BITESIZE | How to Build Better Habits & Break Old Ones | James Clear #639

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If you want to start supporting your future self, Heights is giving my listeners an exclusive 20% off your first audit of Thrive, just go to Heights.com, forward slash live more and use the code LIVEMORE to get started. Welcome to Feel Better Live More Bite Size, your weekly dose of positivity and optimism to get you ready for the weekend. Today's clip is from episode 145 of the podcast with James Clear, author of the bestselling book, Atomic Habits. In this clip, James explains why small daily habits can have such a powerful impact on our lives, why focusing on systems rather than outcomes can lead to lasting change. And he also shares four simple principles to help our habits stake. There are a variety of things that influence your outcomes in life. There's luck and randomness. There's your choices, individual decisions you make, where to go to school, who to marry, what job to take, what career to pursue. And then there are your habits and your actions. And by definition, the first one, luck and randomness is not under your control. Now, your choices, we can talk more about that possibly, but the one that I've explored the most is your habits. And the reason is because they are decisions, they're also choices, but they're ones that get repeated day in and day out. And I think for that reason, they exert an enormous force on your outcomes in life. And we could potentially boil it down and simplify it and say that your current life today is largely the sum of your habits. In many ways, it's the habits that you've been following for, say, the last six months or the last year or the last two years that have carried you to whatever results you have right now. I had a friend who told me a couple months ago, I thought I liked the way he phrased it. He said, if you're enjoying good results right now, you were killing it six months ago. And I think that speaks to the quality of habits and how they build up and compound. And it's really the process that you've been running. And I like to kind of simplify this down and use, I use the phrase system versus goal. And so what I say is that, like, you do not rise to the level of your goals, you fall to the level of your systems. And if we're a little bit more precise about those words, your goal is like your desired outcome, it's your target, the thing that you want to achieve. But what is your system? Your system is the collection of daily habits that you follow. And so each little habit is kind of like a gear in that overall machine. And if you optimize your habits, you're optimizing your system and you naturally fall to whatever that level of result is to whatever the system is running toward. If there is ever a gap between your goal and your system, if there's ever a gap between your desired outcome and your daily habits, your daily habits will always win. It doesn't matter how good your intentions were, it doesn't matter what you hope to achieve. It's what your habits are carrying you toward. And so the kind of the great irony of all of this is we also badly want better results in life. You know, we also badly want to make more money or to reduce stress or to find love or to be more productive. But the results are actually not the thing that needs to change. It's the system that precedes the results. It's the habits that precede the outcome. So it's kind of like fix the inputs and the outputs will fix themselves. Why is it that we don't sort of intuitively get that? Why is it, you know, classic case January the first every year where it's, okay, complete lifestyle overhaul, get to the gym three times a week, eat completely perfect whole foods, you know, don't bring any sugar in the house. And it lasts for about two weeks or three weeks at the most for many people. And then if they're not seeing results, you know, there's something, isn't there in the human psyche that actually we, we judge the success of our habits, maybe a little bit too early, I guess. I really like what your friend said about how you are now is what you were doing six months ago. That's it's such a beautiful way to think about it. But what's going on there with human psychology that we sort of, we don't quite see it. So whether it's the daily news cycle or social media, it tends to be very results focused, it tends to be very results oriented. So, you know, you're never going to see a news story that says something like man eats chicken and salad for lunch today, right? It's only going to be a story when it's like man loses, you know, all this weight, or we only hear about the Broadway play once it's a hit, not when it's being written, right? We only hear about the successful team after they've won the championship, not while they're training in the off season. And so the results of success are often highly visible and discussed. And the process of success is often hidden from view. And for that reason, I think we tend to overvalue results and undervalue the process that, you know, precedes it, the all the work that comes before. So I think, you know, society tends to be very outcome oriented and results matter. And this is this again is like one of the little ironies are kind of competing tensions of this. I'm not saying the results don't matter, they do. But people who focus only on results win one time, people who focus on systems win again and again. And so the place that you want to focus is on building better habits and developing better systems, not necessarily achieving a particular outcome. Yeah, so much for people to reflect on there, I think. But Jameson, but you've got these four laws, these four laws of behavior change, I guess. And I wonder if we could go through them. Yeah, sure, of course. So if you want to have it stick, you kind of roughly