other things I was doing were actually the secondary things. And I was fortunate to meet my husband at 25 and build this family. But what I realized is that the family was the most important thing. And the basis of that family was the relationship with Laird, but the foundation of the relationship with Laird was my relationship with myself. so I always put myself first then we have an us that capsule and of course my girls I'm of service to them and yeah there's times your kids come first and their schedules and it's insanity but it was really that was always clear to me and I wasn't looking for anyone to make me happy I wasn't looking to be fulfilled through my children or through my relationship with my husband. So the selfishness is also a tone and an attitude that makes me stay on top of, how do I feel? Do I feel good? Do I feel pretty happy? What do I need then to feel those things? And how am I going to do that? And not looking to him to go, you know, can you bring my happiness through the front door? That's not his problem. Conversely, if he's having a bad day, that's also kind of not my problem. I'm here to serve you and make your life better and I'm doing it with that intention but if you're going through something I don't need to wear that coat too I think sports really helped me I'm I think I'm a pretty focused person and so I noticed my monkey mind will be like it could be 10 a.m and I'm worried about like I'm in a meeting but then I'm thinking oh I gotta go get a kid or then dinner oh and then have that other meeting it's like yeah and that's later right now I'm here and so I I've gotten pretty good about once I see my mind doing that, just going, grabbing it back and saying, yeah, that's great. But that doesn't, that doesn't do anything. That doesn't serve me. And this comes back to the selfishness. I look at everything also. I'm here to serve. I really am. But I'm also like, how does this serve me? And I make no qualms about being that brutal and ruthless about how does this thing I'm about to shove in my mouth serve me? What is this thing I'm about to read serve me? What is this relationship? How is it serving me? Conversely, because I'm here to give and show up. And so really having her as kind of the gatekeeper all the time, it allows me to be more present, more loving, and more brutal. It sounds like you have extremely good boundaries. Would that be fair to say? I think so. And sometimes I don't need to slap them down out in the world. Sometimes I just don't let it push in on me. And that's different. So then you have to walk around muscling everything. You just go, oh yeah, I'm not putting that on my plate. Like that's just, I'm not doing, like literally like it starts lobbing my direction. I'm like, nope, that's not for me. And so boundaries can sometimes be a really conscious and like physical or verbal thing. And sometimes it's just like, I'm not taking that on. I'm not taking that on. Yeah. I think so many of us carry a lot of unnecessary baggage. Yeah. Emotional baggage. Just we're letting too much through the filter. Yeah. Yeah. It's got to be pretty big to get through my filter. And also sometimes I notice it and then I go, oh, interesting. Or if I get upset by something and then I have to ask myself why, because then that's on me. Like, why have I reacted to that? Or why did I let that get through? Because that's something going on with me. And so that goes back to that accountability part where it's like, I'm always still going to ask myself, did you participate in this? We talk a lot about longevity and aging on the podcast. And one thing that I have learned is that a lot of what we are told to take focuses on symptoms, not what's actually happening at the cellular level where aging really starts. So this is why I want to talk about fatty 15. It's not another omega three. And that's actually the point. So fatty 15 is based on C15. It's the first essential fatty acid discovered in over 90 years, and it plays a critical role in keeping our cells strong and resilient. And here's what surprised me. 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There's even a hundred percent money back guarantee. So you really have nothing to lose for over a decade. Just thrive has been helping thousands of people take control of their health with science-backed solutions that you can trust. From their award-winning probiotic to their full line of gut, immune, and brain health supplements, Just Thrive is ready to help you live your healthiest life. So take the Just Thrive Feel Better Challenge today and save 20% on your first gut essentials bundle. Visit justthrivehealth.com slash well and save 20% with the promo code well. See the difference for yourself or get a full product refund. No questions asked. Again, that's just thrivehealth.com slash well. I am generally pretty good about getting protein in at every meal, but I really need to supplement with protein powders to make sure that I am hitting my protein goals. And when I choose a protein powder, it has to be not heavy, not chalky, definitely not full of weird ingredients. And one that I keep coming back to is Paleo Valley's bone broth protein, especially the vanilla flavor. So what I love about this is that it's made from 100% grass-fed, grass-finished beef bones, slow-simmered the traditional way, not hides, not ultra-processed peptides. So you're getting a protein that's actually nutrient-dense and not just supportive for your entire body, but for your gut, your joints, skin, and connective tissue. And one of the coolest things about bone broth protein is that it's naturally rich in glycine. This is an amino acid that most of us don't get enough of. Glycine plays a role in things like collagen production, muscle recovery, and nervous system support. And I personally