have four different things that if you can get them working for you, they're sort of like levers. And if they're in the right positions, building good habits is easier. And if they're in the wrong positions, you're kind of fighting an uphill battle. So the first thing is you want to make your habits obvious. Most habits are preceded by some kind of cue. And so you want the cues of your habits to be obvious, available, visible, easy to see the easier it is to see or get your attention, the more likely you are to stick with the habit or perform it. The second one is to make your habits attractive. If you want your habits to be motivating, if you want them to be compelling, then you need it to be attractive in some form. The third law is to make it easy. So the easier, more convenient, frictionless your habits are, the more likely you are to perform them. And the fourth and final things you want to make it satisfying. So the more satisfying or enjoyable a habit is, the more likely you are to stick with it. Now, not every behavior in life is satisfying or rewarding, right? Sometimes things have a cost or a consequence. Sometimes they're fairly neutral. But if a behavior is not rewarding, if it's not enjoyable, at least to some degree, then it's unlikely to become a habit. It needs to have some kind of positive emotional signal associated with it that kind of tells your brain, hey, that felt good. You should repeat this again next time. So real quick summary, the four laws behavior change, make it obvious, make it attractive, make it easy, make it satisfying. So if someone's listening to this and they go, right, okay, I'm bought in, gonna get James's book. I'm gonna get James's book. I'm gonna get James's book. I'm gonna start a meditation practice. Where should I begin? How would you advise them using your sort of framework of these laws? So usually if I if I say, okay, we got to start in some place, what's the first thing I should do? I actually typically recommend what I call the two minute rule. And the two minute rule is part of that third law, which is making it easy. And the two minute rule says take whatever habit you're trying to build and scale it down to something that takes two minutes or less to do. So do yoga four days a week becomes take out my yoga mat or meditate for, you know, 15 minutes a day becomes meditate for two minutes. And sometimes I say that and people resisted a little bit. So like, okay, you know, I know the real goal isn't just to take my yoga mat out, right? And I know I'm actually trying to do the workout. So this is some kind of mental trick that like, why would I fall for it? Basically. And I get where people are coming from. But so I have this reader, his name is Mitch, and he lost a bunch of weight, he's kept it off for over a decade. But for the first six weeks that he went to the gym, he had a rule for himself where he wasn't allowed to stay for longer than five minutes. So he get in the car, drive to the gym, get out, do half an exercise, get back in the car, drive home. And it sounds ridiculous, right? It sounds silly. You're like, obviously, this is not going to get the guy the results that he wants. But if you take a step back, what you realize is that he was mastering the art of showing up, right? He was becoming the type of person that went to the gym four days a week, even if it was only for five minutes. And I think this is a much deeper truth about habits that often gets overlooked, which is a habit must be established before it can be improved, right? It has to become the standard in your life before you can optimize and scale it up. And for whatever reason, we get very all or nothing with our habits, you know, it's like, I have to find the perfect workout program or the ideal business plan or the best diet to follow before I can take a first step. And, you know, a lot of the time we put off action, because we think I need to learn more. But usually the best way to learn is by taking action. And so the two minute rule kind of helps you overcome that tendency to have this like perfectionist spiral and research too much, and encourages you to just get started. So I think that's step number one, starting with keeping the bar low, and you need to get in your reps. And this is true, I think, for almost any kind of habit that you're building, like, you need the repetitions, whether it's meditating for one minute or writing one sentence or reading one page, it doesn't matter that it's almost always better to do less than you had hoped than to do nothing at all. And the two minute rule kind of helps nudge you toward that direction, nudge you toward the direction of getting in your reps, getting it done and mastering the art of showing up, even if it's in a small way, and then using that as a foothold to advance to the next level and kind of build some momentum and get that feeling of progress. And then we can start to apply some of the other laws. And one of the things that I like to come back to when we talk about designing habits is what is the path of least resistance? So how can I make the good habits the obvious and easy thing to do in this environment? And well, the more friction there is between you and an undesirable behavior, the less likely you are to do it. So, you know, people can have good intentions, we can have all kinds of things that we would like to do. But the habits that we often actually spend time on are often the path of least resistance. Like, if you take a lot of people feel like they watch too much TV or they watch more Netflix than they would like or whatever. But if you walk into any living room, where do all the couches and chairs face? Right? So it's like, what is this room designed to get you to do? And I'm not saying that you have to, you know, get rid of your television or something, but you could place it inside a cabinet