noticed that when I'm getting enough of it, my body feels calmer and more balanced instead of wired. The vanilla flavor is subtle and creamy. It's not sweet, not artificial, and it blends so easily into smoothies, my protein oats, or even just hot water. It's an easy way to add 15 grams of protein without upsetting digestion, which is huge for me. And if you're looking for a clean whole food protein that actually fits into real life, this one is a staple. So head to paleovalley.com slash well, or use the code well at checkout for 15% off your first purchase. That's paleovalley.com slash well, or use the code well at checkout. I do want to ask you about the training piece of it. Having been an athlete your whole life. How do you keep pushing it? How do you keep your body on its toes? Essentially, I know you've said your, your training is hard. Yeah. Yeah. So what does that look like? Well, from a, from a kind of logistical kind of a Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I do sort of a high intensity where there's lifting and there's a cardio component. And, you know, I try to get on one leg, you know, work on one leg proprioception and balance. because certainly as you get older, that's important. It's important to do. And then I, I definitely incorporated walking more. So even if I walk before my training, like an hour walk with a weight vest outside in nature, I will get up earlier to do that. I did not do that when my kids were young. I didn't have that kind of time. Now I do. So I, I'm like, oh, okay, you have the time, get it going. And then I will do an underwater pool training that my husband and I and a few friends developed over the years, the last maybe 17, 18 years, that's hard. And I'll do that on a Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday where, you know, it's a way to do a lot of cardiovascular hypoxic training, but I don't have to pound my joints. I already have an artificial knee, but I can also do ballistic training so I can be explosive because that's something that we let go of as we get older. But again, without pounding myself, it is outside. There's a social element to it. I do it that way. And then occasionally I'll do other things. Like I'll just compartmentalize. Like I'll think, you know, I didn't do a Katie Bowman and Dr. Diana Hill taught, you know, I've learned from them about like exercise snacking. I've said this a lot. I can train really hard for 75 minutes in the morning and then I'll sit on my desk all day. That's not good either. So little exercise snacks. So maybe I have a trampoline. I'll go jump on it for 15 or 20 minutes or do that after dinner. You know, people, the science on taking a walk after dinner, which was a tradition that most people did, whether they understood why they did it or not, the health benefits are through the roof. And so learning that sometimes more is not more, you know, pounding myself is not great. And that 10 or 15 minutes can be hugely impactful. So having those exercise snacks and recovery, getting to bed, trying to recover. I've never been a great sleeper. And then, you know, not beating myself up. Like I never get enough protein. everybody's like protein protein i don't get it so refreshing to hear by the way 75 pounds you think i'm eating 170 yeah i don't know there's been a day that i've hit that mark yeah but i just do the best i can and sometimes i notice i go huh i'm great today all right tomorrow a little better a little more on it and like the hydration piece never graded it so one thing i want to remind people is it's like priming the pump for water you know you get out there and it's like uh uh uh It takes so much effort. But once you kind of get it going, you know, you can prime the pump with your finger. Consistency and strategy and making it hard a couple days of the week there real value Not only to maintenance but to trying to keep improving But like at my age I fighting to keep muscle Yeah Yeah I was going to ask you how your approach and how your training has changed over the years. And if you feel that having been so dedicated your whole life has protected you from a lot of the fluctuations and deviations that women experience, especially in their forties and fifties. It's definitely protected me. I went into, I still have my cycle. It's a, it's a little, you know, sputtering. I joke, I'm like, you can hear my ovaries going like, you know, like that's happening. But I definitely, I didn't have to even look at that until I was 54. Wow. So lifestyle really helped me glide into all those years where I didn't have weight fluctuation, but I'm talking about real consistency. So I paid, I front loaded, I paid, you know, with a lot of that. And I want to remind women, it's not like you don't have to feel bad. You know, you think and go to their doctor and they'll go, well, that's just the age you're in. That's total horseshit. You have the right to sleep well and feel good and not feel like you're losing your mind, but you got to look under the hood. You got to get your blood work done. And then you have to do the things. Like if it says lifting weights heavy, then they go, well, I've never done that great learn how it doesn't mean you have to lift heavy heavy it means heavier than maybe you've you're used to and for some people that could be a 10 or 15 pound dumbbell and that's great so I think it's about being honest with yourself getting a look under the hood but certainly yes my lifestyle has been helpful and something I've really thought about I have been in a long relationship with a very loving person who also moves a lot and I think that has helped me tremendously. Yeah. Because sometimes I just look out the window and I go there he goes. I better get going and then I you know he'll look at me and being adored. Yeah. And being cherished. Yes when I was younger I was like yeah because I deserve that. Yeah. And I did. But now as I'm older, it is something I'm so deeply grateful for to have a person through good and through bad has loved me and also inspired me because I don't have the fuel on my own. And so that's why I always go back to the community piece. So if whether you're in a relationship or not, have a friend who makes you laugh and who, when you look at them, you're like, they love me. And they also are like, yo, let's go. We're going to the gym. Yeah. This is great. And be that for somebody else. yeah you know yeah you're so fortunate that you have that yes dynamic and you have that example because conversely if you were married to somebody who's not doing any of that it gives you permission and you know your habits are going to feed off the you know they are nobody's that you are who you hang out with you are you know they influence you more than anybody and it doesn't have to be a partner but it is such an important choice choosing who your partner is because not only the habits but their effect on your nervous system. Well, you regulate each other's nervous system, right? But the other part of that is like, how are you showing up for them? Yeah. Because I call it the up cycle. I'm that for him. He's that for me. Instead of like, I'm waiting for you, lift me up. You know, it's like, I don't focus on that. I focus on how can I lift you up? Yeah. It's amazing. You are surrounded by high performers and athletes and not only in your personal life, but also, you know, you've had your show and you interview some of the top people in their respective fields. Is there anything that you learned or like any piece of advice that you applied to your life that you were like, wow, that really had an impact on you that you didn't already do? Yeah, absolutely. So there's two sides. We'll use the physical side, the more kind of easy, very small. And this is more like a trick for people. I interviewed Abby Smith Ryan, who's a friend of mine and she's a researcher and she said no because everybody's different right like they're where they come from their genetics if you're male female your age whatever she said the one thing that they were studying that everybody got a benefit from from a metabolic drive position right metabolic function is if you had 10 minutes and you have a bike you go as hard as you can which isn't that hard for a minute a minute's a long time and then you just ride it for a minute so you can get a stationary bike even better if you have handles then you go down a minute then on the so on the odds one three and five you go as hard as you can for that minute and then on the evens two four six and eight you know and ten you just ride every single person they researched got benefits so when people go I don't have time great you don't know what to do, you walk into the gym, do that. So on the days that I'm like, yo, I'm not going to get anything done today. I get my butt on the bike and I just do the 10 minutes. I don't like it. Who knows? You know, my one minute down is so quick and my one minute on is so long. And then the other thing I've recently learned from Gabrielle Lyon was, I used to think, oh, 30, 35 grams of protein is what you absorb at a sitting no matter what. It's not true. Every single bit of protein that you eat at a sitting, you absorb. So for example, a person like me, I tend to get most of it at night or more of it at night. So I don't worry about like, well, I'm only getting 35 grams. That was really helpful. From the personal side of what I've learned, I talk a lot about Byron Katie as somebody who helped me. She has a program called The Work. She has four questions. Is it true? And I know it to be true for sure. Who am I when I think those thoughts? And who would I be without that belief? And I use that all the time. So it gets me out of my stories. and that has been really really really helpful I love that I have some lightning round questions that I want to ask you let's see what is one belief that you had to unlearn that I have to earn it I learned to receive grace and just say thank you what's harder motivation or discipline oh i mean for me it's motivation discipline gets you through scaffolding nobody has real motivation it's it's a it's a it's a farce i'm sure you get that question all the time too how do you stay motivated right you can be motivated to really genuinely want to but you need the discipline which i just call the scaffolding that you build around your life so you don't get killed by your blind spots. What is your go-to reset when you feel like you are not being the version of yourself that you want to be? Or maybe not even a reset, not to steal your... No, no. That I'm a gunch. You know, listen, when I notice I'm heading, because usually I can recognize it. One of my daughters can catch me off guard and I can snap. She's the one who'll just get the button. I'm like, whoa, how did I get there? But typically I can see myself heading towards something, I just retreat. I go take a hot shower. I just get away because I can see it coming. So I go back in and I'll ask myself like, hey, what's really going on? And it could be I'm overwhelmed. I have overscheduled myself. So just take a beat and back up. I call it play dad. Sometimes I'm like, Ariel, play dad. Because I want to either pop off or I want to get on and fire off the thing, you know, or whatever it is. And I'm like, just play that. Yeah. You can write the email, just never send it. That's really great. I love that you say all this stuff you want and then you just go, yeah, okay, I feel good now. Yeah. You feel better getting it out. So good. Yeah. What is a habit that changed your nervous system the most? That when something's happening that I know, because I'm a