or a wall unit so that it's behind doors, you're less likely to see it. You could take the chair that you usually sit in to watch television, you could turn it and have it face a coffee table with a book on it. You could take the remote control, put it inside a drawer, put a book in its place. And, you know, no single choice like that is going to radically transform your behavior. But you can imagine the impact of making a dozen or two dozen or 50 little choices like that throughout your environment that all kind of prime the more productive action. And suddenly it becomes a lot easier to stick to good habits when they're the path of least resistance. Yeah, that's really, really helpful, James. And you sort of frame that with two of the four laws. I really like the fourth law, make it satisfying. What are some of the ways that people can make things satisfying? Often the problem is with good habits or, you know, in Advertisement Commerce, good habits. The problem often is is the, the, the design effects is somewhere in the future. And so how can people bring that into the present? Well, I think the ultimate form of a reward is feeling like you're showing up as the type of person that you want to be, that it's reinforcing your desired identity. But as you mentioned, the problem is it takes a long time for that to be true. Like the first time you meditate, you don't identify as I'm a meditator and it feels good to do this because that's part of who I am and part of my identity. It might take you a year or two or who knows how long before you actually start to adopt that feeling. I mean, I didn't identify as an author until I actually had a published book. Like even when I was writing it, I didn't feel like I was an author. So that that can take a long time. I think the key though is that in my opinion, there are kind of two things. One, you want some kind of a reward that is immediate. And I think the speed of it is actually quite important. You need to feel that positive emotional signal right away so that you have a reason to tie that behavior to feeling good, and you have a reason to repeat it again in the future when the same situation arises. So there are a couple of different ways you can do this. One very simple way that applies to almost any habit is to use a habit tracker. So I'd like to use my dad as an example here. So both of my parents like to swim, but one of the challenges with swimming is that your body looks exactly the same when you get out of the water as it does when you jumped in. And so you have no evidence that that workout was worth it, right? You have no evidence that this is actually getting you what you want. And so what my dad does is after each workout, he pulls out a little calendar and he puts an X on that day. And it's a small thing, but that X in the moment is something that matches the frequency of the habit. Every time he swims, he also gets to put an X down. And it gives him a signal of visual progress. Progress is one of the most motivating feelings for the human mind. You need to have some way to visualize that some way to see that you're progressing. Because if you can't see the change in your body, or there's no change on the scale yet, you need something else that says, Hey, that was the right thing to do. This feels good to show up and do the thing I want to do. So I have a tracker is one very simple one. The other thing though, and people talk about external rewards all the time. And so, you know, like, Oh, I went to the gym. And so I'm going to reward myself by getting an ice cream cone or something. But my little nuance or argument here is I think you want to choose external rewards that align with the internal identity that you're trying to build. So if you reward yourself or go into the gym by getting an ice cream cone, that's kind of like casting votes for two different identities, like on the one hand, you're casting vote for being a healthy person. On the other hand, you're casting a vote for eating ice cream or whatever. So instead, you could do something like reward yourself, you know, any week when you don't miss a workout, you reward yourself with a bubble bath at the end of the week. And that's sort of like an external reward that also is a vote for taking care of your body. And so that kind of aligns with that identity that you're trying to build through working out. Or say any month that you hit your target of saving for retirement, you some people might say, Oh, well, you could reward yourself by buying a leather jacket, but that doesn't really align with the financial saving mentality you're trying to build. So instead, I would say, well, any month that you hit that target, you could reward yourself with say, a free hour where you get to take a walk in the park or free time to do whatever you want. Because really what you're trying to get to with retirement is freedom. And so you're kind of aligning with that same internal identity that you're trying to build. But I do think that the faster, so the immediacy part, the faster you can get a positive reward, that's a really powerful thing. And the more that your external rewards can align with the internal identity you're trying to build, that's an important thing to keep in mind as well. Yeah, there are loads of tips in the book actually to help people do just that, I think. I know for myself, there are a few keystone habits. So it's a habit that if I do, the knock on benefit to everything else is quite profound. It's, I don't know, like a mega habit in some ways. If that one gets in, everything else gets in. And is this something you've seen, have you written about it? Is it something you've seen in the research? Yeah, so first place I ever saw the phrase keystone habit was in the power of habit by Charles Duhigg. And I like the idea, the idea that you've got these, I sometimes will call them a meta habit, it's kind of like above all the other habits that come after it. And I've seen a couple, I have a couple in my own life, I've seen them with readers as well. There are a few common ones. So sleep is an interesting one. If you get a good night of sleep, then you set yourself up for the next day and getting, it's very hard to perform other habits at your highest and best level if you're constantly running low on sleep. So that's an important one. And then for me, what I would consider my keystone habit is exercise. I'm interested in strength training, but I think any form of exercise could probably work. And what I find, and this is to the point that you just made, if I get the workout in, I get the benefits of the workout, the benefits of like the physical fitness, but a couple other things happen as well. The first is I tend to eat better on days that I would work out. You would think I could like, I'll just be sloppy about it. But it's really if I'm not working out, then like my whole life kind of devolved. So I start eating sloppy. But if I get in the gym, then it's like, well, I don't want to waste it. And so I eat, I eat healthier. The second thing is that I tend to have like this post workout high, you know, where you're pretty focused and you can concentrate well for maybe an hour or so. I sleep better that night because I'm tired from the workout, which means I wake up the next day and I have better energy. And at no point was I trying to build better nutrition habits or focus habits or sleep habits or energy habits. But all those things kind of came as a natural side effect of just making sure I got the workout in. So I think a question you can ask yourself is just, what are the things that I do on the day when things go well? And one of those is often your Keystone habit, like exercises commonly listed going for a daily walk is a common one, especially among creatives, just getting outside and moving a little bit. Managers and CEOs or high performers, probably physicians as well, probably talk about meditation as a common Keystone habit. They get those few minutes in, then that kind of sets their day up for success. So, you know, you can decide what it is for you, but those are some common examples of habits that tend to pull the rest of your life in line. Yeah. I want to talk about identity. We touched on it a little bit, but it's probably the thing in the entire book that resonates with me on a deep level the most, because in many ways it reflects what I've experienced in my own life, but also what I've seen time and time again with patience is that it's not just about habits, of course it is, but it's what doing those habits regularly does for you and how you think about yourself. True behavior change is really identity change. And what I mean by that is if you start to look at yourself in a new way, if you assign a new story to yourself, you're not even really pursuing behavior change anymore. You're just acting in alignment with the type of person that you see yourself to be. So, if you identify as I'm a meditator, you're not really convincing yourself to meditate each day. You're just like, no, this is what I do because that's part of who I am. And so, the real goal is not to run a marathon. The goal is to become a runner. The goal is not to read 50 books a year. It's to become a reader. The goal is not to do a silent meditation retreat. It's to become a meditator. And once you start assigning those identities to yourself, you start seeing the behavior in a new way. It's not an obligation or something you're trying to achieve. It's not a challenge. It's just part of your natural action. Now, ultimately, and kind of to connect this idea to the rest of our conversation, I think this is where habits come back into play. And it's the real reason I think why habits matter. Like we often talk about habits as being the pathway to external results. Oh, habits will help you lose weight or make more money or be more productive or reduce stress. And, you know, it's true. Habits can help you do all those things and that's great. But I think the real reason that habits matter is they reinforce a new identity. They reshape the way you think about yourself. Every action you take is like a vote for the type of person that you wish to become. And so, no, doing one push up does not transform your body. But it does cast a vote for on the type of person who doesn't miss workouts. And no, writing one sentence does not finish the novel. But it does cast a vote for I'm a writer. And the more that you do these things, the more you perform these little habits, the more you cast votes and build up kind of a body of evidence for being that kind of person. And eventually, the weight of the evidence sort of shifts things in this, the story shifts in that direction. So start by doing one push up or meditating for one minute or writing one sentence or sending one email and letting that be undeniable evidence that in that moment, you were that kind of person, you were an athlete, you were a meditator, you were a sales person, whatever it is that you're trying to achieve. I kind of think the first question to ask yourself is what kind of identity do I want to build? Who do I wish to become? And if you have a good idea of that, then you can start to back into habits that reinforce that identity. And I feel like that's often a more fruitful way to approach behavior change than to try to achieve some external result. Yeah. Hope you enjoyed that bite size clip. Do spread the love by sharing this episode with your friends and family. If you want more, why not go back and listen to the original full conversation with my guests. If you enjoyed this episode, I think you will really enjoy my bite sized Friday email. It's called the Friday five. 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