person who leans into things that scare me with anger. I use like force because I'm scared. So I'm, cause I'm trying to protect myself. And instead I just don't resist and I allow myself to go, well, this makes me really uncomfortable. And what that does is I don't have to hold it in my nervous system. I can surrender and then I can start to calm down. I'm going to use that. what is something that looks woo-woo but is actually very practical well breathing effective breathing is is a very powerful tool and so you'll hear people like hmm and huh and all the humming and this and that there's so much around this that's why it's such an ancient practice that i think if people learn how to use it as a tool that works for them is so powerful what is your favorite hack to raise energy fast. I know working out is probably a given. I've heard you talk about nicotine before. Yeah, I had some earlier. You did? Yeah, I did. Tell us more about that. Well, people get upset about nicotine. Listen, you want to not smoke it. You don't want the heat on your lungs. You don't want high dose. You want low dose. I like it for a little boost of energy. Before we came in here, I took a shot. I don't work with the company of Ketone IQ. you warning on the label it tastes it's not good but I just gives me it's a non-stimulant so let's say I need a three o'clock boost I don't want caffeine it gives me a lot of bang for about 90 minutes especially for the brain the other thing people can do is if they learn how to breathe correctly you can ramp up your system with certain breathing patterns that kind of like battle breathing protocols get you ready and it's really helpful what is a lesson that you keep learning over and over. Oh, well, I mean that in which you resist persists, right? So I'm like, oh, you haven't learned that yet. So I think for me, it's the minute something hits me and I have the knee jerk to resist it or to try to control it. It's like, oh, you're moving it in. It's going to be here longer. And so a level of acceptance and then allowing to see what's going to happen is something I'm learning daily. And then lastly, something you wish people would stop doing and something you would like people to start doing. Well, listen, anytime we take the victim role in our life, it's never going to improve. And we have an interesting culture right now where I think people, their hardwiring is moving into a place where they're constantly in their sympathetic system, which I think ramps you up to a place of victimhood and hysteria. And in fact, it doesn't change my life. My hope for people is that they would be able to stop, really ask themselves what they want and need and would like, and what would be the things that they could do in order to gain it. Being a victim or blaming other people, life is unfair it just is but what are the things in your control that you can do so you can show up better to make the world a better place because if that's what we're all really interested in because I'm interested in that then do that be that because we can't control a lot of it and so my hope for people is to figure out a way to to do that and then they'll do the second part of that, which is to show up their best selves, their unique selves, because it's not about all of us being the same or agreeing. It's about each of us individually just showing up and being the best that we can and loving and accepting each other for our sameness and differences. And that is my real hope. And for people to understand that strength is really about compassion and love, and it's not about force. That's what I'm aiming for. I fail all the time, but that's what I'm going for. It's beautiful. Tell everybody where they can find you. All my handles are Gabby Reese. I have the Gabby Reese show. And yeah, I'm just, you know, I always say I'm not, I don't want to tell people what to do. And my friends are encouraging me to share what I think. And so that's all I'm doing. And I always say to people, you have an inner wisdom. And so only take from people what resonates with you. Take the good, leave the rest. And so I'm just trying to show up and share the patterns and experiences I've seen and they can take it for what it's worth. Well, you're such a beacon because you walk the walk. You don't just talk the talk. And that's true. And you have something that I think a lot of people want, not just the physical strength and this, you know, I'm not talking circumstances, but that internal peace and presence, I think that is really what comes through more than anything, which is not common these days. So, yeah. So thank you for sharing all of your work. Thank you. And your experience. Thank you for having me. I hope you enjoyed that episode. If you liked the episode and if you like the show in general, please take a second to rate, review, and subscribe. It goes such a long way in supporting the show. Follow the show over on Instagram at well.pod. You can also follow my personal Instagram at Arielle Laurie. I'm always sharing great clips from the episodes and we also have full episodes on YouTube as well if you want to watch in entirety. Thanks for listening. This is Gracie Norton from the Wellness Her Way podcast, the ultimate sanctuary for a welcoming approach to wellness. It seems like every day there's a new food we're not supposed to eat, a new cleanse to take part in, or a new workout that claims to give us a flat stomach within a week. Rather than hopping on trends, we're going back to the roots of wellness and making a home of our body, mind, and soul. If you're seeking physical growth, emotional abundance, or simply a more fulfilling life, tune in to the Wellness Herway podcast on November 6th. Get ready to embrace your body through all its forms and get back to the roots of wellness. Thank you.